


break your little heart

by gaokat



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Denial of Feelings, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gen, Hanging Out, Implied Sexual Content, Intimacy, Learning To Understand Yourself and Others, Lee Minho | Lee Know is a Sweetheart, Lee Minho | Lee Know-centric, Light Angst, M/M, Or Is It?, POV Multiple, Pining, Platonic Cuddling, References to Canon, Romantic Comedy, Slow Burn, The Small Things Matter, Unrequited Love, everyone either has or had a crush on minho bc that's just realistic, skz are best friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:47:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 154,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25134124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaokat/pseuds/gaokat
Summary: Looking at someone like they hung the stars in your sky isn’t enough proof to say that you’re in love – according to Han Jisung. Not that he’s been doing such a thing in the first place. There’s this special feeling he has unintentionally reserved only for Minho… but it’s not love, Hyunjin, shut the fuck up.At least Hyunjin is somewhat consistent with his honesty. Maybe it comes with his crush on Seungmin.Meanwhile Chan tries to figure everything and everyone out, Seungmin just wants to follow the good kid agenda, Felix wants to live up to his self-proclaimed title of confident bisexual, Jeongin thinks he has way too much responsibility in this damn friend group, and Changbin tries really hard to be good to everyone. Oh, and Minho? No one really knows what goes on inside his head. Don’t mind him.Lee Minho is a heartthrob and that's a universal truth. Somehow everything always leads back to that.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin, Lee Minho | Lee Know/Seo Changbin, Other(s) - Relationship
Comments: 501
Kudos: 455
Collections: Minsung





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone! ( ≧▽≦)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧   
>  this story is so much fun to write and work on! it was supposed to be a one shot but suddenly i had like sooo many words and said alrighty chaptered it is. it's not perfect, but i'm really excited!  
> i love the friendship the skz members have with each other and their dynamics a lot. and their music is amazing, go support skz!!   
>  i spiced the plot up with a few 'canon' references here and there, because nothing is more chaotic than the things stray kids already do and say in real life. i wonder if you will notice some of the references. ✿   
>  the plot has fun and jokes, but deeper feelings are in everything. some passages secretly have a little bit of poetic composition. overall, details are important. there's a lot going on! *edit: updated summary 
> 
> oh, and going into this story, i want two things straight out the way: 1) friendship is very important 2) nobody ever knows what lee minho is thinking. instead, you'll know what everyone else is thinking, assuming and wishing for depending on who's the focus for the scene. keep that in mind. 
> 
> it's a slow burn. it'll be fun, stay.   
> enjoy!! ☆

It all starts on one of their obligatory movie and game nights with all eight of them present, in the beginning of their new winter semester with the weather growing colder. Ok, maybe things don’t quite start there. It’s a long story – really, since it’s all in the small things in life. Maybe the whole thing is something that has been building up for a while and finds its slow burst today.

Either way it will make Seungmin feel responsible somehow.

Their bi-weekly movie and game nights (“MG events”, Changbin had dubbed them in one of his improvised raps once and after everyone else made fun of it, they deemed it fancy enough to actually use) are usually organised in their group chat for every two weeks minimum, because it’s hard to have eight young adults in the same place with all their different schedules at once. It is one of the reasons it was implemented in the first place.

As rowdy as they can be sometimes, their well-rounded friend group consists of eight versatile boys: Bang Chan, Lee Minho, Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung, Lee Felix, Kim Seungmin and Yang Jeongin.

Usually they choose which apartment or dorm to go to and the rest, who aren’t the hosts, have to bring snacks or some form of entertainment. (Felix always brings his Nintendo Switch. Jisung thinks it’s unfair because he doesn’t even have to be creative about it.) These get-togethers, next to entertainment purposes, are also used to catch up on each other’s lives and anything else the boys want to talk about with everyone, whether it be worries or advice.

Basically: friendship time.

The whole thing had been Chan and Jeongin’s idea. Although Jeongin has been saying he regrets ever bringing it up, everyone lowkey knows he’s just being tsundere about it.

Of course, they meet outside of their all-8-get-togethers as well, just more often in smaller groups since that’s usually easier to plan (or not plan, if spontaneous). While they do have friends outside of their core friend group as eight, it is often easy to find one of them by the side of at least one other member of their core friend group.

Whether it be Changbin, Jisung and Felix going clothes shopping together and talking about things like ‘dark’; Chan, Changbin, Minho and Jeongin working out in the for-students-free campus gym; Minho and Jeongin going to the ice cream parlour near campus on hot summer days or raid the supermarket freezer to eat ice cream at home on colder days; Hyunjin and Seungmin having little picnics in the park when the weather allows it; Chan, Changbin and Jisung working on music together either in the studio or at either of their homes if they’re not too distracted by goofing around together; Jisung and Felix visiting comic book stores and buying either nothing or a whole shelf worth of manga; Aussie-line Chan and Felix training at the boxing gym down the block of their apartment complex (sometimes Minho joins and drags Hyunjin along as his assistant); Changbin and Seungmin surprise-hugging each other on campus, depending on who spots the other first (also, Jisung trying to join the fun but never quite succeeding); Hyunjin and Seungmin making Jeongin join them to a trip to an amusement park because they want to spoil the youngest, or making Minho join them in eating late night snacks because they want to ~~spend time with him~~ ruin his diet; the roommates Chan, Minho, Changbin and Hyunjin going to a few clubs and parties here and there if specifically invited by their mutual friends outside their core friend group; and so on and more.

A special mention to Minho and Jisung who are the most common sub-combination; almost always seen together inter alia in coffee shops, cafés, in shared free periods anywhere around campus and free time at home. And if they are seen standing a little too close, touching a little too much or staring at each other for a little too long – lost in their own little world – then no one will voluntarily disturb Minho and Jisung (but someone may tease the two about it after).

In conclusion the eight of them spend a lot of time together, whether it be cosy days at home or going out somewhere. Their bi-weekly MG events are the 99% guarantee to catch all eight of them together in one place.

This fateful night their MG event is hosted in Felix’s and Seungmin’s shared apartment off campus. While Felix is quite excited for it as usual, Seungmin isn’t necessarily looking forward to all the cleaning up they’d have to do after. Not that Felix ever looks forward to cleaning, he just… puts that thought off for later.

With the living room full of eight university students, snacks, board- and videogames and half empty pizza boxes, it seems like one of their usual MG events. Felix, Changbin and Hyunjin are sprawled on the floor, focused on finishing each other off in Smash Bros on the TV. Chan, Jeongin and Seungmin, on the left side of the L-shaped couch, are talking about recent news and their classes. Minho and Jisung are quiet, laid back and leaning against each other on the right corner of the couch, watching the gaming trio’s round and exchanging whispers here and there, while Jisung nibbles on some pizza and Minho snacks on popcorn.

None of them know what’s to come.

Especially Seungmin. All he wants in that moment is to bring up an interesting topic to talk about.

“Hey,” Seungmin innocently starts – really, he has pure intentions – as he takes some popcorn from the bag in Minho’s lap, who is conveniently seated right next to him, “Who do you think has the best chemistry in our group of friends?”

Of course, he has already thought about it before.

The first obvious option: Minho and Jisung. The two call each other their soulmate, share a special (weird) kind of humour and interests, and spend most of their time together even though they have different majors in university and hobbies. Plus, whenever Jisung is feeling any type of negative emotion, he usually ends up going to Minho after he seeks comfort in everyone else. Jisung had explained once; the two rarely ever talk about whatever it is that bothers him, because somehow, he feels like Minho understands him without having to explain it.

All in all, Minho’s presence alone is like a battery charger for Jisung’s soul. Although the two seek each other out for any mood, really. Or more like, they naturally gravitate towards each other at all times – okay, not _all_ the time, since they do have periods where they spend little to no time together, but it usually never lasts long.

Technically Seungmin could write an entire essay about their dynamic – for his own sanity he will never do that. Look, as observant as Seungmin is, he only notices those things about Minho and Jisung because they’re simply hard to ignore. Nobody needs to be super observant for this one. And no, they’re not dating, even if that is often assumed.

It’s simply… chemistry.

Let’s move on before Seungmin gets a headache.

Next: Hyunjin and Jisung are also interesting because they had started off from going friendly to hating each other's guts (long story for another day) to now being unofficial best friends (but all eight of them are official best friends, mind you). They still fight sometimes but no matter the quarrel, they’re always fine and ready to have fun together. Changbin and Felix are fun to see together too since they’re both pretty blatant with their affection and Felix is, according to himself, a confident bisexual who has set his eyes on Changbin as his ideal type. Or the two Australians Chan and Felix, who share a deep bond as well, always wanting to make a good impression on the other.

Other options may be: Changbin and Hyunjin? Chan and Minho? Chan and Jeongin? Hyunjin and Jeongin? In general, Jeongin’s dynamic with all of them can be summarised like this: the youngest who has a similar authority to the oldest. A cutie who everyone – even strangers, probably – would kill for to protect. If Jeongin tells you to shut up, you shut up; If Jeongin tells you to stop fighting, you stop fighting – although it depends on how serious of a request it is.

Felix and Seungmin himself are interesting too. As roommates, they are together almost all the time and always know how to make the other happy – as mushy as it sounds. Not quite sure on who has the best chemistry but pretty sure it can’t be him paired with either Changbin or Minho. That… That is just unrealistic. And chaotic. (He loves his hyungs still.)

As you can see Seungmin has thought deeply about this. He has theories for each possible coupling. It’s not usually his topic of interest but surprisingly, he had fun thinking about it anyway.

Their group of eight, Seungmin cheesily admits in his mind, do have amazing chemistry together and he cherishes each of his friends.

Maybe the others will have similar opinions.

The gaming trio seems too focused on the videogame to pay attention, but the rest seem to at least think about it. With curiosity, Seungmin waits for their answers.

“Is this because of your theatre elective with Professor Choi this semester?” Chan asks as he leans back to look at the ceiling in thought. Seungmin hums positively.

Chan’s opinion will probably make the most sense; he’s great at keeping their big friend group going, knows each of them really well and is basically their unspoken leader. He not only brought them together but keeps them together. Also, he’s the one that recommended that theatre course to him as he had taken part in it the semester before.

Jeongin perks up at that, “Oh, right! You know, Seungmin hyung and I ended up as partners in that course because the professor thought our chemistry was so natural and easy going. All he did was bug me the whole time. What’s easy going about that?”

“Maybe she likes the push and pull. I actually thought she would partner me with Hyunjin…” Seungmin trails off, remembering. Him, Jeongin and Hyunjin all choose that theatre course as an elective extra this semester and since students of any major and any semester can be put together for electives like this, they thought it would be fun. Although the fun stopped for Hyunjin when he had to partner with some random girl, because Seungmin and Jeongin were partnered by their professor, leaving him alone. He’s probably still bitter about that.

Having heard his name, Hyunjin turns around, videogame forgotten, “Huh, are you talking about me?”

“The question is who has the best chemistry in our friend group,” Chan tells him as he adjusts to sit more comfortably, still in thought. Seems like he takes Seungmin’s question serious enough to put genuine thought into it, “Like, the ones who fit each other the most…?”

“Ohh,” Hyunjin grins, happily meeting eyes with Seungmin who automatically smiles back at the eagerness, “Seungmin and me!”

“That’s not what our theatre professor said thooough,” Jeongin sings and sticks out his tongue at the older on the floor. With a wide smile, he presses himself against Seungmin, who then throws an arm around his shoulders only to get pushed off again with a laugh.

“Push and pull…”, Seungmin sighed quietly, shaking his head fondly at the youngest.

Before Hyunjin’s pout can turn into a full lecture on why Seungmin and him have the best chemistry, Changbin puts the controller down as Felix cheers in victory. It seems Changbin has actually been listening but Hyunjin just forgot to pay attention, so it became Felix’s chance to win (although he would’ve won anyway, probably).

“I think it’s Jisung and Minho hyung,” Changbin comments over his shoulder, gesturing at the two in the corner of the L-shaped couch right behind him with a smirk, “The two are always together and have their eyes on each other. They even win all our games of charade if they’re in the same team because they know each other so well. By the way, I’m still for banning them from teaming up.”

The two in question look up in surprise at being addressed, their private bubble bursting, not really having paid much attention until then. In the corner Felix smiles warmly at the two of them, most likely agreeing with every statement in favour of the chemistry between Minho and Jisung.

“Woah, that’s actually a thought through answer. I didn’t expect that from you, Changbin hyung!” Seungmin gasps, acting more shocked than he is to tease and ignoring Changbin’s responding groan to turn to Minho and Jisung who hadn’t said anything yet, “So? What do you think?”

“They’re basically dating, the way they are. Just need to make it official,” Hyunjin adds with a nonchalant smirk to Changbin’s short explanation from his place on the floor, prettily resting his chin on his propped-up elbow on the corner of the couch, “They like each other so much that it’s annoying sometimes.”

Minho only smiles a little and shrugs, not complaining but neither agreeing nor disagreeing. Typical for him though as he does not seem to take the conversation seriously anyway. While Jisung’s frown and light blush indicate the opposite.

With Minho quiet, Jisung takes the cue to answer their friends, “Come on, it’s not like that at all. It’s not that I like Minho hyung. It’s not that serious, I just play with him. He’s entertaining, that’s all.” Jisung’s voice a little too humourless for the conversation. As if wanting to show that he means his words, he moves away from Minho a little and sits up straight. Seungmin sees Minho glance at the space between them and then at Jisung with a momentary pout, before looking down at his bag of popcorn again as if to hide that he did not like Jisung’s response.

Indeed, Minho looks a little… hurt?

 _Oh my_ , Seungmin blinks at the sudden feeling of protectiveness washing over him – and for Minho of all people too. He turns his eyes to Jisung, looking over Minho between them, and raises a brow at his for-some-reason-offended tone, “Play with him? What are you? Five? Calm down.”

Hyunjin scoffs and moves his hands vaguely like they help the explanation, “Jisung, you guys are always off in your own world. Third wheeling anyone is bad, but third wheeling you two is _terrible_. Of course, you like him. You even call him your soulmate.”

Distracting himself by throwing popcorn into the air and catching them in his mouth, Minho does not seem to particularly care about taking part in the on-going conversation at all anymore. He simply chuckles quietly at Hyunjin’s words and arguments, but it seems rather forced.

In the end Minho stops playing and his eyes stay on the bag of popcorn in his lap.

Unlike Hyunjin, Seungmin is not so sure about Jisung’s feelings and finds that whatever Jisung feels for whoever is, in the end, his own business. Same for everyone else.

Admittedly he does agree with Hyunjin’s other statements (like their natural chemistry and the third-wheeling thing, it can be seriously bad sometimes with Minho and Jisung and they don’t even do it on purpose), but they have no hard facts whether Jisung and Minho actually like each other in a romantic way or are just, well, platonically like that.

While Seungmin could logically believe either to be possible, he’s never been the type to care enough about romance to make assumptions.

Sensing an upcoming escalation of things, Seungmin chances a glance at Chan, hoping he would intervene, but the other is only frowning thoughtfully at the scene as he lets the conversation further unfold.

Jisung on the other hand seems more and more offended the longer it goes on, eyebrows furrowed and arms crossed on his chest, “I don’t agree. None of that has to mean anything serious like that. Minho hyung and I are never serious about anything. You make no sense, Hyunjin!”

“That’s all? No actual arguments or evidence to support your case?” Hyunjin raises a brow at him, mocking a microphone by reaching his arm out towards Jisung on the couch.

Glowering, Jisung keeps quiet.

It makes Hyunjin scoff again and drop his arm, both boys genuinely annoyed by the other at this point, “Just admit it, Han Jisung. I’ll give you the top spot for best chemistry with Minho hyung, everyone here and in the world will agree.”

Jisung narrows his eyes at the other, “Don’t be fucking weird. I have nothing to admit, Hwang Hyunjin. Maybe you do? You must be projecting.”

“Unlike you, I can confess my feelings right here right now. _If you_ stop being in denial about Minho hyung.”

“I am _not_ in denial about Minho hyung!”

“Lying to yourself isn’t healthy.”

“I’m not lying to myself!”

It turns into a silent glaring contest, while the rest watches on edge.

In that moment Minho warily inches further away from Jisung, widening the distance that was opened by Jisung before, and coming closer to Seungmin instead. If Jisung notices he doesn’t show it.

Felix and Jeongin are looking on in obvious worry at the seemingly sudden escalation of everything. It’s not the first time Jisung and Hyunjin ‘discuss’… The Minho And Jisung Thing… but it’s the first time they do it in front of Minho, _and_ in such a heated manner.

Sure, they all make jokes about literally any of them liking or dating each other all the time, but this isn’t how it looks like when it’s a joke.

Whatever Jisung feels might be his own business, but that doesn’t mean Seungmin won’t want to protect his friends from getting hurt. So right now, Seungmin just wants to protect Minho, who seems so visibly uncomfortable at being the topic of the argument that he unconsciously seeks comfort in Seungmin’s presence by softly pressing his arm against his. This is (very) unusual of him so the more it worries Seungmin.

They have to shut up – Hyunjin and Jisung.

Suddenly Seungmin and Chan move at the same time to interrupt whatever tension is rising between Jisung and Hyunjin, but before either of them can say anything, it’s Changbin trying to dispel the tense air instead.

Always as shocking and revolting as the first time, he speaks – more like sings – in his cutesy voice as he puts on all his charms, fluttering his lashes at everyone from his seat on the floor, “Hey, you know what, _all_ of us have great chemistry, we wouldn’t be such good friends otherwise. I like, no, I _love_ all of you. If any of you try to escape my love, you’ll be in trouble!”

Awkward silence.

“Now… give me some hugs!” Clinging onto Minho’s knee and shaking it in a weird attempt to hug has Minho spluttering at the surprise, making a motion to hit Changbin.

Last minute Minho decides otherwise and pets Changbin’s hair instead, showing his amusement and that he’s grateful after all.

Thankfully, Changbin’s antics make everyone cringe and snap out of the tension before bursting into laughter. He even gets a few couch pillows thrown his way. Changbin just laughs even harder at that. The comfortable atmosphere comes back again just like that.

And Jeongin, who has been looking constipated half-way through the conversation, looks the most relieved for some reason.

But Seungmin does not miss the way Chan keeps a watchful gaze on Minho and Jisung, the way Changbin’s eyes keep lingering on Minho and the way Jisung and Minho can’t look into each other’s eyes for more than a second for the rest of the night, avoidant. Jisung still seems bothered. Hyunjin on the other hand seems carefree as if he forgot about the tension before already despite actively being part of the cause.

Throughout the rest of the night Changbin seems to try extra hard at making Minho laugh (even if at his own expense, as usual). At some point Minho joins Changbin on the floor to goof off.

Sometime later, when the two end up sharing a blanket through the movie they put on and a sleepy Felix is sprawled across their laps, Jisung keeps stealing glances at them.

A sulking Jisung has wiggled himself between Seungmin and Hyunjin on the couch, demanded they share their blanket with him. Not that Seungmin minds (Hyunjin does).

It’s obvious that Jisung doesn’t even pay attention to the movie. At least not as much as he does to the way Minho and Changbin whisper and laugh quietly between scenes, while Felix gets gentle pets from both like an overgrown cat. Admittedly Seungmin himself can’t pay proper attention to the movie with Jisung shifting the whole time to ‘secretly’ get proper looks at the boys on the floor.

The situation has been causing Hyunjin and Seungmin to exchange meaningful glances above Jisung’s head between them. Until at some point Hyunjin seems fed up with it. He quietly tells Jisung to just join Minho, Changbin and Felix on the floor instead of “staring like a bitter toddler”. Quietly, because the rest of their friends are actually watching the movie.

The response is ironically loud. Jisung startles and ends up yelling at Hyunjin to stop being so loud since they’re watching a movie. Great.

Chan sighs, tired but not surprised, while Jeongin and Felix give Hyunjin and Jisung both a look of disapproval. Changbin and Minho barely spare them a glance before whispering and quietly laughing again, maybe even about them. All in all, they all care more about the movie than their spat.

On the other hand, poor offended Hyunjin switches between shocked blinking at Jisung and looking at Seungmin as if to ask ‘Do you witness this bullshit?’ – Seungmin only shrugs as a response.

Funny enough it (somehow?) works out, Jisung turns his glare one last time to Minho, Changbin and Felix – no, he hasn’t looked at Felix, really, has he? – before resolutely staring at the TV. Although they all cuddle with each other all the time, Seungmin feels like what bothers Jisung the most right now is proximity between Minho and Changbin, the two cuddling. What bothers him about Minho’s head on Changbin’s shoulder, after that whole fiasco from before anyway? But it’s fine now, everyone’s watching the movie – more or less.

Everything is back to normal, kind of, but not, at the same time.

Seungmin is nothing, if not observant. Something smells really foul here. There’s been a shift in the air surrounding them; he just doesn’t know what that means yet.

Later when everyone gets ready to leave and help Felix and Seungmin clean up their apartment a little, Seungmin bumps into Chan in the kitchen doorway.

They both apologise at the same time. Seungmin was going to continue speeding out to clean up more so he can go to sleep faster but stops himself. All night he has been curious about what Chan had been thinking about and so, he asks him.

“I was thinking about your question and accidently ended up in a rabbit hole of theories,” Chan chuckles in response, sheepishly rubbing his neck with both hands, “Why? You look worried.”

“Oh,” Seungmin nods thoughtfully, “You see, I think something changed but I don’t know what for sure. I think it’s my fault… my question made Hyunjin and Jisung fight after all…” Without realising, Seungmin sports his trademark puppy eyes.

Chan just chuckles again, a little softer this time and it sounds all-knowing in that moment. “It’s not your fault at all. And if we think of the same thing, then that change was long overdue anyway. It’ll sort itself out, don’t worry about it.” With that he pats his shoulder and leaves him standing there after he takes a paper roll from the kitchen.

Long overdue? What was?

Guess Seungmin will just have to trust Chan’s words on this.

Sure, the night had taken a weird course, but it ended up comfortable again, right? No way whatever this was would end up an actual bother in the long run.

Seungmin shakes his head.

Something just feels off.

Before Seungmin can walk back to the living room where all the others are, he hears quiet shuffling and whispering in the hallway. Not usually one for snooping around, he still instinctively takes a step back into the kitchen. The narrow hallway’s lights are off, the way only illuminated by the lights from the doorway to the kitchen where Seungmin is and the living room on the other side further down the hallway.

Jisung can be heard grumbling loudly, “What did you pull me here for, hyung?”

“Shh, not so loud,” Minho shushes Jisung, voice quiet, “I just wanna know why you keep glaring at me. At least let me know if I did something. You had your eyes glued to me the entire night, Jisung. Changbin even–”

“Of course. Changbin hyung,” Jisung groans. Seungmin can imagine he has to hold himself back from yelling by the annoyed tone. “What? He doesn’t like me looking at you?”

“No. What the hell, Changbin was just worried about you and asked me to talk to you,” Minho sounds pissed off at first but continues in a gentle tone, “What’s up with you? Is something wrong?”

A long, defeated sigh by Jisung. “No… It’s nothing. Honestly I don’t even know. Sorry for that.”

A hum. Minho’s voice becomes quieter, “Look at me, Jisungie.”

In the following silence, Seungmin sneaks a careful curious glance into the hallway.

In the barely illuminated hallway, Seungmin can only properly see their side profiles thanks to the light streaming from the living room down the hall. Jisung is leaning against the wall, a foot propped up on it behind him, arms crossed and frowning at the ground between them. Minho stands close in front of him, not blocking his way but the tension seems high enough to keep both of them locked in place.

When Jisung still refuses to look up, Minho reaches out to put his hand on Jisung’s cheek, probably to turn his face to him, but suddenly, before his hand can make contact – as if realising something – he lets his hand fall away and takes a step back, suddenly alert and closed off.

That’s what makes Jisung finally look up at him. “What?” Jisung asks quietly, confused by the sudden distance, their eyes meeting.

Jisung tilts his head at the older.

Then, stepping away from the wall and closing the new distance to stand closer to Minho again, Jisung smirks at him with a raised brow and teasing undertone, “Hyung, if you look at me like that, it’s no wonder people keep misunderstanding, you know.”

Seungmin turns back to hide away in the kitchen and leans against the wall, the atmosphere between the two too intense to keep watching; also Jisung’s cockiness is annoying to see.

Seungmin feels like he should leave, but to leave he has to go through the hallway, and he can’t just take the hallway because Minho and Jisung are there and Seungmin does not want to interrupt them but he doesn’t want to keep (involuntarily) listening either.

It feels like he’s intruding on whatever goes on between them.

“I almost got a little too serious here. My bad,” Minho says, voice flat and void of the worry from before and the apology insincere. Then a sarcastic chuckle that sounds just as fake and flat, “Aren’t we funny.” It’s not a question.

With a weak laugh, Jisung whines quietly, clearly bothered by Minho’s sudden coldness, “Hyung, that means you understood me, right? Hyunjin said some stupid things. It’s so annoying when– Ah.”

A pause. And then a sigh quiet enough that Seungmin almost misses it, “There he goes…”

Sounds like Minho has left first.

By the doorway in the kitchen, leaning against the wall, Seungmin decides to wait for Jisung to leave as well before he wants to go out into the hallway and back to the living room like he originally planned to do. That conversation, not really extraordinary but somehow heavy with tension, wasn’t meant for his ears and he feels a little guilty for having eavesdropped, but he can’t change that now – it was either interrupt them or wait it out so here he is.

Just wait it out and then leave the kitchen–

“Oh, you were here?”

Seungmin startles a little. He turns his head to a surprised and mildly upset-looking Jisung who has just appeared in the doorway. Blinking, Seungmin nods and moves to stand properly. When Jisung is in a bad mood – specifically: genuinely pissed off – it’s no good to talk to him.

So Seungmin is about to sidestep him and make an inconspicuous run for the living room when Jisung stops him by a hand on his shoulder, eyes narrowing. Under the scrutinising eyes of the other, Seungmin rolls his own, “What?”

“Eavesdropping isn’t like you, Seungminnie,” Jisung laughs – there’s an annoyed undertone to it – and turns fully to him, letting his hand drop back down to his side, “You wanted an exclusive scoop on our dating scandal or something?”

“That’s what you said not me,” Seungmin clarifies immediately, not even wanting to go there.

Jisung grins and yet clearly not in the best mood. With a nod he goes over to the cupboards, “If not me, then Hyunjin would’ve. Or Felix. Maybe Changbin hyung. Gotta get the upper hand with the funny one-liners, you know.”

Seungmin ignores the bait to bicker with the other. He watches Jisung investigate the cupboards, probably in search of his favourite cookies. The ones he always eats whenever he has had a bad time and shows up at Seungmin’s and Felix’s doorstep for comfort.

There’s a loud sigh when Jisung realises there are no cookies left, probably all eaten tonight for their get-together, and he wipes an imaginary tear away. “Everything is suddenly annoying me. A cookie would have been nice before leaving. Goodbye, my friend.” With an accepting tight-lipped smile Jisung turns around and waves Seungmin a dramatic goodbye as he leaves the kitchen.

Once he’s alone Seungmin leans against one of the counters with his arms, looks down at it in thought and sighs in relief of the tension.

It’s been such a weird night.

He wants to solely blame Hyunjin and Jisung, but Seungmin feels guilty for accidently having put out the groundwork for this weird development by a simple question about their friend group’s chemistry.

Now, their collective dynamic feels a tad off.

It should be fine. Chan said to leave it be.

Lost in thought, Seungmin thinks he should check up on Minho later. Or maybe he’ll leave that to his hyung’s roommates. Chan will probably–

Suddenly arms wrap around Seungmin’s waist from behind in a warm embrace and startle him out of his thoughts to look at the culprit: Hyunjin, now leaning his chin on his shoulder with a smile. Realising who it is, Seungmin automatically puts his hands on the arms around him and leans back into Hyunjin’s embrace.

Hyunjin’s smile widens when Seungmin properly looks at him, faces close, “Hey, Seungminnie. Chan hyung’s gonna drive Jeongin and Jisung to their dorm now. Changbin hyung and Minho hyung will probably leave a little later since they’re still helping Felix clean up.”

That’s often how it is if they’re not doing a sleepover.

The apartment shared by Chan, Changbin, Minho and Hyunjin is on the same street as Felix’s and Seungmin’s apartment, while the dorms, where Jeongin and Jisung live, are located further away and closer to campus. Seungmin thanks him for letting him know, averting his eyes again.

Hyunjin nuzzles closer, smile turning into a pout, “By the way, because of Jisung, I didn’t get to cuddle you today. Mind letting me sleep over and cuddle with you?”

“Sure,” he shrugs, mind wandering off again as he looks back down on the counter as if it holds the answers to his questions.

There’s something miniscule but vital that Seungmin is missing here to understand what’s changed and what that change means.

Whatever. Sleep it off and forget it.

* * *

The next morning, after going through the events of last night through his head like a long flashback – 7:19 o’clock after six hours of sleep, at the kitchen table with Felix, eating breakfast – is when Seungmin realises that whatever happened last night must be major in some way. He just can’t put it together.

“Why do you look like you’re holding in a bad fart?”

Seungmin snaps out of his horrified stare at the wall as he looks at Felix. In all his sleepy morning glory, Felix gives him a questioning look. They’re both already dressed properly but Felix hasn’t taken care of his hair yet; blond hair sticking up in a fluffy mess.

Quickly going through the possible consequences of confiding in Felix about this matter, he ends up deciding to consult his blond friend. “I think last night changed something for us,” Seungmin admits in a grave tone, “But I have no idea what’s going on.”

The words vague enough that Felix tenses up a little, his sleepy eyes widening a fraction as he pushes his chair closer to the table to lean his body closer to Seungmin who sits opposite him. Seungmin wants to tell him that he doesn’t have to do that since it’s just the two of them. It’s not like Seungmin’s going to whisper the issue and Hyunjin is still asleep in his bed anyway – lucky bastard.

But that’s not important right now.

He takes a deep breath.

“Because of my question about our chemistry, everything escalated. Jisung and Hyunjin had that fight, right? We joke all the time about one of us crushing on the other or something, but that was the first time it escalated so quickly _and_ into something kind of serious. Everyone seemed so weird after that even though we all got comfortable again. Technically. But not really, you know? Hyunjin brushed it off pretty easily, but Minho hyung and Jisung… Minho hyung looked hurt by it and Jisung stayed bitter for the rest of the night – I accidently overheard them talking and, I mean, nothing unusual was said but something about it felt meaningful. After that Jisung even looked for his favourite cookies – you know what that means, Felix! Ugh… at least Changbin hyung made sure to cheer Minho hyung up… although Jisung didn’t seem to like the sight of it? Maybe you noticed. Changbin hyung must have had a feeling of protectiveness too, like me. Weird, right? We felt like we had to protect Minho hyung of all people. That’s… Hey, don’t you think something has become super weird after that whole fiasco about my stupid chemistry question? I’m… I guess, I’m just worried, Felix.”

Wow. That came close one of Changbin’s high speed raps.

Seungmin catches his breath and looks up at Felix.

There is silence.

Felix blinks a couple times, processing the word vomit Seungmin just unleashed on him. He brushes a hand through his blond hair. To be fair, it has been about four years since Felix arrived in Korea from Australia, so his brain is probably trying to catch up with translating everything – it’s the bilingual way of life. Felix’s Korean is pretty fluent (he even uses bigger words than the rest of them do), but still, Seungmin should have spoken a little slower. A little less.

Wanting to say something and then deciding against it, Felix opens his mouth and closes it multiple times.

Finally, he clears his throat.

“Look…” Felix carefully starts, wringing his hands in front of him as he’s trying to get his thoughts in order and out his mouth, “I don’t think anything much will change… and, uh, if it does, I mean, uh… maybe it’s time for something to happen to give the final push to set, uh, _things_ into motion? Like… not a lot will change. Probably.” Felix pauses, then corrects himself, “Well, maybe for the better – if luck is with us… _but_ I don’t think you have to worry too much, Seungminnie. I mean, Minho hyung is strong. Physically and mentally, too. He’ll be fine. And if need be, we’ll take care of him like he always cares for us, too. Jisung and Hyunjin are like, I dunno, best frenemies or something. And simple minded enough about their petty fights that they’re both probably over it already.”

Throughout the speech, Seungmin has been nodding his head. Still does so, when he says, “I guess you’re right. I don’t know, I think I accidently went into overthinking-mode with this whole thing.” He gently slaps his own cheeks a few times. “Thanks, ‘Lix.”

They exchange warm smiles.

Felix is relieved to have cheered up his friend, nodding to himself and mentally patting his own shoulder. He is glad that Seungmin feels better now and proud to have handled it so well. But since they’re already here, he might as well add his own two cents on the matter.

“Personally,” Felix says, putting a hand on his chest with a lot of feeling, all gentleness from before gone and ready to go all out on the topic, “I think Jisungie was just a little sensitive yesterday, but you know he’s easy to rile up anyway. Unfortunately, I think he will still be in denial about his feelings for a while. But he needs to get his shit together,” He clenches the hand on his chest into a fist and with the other he wipes away an imaginary tear, meaning every word, “Our squad’s sweet designated heartthrob Minho hyung deserves a cute love story! Not only is he good flirt, he’s sweet and fun too. And just the way he _looks_ at Jisung… Wow. I am kind of surprised Jisung hasn’t gotten the message that Minho hyung likes him too yet. How oblivious can one be?”

Seungmin frowns as he leans back in his seat, the slowly fading worry turning into judgement at his friend’s choice of words – Squad? Designated heartthrob? Come on.

Whatever. “Well, Minho hyung flirts with all of us. For fun. It’s probably like a reflex for him at this point. I don’t know about Jisung’s denial but if I were Jisung I wouldn’t notice anything either. Did Minho hyung tell you that he likes Jisung that way or why did you bring it up?”

You see… Lee Minho: if you are not close with him, he looks like the unapproachable type because of his intimidating aura and handsome visuals. But if you start talking to him, he’s actually soft-spoken, friendly and even a little shy! And _then_ if you get closer to him, he’ll often be confident, flirty and sassy. But don’t be fooled by that too much; at heart he is still sweet, soft and kind of timid. If you successfully make it into his heart, he’s the type to care about you a lot, though quietly if he can help it. A bit of tsundere – avid anime fans, like their group of friends would use as a descriptor. Someone with great duality. Also, Minho is the only one of their so-called tsundere-line (apparently: Minho, Seungmin, Jeongin) accepting the title for himself.

“No, he didn’t tell me outright… He’s different with Jisung! _It’s all in the details,_ _mate_.”

“Well, whether Minho hyung likes Jisung or not, I don’t know. I never know what’s going on in Minho hyung’s head and I don’t want to try finding out, so whatever. I just don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

“It’ll be fine,” Felix says, waving his hands as if he could wave away Seungmin’s worries, “If Jisung ends up rejecting Minho hyung, I’m still available. We get along great and he treats me well. I wouldn’t say no to dating Minho hyung.”

“Hyung might say no to dating you though… although now that you say it, he does have a soft spot for you,” Seungmin narrows his eyes at memories about special treatment and thinks he has had enough realisations for today.

Minho really is sweet to Felix, barely ever even roasts him – barely doesn’t mean never, but when it happens, it’s pretty mild compared to what the rest of them get. They go to dog and cat cafés together at least once in a while and Felix sleeps over at Minho’s apartment (shared with Chan, Changbin and Hyunjin) frequently as well. They go to the same dance studio after classes with Hyunjin and last semester they had joined the archery club together with Hyunjin as well. Well, Hyunjin makes it a trio, but Minho doesn’t treat Hyunjin like Felix.

Once, Hyunjin had told Seungmin that it’s like this: Hyunjin is Minho’s prey most of the time while Felix is like a pet cat all the time. When Seungmin had asked what exactly he meant by that, Hyunjin just let out a long-suffering sigh and shook his head.

Either way, now that he thinks about it, it’s not that special; considering it is _Felix_. Their Yongbok. Everyone is sweet to Felix. Have you met him?

“Yup!” Felix dreamily smiles, resting his chin on his palms propped on the table, “But I think Jisung and Minho hyung are cute together. You know, with their whole soulmate thing.” Then his smile drops. “ _Jisung better get his shit together_ ,” his naturally deep voice emphasises in English, which must mean business – especially paired with that glint in his eyes.

“You seem… unnecessarily passionate about their love life.”

“I am. Necessarily.”

Seungmin slowly nods, simply accepting Felix’s antics. At least he feels lighter after sharing his worries with Felix. Now that he talked things through with Felix, he wonders why he even worried so much in the first place. Everything’s fine!

When Felix slides out of his seat to put away the dirty dishes as they’re both done with their breakfast a few minutes later, Felix asks, “Aren’t you similar when it comes to Hyunjin though?”

As if on cue, Seungmin feels warm arms wrap around his shoulders from behind and a chin gently put on his head, “Seungminnie, you could’ve woken me up, you know? Were you gonna leave without a goodbye?” And Seungmin _hears_ the pout in Hyunjin’s voice.

Before he can respond to Hyunjin, he accidently meets Felix’s eyes again as he turns back around from the dishwasher. He has his arms crossed and his eyebrows raised in a _See what I mean?_ kind of way but Seungmin doesn’t see what he means so he just blinks back in confusion.

Felix rolls his eyes and sighs loudly, “Just get ready, we gotta leave in 10. Chan hyung texted that he wants to leave a little earlier today.”

Seungmin nods. “Sure.”

“Once I get my driver’s license and a car, I can drive you around too,” Hyunjin loosens his gentle wrap on his shoulders to properly look at Seungmin with a sleepy grin and hair still messy.

“That would be a waste of gas. Why would we need two drivers when we have Chan hyung already? He already does the job.”

Felix groans loudly in the hallway. Hyunjin sighs, “Right, right.”

* * *

Free time for lunch is always beautiful – sitting down in the cafeteria with friends, catching up, filling empty stomachs, and taking a break from classes before the next one starts.

“Let’s agree to never have our MG events on Sundays ever again,” Chan groans as he sits down with Changbin and Minho at their usual lunch table, “I hate morning classes. Every semester I get morning classes on Mondays…” So far, poor Chan is in his fourth semester and consecutively had Monday morning classes in every one of them.

“Jeongin wanted to meet up yesterday so badly. Poor first semester kid needed it. You could’ve stopped us though, so that one’s on you,” Changbin says as he puts on one of his earphones for music and starts to eat his lunch.

Chan feels kind of offended at the logic but vaguely agrees with the statement anyway.

“At least our free time between classes matches up this semester again so we can have lunch together,” Minho steals a cooked veggie from Changbin’s plate, earning a food-muffled _hey!_ , “We can suffer together on three out of five days in the week!” He cheers happily, his friends unsure whether the cute act is on purpose or not.

As mentioned, Chan in his fourth semester, while Changbin and Minho are in their third. Third semester Changbin majors in music production with a minor in finance – shocking, yes, but he is a bit of math genius and his parents like him there. Chan, together with second semester Jisung, majors in music production as well. All three of them love and produce their own music. They even created their own unit to work together: 3RACHA. Chan is also part of the university’s swimming club and has a part-time job at a local radio station. In other words: Chan is a busy man.

(Hyunjin used to be part of the swimming club, too, but ditched Chan for dance – no, Chan is not mad.)

“Our professor brought a cat to class today! It was amazing. Let me show you some photos and videos I took, hold on,” grinning bright, Minho pulls his smartphone out of his blue jean jacket pocket in barely contained excitement.

Chan sees Changbin’s inner battle with himself in his expression: lips quirking up and assessing Minho, Changbin isn’t sure whether he wants to coo at his friend or bully him.

Ah, he settles for middle ground. “Aww, you two are so cute, hyung!” he trails off with a smile, looking at the selfie Minho took together with the cat, before he turns his face to Minho with a playfully grim expression, “… cheating on Soonie, Doongie and Dori.”

Genuinely scandalised, Minho widens his eyes, “Huh?! I would never, you fiend!”

As the two bicker among themselves, Chan takes Minho’s phone to look at the photos he took of the mentioned cat and Minho, satisfied with at least one of his friends, lets him. He trusts Chan with his smartphone and honestly? Probably with his life (but not when it comes to winning bets and games).

Majoring in zoology, Minho enjoys his university life in his third semester. He loves animals and animals love him. Additionally, he is also a passionate member of the dance studio near campus, where he has a job as an assistant instructor. He’s usually found with Hyunjin and Felix. They’re well known in the archery club as well, although the three recently quit that one. Minho has quite some work on his plate and he may complain sometimes but ultimately loves what he does.

A text message pops up. “Hey, Minho, Jisung just send multiple crying emojis and says sorry, please forgive him in all caps. He asks if you wanna please go get coffee after classes with him. He used… a clown emoji? Uh, yeah…”

Looking up, Minho lets go of his chokehold on Changbin next to him. The younger breathes in relief, cheeks red like the tomatoes on his plate as he massages his abused neck and fixes his messed-up hair.

“Tell him no,” Minho simply says as he digs back into his food.

“Anything else?”

“No.”

Changbin and Chan both look at him with mild surprise for the cold response, wondering what Jisung has done but Chan chooses not to ask nor spy on the rest of the chat as he responds to Jisung in the notification bar without opening the chat. The three are silent as Chan types Minho’s response to Jisung. Changbin glances between his friends before settling on Minho, gaze highkey questioning.

A few minutes pass, Minho’s phone back on the table. Changbin keeps his imploring stare on Minho and moves a little closer.

Chan gives it a second.

Suddenly Minho puts down his chopsticks to glare at Changbin, “Okay, look. It’s not a big deal. This morning I texted Jisung if he’s still up for iced americano after classes today like we agreed to _on Friday_. He cancelled on me, so now I have plans with Hyunjin and Felix, and I’m not cancelling on them.”

Changbin looks a little triumphant that he got Minho to talk but suppresses his grin to listen to him seriously, “Why did Jisung change his mind? Dude went from yes to no to yes.”

Picking up his chopsticks again Minho scoffs, still glaring but the fire hasn’t really been directed at Changbin in the first place, “He said no, because apparently I’m ‘too clingy’ and he ‘wants some space’.”

Minho frowns down at his plate, his bottom lip jutting out in a pout. Looking so small like that, Chan and Changbin find themselves pouting with him. Minho’s voice becomes so quiet he almost mumbles the next part, “I didn’t really know how to react to that, so I just send an okay. Now he’s sorry apparently. He really is a clown. He should use that emoji in every message to remind everyone he texts with.” He roughly stuffs some food in his mouth with a frown. “Fucking clown.”

“Hm,” Chan says after a moment and nods in understanding, “Fair enough, I understand you.”

“Yeah, but why did he call you clingy?” Changbin tilts his head, glancing at Chan before looking at Minho, “It was never a problem, you guys hang out all the time. If anything, all of us are kinda clingy with each other in some way, which isn’t bad. I think.”

Minho shrugs and his calm and confident demeanour slowly comes back. He genuinely does not seem that bothered over it anymore, but who knows (Chan knows).

“It isn’t. Hyunjin and Felix wanted me to go to the convenience store with them before dance practice anyway. Jisung can have his space.” He focuses back on finishing his lunch and takes his phone back to look at the time, “Shit, I gotta go. I got a laboratory course in 10 minutes on the other end of campus and the prof doesn’t let anyone late in.” With that Minho shovels the rest of his food down and then picks up his tray to put away, rushing for his next class. “See you at home!”

“Hyung,” Changbin addresses Chan, sounding distant and thoughtful as he watches Minho almost stumble when he exits the cafeteria, “Is this because of last night?”

“Probably.”

Changbin hums in response, still looking at the exit of the cafeteria where Minho disappeared through, “I know we always joke about Jisung and Minho liking each other but…” He sighs and averts his eyes from the exit to meet Chan’s confused expression, only to look down at his plate with a pout, “Whatever. It’ll be fine as always.”

Chan nods, a little unsure. They resume eating and chatting about other things.

Everyone seems to have become a little weird since last night, so he lets it slide for now. It’s weird enough that the Han Jisung has explicitly called the Lee Minho of all people clingy and asked for space. That has never happened before.

Chan frowns at his plate.

He hadn’t lied to Seungmin last night. He genuinely thinks whatever is going on right now, will pass soon enough. But he does notice a few things that might make it a little more complex. Either way, it’s long overdue that the… romantic tension… in their group bursts and will finally, hopefully, be taken care of. Chan is pretty confident in their friendship as eight, so whatever happens shall happen.

They finish their lunch and when they meet Jisung later in the hallway and he immediately asks whether Minho is mad at him, they say no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#1 P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Kim Seungmin  
>  **Birthday:** 22\. September, 2000  
>  **Occupation:** Law Major/English Minor (2nd Semester)  
>  **Hobbies:** Photography, Singing, Listening to music  
>  **Other (1) :** Felix’s roommate, good at accidental observation, diligent and studious, fanboy of DAY6 and his friend Jeongin
> 
> * * *
> 
> this is only the intro of this slow burn story but let me know your thoughts in the comments!  
> i'd love to hear what you think no matter what. it's very motivating! ☆
> 
> stream [God's Menu MV](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQTlCHxyuu8) and [Easy MV](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZSv3aMGg5Q) on youtube and support Stray Kids! ♥


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sure, all eight of them are really great friends and are you really best friends with someone if people don’t assume you’re dating sometimes?

It’s 17:00 on the dot when Jeongin finally arrives at his dorm. A long tiring day of being a typical nervous first semester kid behind him. Straight out of Busan, everything is still new and feels a little uncoordinated. It’s also new, but not unwelcome, to see at least one of seven of his favourite hyungs (don’t tell them) every day. Despite said hyungs having given him a campus tour two times, Jeongin still easily gets lost on his way between classes and his dorm. Thankfully he made a few friends to walk to classes together now. Currently he is a first semester studying educational science. So far, all he got the past few weeks since the beginning of classes were hordes of reading assignments.

There is so much to do…

Jeongin puts his key into the door of his dorm room, turns it and pushes it open.

Obviously, the first thing he looks forward to doing is to just lay down in bed today, chill and catch up with his recent favourite k-drama.

But life is never that easy for Yang Jeongin.

“Why are you on my bed?”

Han Jisung. Jeongin’s roommate (a fortunate and unfortunate fact at the same time depending on the circumstances), right now his personal nuisance, is laying on _his_ bed, holding _his_ eevee plushie and from the looks of it snacked on a big bit of _his_ hidden chocolate bar: the gruesome evidence left behind on his night stand.

“You’re finally home! Give me a kiss, come–”

“Absolutely not!”

Jeongin leaves (throws) his backpack at the foot of his bed and cringes away. He takes off running in the limited space of their two-student dorm room as soon as he sees Jisung get up to chase him.

The reason why him, first semester educational science major Yang Jeongin, is roommates with second semester music production major Han Jisung is because they’ve been friends since before university (Thank you, Chan hyung!) and Jisung, whose family still lives in Malaysia, was happy to see his old roommate – an obnoxious punk rocker who Jisung never liked but kind of got the appeal of anarchy from – leave the dorms to have Jeongin join him instead. Jisung and Jeongin had both requested each other to room with when Jeongin enrolled.

These days Jeongin often comes to the conclusion that he kind of regrets his initial ideas a lot (not really _much_ , but don’t tell anyone that part).

“Didn’t you tell me on Friday that you’d be gone with Minho hyung after classes today? After coffee, you usually go with him to the dance studio to watch. Why are you here so early?” Jeongin loudly groans in annoyance as Jisung finally catches him and wraps his arms around him from behind. Jeongin squirms in the hold but ultimately lets the older hold him.

“He cancelled,” Jisung’s mumble is sad and resigned, chin dropping on Jeongin’s shoulder. That doesn’t sound right.

“Minho hyung never just cancels on you. Did something happen or… what did you do?” Jeongin asks, sounding like a mother knowing their child did something stupid and just waiting for them to admit it. Which would fit, to be honest, just that they’re friends instead and Jeongin’s the younger one here.

“I cancelled first?”

Frowning at the unsure answer, Jeongin finally squirms out of Jisung’s hold and turns around to narrow his eyes at the older boy.

It doesn’t even take three seconds to break Jisung.

“Fine!” Jisung throws his hands up in the air before throwing himself on his own bed this time, “I called Minho hyung clingy, told him I wanted space! It’s not like I’m wrong though! We do spend way too much time together, right? But I apologised.”

The raven-haired younger gasps personally offended by what Jisung had done to their hyung. Especially because it’s probably for an incredibly dumb reason too.

Frankly Jeongin has known about Jisung’s crush for as long as they’ve both known Minho. Looking back, it all kind of felt like fateful love at first sight… Not Jeongin’s words, but Jisung’s. Although Jisung added an obnoxious _No Homo Bro_ when he had told Jeongin (and Seungmin) that. Oh, Han Jisung, ever the romantic who acts like he is blind to his own damn romance. But the story of their first meeting is for another time. Jeongin has other matters to attend to.

“So? You guys are fighting now or something?” Jeongin asks. Perhaps because of last night’s fight between Jisung and Hyunjin? Minho had been the topic after all.

Jisung shrugs, hugging his pillow and pouting to himself, “I didn’t see him around campus, so I asked Chan hyung and Changbin hyung, but they both said no, Minho hyung isn’t angry.” He glares at a random spot in their room, “Apparently he already made plans with Hyunjin and Felix and that’s why he said no when I asked again. I’ve been replaced in seconds, Jeongin! _Seconds!_ ”

The younger crossed his arms on his chest, “ _You_ cancelled on him first and called him clingy. Knowing Minho hyung, he probably just shrugged it off and ended up using the newly free time for Felix hyung and Hyunjin hyung. You know he doesn’t like drama.”

“Not sure if that makes me feel better,” Jisung says, thoughtful, “Let’s be real, he already spends enough time with them…”

“Ugh!” Jeongin groans in frustration at his oblivious friend, “You just said he spends too much time with _you_. And then _you_ cancelled on him, I feel like you have no right to talk. Sorry hyung, those are the facts.” He had thought Jisung would finally be on his way to realise his feelings after last night’s conversation on their MG event; considering his bad mood, jealousy, and fixed stare on Minho afterwards. Yes, Jeongin had been cringing at the way Jisung handled the conversation, definitely caught off guard, but Jeongin had hope.

Now that he sits down next to a sulking Jisung, he knows better though.

Of course, Jisung continues his parade of denial.

In all honesty, Jeongin thinks, once Jisung gets out of the denial phase he’ll probably be all over Minho to woo him, win him over, pursue him, whatever you want to call it. Technically Jisung already is like that on most days – back in the beginning stages of Jisung’s and Minho’s friendship it had actually been the standard: Jisung openly ~~flirting~~ showing Minho all his affection, throwing cheesy but honest words at his head and being his biggest hype man. Nowadays, while still true, it’s more subdued.

If anyone calls Jisung out on what he has going on with Minho, Jisung usually brushes it off with a joke, gets a little awkward or worse, depending on how you say it, will be offended. Though, the offended option is a rather rare reaction. But it did happen last night and even escalated a little, which is why they’re here now. It also never happened in front of Minho. Such a loud discussion about ‘what they are (not)’.

Either way, it’s not like Jisung’s affections are unrequited. At least that’s Jeongin’s opinion. The way Minho looks at Jisung can’t be the way anyone looks at someone they only consider a friend. Minho is Jisung’s quiet supporter with devotion camouflaged yet out in the open at the same time somehow. The younger of the pair may not always notice, but Minho surely feels something special too from the way he behaves.

Jisung is just as special to Minho as Minho is to Jisung. Jeongin thinks it’s sweet, what they have, even if it may not end up being romantic love. To him, it’s rather clear that Jisung and Minho have something special.

Sure, all eight of them are really great friends and are you really best friends with someone if people don’t assume you’re dating sometimes? Minho and Jisung just take that up a notch.

With Minho being such a flirt to his closest friends (and only to his besties, mostly), it’s easy to think Minho is just joking around. But Minho, one of their group’s tsunderes (Jeongin himself vehemently denies being part of the tsundere unit), acts like a big stereotypical cat. Very sweet and affectionate – if you know the signs because cats don’t like to be too flashy when it comes to showing affection.

“If Minho hyung says no to hanging out tomorrow too, I might steal Chan hyung’s keys,” Jisung mumbles to himself, staring at the ceiling. The younger shoots him an unnoticed look.

Steal Chan hyung’s keys _again_ , Jeongin wants to correct as a flashback invades his mind.

This idea had become reality once before: when Jisung had thought Minho must be avoiding him – nobody, not even Jisung himself, remember why he had thought that. When Jisung had broken into the apartment per stolen key, Minho hadn’t even been at home. After Jisung had locked the door from the inside, threw the key out the window and found himself alone with Changbin (who had come out of his room for snacks) for the next two and a half hours of the afternoon. Chan and Minho had gone out for grocery shopping. To be fair Changbin and Chan had been supposed to go grocery shopping together that day. But Hyunjin, Jisung’s informant, hadn’t gotten the last-minute memo that Minho had wanted to go instead, wanting to cook that day or something. Hyunjin had gone out with Seungmin in that time. That’s how Jisung had ended up with the wrong information. And Changbin, before Jisung arrived, had forgotten his keys in Chan’s car some time that week and hadn’t thought it’d be much of a problem until then.

Consequently, when Changbin and Jisung had desperately tried calling the others for help to open the door, nobody had picked up their phones. Not even dear responsible Kim Seungmin. (Jeongin notices the pattern of Hyunjin’s involvement in both of these issues but does not dwell on it.)

Don’t get them wrong, Changbin and Jisung are great friends. They’re actually really close and even work together as 3RACHA a lot. But Jisung had been so embarrassed by the whole situation that he had started crying and Changbin had no choice but to comfort him. After the crying and comforting, it had gotten progressively more awkward as the two and a half hours passed by and they had both just wanted it to end – at least that’s what the two told the others.

“All because of Hyunjin!” Jisung had yelled when he had come back to the dorm that day. He had hated Hyunjin after that incident for a few days again.

Later Changbin had gone to buy a long thin silver necklace. Today, Changbin always has his apartment key around his neck.

It’s true that you can learn from your mistakes.

Shaking his head at the memory, Jeongin focuses on the present. Again, it _is_ true that you can learn from your mistakes. Jisung just isn’t a successful example for that most of the time.

Jeongin is sure Minho isn’t even avoiding Jisung. If it were Jeongin in Minho’s position, he’d be hurt, offended and ignore Jisung, but this is Minho. Someone who doesn’t like to dwell on such things and flows like water with whatever goes on around him. Maybe he didn’t take it too much to heart? But like, seriously, what does Jisung expect to happen when he cancels on someone (calling them clingy as the reason) and then ask to hang out again anyway, like the other is just supposed to be on standby? Of course, Minho made plans with someone else already. Minho is one of their favourite hyungs after all; and he’s popular!

Also, it hasn’t even been a full day.

Jisung nudges Jeongin with his knee, eyes still on the ceiling. A wistful sigh leaves his lips, “I miss Minho hyung.”

The younger brushes a hand through his raven hair and rolls his eyes, “Tell Minho hyung.”

“I will.”

Suddenly Jisung sits up, practically jumps off the bed and rushes into their bathroom. Confused, Jeongin blinks after him but doesn’t even want to ask.

Jisung lets him know anyway, in his most confident voice, “I’ll style myself so good, dude. Then I’ll video call him. Then he will pick up and see my handsome getup and regret not hanging out with me and then we will hang out together for a late-night movie. Bonus points if I get cuddles. I’m a mastermind!”

A dumb idea. Isn’t that something a romantic partner would do to expect success? Jeongin wants to tell him. How can one be so dense about their own feelings?

Jeongin looks at his wristwatch. 17:23. Minho, Hyunjin and Felix have dance practice at six, if he remembers correctly, so they’re probably at the convenience store right now. Look, Jeongin may not be a math genius, but if practice starts at six, they’ll have to get ready in the locker room at least 10 minutes before, so Jisung has like half an hour to set his plan into motion. Jeongin doesn’t think he will be successful; Minho may like Jisung – and in _that way_ too, maybe, who knows – but Minho doesn’t easily get swayed by things like appearance and… whatever Jisung just said he would be doing.

So, with a sigh, Jeongin goes to lay down on his bed and pulls out his laptop to start a 20-minute-episode of his favourite anime instead of his k-drama because of the shorter episodes.

At first it used to be fun to watch Jisung’s denial in the beginning of his blooming crush, but the more time passes, Jeongin just wonders when they will finally date or move on. Realistically, one of those two things must happen at some point.

About half an hour later, Jisung sits on his own bed on the other side of the room and blankly stares at his smartphone screen, “He isn’t picking up.”

Jeongin looks at his wristwatch, chewing on some gummy worms he pulled out of his secret candy stash to enjoy his anime with, “because dance practice starts in 5 minutes. You took way too long in the bathroom, hyung.”

Jisung, black hair with a few silver highlights styled away from his forehead and clad in a low cut white t-shirt, shiny black leather jacket and the tightest ripped black skinny jeans he could find, moves his blank stare to Jeongin, “It didn’t feel that long.”

Somehow feeling the urge to help the other – his blank empty stare is too painful to look at – Jeongin takes his own phone into his hands, “We can call ‘Lix hyung if you want?” Usually Felix is the type to answer any phone call no matter how wrongly timed. It has actually gotten Felix into trouble multiple times, but he refuses to change that part of himself (“What if it’s serious? What if it’s my mom? Exactly. I’m not missing any calls voluntarily,” Felix had said).

“Do it.”

Jeongin scrolls through his favourited contacts quickly. Pressured by time, he means to tap on Felix’s name (Lixie hyungie 🌻) but accidently scrolls and clicks on Minho’s contact instead (Minho hyung 🐱).

The smartphone calling tone comes up. Jisung comes to sit down next to him, looking around the dorm room to pass the waiting time.

But there’s barely any.

Jeongin widens his eyes as the call gets picked up almost right away. Jisung hasn’t noticed that they’re calling Minho instead of Felix yet, but he will.

“What’s up, Innie? Did you miss your favourite hyung?” Minho picks up, voice teasing and welcoming. Despite not being put on speaker his voice can be heard by both boys since they’re sitting close enough. “Make it quick, practice starts in a few.”

The atmosphere in the room freezes over. Jeongin only sees Jisung’s blank expression break for a moment into something dark before it becomes blank again. Did Minho deliberately ignore Jisung’s call after all? Is he really mad at Jisung and that’s why he ignored Jisung’s call earlier and took Jeongin’s immediately?

Jeongin almost flinches when Jisung moves his hand to tap on the loudspeaker button, seeing it really is Minho’s contact (the contact ID has a selfie attached to it as well, Minho put a pretty one in there himself) instead of Felix’s.

Jisung is acting creepy. Creepy enough that Jeongin forgets to respond.

“Hello? You there?” Minho asks, confused. Through the background noise Hyunjin’s snicker comes out, “A butt dial.” And they can basically hear Felix grin through the phone, “Greetings to our favourite baby!”

“Minho hyung,” Jisung starts instead, voice low and calm. Jeongin shivers at the icy tone, thinks Jisung is about to snap and start complaining. Once he gets really into it, you never know when he’ll stop or what he’ll say.

“Oh, Hannie?” Minho’s voice unchanged, warm and has no signs of detecting (or caring about) Jisung’s disappointed anger through the phone call. Minho doesn’t sound upset at all.

Jeongin sees Jisung’s blank expression immediately crack at the cute nickname. Thrown off, his bottom lip juts into a grumpy pout and he looks down to his lap, fiddling with his hands and seemingly thinking through what to say now.

“Sorry, I couldn’t pick your call up before. Hyunjin held onto my phone while I went to the toilet. My sweatpants have no pockets today. I was going to call you back after practice though… Why’d you call?”

Jisung sniffles. His anger from thinking his call had been deliberately ignored is forgotten immediately. Jeongin thinks Jisung might as well start shedding tears of happiness right then and there.

(He does look like he might.)

Jisung takes a deep breath before a fond smile stretches his lips. Then he speaks, “Hyung, I miss–”

“Oh! I gotta go. Practice is gonna start and Instructor Jang looks like he’s in a bad mood. See you!” Minho hangs up. Only the beep tone to signal it left behind.

The two boys sit and stare at the smartphone’s screen as it locks itself.

Jisung’s entire demeanour screams _I Am Sulking But Conflicted About It_. Jeongin looks at his friend in pity, “Hyung, it’ll be ok! You–”

“I should have known it’s all Hyunjin’s fault… yet again!!” Jisung suddenly exclaims like he has an epiphany, wiping away unshed happy tears, “I’ll definitely kick him for that later. But the most important thing is that Minho hyung isn’t mad at me and look! My plan worked fine, I didn’t dress up for nothing!”

Jeongin frowns, confused, “Your plan?”

“To look so good that Minho hyung can’t be mad at me,” Jisung smirks with pride, in a tone that says it’s obvious.

The denial aspect in Jisung’s life really sits deep, huh. Speechless, Jeongin shakes his head. It wasn’t even a video call!

Even if it was, Jeongin’s right, Minho hasn’t even been mad at Jisung in the first place it seems. Apparently nothing changed after last night; Jisung is still in denial about his feelings, back to his usual self after one rejection by Minho and up to no good. Meanwhile Minho is his usual casual and carefree self. Honestly, Jeongin had been a little worried since Minho had seemed a little hurt yesterday while Jisung and Hyunjin had been fighting, but now Minho sounds just like always. Even after Jisung had called him clingy and asked for space.

Minho really is mentally strong.

But Jeongin does want to scream. Just a little. Preferably at Jisung. Or maybe Hyunjin, for the unnecessary drama (as always) and not even succeeding in making Jisung realise a damn thing about his feelings. Jeongin always has to deal with the aftermath too!

“I’ll go over to their apartment and wait there,” Jisung smiles to himself, probably making up all kinds of dramatic scenarios of seeing Minho again. He gets up, excitement following his steps to the dorm door.

“Isn’t Changbin hyung the only one there right now?”

Jisung immediately backtracks, smile not leaving his face, “I’ll go over to my bed and wait there.”

Well, at least he still remembers _that_ incident.

* * *

Unfortunately for Jisung, none of his made-up scenarios about seeing Minho again come true. Not that day or any time soon. They’re all too busy with their separate lives.

The rest of the week – filled mostly with university work and only small friendly interactions between friends and other students – passes by rather quickly.

For starters: Tuesday is peaceful.

(Jisung asks Minho for coffee out again but Minho declines, saying he does extra lessons at the dance studio for all the new dancers every day this week. Somehow Jisung blames Hyunjin for that too.)

On Wednesday Jisung trips Hyunjin, who was mid-hello, when they walk by each other in the hall and keeps walking as if nothing happened. Hyunjin’s friends only laugh at his bewildered expression. Hyunjin did not face plant that day but it was a close one.

  
Thursday has Jisung kicking Hyunjin in the shin under the table in the library when Hyunjin sits down next to him, Seungmin in tow. Poor Hyunjin gasps in pain, ends up wheezing to try and keep his voice down for sake of the library rules.

Slightly annoyed and disinterested, Seungmin sighs and rolls his eyes at them, focusing on pulling out his study material out of his backpack.

“We’re even now, Hyunjinnie~,” Jisung says in a friendly pitch and an innocent smile as he side-hugs Hyunjin with one arm.

Hyunjin frowns in all confused offense and his thick lips form a pout, his voice is a hushed hiss, “What did I even do, you demon?”

Jisung’s smile drops to make place for a glare, arm still around him, “Don’t ask stupid questions.”

Feeling wronged and confused, Hyunjin bugs Jisung for an answer a little more before Jisung finally explains how Hyunjin had made Jisung act rashly, had made Minho miss Jisung’s very important phone call and then about how Minho would hold extra lessons for the new students in the dance club every day – according to Jisung, it all boils down to Hwang Hyunjin.

Imagine how tired Hyunjin is.

Seungmin, who couldn’t help but listen to the rant as they sit right in front of him at the same table, sighs and gives Jisung a look that shows how much he pities him. How can you feel all these things about someone, enough to fight one of your best friends about it all the time and be so obvious about your feelings, yet not realise what those feelings mean at the same time? Seungmin wants to mind his own business though – he isn’t saying it’s romantic love! But… you know… it is something.

Either way, Seungmin is glad everything is back to normal again after all. As long as nobody gets hurt everything should be fine.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Jisung blinks at him, “I feel like I disappointed you, but I don’t know what I did.”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s a permanent state of mind for me,” Seungmin answers, eyes going back to his books. Mildly offended by the statement, Jisung can only huff as Hyunjin laughs.

In the end they do end up doing what they came to the library for: their homework assignments. Although they all mostly have different roots in university – Seungmin, second semester law student with a minor in English, Jisung second semester music production student and Hyunjin, second semester interior design student also with a minor in English – they do study sessions together sometimes. Together with Felix, second semester information technology (IT) major, the same age friends often study together as the 2000s of their friend group. Although Felix is absent this time because he still has a seminar to attend.

The three of them here do manage to actually study more than goof off. Seungmin is glad to be productive today.

* * *

Somewhere in the heart of the city, that following Friday, are Changbin, Chan and Minho hanging out in the corner of a newly opened café.

 _Closer_ is the name.

The café’s style is comfortable and modern, consisting mostly of colours of white, beige, green and some pastels. Plants seem to be the main point of decoration, with some framed pale-coloured photography of nature and small differently shaped mirrors making up one big mirror on the entirety of one wall. There are not a lot of customers around as it is late evening already and the café is not very well known yet. It will probably be popular with young people due to the aesthetic. It has a cosy aura.

In a corner booth, the three boys are simply enjoying each other’s presence with soft conversations and little jokes amongst themselves. Any silence is as comfortable and welcomed as a new conversation topic.

While they do live together, plus Hyunjin, they do like spending time together like this as well. Going on small outings like this is also a nice change from their usual big hangouts with their beloved friend group, since they are the three oldest among them. It’s just a different experience.

(In the end all eight of them think the same thing anyway – their friendship is something very special and precious to each of them.)

It is quiet in the café. The staff and customers are milling around. Music comes from the speakers in low volume as the conversation lulls to a comfortable stop.

Chan has always been the type to bask in tranquillity like this whenever he gets the chance.

Minho watches the scenery outside the café window. The sun is on its way down the horizon, colouring the world in orange-pink hues. The scenery looks warmer than the weather is. Soft winds blow by, rustling the tree’s colourful leaves and the clothes of the few people walking around outside.

Obvious from the way Changbin absent-mindedly scratches his cheek with a finger, he must be pondering about what to talk about next – never one for the quiet unless alone by himself. Soon Changbin is watching Minho instead, with a soft smile growing on his face. He seems to catch himself after a moment. Sheepishly he averts his gaze, smile not leaving his face as he looks down at the table instead.

Then there is Chan, who watches them both with an amused, but mostly fond, glint in his eyes. He wonders what exactly goes through his friends’ heads sometimes – not even in a mocking way this time. It’s hard not to watch and wonder; after all they sit in front of him, next to each other.

A phone vibrates.

Changbin moves to check his phone, snapping out of his shy smiling state.

“I told you to put it on silent,” Minho scolds lightly, sending Changbin a disapproving glance before turning back to the window again, head resting on his propped-up palm.

Sheepishly, Changbin opens the new text messages as his phone keeps vibrating until he finally opens the message app, indicating there are more and more coming. He looks up at Chan and Minho’s side profile next to him before looking back down, “It’s from the group chat.”

Minho sighs and Chan picks his own phone up to check just like Changbin.

**Group Chat: YOuR beHAviOUR is SO uGH!!**

❤️ Woof woof! 🐶: I have a 20% off coupon for a 3 day 2 nights stay at a ski resort.

❤️ Hyunjin 🕺: i’m in

❤️ Lix 🧚: i’m in

❤️ Woof woof! 🐶: I didn’t even say anything yet.

❤️ Woof woof! 🐶: I came to brag. Not to invite you.

❤️ Jeongin 🦊: i wanna go!!

❤️ Woof woof! 🐶: Nevermind. Jeongin, you can join me.

❤️ Jeongin 🦊: nice!!

❤️ Jisung 🐀: blatant favouritism

  
“All the heart emojis make me nauseous,” Minho drawls, coming close. His breath tickles Changbin’s neck as he leans his head against his shoulder to see his phone screen. A hand resting on Changbin’s arm. Then he chuckles, “You saved Jisung as a rat? Add a clown emoji sometime.”

Changbin could tell him to just check his own phone instead of looking at his but, whatever. The reason for Jisung’s emoji being a rat is actually that Jisung had accidently spilled coffee on Changbin’s new composing papers yesterday. No, Jisung had neither apologised nor helped clean up. Kid only kept laughing at the poor paper sheets, still blank but turned brown. Still, Changbin will probably turn the emoji in his contact name back to a squirrel someday soon. As a hyung, Changbin is the type to be weak only for his dongsaengs, his younger friends. A squirrel is cuter to look at anyway.

Although the clown emoji makes as much sense as the rat emoji for Jisung sometimes. Maybe Changbin should add the clown emoji, if only for Minho.

  
❤️ Lix 🧚: :(

❤️ Woof woof! 🐶: Fine, you can come too.

❤️ Lix 🧚: 🥰

❤️ Hyunjin 🕺: >:(

❤️ Chan hyung 🐺: When and where seungmin?

Our favourite tsundere at it again

❤️ Jisung 🐀: i thought that’s minho hyung

❤️ Lix 🧚: no minho hyung is our favourite heartthrob. wtf keep up

  
“Heartthrob, huh,” Minho mumbles, sliding an arm around Changbin’s waist to better snuggle against his side and get a better view on the smartphone. Almost automatically, with a short glance only, Changbin comfortably leans into his half embrace.

Chan chuckles at the sight, “They’re not wrong.” But Minho purses his lips at the comment.

  
❤️ Woof woof! 🐶: I’ll send a link to the resort’s website so you can check it out. Let’s plan it so everyone can come.

  
“Hmm,” Minho hums with a smile, “Look how sweet he is to us. Changbinnie, say thank you.”

  
❤️ Woof woof! 🐶: [Link attached]

Minho hyung says you’re very sweet to us thank you 💕

  
“I didn’t mean you should explicitly say it’s from me, but thanks,” Minho mutters with an eye roll that Changbin only reacts with an amused smile to. Chan takes a sip of his hot chocolate.

Minho watches him drink, “I’m still surprised you’re not a coffee addict with a sleep schedule like that. You don’t drink energy drinks either. Are you perhaps a masochist?”

Chan blinks a couple times at the question and quick change of topics before he sighs, “No, I just don’t like either of those. The taste isn’t even that good.”

“You can always put sugar and milk in coffee though if it’s too bitter?”

“I’ll stick to my hot chocolate, thank you very much.”

  
❤️ Woof woof! 🐶: I am: disgusted.

❤️ Woof woof! 🐶: You’re all welcome.

❤️ Hyunjin 🕺: it’s a lie, i can see him blushing

❤️ Jisung 🐀: wait minho hyung is with you?

❤️ Lix 🧚: our hyungs are on a date aren’t they?

❤️ Woof woof! 🐶: I can always throw you out of my apartment, Hyunjin. :)

❤️ Jisung 🐀: hyunjin u may think he is joking bc he never did it to u but he did it to me before so believe it when i say he is not joking

❤️ Jeongin 🦊: you probably deserved it

❤️ Lix 🧚: he did

❤️ Jisung 🐀: Top 10 Anime Betrayals

❤️ Hyunjin 🕺: @ seungmin :(

  
Changbin and Chan both lock their phones and put it back on the table, although this time Minho glares at Changbin, from his spot on his shoulder, long enough for Changbin to turn it on mute. He gets a smile and nod of approval.

“Sounds like fun,” Changbin smiles, looking up, “The ski resort thing, I mean. I’m good at skiing!”

“Me too,” Minho says, sitting up straight again and stretching his back and his arms above his head. He looks like a lazy cat and Changbin misses the warmth he provided immediately. “I wanna try snowboarding too.”

“I never went skiing before so I don’t know if I’m good or not,” Chan rubs his chin in thought, “I should be fine though, I’m a sporty kid.”

A lazy smirk stretches across Minho’s lips, he sends a quick conspiring glance at Changbin, who understands immediately and raises a brow at Chan, “You look like you’d be bad though.”

“Yeah, more like an old man instead of a sporty kid,” Minho immediately joins, trying not to laugh. For fun, Changbin adds to it, “Chan and I went to a ski resort together before and we didn’t ski, but he didn’t look like he’d fit in the ski scene anyway to be honest.”

Chan opens his mouth to protest but he stops, glancing between Minho and CHangbin multiple times before he realises that they’re just teasing him and it’s not worth it. So, he doesn’t say anything, just hides a fond chuckle behind his mug of hot chocolate.

His two friends burst into laughter.

“Just teach me then,” Chan settles on, smiling at the two over his mug.

“Of course!” Changbin says with pride and a hand on his chest.

Minho adds in a sing-song voice, “We’ll take good care of our Channie hyung~!”

They mean it (probably). Both of them have wide matching grins on their faces, so Chan can’t help but smile wide too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#2 P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Bang Christopher Chan  
>  **Birthday:** 3\. October, 1997  
>  **Occupation:** Music Production Major (4th Semester), Assistant DJ/MC at Radio Station, member of the swimming club  
>  **Hobbies:** producing and listening to music, hanging out with friends, playing sports  
>  **Other (1) :** shares an apartment with Minho, Changbin and Hyunjin, great people skills, popular everywhere he goes, originally from Australia
> 
> * * *
> 
> things are getting into motion slowly. chapter sizes may vary for a while.  
> let me know your thoughts about the story in the comments!  
> i'd love to hear what you think no matter what. it's very motivating! ☆
> 
> stream [God's Menu MV](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQTlCHxyuu8) and [Easy MV](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZSv3aMGg5Q) on youtube and support Stray Kids! ♥


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the type of special feeling Jisung only gets when Minho is around.

  
It’s Saturday when Minho and Jisung finally see each other in person again. That is, if Hyunjin would just let Jisung inside the apartment already.

“Why are you here,” Hyunjin asks but it sounds as flat as his expression, eyeing him up and down in suspicion. Jisung is wearing his Hottest Outfit and even styled his hair, black with a few silver highlights, away from his forehead again. “And looking like that.”

Before he can respond, Hyunjin spots his two companions and opens the door wide with a grin, “Come on in!”

The two, Jeongin and Felix, brush past Jisung with a quick greeting. Hyunjin follows the two inside, leaving the door open so Jisung can follow too. Jisung closes the apartment door behind him and heads straight into the open living room, eyes searching. Despite the four residents each having their own bedroom, it’s a rather small apartment. Still, it’s mostly well-kept and nicely furnished – with interior design major Hyunjin living here, that’s to be expected though.

“Where’s Seungminnie?” Hyunjin asks them, moving out the kitchen area since living room and kitchen are connected as one open space, bringing with him a big water bottle in one hand and three glass cups in the other. Big hands privileges.

Jisung is still searching for his target and, as he moves towards Minho’s room, Felix replies, “Seungmin and Minho hyung are at the library, on campus.”

“What?!” Jisung turns on his heel in shock, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

This morning Jisung had told Jeongin that he’d look his best again and simply spontaneously visit hyung line’s apartment as he hadn’t seen any of his hyungs for the whole week already. He misses them, especially Minho. He still feels kind of guilty for calling him clingy. In his opinion it’s true (especially after that one, uh, conversation that night, it was evident!), but he had realised he could’ve worded it nicely without cancelling because now they’re not seeing each other at all.

So, Jisung had styled himself up again (for his self-confidence more than anything… and for Minho), ready to apologise and show what an awesome friend he still is. Jeongin had simply sighed at his explanation and when they had showed up at Felix’s and Seungmin’s apartment to ask if they – or Felix alone, since Seungmin was absent (in all his excitement Jisung forgot to ask where) – Felix had had the exact same reaction as Jeongin. It still irks Jisung a little, the two giving him knowing tired looks, but in the end all three of them had continued the short walk to their hyung line’s apartment complex.

Fortunately, the apartment building Felix and Seungmin live in is on the same street as the apartment building Chan, Minho, Changbin and Hyunjin reside in.

Now they’re here.

Felix is seated on the couch, Jeongin next to him and Hyunjin is still standing. Felix shrugs, tilting his head in innocence, “You didn’t ask.”

Ok. He didn’t. “But still! I wasted my time coming here then!”

“They’ll be back soon,” another voice says as a door opens and closes. Chan strides out of his room, jacket in hand, “I’m going to pick them up right now.”

“Can I come with you?” Jisung grins.

Chan immediately looks away and continues for the door, “Bye.”

The door shuts behind him.

Rude.

Jisung turns to the other three boys still in the room. Caught staring, they all suddenly avoid his eyes. “I feel like you’re all judging me right now but don’t want me to know,” he observes, narrowing his eyes at each of his friends now all settled on the couch.

“I sure am,” Jeongin says, meeting his eyes, “But I don’t even mind you knowing. I just wanted to spare your pride.”

Felix sighs, “Maybe it’s time I just say it to your face. Straight up.” He takes a deep breath, shakes his head then looks up in determination. Sometimes Felix can look very intimidating. “Jisung, you know we all love you but–”

“Speak for yourself,” Hyunjin casually interrupts, lounging next to Jeongin on the couch.

Felix ignores him and starts again, “Jisung, you know we all love you, but you should finally accept your feelings before–”

“Why are all of you here?”

They all turn to Changbin, rubbing his eyes in a sleepy manner and hair going in all directions as if he just woke up from a nap. “I woke up because of you,” he explains, confirming the assumption, “And I only got two hours of sleep, you heathens.”

“It’s four in the afternoon,” Jeongin raises a brow.

Changbin quietly grumbles something incoherent about a project, sitting down next to Jeongin on the couch, taking Jeongin’s glass of water on the table and chugs before he puts it gently back on the table again.

“That was mine,” Jeongin says. Changbin shrugs, simply hugs the youngest around his waist and leans his head on his shoulder too. As much as Changbin happily lets himself be teased and prodded at… they all still respect him. Also, the fun ends when he’s in a bad mood. Nobody should ever try to fight a grumpy Changbin, especially not if he is sleep deprived to boot. Right now though, he only seems to feel sleepy, so Jeongin lets his sleepy hyung hug him with only mild resistance.

“Anyway!” Felix raises his voice, starting his sentence again, “Jisung, look, about Minho hyung–”

“Hold on!” Hyunjin yells.

“What is it now?” Felix yells back, throwing his hands in the air in frustration and glaring at Hyunjin, while Jisung glares at them both in confusion now.

Hyunjin turns to Felix with his body while eyeing Jisung warily, “Didn’t you notice that the direct approach does not work on that idiot? It’ll just worry Seungmin. Let’s think of something else.”

Han Jisung may not know what they’re talking about but feels lowkey offended by whatever that meant anyway. He expectantly watches them.

Felix is about to speak, but Hyunjin makes a motion for Felix to follow him so they both leave the room and go into Chan’s room for some privacy without further comment. The three left in the room stare at the closed room door in silence.

“What the fuck is going on?” Changbin blurts.

Jisung crosses his arms,“That’s what I wanna know.”

For the first time since he arrived, Changbin finally realises how Jisung looks. He turns to Jeongin after he lets him go, “Didn’t you say it’s four in the afternoon?” he turns back to Jisung, “You… going clubbing later or something?”

“No, I dressed up for Minho hyung.”

Fed up, Jeongin sighs, elbows resting on his knees and his hands together in front of his face, looking ready for a prayer. His words are slow, as if patient, and deliberate, “Hyung, how the fuck can you say shit like that and still say you don’t like Minho hyung? I’m honestly baffled.”

“Now you made Jeongin curse…” Changbin frowns in disapproval at Jisung.

Jisung ignores Changbin with a frown, then awkwardly chuckles, “If this is about our last MG event, I guess I do like Minho hyung. I mean, we’re friends after all, but it’s true that it’s mostly for entertainment, you know. Friends. Nothing romantic going on.”

Jeongin throws his head back and rolls his eyes, hands still in front of him. Annoyed, he whines, “Ugh, fine! Platonic soulmates matter too, after all, if that’s what you want to force yourself to believe you two are. I don’t care anymore!” Platonic soulmates definitely do matter to Jeongin, but if Jisung and Minho are soulmates then they sure as hell aren’t platonic ones. Not in this universe, they’re not.

Jisung smiles brightly and nods, hands on his hips now, “I’m glad you understand.”

Finally, having caught on to what this is about, Changbin pinches the bridge of his nose. Honestly, he does not really know why they’re all here, but he knows the topic of conversation now and groans. Something else stings in his chest. Like the day he has felt it for the first time and every time after that, he pushes it down to some dark locked place.

He looks at Jisung, as serious as he rarely likes to be and offers advice, making it as general as possible as not to scare Jisung away with the direct approach, “Jisung, if you like someone, if you love someone, man, just tell them. If you’re really close with them, they won’t mind even if it’s unrequited. Pretty sure in your special case, they feel the same way… You got nothing to lose, only everything to gain.”

For a moment Jisung finds himself stunned into silence at the rare serious tone of his older friend. While he appreciates the advice, he wouldn’t even know who to confess to. He doesn’t have feelings for anyone, and his dating pool is as empty as… well, an empty cinema or something; there’s definitely availability, entertainment and interest but no one wants to watch the movie. It’s a little pitiful.

Seeing the lost expression on his friend’s face, Changbin gets up with a sigh. That’s enough. “Whatever, I’ll go back to my nap.” Then, under his breath, as he walks into his room with his friends watching him leave, “If I can fall asleep again, that is.” The door shuts quietly behind him.

Now Jeongin unintentionally looks like a sad kicked puppy. And he feels like it too, plus he’s confused. That sounded so sincere and wise, he didn’t expect something like that from Changbin.

Sure, they all know Changbin is a romantic at heart but for him to say something like that and sound so wise… he sounded resigned as well. It makes Jeongin wonder if his hyung’s advice could be stemming from an experience he has not heard of yet.

When Jisung and Jeongin make eye contact, Jisung’s own confusion just doubles.

Suddenly there are keys jiggling and the door opening. One after another Chan, Minho and Seungmin stride in, the only ones in the room with a good mood right now as they walk in with a quiet conversation, laughs and smiles. Jisung and Jeongin both look towards the entrance.

Like a rush, Jisung feels his mood lift as he watches his friends’ arrival. His eyes find themselves lingering on Minho, forcing them away for his other two friends, only to be drawn to him again.

He decides to just let himself stare for a while, maybe say hello to him first once they meet eyes. His lips form a smile against his will, happy to see him again. And his heart skips a little when Minho finally notices him. It has Jisung’s smile morphing into a grin and his eyes crinkling at the sides the tiniest bit.

For a moment Minho smiles back at him, then raises a brow as if asking why he’s here and why he’s excited. Detailed assumption to make, but Jisung just knowns, okay?

“Why are you guys here?” Seungmin asks the question out loud when him and Chan spot them as well.

Jeongin shrugs, almost rolls his eyes and vaguely gestures at Jisung.

Seungmin assesses Jisung, a brow rising, “Jisung… wants to go clubbing?”

About to explain, _again_ , that he dressed up for Minho, Jisung’s breath catches in his throat when he notices Minho still looking at him for his answer as well. Suddenly he can’t get the same words out, so he frowns. “Uh,” he starts, trying his best for other words instead and keeping his smile upright, “I dressed up for self-confidence.” Technically, that’s true too. In the background he quietly hears Jeongin groan and a smack (a hard facepalm for sure).

Seungmin regards Jisung weirdly before nodding, “Ah… okay.”

Just then another door opens to one of the rooms on the side. Hyunjin and Felix stride out, barely reacting to the newcomers.

“Why were you in my room?” Chan asks, grimacing like he isn’t sure whether he wants to know or not.

“It was the safest choice for an impromptu strategy meeting,” Felix explains, like that’s totally normal.

It is not. Hyunjin literally lives here too and has his own room. But Chan doesn’t even want to care for what and why any further, so he shakes his head to himself.

Then an idea goes off like a light bulb in his head, “Hey, if everyone’s here, we can plan for the trip!”

Minho nods, “I’ll go get Changbin.”

“Oh, Changbin hyung said he’s trying to sleep,” Jeongin warns.

Minho smirks mischievously as he leaves, “I know.”

Jisung watches him go with down-turned lips. He still hasn’t gotten a chance to talk to him again (and his Hottest Outfit has gotten no recognition from Minho either) and still won’t for a few hours at least, it seems. He wonders about Minho’s playfulness as he left for Changbin. Minho will probably scare Changbin awake or something.

He accidently meets eyes with Hyunjin, who’s still by the room doors unlike Felix who’s already sat back down on the couch. Hyunjin seems to have watched him and Jisung gets a knowing smirk from him. _What are you looking at?_ Jisung mouths silently before he averts his eyes.

The eight of them decide on planning the 2-days-3-nights ski trip for next weekend as it would basically be a long MG event for them and none of them have deadlines or anything to meet that week yet.

With that decided, Seungmin immediately books the trip and uses his coupon. Turns out 20% off really does save a lot of money, especially since they’re eight people. The coupon’s target audience is probably supposed to be couples but watch Seungmin book the place with his seven friends. The loophole here is that it doesn’t specify the amount of people the coupon gets used for in the terms and conditions – yes, Seungmin read them, what about it?

The coupon offers a stay where the coupon-holders will get a one-hour lesson on skiing, breakfast, hot springs nearby and sauna all inclusive. For lunch and dinner there are multiple restaurants and bars available and they do room service too.

Before everyone goes back to their own dorm, apartment or room, they decide to order take out. Planning with and for eight people is hard work and they – mostly Seungmin and Chan, the main organisers – deserve a treat for the work.

The boys spread out in the open living room area in small groups, twos or alone, waiting for the food to come. On the black leather couch, Felix plays one of his mobile games again with Jeongin momentarily watching (“Love Live? I’m so bad at rhythm games, hyung. How do you do that?” but Felix isn’t that much better) before Jeongin moves to turn on the TV on a random channel. Sitting on the other side of Felix is Changbin, who puts his phone away to watch TV, too, and covers himself with one of the throw blankets for the couch. Seungmin and Hyunjin linger by the kitchen area, making quiet conversation and sharing a few smiles here and there.

Lastly, Chan and Minho sit on the floor next to each other, leaning against the couch behind them, not talking and each minding their own business on their smartphones. The other side of Minho is free, looking as inviting as ever.

Perfect. Jisung wants to take this opportunity to finally talk to Minho and, he hopes, maybe get permission for a sleepover tonight so they can catch up on all the time this week that they haven’t spent together. They’ve barely texted, had no phone calls and hadn’t seen each other even once. It happens, those periods where they just don’t hang out much. But they always end up catching up on it. Also, there’s no one Jisung would rather be roommates with for the ski resort; obviously he wants to secure that spot as well.

Jisung sits down next to Minho on the floor. He opens his mouth but when he looks at Minho, who is focused on his smartphone and seemingly oblivious to the world around him, Jisung stops and stares for a moment. He realises that he does that a lot lately – to Minho that is – or maybe he’s always been doing that a lot or has always been wanting to actually let himself do it as much as he wants to.

Everyone knows Minho’s visuals are unreal, right?

A soft smile curls on Jisung’s lips, as if pulled by strings of magic or, well, whatever this feeling is.

The Hyunjin in his mind, dressed up in a dark suit with red horns and a red triangle tail, tells him “it’s love, you privileged idiot” but he shrugs the thought off as quickly as he always does.

It is not love.

Jisung knows that’s what Hyunjin thinks about them – Jisung and Minho. They had even argued about it last Sunday, on one of their MG events, in front of all the others.

So embarrassing.

They’ve had that argument multiple times. What had started off as innocent teasing, just a few weeks after Minho had joined their friend group a long time ago, sort of grew into something of a klutz on Jisung’s metaphorical ankle. Every argument and comment too much makes Jisung wary about his interactions with Minho after, and it takes some time before he feels comfortable again. Sometimes Jisung wants to hide his chemistry with Minho. Not because Jisung is ashamed or embarrassed. It can be funny and even kind of nice for Jisung when people notice how close they are, but there are times where he feels like it should be something private, something guarded from others’ eyes. Cherished only between Minho and Jisung.

Times like that include times when Hyunjin notices too much and completely misinterprets.

The reason for these arguments is that Hyunjin had confessed to him, a long time ago, that he likes Seungmin, likes him like _that_ – likes him so much Hyunjin tries to show him openly as much as he can without scaring the other away. Seungmin, who is either completely oblivious to his advances or straight up curving him on purpose in a way to try and not hurt Hyunjin’s feelings.

Personally, Jisung thinks it is obliviousness because, you see, Seungmin hasn’t really shown interest in romance so far; Seungmin wouldn’t know romance if it hit him in the face. And he isn’t the type to sugar-coat things for his friends either.

Anyway, that’s why Hyunjin calls Jisung “a privileged idiot”, unlike seemingly hopeless Hyunjin himself. According to Hyunjin, Jisung could be happy with Minho if he just stops being in denial.

But there is nothing to deny! Because there is no feeling of like or love, not like _that_.

Jisung refuses to call it denial. He’s never dated (that one week in middle school does _not_ count) but he’s had a few crushes before, which were all girls by the way – although he hasn’t had a crush for the past recent years now. But he has seen love in the movies, in the shows and in the people around him too. Jisung is not as clueless as people like to believe him to be.

What he has with Minho is not that. It cannot be.

When Jisung thinks of love, it’s this: Love at first sight, where you see someone in a crowd and just _know_. Love immediately _clicks_ when you meet your potential lover. Love makes you excited to know more; love that makes you lose your breath by how the other person makes you feel and all those many heart pounding moments. The high that comes with love, the excitement, the constant want, the lust, the exploration and the jealousy. Ideally, perfectly confess those feelings in a high-tension moment after saving the other’s life.

That is love.

… Or something. Jisung is no expert.

Either way, he doesn’t feel that way about Minho. He will never like Minho like that, no matter what Hyunjin believes and argues to him about. And he knows Hyunjin doesn’t say those things to be mean but rather so Jisung can be happy – which makes the whole thing worse if you ask Jisung – especially if Hyunjin feels like he himself can’t be. It’s just… bothersome.

What Jisung feels for Minho is special. A one of a kind feeling Jisung has unintentionally reserved only for Minho. But it is not love. Otherwise Jisung wouldn’t call Minho his soulmate. If soulmates are real, then Jisung genuinely believes it: Jisung and Minho are soulmates.

That’s all there is to it.

(But that’s cheesy to seriously admit to others too.)

For now, Jisung shakes all those inconvenient thoughts off.

He thinks he might have been staring too long at Minho’s side profile and hopes Hyunjin of all people hasn’t noticed. He breaks off his stare and the smile on his lips, takes a deep readying breath and then looks at Minho again.

“Minho hyung,” Jisung softly calls, lips jutting out in a pout, “We haven’t seen each other all week. I missed you.”

Minho blinks up from his smartphone screen in surprise and meets his eyes, “Oh, Hannie. Yeah, I guess so. Had a lot to do. I’ve been giving extra classes for the new dancers at the studio.”

“I know, you told me already,” Jisung nudges him with his elbow and curiously smiles, “Any other news? Anything I missed out on?”

Minho hums, looking up in thought. His cute blinking habit never quite left, even after dropping contact lenses since he had gotten lasik surgery. He tilts his head, “Nothing comes to mind. What about you? Do you have something to tell?”

Of course, Jisung has come prepared. “That one green coffee shop by our campus had a 2-for-1 deal on iced americano. Since I couldn’t go with you, I ended up with Chan hyung,” Jisung recalls one of the many things he wants to tell Minho about and laughs, “He doesn’t even like coffee so I drank both by myself. I was basically vibrating after that.”

Minho gives a short chuckle and looks up as he remembers something, “Yeah, Chan hyung prefers hot chocolate.”

The doorbell rings before they can continue the conversation.

It makes everyone pay attention like the hungry young adults that they are. It’s Hyunjin and Seungmin who go to open the front door, accepting the huge delivery for eight people and paying. They move everything to the living room space and the others also join them on the floor as Changbin moves the coffee table away to make more space before sitting down between Hyunjin and Felix.

“You guys better not eat all the mandu this time,” Jeongin warns his elders, “I even made sure to tell Seungmin hyung to order more servings than last time.”

Seungmin chuckles and pats his shoulder, “You just need to be faster than Chan hyung.”

“Hey!” Chan protests immediately then quiets down with a pout (because Seungmin is kind of right; Chan either eats a lot or not at all), “I’ll be more careful this time…”

“You said that last time too!” Changbin calls him out with a loud laugh.

The atmosphere is as comfortable as always. The boys tease each other, laugh together but mostly focus on their food. Jisung thinks Jeongin and Seungmin may want to slap some of them a few times throughout the meal for being dumb, but that’s part of who they are.

Jisung watches in amusement when Hyunjin tries to feed Seungmin a piece of neatly salad-wrapped meat, but Seungmin doesn’t notice and gets up to go get napkins for everyone, seemingly having just noticed that there aren’t enough. Hyunjin is left sadly looking at the food in his still-raised-in-the-air hand.

“Let him know verbally next time,” Jisung advises, finding it too funny.

Hyunjin gives him a glare, that looks more sulky than angry, stuffing the meat into his own mouth instead. Then with a full mouth he replies, “I’m trying to be romantic. Shut up, Jisung.”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Minho reprimands immediately with a tut, giving Hyunjin a quick look of disapproval before going back to eating.

“It’s times like these when I’m reminded that Minho hyung is a hyung,” Jeongin happily comments, looking absolutely satisfied with Minho’s action and Minho just laughs a little at that.

Seungmin finally comes back with napkins and sits back down next to Hyunjin, diagonally from Jisung. “I barely believe it myself sometimes,” he comments.

“Minho hyung should scold you all more then,” Changbin teases with a mischievous grin, reaching over Hyunjin for another yet unopened food container. Him and his arm are too short so Hyunjin just grabs it for him.

“Changbin, come over here, I have an egg,” Minho says, no, demands.

Confused everyone, including Changbin and Jisung, look over to Minho but only Chan looks like he knows what’s going to happen with that carefree little smile.

“What are you going to do with Changbin hyung and the egg?” Felix asks with wide innocent eyes, but by then Changbin is already moving over before he stands by Minho (almost in between him and Jisung) and looks down at him.

“Jisungie, make some space, please,” Minho politely says in one of his sweeter tones and looks at Jisung, who looks even more confused at being asked to move away, for a moment before gesturing for Changbin to just take a seat there once Jisung moves away.

But Jisung doesn’t move. He frowns at Minho and puts his eating utensils down, “Why do I have to–”

“Make it quick. The longer he stands there and blocks the TV the less I see of Everglow’s performance,” the youngest shoos to make them hurry.

Reluctantly Jisung moves away to make space for Changbin and in turn come closer to Seungmin, then proceeds to side-eye Minho while sulking. These days his friends always seem ready to betray or drop him for another. Sigh.

Changbin sits down. Minho puts his hand out for a game of rock paper scissors without an explanation and Changbin automatically plays. And loses.

_Crack!_

“Hey, what if that was a raw egg?!” Changbin yells in shock, rubbing the space on his forehead where Minho had just cracked the egg on. Minho laughs in absolute amusement, like the others in their circle, and just peels the egg’s shell off, “Would’ve been too bad then, I guess.”

Sensing the end of the comedy scene, the others turn back to focus on eating (and watching TV). Except for Jisung, who waits for his seat to be vacant again. He still has a lot to talk about with Minho after all. Can’t blame a boy for wanting to catch up with his platonic soulmate after so much absence, now can you?

Changbin moves to get up and go back to his own seat but Minho holds him down with a hand on his arm and looks at him. “Just stay here,” he says.

Changbin blinks and a faint blush spreads across his cheeks, looking first at Minho then the hand on his bare forearm, “Oh… sure.”

Minho gives him a smile and feeds him the peeled egg. Although the sight is not as cute as it may sound. He just quickly stuffs the whole thing in there when Changbin opens his mouth for a bite and laughs like it’s the funniest thing ever when Changbin almost chokes on it. Then he’s already shifting his focus to grab food for himself and gets pulled into another conversation with Chan and Jeongin.

Hold on. _Blush?_ Jisung narrows his eyes. Changbin’s ears are red, too. Was the egg thing that embarrassing to him? Jisung nods to himself. Understandable.

Changbin, chewing with cheeks full of an entire egg, shyly and discreetly looks at Minho. And Jisung looks between them both a couple times before it clicks.

Changbin must be wondering how he always falls for Minho’s pranks so easily – of course. Jisung just wants to tease him a little more about it and maybe make the poor prank victim laugh for comfort. Minho may be a huge tease, but in no way much of a prankster if you ask Jisung. But when he does decide to pull a prank, he pulls it off well.

Although, Jisung concludes, Changbin _is_ a regular victim of both the teasing and the pranks.

“Aw, Changbin hyung,” Jisung coos teasingly and lightly slaps Changbin’s other arm with a laugh and Changbin startles his shyness away with that, “When it comes to Minho hyung, it happens to the best of us!”

“Does it?” Changbin warily says, taking his arm away from Jisung to rub where he just got slapped, “Ah, well, I guess you’d know.” He shrugs and gives Jisung a small smile. Then he focuses back on his food too, joining other conversations in the circle easily.

Jisung blinks at the comment in confusion. He stuffs his mouth with mandu, awkwardly smiling. Minho doesn’t prank Jisung that much, does he? He can’t help but think that him and Changbin meant something completely different with their words.

Later when their bellies are full, they all help with clean up.

Frankly, Jisung is a little irritated by the fact that he still hasn’t gotten to catch up much with Minho. Jisung hasn’t even gotten to ask about being roommates for their trip yet, neither has he gotten to ask whether he can sleep over tonight. Instead he had ended up speaking more with Felix, who hadn’t even been sitting anywhere near him. They’d had to speak over the food and whoever had sat between them (Hyunjin and Seungmin) had to endure it. Jeongin, from next to Felix, told them to shut up and stop being so loud mid-conversation.

Just like that the last hours of the day have been passing by filled with talking, planning, eating and just hanging out. Nothing new for the eight of them. But also, no real progress on what Jisung has actually come here to do.

It is already reaching midnight.

So yeah, as anyone can imagine, he has ended up in a sulky mood after all.

Han Jisung isn’t a quitter though.

“Minho hyung!” he catches his target by the wrist and doesn’t let go despite his target almost immediately tugging to get free.

Minho looks at his captured wrist before he raises a brow at Jisung and stills – his expression has a bit of _How dare you?_ in it, which Jisung chooses to ignore. Minho has just been about to go into his room since he has already said his goodbyes and goodnights. Everyone else is busy. Whoever doesn’t live here is getting ready to leave somewhere in the background with Chan, Hyunjin and Changbin staying around to send them off.

Jisung tries to meet Minho’s eyes but he just looks away, “I was wondering if I can sleep over… Can I stay the night with you? Please?”

He sees Minho slowly start to shake his head tiredly, still not wanting to look at him.

Alright then, desperate times require desperate measures so Jisung makes his eyes wide and juts his bottom lip out. He moves closer into Minho’s bubble of personal space to try and make eye contact, “Pretty please, Minho hyung?”

For a split-second Minho meets his eyes. Minho looks away again only to roll his head back, turn back with a groan and finally hold his gaze. He looks frustrated when he asks, “Why are you asking _me_? Ask the others! I don’t care. Take the couch if you want to stay here so bad.”

“I told you already, I missed you! Plus, we haven’t had a sleepover in, like, forever!” Jisung whines, sliding his hand down Minho’s wrist to gently hold his hand with both of his hands. Jisung looks down – Minho’s hands are a little smaller than his, a secretly well-loved fact by Jisung – and softly caresses Minho’s knuckles with his thumbs. “I’m asking you because I wanna stay with _you_ , Minho hyung. I don’t want the couch.”

He feels like the _I want you_ swirling in his head for Minho is a little too much to say out loud, maybe, so he leaves it unspoken in the air instead.

Surprisingly, they don’t do it often. Sleeping together. (In the _literal_ sense of the word, mind you. It’s a sleepover.) Sleepovers are common amongst the eight of their friend group, but they usually end up in a whole cuddle bundle or get their own spaces to sleep with futons on the floor or the couch and rarely do two of them share a bed alone in a room together – it happens, no one minds and most of them are huge cuddlers. But it’s rare as far as Jisung knows.

Unlike the other physical-affection-loving members of their friend group, Lee Minho is not the type who openly likes to cuddle all the time and sleep together in a bed. He is very particular about physical contact, a little like Jeongin (they both enjoy it though, everyone knows them well enough by now). Only those close to him are allowed to touch. Sometimes Minho will let any touches happen, whether it be cuddling or hugs or holding hands or just leaning against him, but you better not make a big deal out of it.

Ah, but begging Minho for permission helps from time to time. Minho has his moods, then you’re allowed to touch him (and he may even touch you first), otherwise he’ll make sure you regret ever even having the idea. Fondly, Minho reminds Jisung of a cat.

Jisung looks up again, he meets Minho’s eyes that soften the longer they challengingly stare at each other.

As expected, Minho sighs in defeat, pulling his wrist away from Jisung’s hold and continuing his way to his bedroom. Jisung knows it’s a success even without having to hear Minho’s soft “fine” as he follows him to his room.

Jisung can barely control the bright grin that overtakes his face.

Minho moves inside his room, leaving the door behind him open for Jisung to follow, and goes to his closet to look for sleep wear, while Jisung closes the door behind him and looks around the familiar room. Without saying anything, Jisung sees Minho pull out an extra pair of sleep wear for him out of a yellow bundle too before he changes into his own first.

Minho’s room is much like Minho himself: comfortable, practical and versatile in the way that it looks neat, private and mature, but if you look closer, there are cute things and indicators of his softness around too. Like the few framed photos on the wall of his friends, family and cats back at home in Gimpo – Minho would probably scold him for saying ‘family and cats’ instead of just saying family and automatically including the cats in it, because he sees himself as an older brother to his cats. The three little white porcelain cat figures on the bookshelves are probably put there in thought of his cats Soonie, Doongie and Dori. On the desk is a notebook, a small black pencil case, a laptop and a few thick books stacked on top of it, most likely related to his zoology major or something that randomly caught his interest in the library. When Jisung moves closer he sees a lexicon for dinosaur species and thinks that could be either.

The bed they will sleep on is on the right corner of the room. A giant pink pig plushie – wait, that’s Jisung’s! He’s been wondering where he left his favourite piggy plush. He must’ve forgotten it here a while ago – and a Shin-Chan plushie are sitting side by side on the baby pink and white patterned sheets. A little white kitten plush sits on the bedside table. Just another cute thing about Lee Minho.

Clothes are wordlessly thrown in Jisung’s face, pulling him out of his thoughts, and Jisung barely catches them before they can fall onto the floor. “What was that for?” he asks bewildered, putting the clothes on the desk so he can take off his outfit. Oh man, he put so much effort into his appearance and nobody even complimented him on it (Minho, man, why didn’t you?).

What a waste.

“Disturbing my peace,” Minho answers him with his trademark soullessness, “I just wanna sleep, so hurry up and turn the lights off.” With that he makes himself comfortable on his bed by turning into a ball under the covers, turning his back to Jisung and the room.

“Alright, someone’s suddenly grumpy,” Jisung comments but gets no reply. He sighs. It’s probably because Minho usually likes to go to sleep early. Well, early compared to the rest of them. With all the extra work in the dance studio next to university stuff and life in general, Minho must be feeling quite drained. Jisung understands.

His shirt and leather jacket already hung on the desk chair, Jisung struggles out of his skin-tight jeans for a minute and hangs it on there too. Again, he thinks of how much of a waste it has turned out to be. Then he puts on the clothes Minho gave him; over-sized grey t-shirt and black sweatpants (of which Minho definitely has a whole collection of). An instant feeling of warmth washes over him even though the clothes are clean and devoid of warmth themselves. The clothes carry a little of Minho’s scent – lavender – either from using Febreeze as perfume or from their apartment’s shared laundry detergent. Or maybe it’s just Minho. Jisung smiles. To Jisung, Minho has always smelled like lavender and a little bit of, well, just _Minho_.

Finally, Jisung turns the lights off and makes his way over to the bed.

The weak moonlight coming through the window’s half-translucent white curtains softly illuminates Minho’s figure in the dark and makes his brown hair glow. The scene looks a little angelic, despite the fact that his back is turned to him. Maybe it’s _especially_ because his back is turned to him. Like that, Minho looks untouchable, glowing and sacred.

Slapping his cheeks a few times for that intense trail of thought Jisung deems inappropriate, he still hopes he’ll remember it later to turn into song lyrics.

Careful not to jostle Minho too much, he makes himself comfortable under the blanket and lays on his side. Again, like many times today, he ends up staring at Minho, although this time it’s the back of his fluffy haired head instead of his face.

“Are you sleeping?” Jisung whispers.

He gets no answer, but he just knows Minho isn’t sleeping yet. That’s not how Minho breathes in his sleep and it usually takes a few minutes or ten for him to actually fall into a slumber. With a finger Jisung taps on his shoulder a few times. “Minho hyung,” he calls in a whisper.

When he gets no answer again, he decides to just keep tapping.

“Alright, what is it?!” Minho whisper-yells and turns around in a little tantrum to face him, pissed off.

Jisung smiles, both in victory and amusement, “I still wanna talk to you, hyung.”

“I don’t wanna talk to you though?” Minho whispers incredulously. He actually looks sleepy and Jisung has to force down the guilt for keeping Minho awake. Slowly, Jisung’s smile disappears.

“I wanted to apologise,” Jisung mumbles into the quiet, breaking eye contact to stare at Minho’s chest instead. He suddenly feels shy, and honestly even embarrassed for his stupid actions. “For calling you clingy ‘n’ stuff.”

Minho stays quiet so he continues, “I’m not taking it back, but I should’ve worded the whole thing better and not cancel last-minute on you. I know you’re not mad, but I still wanted to, you know, let you know I’m sorry, so here I am… I’m sorry, Minho hyung. And I… really missed you, you know.”

Still, Minho keeps quiet. Between Jisung and Minho, silence never becomes uncomfortable and it isn’t now. But Jisung is nervous in a different way for some reason.

He plays with his fingers in front of him and then, to remind Minho that he should respond to his apology, he gently nudges Minho’s chest with a closed fist.

And, simply because he wants to, he splays his fingers flat out and keeps his hand there against his chest. It’s warm and comforting.

Under his shirt, Minho’s heartbeat is steady.

Carefully Jisung looks up.

Minho is already looking at him with a look he cannot decipher.

It’s not the first time that he sees this look on Minho directed towards him – one of the few things that Jisung can’t easily read Minho on. He doesn’t know what it means yet, but he surely will learn that, too, about Minho. Give it time.

All he knows right now is the way the moonlight shines against Minho’s features distractingly. Even Minho’s eyes look like they borrowed stars out of the night sky and the moon longs for them to come home – or maybe the moon is just admiring Minho, too, going all the way to hang in the sky so to perfectly shine inside Minho’s window, his eyes and on his body.

Like Jisung does, his own eyes trailing Minho’s face in barely hidden fascination. If anyone deserves to be adored by the moon, then it’s Minho.

“You’re so frustrating,” Minho sighs into the quiet when Jisung has just gotten to look at his lips. There’s no heat to it, nor in his gaze. He says it like it’s a simple fact. It sounds like a statement, separate from the context of Jisung’s apology.

Jisung looks back up into his eyes and gives a little shrug, “I guess so. You know how I am.”

“I do,” Minho softly says, like the words mean more than they are.

This time Minho doesn’t avoid him, instead he steadily holds Jisung’s gaze and adjusts to lay more comfortably, still on his side. They’re kind of close now, aren’t they? Jisung can count Minho’s lashes if he wants to, can vaguely see his own reflection in the other’s eyes. It makes Jisung’s heart speed up a little, suddenly hyperaware of every beat.

Under his palm, Minho’s heartbeat stays calm.

A little unfair if you ask Jisung.

“You still have eyeshadow on,” Minho’s lips quirk up a little, “Go wash it off.” It’s just a barely noticeable peachy glitter eyeshadow Jisung has never used before; at least that was somehow noticed about his appearance today. There’s still BB cream on his face too, which is probably bad for Jisung’s skin… and Minho’s sheets but Minho doesn’t need to know that.

Jisung childishly shakes his head and makes Minho chuckle a little with it. And Minho's chuckle makes Jisung smile. Jisung really doesn’t want to leave the warmth of the bed. He wants to stay here and keep looking into Minho’s dark eyes and see how many stars the moonlight has put in there. Maybe, he hopes, Minho finds something pretty to look at in Jisung’s eyes too.

Man, the effect ~~Minho~~ pretty people can have on ~~him~~ others.

“Why are you so pretty, hyung?” Jisung asks. He only looks away from Minho’s eyes to let his own travel around the rest of his face again. Away from Minho’s eyes, in favour of nose, cheeks, brows and lips. Jisung could probably do this all night – lay here and admire – and if Minho feels up to it, Jisung could listen to him talk about anything. “It’s so distracting. I think you’re frustrating too.” He sighs, longing for something he isn’t sure what it is. Maybe Jisung just wants to have lips like Minho’s.

Under his palm, he thinks Minho’s heart has skipped a beat. Or maybe it was his own because Minho’s calmly goes on when Jisung presses his palm a little more against his chest to check.

“Good night, Jisung.”

Jisung’s hand falls off when Minho turns back around, calm and sluggish. Jisung thinks it’s a little abrupt of an ending to the night but he takes it, because he’s sure Minho is tired and sleepy, and the early sleeper deserves his long-awaited sleep.

One last time, a burst of affection makes him reach out for his friend.

Jisung embraces Minho’s waist from behind and pulls him as close as he can (a tiny surprised noise leaves Minho) so their bodies are pressed together, chest to back. Then Jisung puts a leg over Minho’s and pulls him close from there, too. It’s been a while since he has felt Minho like this, so close and all around. He nuzzles into the back of Minho’s neck, inhaling his lavender scent, and stays there.

It feels like coming home. Not the type of feeling he gets when he visits his family in Malaysia, nor the type of feeling he gets when he arrives back in his dorm after a long day of classes.

It’s the type of Coming Home to write about. It’s the type of Coming Home Jisung writes his songs about.

It’s the type of special feeling Jisung only gets when Minho is around.

“Goodnight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#3 P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Han Jisung  
>  **Birthday:** 14\. September, 2000  
>  **Occupation:** Music Production Major (2nd Semester)  
>  **Hobbies:** watching anything online, writing lyrics, staying in bed with his phone  
>  **Other (1) :** dorm roommates with Jeongin, unofficial ice americano fanclub with Minho, wants to solve everything with hugs and kisses, actually quite popular but doesn't like talking to strangers
> 
> * * *
> 
> oh what do we do about these fools...  
> let me know your thoughts about the story in the comments!  
> i'd love to hear what you think no matter what it is. it's very motivating! ☆


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm like TT, just like TT  
> 이런 내 맘 모르고 너무해 너무해  
> I'm like TT, just like TT

  
The following Friday has a half-empty travel bus filled with eight excited young men, a mother with twin girls, two couples, a lone man and a tired bus driver on the road. The bus ride to the prefecture, where the ski resort awaits them, is filled with quiet conversations and the polite wish not to disturb any of the strangers they share the vehicle with. Two out of the expected five hours till arrival have already passed, so there may be a small break soon.

“I still don’t understand why you’re sitting with me,” Hyunjin complains to his seat neighbour.

This morning they had left the house at 7 o’clock so they could be punctual for boarding the travel bus, which left Seoul at 7:45. Hyunjin had planned to sit next to Seungmin for the ride, but instead he had ended up with Jisung. Said boy is currently staring off into space with a tired expression – probably because of lack of sleep but also because his own plans, Hyunjin bets, to sit next to Minho had been foiled.

Jisung sighs, “Jeongin sits with Seungmin. Felix and Changbin hyung sit together, and Minho hyung and Chan hyung, too. Apparently, they all promised each other to sit together even before we even chose a date for the trip. It’s not like I had a choice in this.”

“Well, there are still enough empty seats available,” Hyunjin hums and immediately dodges Jisung’s incoming fist. “I’m joking.”

He lays his head on Jisung’s shoulder and makes himself more comfortable in his seat. Sucks enough that Jisung has the window seat and Hyunjin has the aisle seat. Today just isn’t Hyunjin’s day. With a hand he goes through his long raven hair and fixes his fringe before looking out the window.

They are in a random nature area with pieces of civilisation passing once every 15 minutes tops. Far and wide there’s only trees and fields to see. If they were left to their own devices, they would probably straight up die, especially with no phone service in the area, judging by the empty connection bars displayed on his smartphone.

“I’ll forgive you for a kiss.”

“Gross.”

“Okay.

Hyunjin rolls his eyes in exasperation. Not just because Jisung tries to fix everything with kisses and hugs – that’s something their whole group of friends is kind of used to by now.

If there is one thing Hyunjin regrets this fine morning, it’s probably the fact that he has only gotten 3 hours of sleep last night. The reason for that is one of his professors, who had announced a last-minute essay on a 20-page article he had sent everyone per e-mail. Last minute means he announced it yesterday evening and set the deadline to four in the damn morning, knowing damn well they’d suffer through it. Even with Chan’s attempt to help, reading the article was a chore in itself, then understanding it and then – let’s stop here for the sake of Hyunjin’s sanity. The scanned PDF photocopy of the 20-page article – Hyunjin can show you in his e-mails – looks like it was taken by a broken photocopy machine in 1959.

1959 because in 1959 commercial xerographic office photocopying was introduced for the first time. How Hyunjin knows something like that you wonder? Out of pure spite he looked it up.

When he had finally finished the paper, his brain had taken its sweet time to calm down enough to let him fall asleep.

He should’ve had ditched the assignment. Hyunjin hates that professor with a burning passion.

The 3-day-2-nights trip is something they should all appreciate. Bless Seungmin’s pure soul for inviting them all on his coupon, each paying way less than the price would have been otherwise. Hyunjin can already see himself sitting in a steamy hot spring to let his muscles relax.

Maybe he can teach Seungmin how to ski. He doesn’t know if Seungmin can ski, but Hyunjin is prepared if not. He’ll lead Seungmin, be a great teacher and stuff. After a few rounds on the snow-bound tracks they can all have a nice warm meal together. He wonders whether he should ask Seungmin out for an evening at one of the bars. Apparently, they have a couple’s special, alcoholic and non-alcoholic versions, and what better way to be romantic than to get the couple’s special together on a candle lit dinner night? If that has any chances of success, then Hyunjin will definitely sleep well and happy for the rest of the year. Which reminds him…

“Are we deciding roommates there?” Hyunjin sits up and nudges Jisung beside him who’s been nodding off, “We planned everything, but we didn’t talk about roommates, did we?”

Jisung looks as confused as he is. They blink at each other in their shared confusion before Hyunjin watches Jisung’s mouth fall open and expression twist in pure anguish and the younger suddenly looks like he just remembered that he left the stove on at the dorms.

(Jeongin will kill him if that’s the case.)

Helplessly Jisung looks around with raised arms, not knowing what to do with them and then dropping them, looking at Hyunjin for direction.

“Oh my god, what is it? Spit it out, so I can help you!” Hyunjin whispers, scared but ready to jump into action.

Jisung’s bottom lips trembles for a second.

“I forgot to ask Minho hyung to be my roommate…” Jisung quietly squeaks out and he looks very disappointed in himself and woah, honestly? So is Hyunjin. This is such an opportunity and Jisung is wasting it. As always!

Frustrated, Hyunjin runs his fingers through his hair again. “You had an entire week to ask him!” he scolds his friend and whacks his arm too.

Jisung rubs the sore spot with a pout, “I’ll ask Minho hyung when we’re there, I guess. I’ve been planning to ask him since day one, dude. I don’t know how I got distracted.”

Hyunjin remembers immediately what that distraction could have possible been. He scoffs, “Woah, Minho hyung sleeps with you once and you immediately lose the single brain cell you have by the experience.”

“Hey, don’t make it sound so dirty!”

Hyunjin smirks and deeply sing-songs, “It had you satisfied for an en~tire week and Minho hyung didn’t even stay around for you to wake up.” He bursts into laughter at the blush that spreads across Jisung’s chastising expression.

“Dude, you sound like a pervert! Ugh, _anyway_ , sure it would’ve been nice to wake up with him but Minho hyung’s busy so I didn’t mind,” Jisung frowns at him and then pouts, crossing his arms over his chest and looking down to his lap, “And what’s another week of not seeing him? We can’t stay in contact all the time.” Seeing Hyunjin raise a smug brow at his words, he quickly adds on, “Not that I want to. Because I don’t… Hyunjin, I’m warning you, don’t make it weird.”

Hyunjin gives him a half-hearted hum in response and ignores him when he scrambles to make Hyunjin understand.

The morning after Jisung had slept over – which Hyunjin had somehow only found out that morning (How had he not noticed that Jisung hadn’t left with the others?!), imagine his shock – with everyone else, including Jisung, still asleep, Minho had quietly made a delicious breakfast for everyone and then left for the dance studio. At least that is where Minho had told them he went when they had asked where he had been all day.

By the feast he had left behind for them Hyunjin had genuinely thought Minho had left them behind for good, for other roommates even. It had looked delicious enough to be one last goodbye meal. Honestly, in his sleepy state Hyunjin had almost cried (making Jisung panic with him) if it hadn’t been for Chan’s reassuring words: apparently Minho had already texted Chan he would be leaving early that Sunday for the dance studio.

The rest of the week had gone by like the last one with only minor differences.

No Minho for anyone, except for Felix and Hyunjin who had dance practice with him (much to Hyunjin’s relief due to earlier worries) and for Chan and Changbin who had eaten lunch with him in their shared free periods. No Chan either, except for Changbin and Minho for reason see above, because he had been very busy with a new project too. But, well, Chan is always busy somehow.

Most importantly: no Hwang Hyunjins were hurt in the making of the week. The biggest difference being that Jisung, the tiny loud one of their squad had been like an energised puppy – ah no, energised _squirrel_ – for the whole week until they reached Friday, which is today. Jisung had vehemently denied (again) any association with his mood and the whole sleeping together with Minho thing but Hyunjin knows better.

Anyone would know better if they had to listen to Jisung gushing over Minho and boasting about all the things he knows about their hyung, for hours. (Also stuff like: “He was so pretty under the moonlight, Hyunjin, it’s so annoying!”) It’s fair though, because Hyunjin gushes over Seungmin just the same and Jisung has to listen to Hyunjin too.

Another bus ride hour later Jisung asks him, “Are you gonna room with Seungmin?”

“I hope so,” Hyunjin grins, excited and hopeful.

It’s already noon when they finally reach their destination.

The snowy landscape looks beautiful. The mountains are high and wide, glowing with the sunlight. From here, the heart of the resort, several tracks can be seen. There are people out and about; skiing, snowboarding, taking a walk, snowball fights between kids, hot drinks on the patio of a restaurant in the close distance following a wood cottage aesthetic, and more. The air is cool but clean. From this far, the scattered resort guests, thanks to their colourful winter wear, look like rainbow ants.

Nice.

Turning away from the scenery, Hyunjin looks at what his friends are doing amidst the beauty.

By the travel bus and their luggage is Hyunjin himself standing, hands in the thick black skiing jacket he had found in the back of his closet only days ago as he lets his eyes wander. Next to him, Jisung and Jeongin are still mesmerised by the new place and looking around with wide excited eyes. Meanwhile Seungmin, Felix and Minho are having a little snowball fight and laugh brightly amongst their fun, accompanied by the occasional shrieks and yelling. Especially Felix looks like he has the time of his life. Idly standing by the side, a safe distance away from the war zone, stand Chan and Changbin who watch them play with soft smiles. Funny enough, they somehow manage to look like proud parents despite their young age.

 _Peace was never an option_ – Hyunjin imagines – is what Minho is thinking when he creeps up behind an unassuming Changbin. In Minho’s cupped hands is a huge amount of snow for his small hand size. Hyunjin smiles cheekily, knowing what’s going to happen next and turns back to his two friends beside him.

There is a scream (Changbin), followed by loud laughter (everyone else, minus Changbin). Then a shriek and loud whining (Minho) and more laughter (everyone, especially Changbin).

Hyunjin thinks today must be a good day. Karma for his good honest work on his essay maybe?

As it turns out, barely 20 minutes later, he’s wrong: Luck is not his friend today and Karma isn’t real. They are in the lobby of the resort’s hotel when Hyunjin finds that out.

There is only Chan waiting for them.

“What do you mean Seungmin is rooming with you and Felix?” Hyunjin is borderline yelling at Chan in absolute astonishment and betrayal. Call him dramatic – many people do – but he has been looking forward to rooming with Seungmin a _lot_. Everyone knew that, alright?

In contrast, Jeongin shrugs in mild annoyance, while Jisung only half-listens as he leisurely looks around the cosy yet fancy lobby in fascination. Additionally, the floor-to-ceiling windows remind them of the cold winter beauty outside.

Chan nods, like the patient and kind man he is, “After you three went to the toilet, the others didn’t feel like waiting so we just.” He ends the sentence there and shrugs.

“Thank you for being the only one waiting for us, hyung,” Jeongin smiles sweetly, “Which idiot am I roommates with?”

Chan gestures at Hyunjin and Jisung, then throws the room key over. It makes Jeongin cringe, but he catches the room key anyway, “Ah, great. Both.”

“Wait,” Jisung holds up a hand and owlishly blinks at Chan, only now registering what the whole thing means as he finally pays proper attention, “Why are we organised by 3-3-2? Why are Minho hyung and Changbin hyung the two left?”

Hyunjin sighs at the question, just like Chan does.

Albeit with an exasperated expression, Chan answers and makes sure to tell the whole story because he knows otherwise Jisung will just keep asking questions, “The resort gave us two rooms for three people and one room for a couple. The room for two people is a special honeymoon suite, because it was mentioned on the coupon and also, the only one left to make all eight of us fit the room schedule. It appears that Minho and Changbin already promised to be each other’s roommate for the trip so the only question was if they would room in a three-person room with one of us or the couple’s room. Long story short: we played rock-paper-scissors.”

Jisung stares in a mix of disbelief and resignation, his mouth falling open.

Chan blinks at his expression before nodding, lips pressed into a thin smile, “Yup.”

Jisung closes his mouth and dejectedly grabs his luggage, mumbling something about wanting to write down everything so he will never forget anything ever again. (Hyunjin believes he won’t go through with that one though, because that, too, he will forget.)

Hyunjin and Jeongin follow to do the same. And with that Chan escorts them to their room 216. As it is, Chan, Felix and Seungmin reside in 215 while Minho and Changbin got the honeymoon suite at the end of the corridor, 217.

As the most responsible among them Chan informs them that they can do whatever they want for the rest of the day, but everyone should be down at the lobby for dinner by six.

They decide to unpack first and then later go explore or maybe bother their friends and check their rooms out.

The three get a little distracted here and there, never quite finishing unpacking properly. It’s only a matter of time before they find themselves knocking on the first door. Hyunjin, despite wanting to go ask Seungmin to go check out the hot springs nearby with him, goes along with Jisung’s unspoken wishes as moral support.

(He lost rock-paper-scissors to Jisung.)

Also, Jeongin really wants to see the couple’s room. Understandable, since the room might be special and romantic. Out of the corner of his eyes Hyunjin sees Jisung nervously wipe his hands on his jeans, before putting them in his pockets. Little dude tries so hard to look unbothered, it almost makes Hyunjin laugh. But Hyunjin can’t laugh. They’re both in the same predicament: they both lost their ideal roommate and it’s all their own fault.

“Jeongin, you knock,” Jisung pushes the youngest forward, “You wanted to come here.”

Jeongin just blinks (despite Jisung clearly having said he wants to visit this room just a few minutes ago) and shrugs, “Sure” and knocks three times.

The door opens only a minute after a loud thud sounds from the room and reveals a dishevelled Changbin. His dark hair, probably still a little wet from Minho’s snow attack earlier, in disarray and black hoodie twisted and crumbled, looking like someone has been pulling on it just moments before. Huh. Hyunjin narrows his eyes at all of those things. He checks whether Jisung has taken notice too and nods to himself when he sees the other look at the hoodie in confusion.

“Changbin hyung, why do you look like someone mauled you?” Jeongin is the one that asks, taking the words right out of Hyunjin’s mouth.

“I don’t know if you guys remember but thanks to Minho’s prank I was wet all over my back, so I wanted to take a shower after unpacking,” Changbin explains with a sigh and pouts, “before I could leave, I was attacked again.”

“We had a body conversation!” Minho cheekily yells from somewhere inside the room and before Hyunjin can push his way into the room, Jisung pushes past all of them like it’s his own room.

Rude, but Changbin lets him and ushers them inside too. He sighs and then clarifies Minho’s words, “We ended up _wrestling_. I don’t know how long we were at it, but some point he pulled my hoodie off. Then there was a knock on the door. I fell off the bed, threw my hoodie back on and here we are! A mess. I think I even got some bruises…”

Jeongin laughs at the story and asks who the stronger one is, which Changbin only gives a vague answer to.

Hyunjin laughs too but can’t help but think the story sounds kind of weird. But then again, it’s Minho. Minho has a reputation for being weird. Minho with Changbin? They are usually weird together too, so Hyunjin doesn’t really have a reason not to believe the ridiculous story. While Minho likes to bother Hyunjin, he also likes to bother Changbin (honestly, all vice-versa). They do wrestle back in their apartment in Seoul a lot too after all – Hyunjin likes to keep out of it if he can, or well, if Minho lets him keep out of it (they’re buff compared to Hyunjin and actually have martial arts experience, so it’s not his fight and never voluntarily will be) but on good days, the two have an easy time dragging Chan into it too.

When Minho finally appears in sight, he’s laying on the only bed in the room in a manner that suggests ‘ _Draw me like one of your French girls_ ’. Hyunjin will not, thank you very much. He hasn’t even watched that movie.

Additionally, Jisung is already sitting next to Minho on the bed, taking in the room.

“You guys have a queen size bed?!” Jeongin excitedly jumps on the bed, successfully knocking both Minho and Jisung over and sprawling his limbs out, exhaling in bliss, “And it’s so comfortable too! Can we switch rooms, please?”

“The bed’s comfy but the décor… isn’t it too much?” Jisung grimaces at the rose petals on the bed and floor, then vaguely gestures at the whole room.

“It’s a honeymoon suite,” Minho responds to him with a shrug when he finally sits up on the corner of the bed, tapping a finger on top of the bedside table, “I honestly expected worse, so I don’t mind.”

The honeymoon suite does its name justice by looking exactly like that. The whole room and its furniture follow a cosy theme fit for winter; would look like it’s out of a cheesy Christmas romcom but it’s not Christmas and there is no chimney nor Christmas décor. All the colour accents are either red or pink, next to beige, white, creme and brown wood designs. There are hearts in weird places and candles too. As an interior design major Hyunjin must admit it’s fitting and not bad, although quite kitschy. Not really Hyunjin’s style but it makes sense for the honeymoon setting and mood.

“Look our room service phone looks like a heart! Oh, and a hotel lady greeted us with a gift package that had couple socks with hearts on them for us,” Minho excitedly shows them both the phone on the bedside table and the heart-patterned socks he is currently wearing by throwing his leg in the air, showing off his flexibility, “And there are co–” – “Yeah!” Changbin interrupts him and pushes Minho away from the bedside table to sit on that side of the bed, chuckling nervously as he holds onto his knees, “There was cotton candy for us too!”

Minho simply laughs with a glint in his eyes indicating he knows something they don’t. He looks like – no, this is Minho hyung – he, for a fact, absolutely enjoys making Changbin squirm with whatever information he is withholding. Just look at the way Changbin eyes him with caution.

In turn both Jisung and Hyunjin eye their suspicious behaviour, hopefully thinking the same thing, before glancing at each other then back to Changbin and Minho then back to each other and then to the bedside table and then back to each other resolutely.

“Why are you two making such weird faces? What are you looking at?” Jeongin frowns from his sprawled position behind Minho, his own eyes having followed their line of vision but coming up clueless.

It all happens in a flash.

“I’ll hold them down, go!” is all Hyunjin shouts at Jisung before he throws his entire body onto Minho and Changbin with no hesitation, both completely caught off guard in the moment and going down on the bed like bowling pins. There are multiple groans of pain. Hyunjin barely manages to see Jisung jump towards the bedside table like a screaming ninja, bend down to pull everything out the bedside table’s drawers and then come back up. But Hyunjin can see neither his expression nor the items in question from this position, “Do you have whatever it is?”

Jisung does not say a word, body frozen.

Minho seems to be able to see well enough from his squished position under both Hyunjin and Changbin, because he wheezes out a laugh from down there, in between grunts of pain. The bodies on top of him rustle and, oh, hold on.

Jeongin?

“I want to kill you,” Jeongin forces out his mouth, sounding like he’s barely breathing at the bottom of their pile. He confirms it, “I feel like… if I try to… breathe properly… my body will be completely crushed…”

Oh no. Poor Jeongin! Hyunjin immediately moves away to stand, Changbin shuffles away to where he was sitting before and lastly, Jeongin pushes Minho, who is still in a laughing fit, away to finally breathe again. “I almost died!” he whines, holding onto his chest and getting his breath back. Then looks up and sees the items Jisung holds in each of his hands. He doesn’t look like he has a clue yet.

Finally, Hyunjin checks it out, too.

Jisung is completely frozen, stuck blankly staring at the items in his raised hands. Hyunjin is reminded of those confused math memes Felix shows him sometimes.

In his right hand Jisung holds a baby pink bottle with a cute sparkly label on it and in his left hand is a glass jar, missing a lid, full of condoms in red and pink packages. Minho is still cackling in the background like some villain with a high-pitched voice and Changbin’s face and ears are so red that he tries to hide behind his arms.

“All I wanted was to spare you from the awkwardness,” Changbin mumbles from behind his biceps, clearly feeling embarrassed.

It really should not be that shocking to find those types of things in a honeymoon suite though. Who knows what else is hidden in this room? Now that Hyunjin thinks about it, they should have expected exactly that. Also, the lube label actually has a really cute design; if Hyunjin didn’t know better he’d think it’s a hand cream or something.

“I didn’t because I don't care. Either way, no need to attack us for it,” Minho adds, laughter finally dying down as he leans back on his hands with a smug grin, “Binnie is shy. Take some if you need some though. No glove no love, everyone.” He looks at everyone as if to check on them before his eyes settle on Jisung last.

Jisung still has not moved.

A little bit of worry shines through Minho’s expression, but his body language says he’s still the most comfortable one in the room, “Hannie, you alright?”

“Huh?” Jisung finally snaps out of it and looks up, meeting Minho’s eyes and audibly gulps. The blood in his body catches up on the situation and colours his trademark cheeks pink. “ _Oh._ Yeah. Yeah. I. I am fine. Are you? Because I am. Fine, I mean. Yes, I’m ok.”

Minho’s blinking habit and the tilt of his head make Jisung take a cautious step away from him and the bed. It has Minho almost radiating the same innocence clueless Jeongin’s same actions behind him do. Jisung is probably dying from his… (for lack of better words because this is as honest as it gets) … attraction for Minho and the wild thoughts invading his mind regarding Minho combined with those objects in his hands.

Judging by his expression, something clicks in Minho’s mind.

In the next moment, Minho’s lips curl up into a sly – dare Hyunjin say – seductive smirk. The one he uses when he showcases a sexy-themed choreography. Dark eyes half-lidded, he raises a brow at Jisung, whose breath hitches automatically at the sexy (again, even Hyunjin can admit) sight before him.

Minho winks and keeps looking at Jisung. The wink has Jisung softly but audibly gasping and looking even more timid, forgetting his usual spiel of disgust in response to Minho’s winks. Minho definitely enjoys whatever he’s doing to Jisung there.

The interaction almost makes Hyunjin groan in annoyance. He quickly figures that this is one of those weird moments where the soulmate duo is lost in their own world, so he decides not to disturb them and turns away with an eye roll. The whole thing feels like it is supposed to be private anyway, and not just because of the lube and condoms Jisung still hasn’t put down. Fuckin’ weirdo. They're both fucking weird.

There’s tension in the air only between Minho and Jisung.

A little bored, Hyunjin looks over at Jeongin who watches the scene with an exasperated expression now, then at Changbin, who still has his face hidden in his hands, ears still red though not as much as before. Changbin slowly peeks through his fingers at the oldest here and whines, finally having found the strength to speak through his embarrassment, “Hyung, don’t just offer a bunch of virgins that stuff!”

Whatever spell Jisung was under breaks.

Jisung passionately throws both the glass container with the condoms and the baby pink bottle of lube right at Minho without looking away from Minho even once. The victim of the sudden onslaught simply closes his eyes with a frown, condoms falling out the open glass container all over him.

Though, the force of the glass container meeting his shoulder elicits a quiet pained grunt from him.

Jisung yells and points an accusing finger at him, “Exactly! Poor Jeongin! Do you have no shame, Minho hyung?!”

“Yeah, poor _Jeongin_ ,” Hyunjin mocks under his breath, shaking his head. Like Jisung and Hyunjin definitely aren’t virgins themselves.

Minho sighs as he opens his eyes again, naturally making eye contact with Jisung in front of him first. Nonchalantly he raises a brow again, this time mildly annoyed (doesn’t make him look any less hot, to be honest) by the mess around him, “Don’t virgins especially need that type of stuff?” Well... technically he isn't wrong.

Jisung looks a little offended at that but at the same time cowers a little at the blunt rhetoric question, and Changbin finally takes his hands away from his face with a chuckle, both of them still a little flushed from the whole situation.

“I guess that’s true,” Changbin admits with a carefully teasing smile. Then he gets up from the bed and picks up the risky items thrown all over Minho, who gives him a grateful smile, so he can put them back into the drawer.

Once Changbin is finished, he turns to the three youngest men in the room with a forced grin, hands folded in front of him, “Safe sex is important.” He awkwardly clears his throat and rubs his neck all the while trying to be reassuring, “Take some if you need any of… that… Just, uh… Don’t tell me… I mean if you need advice – no wait, don’t come to me for that either. Uh. Yeah. Just best ask, uh, Chan hyung if you want to talk about this stuff, ok? I’ll go take my shower now!”

Minho watches him leave in amusement, while Hyunjin, Jisung and Jeongin are left cringing at the awkward ending. Changbin almost trips on the way to the bathroom and accidently slams the door closed a little too hard.

“Well, this is a terrible experience so far.”

Jeongin is right. Hyunjin vehemently agrees, while Jisung looks like he needs to sit down. He does, on the floor by the bed to slump against it and Minho fondly pats his head to try and comfort him, which instantly makes Jisung lean into his touch. Jisung looks up at him with wide eyes, and just keeps looking.

“If you need help with anything, I’ll gladly be _of service_ ,” Minho offers with a smirk, looking at each of them before settling once again on Jisung and giving him a wink. He definitely means he’ll actually be there for advice like a good hyung, but this is Minho and he wouldn’t skip on the opportunity to offer a flirty innuendo.

Jisung simply gasps again and straightens up, a hand over his open mouth and an arm attempting to cover his (literally clothed) body. But hey no answer is an answer too, Jisung did not decline.

Oh Jisung, your romantic privilege is showing. Just take up the damn offer. Minho might just make it real for you.

Hyunjin would like to scream but he is a civil person – for now. The eight of their friend group have come to this resort for relaxation and fun after all. He sighs and sits down next to Minho to throw an arm around his shoulders and tell him honestly, “Hyung, if Jisung won’t take the chance and my love life stays unsuccessful, someday I’m sure I will take up that offer.”

In the background Jeongin fakes retching noises.

Jisung on the other hand, of course, looks appalled. He would never admit his jealousy but it sure is showing when he says, “Why would you do that? Don’t get dirty thoughts about Minho hyung. If anything, I should be the one getting his help. Don’t be selfish, Hyunjin.”

“Yeah, don’t be selfish, Hyunjin hyung,” Jeongin sarcastically repeats and rolls his eyes. At this point Hyunjin believes Jeongin is also aware of Jisung’s buried feelings. One more ally! You’re doing great, sweetie.

Minho lightly holds onto Hyunjin’s hand on his shoulder and playfully smiles at Hyunjin when Hyunjin looks at him because of the touch. Minho opens his smiling lips to speak but Hyunjin’s view is immediately blocked by a hand. “No way, I’m against this!” Jisung protests. It’s his hand, from his seat down on the floor, and he resolutely glares daggers at the both of them as he squishes himself between Minho’s thighs and then circles his arms tightly around Minho’s waist to hold onto him.

Minho chuckles and gets back to petting Jisung’s hair again with the hand that held Hyunjin’s a moment before. “It’s fine, it’s fine,” Minho hums, responding way too fondly for the joke and Jisung immediately leans into his touch again.

“ _Ugh_ ,” Hyunjin says with a lot of feeling, “I do all the work and Jisung gets all the rewards.”

But Jisung isn’t listening, just lovingly staring up at the ultimate crush of his youth. While Minho barely spares Hyunjin a short fake-apologetic glance and a chuckle before going back to staring, just as lovingly, back.

“Love isn’t fair,” Jeongin is smiling when he says this, knowing only Hyunjin is actually listening, popping up next to Hyunjin and letting his legs fall of the edge of the bed as he sits there, “But hey, you’re like cupid! These two are just stupid.”

“I’m really not,” Hyunjin groans quietly at the rhyme but moves to make himself comfortable on the bed and ignore the romantic movie basically playing right beside him. Jisung better be grateful for having such a great supportive friend; Hyunjin is doing all the work for this budding relationship and it isn’t even his own!

Jeongin joins him (Hyunjin gladly cuddles the youngest) and asks how long he thinks Jisung will stay on the floor, how long Minho will let Jisung hold him because Minho’s posture looks uncomfortable as hell and to please never talk about the honeymoon room ‘benefits’ again.

In the end they all attempt to chill as they wait for Changbin to finish his shower. Five minutes after the whole fiasco Minho shoves Jisung away from him, complaining about his back hurting from sitting like that for so long and with that Jisung stays on the floor. So everyone, except Jisung who is still seated on the floor and left alone to lean against the bed (his own choice by the way), is sprawled on the queen size bed, random limbs atop each other’s. All four of them tapping away on their smartphones as they play a multiplayer game.

An unspoken agreement between all four not to mention the ‘honeymoon benefits’ incident is made.

When Changbin finally finishes his shower and comes out, newly dressed in comfortable warm clothes and hair blow dried, they leave the honeymoon suite to get Chan, Felix and Seungmin to join them.

Soon they find no one opening that door. Since Chan, Felix and Seungmin are not in their hotel room anymore, the other five set out to explore the rest of the hotel in their group of five.

Minho, Changbin, Hyunjin, Jisung and Jeongin check out the balcony on their level then move on to the rest of the hotel; the souvenir mini shops, the rooftop and its café, a little arcade, where they play for a while, and there is a casino they only pass by.

At some point they grow tired. Understandable after a five-hour bus ride, unpacking and exploring without a break (plus wrestling for Changbin and Minho). The five of them have decided to go to the lobby early and just wait there for Chan, Felix and Seungmin, wherever they might be.

Well, so much for Hyunjin’s plans to go exploring with Seungmin…

But Hyunjin shall not dwell on losses too much. So! Onto more important matters. His dear friend Jisung has been a little too quiet and forcing laughs left and right the whole time.

It’s time to talk.

Hyunjin hangs back a little, walking slower, and nudges Jisung to do the same while Minho, Changbin and Jeongin keep walking and talking amongst themselves. Minho checks on them over his shoulder for a moment, setting a responsible example, then turns back to his conversation with Changbin and Jeongin.

“So,” Hyunjin starts and dumps the rest of what he wants to ask right on top of it, making sure to keep his voice down enough so the others won’t hear them, “You ok? Why was the dude who definitely wrote a few sexy-themed songs before so embarrassed about a few condoms and lube? We’re university students, so I’m sure you’ve seen worse. I mean, I know you’re a virgin, but your reaction was really something there.”

Jisung looks like he wants to hit him – okay understandable – but holds back, “Don’t remind me of that.” Jisung doesn’t mind being a virgin, it’s about the songs (they're unpublished for a reason, mind you).

“Just answer the question,” Hyunjin raises his brows and juts his chin out at him, although he pretty much knows already.

“Fine,” Jisung sighs in reluctance and looks down as he puts his hands forcibly inside his pockets, “My brain just went haywire about it. That’s it.”

“Elaborate.”

“ _Dude_ ,” Jisung whisper yells and his ears are glowing red. He looks up, glares at Minho’s back before he forces his eyes away and down. He starts quietly blabbering, frowning, “The hell do you think I imagined? Finding those things in Minho hyung’s room? That realisation alone was shock enough for my brain to go _places_ with it _._ Like how he would...” Jisung shivers. “But… he’s sharing that room with Changbin hyung. The bed too. Changbin hyung opening the door looking like he got mauled and then me finding _that_ stuff there? Does the damn jar even have a lid in the first place, or did they take it off? And Minho hyung said ‘body conversation’, which we all know can mean anything for us so who knows. _And_ he called Changbin hyung shy in that context, which, too, could mean _anything_. I just… I needed a moment. I still do to be honest, because now I keep ending up imagining weird stuff when I look at Minho hyung for too long. So bothersome…”

Hyunjin gasps softly and stops.

A short moment later Jisung notices and turns around to him. “What?” he asks, finally letting his bad mood shine through completely.

So he’s kept quiet the whole time because of that, huh. Unsurprisingly, Jisung himself doesn’t even notice how much focus he’s putting on Minho here (hey, if it were that bad then he would have trouble looking at Changbin too, alright?). Anyway, Hyunjin is pretty sure their hyungs have done nothing of the sort Jisung implied there and they were really wrestling. But! How do the poets say? No law in love and war? Or something? Whatever.

Jisung doesn’t understand why there is a huge grin spreading on Hyunjin’s face.

Reluctantly Jisung continues to talk to try and defend himself, probably thinking that Hyunjin is making fun of him (he is, but that’s not the point). His voice is quiet and insecure, “Hyunjin, I’m not dumb or that innocent. I knew we’d find something weird in a honeymoon suite, but I was expecting, I dunno, alcohol or those underwear sets people give couples for their weddings, you know? _I know_ the two of them wouldn’t do anything like that together, ok? I mean, I think? It’s just… I’ll… never get these… _thoughts_ out of my head now…” With both of his hands he roughly ruffles his hair. “I had to force down the most confusing boner of my entire life… Minho hyung’s behaviour just made everything worse. It’s straight up burned behind my eyelids. Did you see his wink? I felt like I was going to puke.”

Yes, Hyunjin had seen both Minho’s wink and Jisung’s reaction, which had 'Whipped And At His Lover’s Mercy' written all over it especially after Hyunjin had played the jealousy game. Hyunjin would know if puke was going to be involved because he had, unfortunately, seen Jisung puke twice already in their years of friendship. Hyunjin just wants the best for him, really, as funny as he finds the whole thing – like, _that’s_ your most confusing boner? Your interpretation of your boner for Minho is the most confusing thing here! And don't act like you never got a boner because of Minho before! Hyunjin will not speak of it to spare Jisung’s dignity for once.

Anyway...

Maybe this is the final push Jisung needs for him to realise his feelings.

This is way better, more honest and more morally acceptable than the plan him and Felix had thought of last time: they had wanted to lock Minho and Jisung inside a small broom closet at their dance studio for an entire night, like people do in movies – luckily they hadn’t had the chance to do that, since Minho and Jisung (especially Minho) would have probably murdered them afterwards. And Chan would have scolded them. Nobody likes disappointing Chan and getting scolded by him. So yeah, this is great.

Like the villain in a cliché movie, Hyunjin moves closer to his more-or-less-innocent friend, “And how does that make you feel, Han Jisung? The thought of Minho hyung doing _those type of things_? With Changbin hyung?”

And Jisung is an honest person. Well, not always, not really. But right now, he is. He stares at his hands in defeat, “I don’t know? Not good?”

“You looked quite angry when you explained your thoughts?” Hyunjin offers, mimicking the antagonist from a k-drama he’s been watching lately, “Are you perhaps angry? Maybe sad?”

Maybe jealous?

Jisung makes a grimace and stares at his open hands like they might have answers, “Maybe? It doesn’t feel like the anger or sadness I know. Feels kind of new, maybe like both? I think I've felt this before but I don't know what it means,” Innocently Jisung lifts his head and looks at him with the utmost puppy eyes slowly widening in worry.

Hyunjin grins and gestures for him to go on. Come on, you can do it, Han Jisung!

“Oh no, Hyunjin, am I… homophobic?”

_I'm like TT, just like TT_   
_이런 내 맘 모르고 너무해 너무해_   
_I'm like TT, just like TT_

Hyunjin feels dead inside, wants to hit Jisung and himself for thinking Jisung could do this on his own. But Hyunjin is not a fan of violence and his days of wanting to fist fight Jisung are long over. He picks up his phone, cutting off the strangely fitting looping lyrics of his ringtone, “Hello?”

“Hey, where are you? Is Jisung with you? You two were suddenly gone. Minho hyung said there’s no need to worry but still, you’re not lost, are you?” It’s Changbin.

Hyunjin eyes the pitiful sight of Jisung with absolute distaste and crosses his arms, before he answers with a sigh, “Don’t worry about us, hyung, we got distracted. Let’s meet in the lobby.”

“Sure, see you there.”

They hang up and Hyunjin pinches the bridge of his nose at the sight of his distressed friend. Currently Jisung is slumped against the wall, staring at the ceiling and his eyes look a little wet, worried, far away and confused.

“You’re not homophobic, Jisung.”

‘You’re in love, you idiot’ is what Hyunjin wants to say but he has learned time and time again that it would only lead to an argument with only losers, so he lets it be.

The rest of their way down to the lobby is spent assuring Jisung of the fact that _no_ , he is _not_ homophobic for his feelings. (“Far from it, buddy. Like, _really_ far.”)

Later, after a long case study _of_ Jisung _for_ Jisung about that matter and meeting everyone back in the lobby, Hyunjin is sitting next to Seungmin at the long dinner table. They’re in a western steak restaurant on the second floor and are glad to have the coupon’s support for the prices, because everything is, as expected, very expensive.

“So, what did you guys end up doing for the day?” Seungmin asks after he gulps down the piece of meat Hyunjin had successfully (!!!) fed him. Thank the stars.

Hyunjin beams at him and forces down the memories of their messy afternoon, “Oh, nothing much. Here have some more.” He holds up another piece of meat with his fork which Seungmin accepts with a shrug. Making the best of their time together, he asks Seungmin what he had done with Chan and Felix and Seungmin tells him a fun story about how they went to the hot springs in the area and each got a massage in the spa, too.

Hyunjin is smiling but on the inside, he is crumbling.

Oh man, all the things he has missed out on…

On the other side of the table Jisung sits next to Minho. The younger is torn between searching for eye contact and avoiding it. All the while unconsciously pouting with droopy eyes. The plate of food untouched in front of him and hands on the edge of the table.

He watches as Minho feeds Changbin, who happily accepts. The two exchange a few words.

There is that feeling again, unwell in Jisung’s chest and stomach. A watered-down version of what he had felt right after his thoughts went on a racy rampage in that hotel room. Jisung wants to do something about it, wants _Minho_ to do something about it but he has no idea what.

And Minho catches him staring – because of course, he does – curiously meeting his eyes and turning his head to him. Jisung looks away but like a magnet, turns back again almost as quickly.

Minho’s dark eyes steadily hold his gaze, blinking, deep and imploring. Jisung thinks he feels a little better now with Minho’s full attention on him. Just a little. But Minho has always had that effect on him.

Minho tilts his head a bit as if assessing him. With a miniscule shake of his head, Minho turns back to his plate of steak and potatoes.

At that Jisung deflates with a quiet sigh, forces his eyes away and picks up his fork to prod at his own food.

All of a sudden, he feels lonely and despite having had no lunch today, doesn’t feel hungry anymore. He could talk to Felix beside him, or Chan right opposite him, hell, he could talk to Jeongin who sits close enough too because Jeongin makes everyone’s day better just by existing. He could even join Minho’s and Changbin’s conversation right there. He could talk to any of his friends here. He could do all that.

The problem is Jisung finds himself unwilling to do so. He just wants to know why he suddenly feels so intensely and wants that feeling gone. Maybe Minho would know how he feels if they talked and hung out, because Minho somehow always knows what's going on inside of Jisung and Jisung rarely even has to explain it in words for him to do so.

“Say ‘ahh’.”

Suddenly there is a nicely cut piece of meat in front of his eyes and a hand right under the fork to make sure, if something drops, then not on his clothes or the table. And when he lifts his eyes, he meets Minho’s soft smile and sweet gaze. Feeling warm, JIsung finds himself smiling right back before he excitedly opens his mouth to accept the offer. Minho grins and watches him happily chew. With that cute little grin on his face, Minho looks best.

 _I like seeing you look at me like that, Minho hyung._ Maybe Jisung should say it out loud, just to make Minho’s grin even brighter and his eyes crinkle in mirth. He’s sure Minho would like to hear it and would have fun teasing him about such cheesy (but truthful) words.

“I like seeing you like that way more,” Minho says, like a tease and soft enough to sound like a secret.

Oh?

For a moment Jisung thinks Minho can hear his thoughts and blinks owlishly at the other. Is that proof for soulmates or what? No, of course not. Minho can’t hear his thoughts. But maybe Minho just has a hunch about what Jisung is thinking sometimes, to just perfectly respond to him like that and think something similar.

It’s as real as soulmates can get.

Minho chuckles at how lost Jisung suddenly is. Then Minho points with his finger to the corner of his own soft lips. Jisung kind of gets stuck there though and watches the way his sweet lips form their next words.

“You looked a little down. I like seeing you smile way more.”

Jisung can’t hold himself back from smiling wide enough to surely look like an idiot. He lifts his eyes from Minho’s lips back to Minho’s warm gaze again.

It’s rare – but even more so special every time – when Minho says things like that to him and looks so genuine, too. Sometimes it catches Jisung so off-guard he can’t respond out of confusion or says something stupid in return if he can't think of a way to tease in response. And sometimes, like today, it makes him feel energised and happy and on top of the world.

Minho always perfectly knows how to cheer him up.

“Thank you, hyung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#4 P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Hwang Hyunjin  
>  **Birthday:** 20\. March, 2000  
>  **Occupation:** Interior Design Major/English Minor (2nd Semester), member of local dance studio  
>  **Hobbies:** reading, playing around with his friends, watching kdramas  
>  **Other (1) :** active and aware of his crush on Seungmin, lowkey part time job as cupid, often gets treated like prey by Minho but secretly enjoys and encourages it by bothering Minho, fanboy of GOT7 and his friend Jeongin
> 
> * * *
> 
> ski resort time is here! time for fun. did u expect the cliché trope oh no we share a room and there is only one bed to befall minsung? well well well, i'm not that easy. anyway... everyone is just doing their best in their own way! kinda...  
> let me know your thoughts about the chapter in the comments!  
> i'd love to hear what you think. it's genuinely very motivating! ☆


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ask and you shall receive.  
> Now, do you like it?

“I know how to ski so why am I here?” Changbin asks, “It’s like 9 in the morning and we haven’t even had breakfast yet.” Minho adds himself into the question by gesturing at himself in annoyance.

“Because I don’t know how to ski,” Chan says and reaches for Minho’s gloved hand, “This is bonding time. You two said you’d teach me, remember?”

“Considering this is a lesson to learn skiing by a professional – which we didn’t know would exist – I’d say our services are not needed,” Minho replies and puts a hand on Chan’s shoulder instead of letting him hold his hand, half-heartedly smiling, “If you learn from me you learn by, among other things, suffering. Ask Felix, he knows. And learning Korean isn’t even much of a physical activity like skiing is.”

“Oh, that’s true,” Felix agrees immediately, signature sunshine smile and all and waddling right behind Chan, “He’s an amazing teacher but it comes with a price. But if you’re into it, it’s part of the fun!”

Minho smiles for real this time. Then he links arms with Felix and the two of them waddle away together in a rush. They’re all already in their gear anyway.

Horrified, Chan can only shout after them, “Hey, don’t just leave! Minho, what did you do to Felix for him to say that?!”

The two Lees ignore him. The further they get away the more they look like little penguins in the distance, thanks to their black clothes with white details and the skiing gear that makes them walk funny.

Changbin hums at the sight with a smile, “Hmm, they’re so cute.”

“They are,” Chan agrees with a sigh, letting the suspicious topic drop to focus on his own current problem, doing his best with the boards stuck on each of his legs and the rods in his hands. He has no idea what the hell any of this is gear is called but he is uncomfortable.

Hopefully he’ll get used to it.

“Oh! Minho hyung and Felix hyung look like they’re having fun. I wanna join!” Jeongin beams brightly and pushes forward in his own gear, rushing by between Chan and Changbin.

No one better die today.

With a sigh, Chan remembers to check on the rest of his entourage. He stops, if only to not trip in this stupid gear, and lets Changbin go on without him to look back at Hyunjin, Jisung and Seungmin who are not wearing any gear since they said they didn’t want to join the lesson nor ski this early. When they see him wait for them, they interrupt their conversation to smile at him.

“Hyung!” Hyunjin grins as the three come to a stop in front of him, “We’ll be the best cheerleaders for you today!”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to cheer in a lesson,” Seungmin side-eyes him before looking at Chan, “Personally, I plan on sitting down in the mini café near the open area of your lesson. The masseur from yesterday told me they have a wide range of delicious tea.”

“Of course, you’d go there for tea,” Jisung scoffs with a laugh.

“You begged me to let you join me about 10 minutes ago,” Seungmin deadpans then turns to Hyunjin, “Come with me, let’s leave this clown.”

Hyunjin, looking as endeared as ever, only nods as he looks at the other. His voice is thickly sweet when he says, “I’m never waking up late again if waking up late means you agree to go have tea with Jisung instead of me in the first place.”

Jisung just finds it funny, nudges Seungmin closer to Hyunjin and teasingly whispers, “Whipped!”

Again, Hyunjin nods. Seungmin on the other hand rolls his eyes.

“Clowns…” Chan fondly shakes his head.

Speaking of clowns, it makes Chan remember that, ever since that day two weeks ago, Minho has been referring to Jisung as ‘clown’ when Jisung ever came up in conversation. It’s been two weeks and Chan, frankly, still agrees. As Felix would say: deserve.

“Oh, Minho told you, too, huh?” Chan laughs.

Seungmin looks confused for a moment, before a light bulb goes off in his head and he smiles, “Ah, yes. He sent me screenshots of the chat when I asked about it. Petty, but understandable… Oh, did you know Minho hyung has me saved as Seungmo with a puppy emoji and a snail emoji? Somehow, I still feel both annoyed and cherished by it.”

“Yeah, he changed all our names. I feel a little guilty for feeling thankful about the incident sometimes, but then I remember it made Minho change our contact names. I even asked him for a screenshot of mine, hold on,” Chan remembers with proud smile and struggles to get his phone out of his zipped-up pocket due to his gloves, to show the screenshot Minho had send him as proof that his name had been changed too.

After a minute of the other three waiting in silence, Chan ultimately gives up and waves a hand. “Either way it’s better than just our full names. That felt cold. Every time I saw Bang Christopher Chan on his phone screen I felt like a stranger.”

Seungmin chuckles with understanding, “Oh I know, you’re now saved as a Korean Japanese pun, ‘Ban Chan-chan hyung’. I have to admit, I like the joke as tasteless as it is.”

During Chan’s and Seungmin’s new conversation topic, Jisung and Hyunjin have been looking back and forth between the two in confusion. Hyunjin ups the puppy eye scale to, politely, attract attention from either to get an explanation, Jisung already on the same strategy.

Finally, Chan notices. He bats his lashes at each of the two, raises his brows and says, “Haha, ask Minho yourselves if you wanna know something. Don’t bother Seungmin too much. I gotta get to my lesson. Bye!”

With a loud laugh, he carefully waddles away from the scene, leaving Seungmin behind to deal with the two noisy already-complaining boys.

Everyone else is already gathered a little further away so Chan tries to hurry along his heavy steps.

In the end he falls into the snow and a tired but amused Changbin has to help him back up again.

Sneakily, from where-the-hell-ever Minho pops up and pushes Chan down as soon as he stands, making him fall again but not without pulling a screaming Minho down with him too. It makes Minho and everyone else, too, laugh so loud, that Chan can’t even be mad about it.

  
With no breakfast and long rounds freely skiing after the skiing lesson, everyone looks forward to lunch.

“Actually, Hyunjin, Jisung and me had breakfast in that café we went to,” Seungmin corrects just as they sit down at one of the tables of the mini Golden M fast food place they have here.

Felix sighs with a lot of feeling.

“I love how we can get breakfast for free and yet none of us took that chance up,” Hyunjin says, sarcasm dripping from his voice as he opens the wrapper around his burger. “I’m sick of spending money.”

“You model on the side and your parents are rich. You have more money to spend than any of us do, so just enjoy yourself, hyung,” Jeongin scolds with a click of his tongue. He sips from the cold cola in front of him.

Felix nods in agreement, stuffing his mouth with some fries. It’s true. Hyunjin gets model gigs, like, all the time. Maybe Hyunjin should just quit university and become a full-time model. Thanks to him scouts often come to their dance studio now. Even Felix and Minho have received a few photoshoot requests as well. It is good pay for some hours of handsome posing. Also, Felix feels his ego healthily grow after every camera shot.

“Doesn’t mean I’m a wasteful person!” Hyunjin argues and leaves his mouth hanging open, an offended hand on his chest before he drops it to pick up his burger to eat. Next to him Jisung rolls his eyes.

“Where are our hyungs anyway?” Jisung asks into the group, sipping on his sprite, “None of you told us where they went after skiing together.”

“Yeah, you just showed up back at the hotel and said let’s get lunch,” Hyunjin adds with a pout.

Seungmin, obviously not sharing their worries, curiosities or whatever it is, shrugs to show that they’re alone in that sentiment. “Changbin hyung texted me that they’re going to eat somewhere else on their own later because Minho hyung wanted to show them something,” he says.

With a gasp, Hyunjin frowns, “Why only you? Why not text the group chat?”

“Because you’re nosy,” Felix answers him, using the new Korean vocab Minho (his unofficial Korean tutor) had taught him just a few days ago. Truth is Felix is nosy too.

Felix and Jeongin had gotten Minho’s explanation personally. When Felix had heard that Minho had found cats last night and wanted to show them, Felix had begged him to let him join – because, hello, _cats_. Alas he had been rejected because too many people at once might be stressful for the cats, so Minho had promised Felix to go there again with him later. You could say Felix is looking forward to their cat date and will not ruin it by telling the others why Minho, Changbin and Chan are absent right now if he doesn’t have to.

Either way Felix is still curious how the hell Minho has managed to find cats in the middle of nowhere of a ski resort though.

“Minho hyung found cats. Hyungs left us to go see them,” Jeongin says.

The absolute _betrayal_. Felix, who has been about to take a bite out of his burger, stops and closes his eyes and licks his lips, asking whoever is listening up there to give him patience and strength.

Jisung’s eyes immediately light up like a Christmas tree, “Woah, leave it to Minho hyung to find animals anywhere. He really found cats up here in the mountains?”

“Yup,” Jeongin pops the ‘p’ nonchalantly, reaching for more fries.

Seungmin hums now that he knows the reason their three older friends aren’t here, “Makes sense.”

“Ahh, we could have gone together though!” Jisung’s mood sours with a whine, “Why did they not tell us?”

Felix opens his eyes with a blank expression. Again, he says, “Because you’re nosy.”

“I feel like so many people at once would make the cats uncomfortable. Minho hyung knows best about it. That’s probably why he didn’t want all of us there,” Seungmin thoughtfully answers Jisung’s question, then takes his phone out and turns to Felix with a cute smile, “Felix, please take a photo of me.”

Seungmin’s camera must still be in their hotel room if he’s handing him his phone. Felix takes multiple photos of each pose his friend makes. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees that Hyunjin enjoys the show with an amazed smile and has his own phone out to take photos of Seungmin too.

Because Seungmin shows no reaction to that and keeps posing with his signature smiles and poses, Felix isn’t sure whether he has noticed the behaviour despite Hyunjin being very obvious and not trying to hide his own dramatic photographing of Seungmin at all. And he keeps quietly gushing and cooing stuff like “cute”, too.

Felix side eyes him for a moment. Kinda weird, but who is Felix to stop Hyunjin from living his best life?

“Can’t be helped then. Hope they enjoy themselves,” Jisung says after a while of thinking about it and frowns down at his food before he picks up his burger and determinately takes a huge bite out of it. Jisung almost chokes on the size with little regret. His friends ignore that.

“Seungminnie, you look so handsome!” Felix grins at the nice shots he took of Seungmin and Hyunjin enthusiastically agrees. The lightning is great here. The snowy mountain scenery outside the tall window behind Seungmin is a huge plus. #SeungminBoyfriendMaterial is what Felix will definitely comment when Seungmin posts these candid shots online.

“Seungmin hyung, take some of me please? You’re our best photographer!” Jeongin nudges Seungmin with a bright smile and some praise. Honestly, he’s right and he should say it.

Seungmin smiles at Jeongin, nods and takes his phone back from Felix to do so. On the other hand, Hyunjin is still busy taking photos of Seungmin.

Alright then.

  
Once the boys arrive in the hotel lobby after lunch and a photoshoot outside in the noon scenery, they find Chan, Minho and Changbin lounging in one of the waiting areas of the lobby. Chan sits next to Minho on one of the couches with an arm around Minho as Minho leans against his side. Across from them is Changbin, sitting solo in a leather armchair, tapping away at his phone and earphones hanging loosely around his neck.

Surprisingly there is a black furry cat in Minho’s lap, enjoying the attention of both Minho and Chan while the two talk and exchange smiles.

The sight makes Felix grin. His four companions – Hyunjin, Jisung, Seungmin, Jeongin – have not noticed their friends over there yet as they are still deep in their conversation so without them noticing, Felix sneakily leads them over to the rest of their friend group.

“Jisung hyung, I seriously don’t remember ever giving you a kiss. Please stop bringing it up,” Jeongin groans, using an amused Hyunjin as a shield from Jisung, who keeps trying to hug him.

“No, I clearly remember! It’s the one time you kissed me instead of the other way around! It was when we were visiting Chan hyung in one of the university’s recording rooms. You know the one! On the second floor of the music building, I don’t remember which room number, but I clearly remember you giving me a kiss on the cheek after I asked!” Jisung vehemently argues his case, gesturing wildly with his hands and his eyes wide.

“Why were you asking for kisses anyway?”

“Because I just wanted some– _holy_ shit!" Jisung shrieks, jumping away in fear with a hand on his heart. "Changbin hyung, where do you come from?!”

Finally, they have all noticed each other now, thanks to Changbin’s question. Except Minho (although he probably did notice too but doesn’t care), he’s still gently smiling at the little black cat in his lap and caressing her fur.

“Yongin, Gyeonggi Province, South Korea,” Changbin deadpans, back to tapping away at his phone.

Ignoring the two, Chan greets the rest of them with a laugh, “So you’re finally back.”

Seungmin narrows his eyes at the cat in Minho’s lap, “Minho hyung… did you… did you steal that cat?”

But Minho isn’t paying them any attention. He lets Jisung lean over him to carefully pet the cat too. They start a conversation in whispers and switching between smiling down at the cat to smiling at each other and laughing quietly.

 _Ah_. Felix is so soft for them right now.

Wait, when and how did Jisung even get there so quick? He was just next to Felix a moment ago!

Changbin looks up. He laughs and recalls the events that led them here, “Nah, the granny with the cats, her husband is one of the live-in janitors, wasn’t in her apartment so we left for lunch, deciding we’d just come back after. While we were slurping noodles, Mee brushed up on Minho hyung’s leg and we had to sneak her out of the restaurant without anyone noticing.”

“Needless to say, they don’t let you have your half-eaten bowl of noodles as take-out,” Chan comments with a solemn sigh, nuzzling his face into Minho’s neck, who barely glances at him for it. Meanwhile Jisung watches Chan’s movement closely.

“I’m guessing Mee is the cat,” Hyunjin purses his lips and with calculating eyes, watches Jisung move _unnecessarily_ close to Minho. Felix sees this look a lot on him.

Minho looks up for a moment. (He looks so cute when he’s around animals! Felix just wants to coddle him.) With a proud smile he nods, “Her name is Mee because she has outstanding beauty.”

Felix smiles and sighs fondly.

By the way, ‘unnecessary’ fits well when it comes to Jisung touching Minho, especially right now (or the other way around, if Minho is in one of those moods). If Felix were the type to hate romance, he would be retching at the sight. Jisung looks like a lovestruck fool. Leaning his entire right side against Minho’s left, who hasn’t really moved from Chan’s embrace and is fully focused on keeping the cat comfortable in his lap rather than sit comfortably himself, Jisung has awkwardly tried about _three_ times – it has barely been _three_ minutes since he sat down there – to put his arm around Minho’s shoulder and snuggle closer but Chan’s is still there, blocking him.

Not that Chan knows about that, dude is just vibing.

Apparently giving that up, Jisung employs the next strategy and moves his left hand so it rests on Minho’s right thigh. Having to reach so far over automatically makes his upper body face Minho more and press even closer.

Real smooth (not really). Felix nods in approval, Minho’s thighs are great, especially in those jeans, enjoy the opportunity, Jisungie! That’s all well and sweet but Felix almost feels himself tearing up by how tenderly Jisung caresses Minho’s thigh with his thumb and smiling dumbly at him.

Again, Felix sighs dreamily. _This_ is the ship he wants to sail.

Next to him Hyunjin looks beyond annoyed. He nudges Felix, whispering in his ear when the others aren’t looking, “Look at that dumb idiot, staring at Minho hyung with all the love in the world. Isn’t he supposed to pet the cat instead of Minho hyung’s thigh? This borders on soft porn,”

Felix feels his smile drop, whispering back harshly, “They’re being soft, minus the porn part, Hyunjin! Let the boys be in love, damn, _mate_.”

The other just clicks his tongue and shakes his head, arms crossed on his chest as he quietly grumbles, “And all that while denying the love part. _I_ admit the love part and I don’t even get _half_ as much with my efforts.” The way he longingly looks at Seungmin while he says that, makes Felix reach out a hand to his to comfort him with a smile.

“ _It be like that sometimes,”_ Felix answers him in English, gently squeezing Hyunjin’s hand once before letting go and focusing back on the live k-drama in front of him. What else can he say? Seungmin is a tough cookie.

In the end Felix looks down to Changbin in the armchair because the movement of him adjusting in his seat catches his eye. As expected Changbin is smiling in amusement, having seen what Jisung has been doing. If there was a ‘Minho and Jisung should date’-club then Changbin would be president. And Felix with Hyunjin would be the executive assistants. Changbin for president because he has noticed the chemistry between Minho and Jisung right off the beginning and often catches them in their own world, plays wingman and even openly teases them about it.

Although lately, Felix isn’t sure since when exactly, Changbin hasn’t been meddling like that a lot anymore. Now that he thinks about it, maybe it’s been like that for a while now?

At some point Felix, Seungmin and Hyunjin take a seat as well.

After a little bit of conversation, they play an acrostic poem game. It’s Jisung’s turn and he has to make a poem using the resort’s name. In the corner Seungmin is already cringing at his lines. Maybe Seungmin’s foresight is quite special – Jisung starts off by making compliments vaguely addressing a ‘you’ then finishes the poem off by saying Minho’s name as the receiver for his lines (something about his beauty and thinking a lot about him) and (un?)surprisingly both Seungmin and Minho look like they want to hit him.

Frankly, Jisung’s acrostic poems in these games are always iconic. As a confident bi himself, Felix is proud. Especially because it’s not unheard of that Jisung flirts with Minho in them, who _usually_ enjoys it or doesn’t care.

The poem has everyone groaning before they burst into laughter, while Minho and Seungmin keep glaring at Jisung. Either way they’re loud and hotel staff has to shush them. (They don’t even question the cat?)

Jisung sheepishly grins and attempts to scratch Minho under his chin affectionately with a little apology but Minho turns his head away, looking the absolute opposite of amused. Awkwardly Jisung turns away, forcing a laugh with the others instead and letting his hand slide off Minho’s thigh. Felix wonders if Minho is genuinely annoyed or just playing the tsundere card again.

Unfortunately for Jisung, it does look like genuine annoyance because next, Minho keeps his attention on the cat on his lap and moves away from Jisung to sit closer to Chan, who naturally pulls him closer by the shoulders at that.

Jisung notices. Of course, he does. Felix can tell by the way he quiets down as soon as the distance to him is established.

Huh, well, that happens, too.

Minho’s behaviour is not _that_ unusual, so Felix decides not to read too much into it.

Still a little out of breath from laughing, Chan jokingly asks the question of questions, “Jisung, why do you always use Minho in your poems? It’s always expected at this point.” Minho rolls his eyes at the question.

Jisung hums before a bright smile graces his lips again as he looks at Minho beside him, “It’s expected? Hmm… Probably because it’s so easy to think about him?”

“It sure is,” Changbin chuckles softly, head resting on his propped-up palm as he looks at Minho. In response Minho blankly sticks his tongue out at Changbin – it has everyone laughing again and finally, Minho laughs again too.

The day has many hours left so the boys get up, except Minho with the cat still on his lap, as they talk about the wander trip they want to join later. They decide on the plan that they all go back into their hotel rooms, get ready and then just meet outside where a guide is supposed to pick people up.

“I’ll just stay here with the cat,” Minho says, not petting the cat anymore as not to disturb her. She’s fallen asleep somewhere throughout their conversations.

“Oh,” Changbin’s mouth makes an ‘o’ shape and draws everyone’s attention, he glances at Jisung for a moment then back to Minho, “Jisung can wait with you ‘till the granny comes back so you’re not alone. You can drop off the cat together and then come up too. If it takes too long, text one of us.”

 _Great job, hyung!_ Felix mouths at him, putting up his fists in a silent cheer. As always, Changbin’s out here doing the important work of a wingman.

But then Minho blinks up at Changbin, expression open and confused, “I don’t want that though.”

“Why not?” Jisung joins from his side and frowns, sounding a little hurt, but quickly plastering a smile on his face anyway as he sing-songs and sits down to side-hug him, “I’ll keep you company, hyung.”

“But Changbin is my roommate, it makes more sense for him to wait with me,” Minho doesn’t even look at Jisung, just makes sure Jisung’s hug doesn’t bother the cat. That… well, Felix can’t deny that it makes sense. But Changbin looks confused as well – and so do the rest of them, especially Huynjin – as if he didn’t think Minho would refuse either.

Seungmin claps his hands once, not too loud, and nods, “Good thinking. Guess Changbin hyung’s gonna stay.” Jisung’s arms fall away and he slowly gets up to stand again, but he keeps looking at Minho dejectedly and trying to meet his eyes.

“Does Minho need a babysitter or something?” Chan asks carefully, mildly confused, “If he wants to wait alone then let him. The cat keeps him company.”

“That’s not it. I want Changbin to wait with me.” Minho clarifies, kind of politely, no concern visible for making Jisung look like a kicked puppy right beside him, “Unless he doesn’t want to. Then–“

“Why not me?” Jisung interrupts quietly, biting his lip with a frown, looking like he doesn’t understand a thing. Usually both of them would be happy to spend time together, even more so if alone.

Minho finally looks at him only to send him a glare, “Because you’re a clown, Jisung.”

With that word alone everyone collectively understands the situation and multiple quiet, understanding ‘Ahh’s are heard, one of them by Felix too. Right. The tense atmosphere is gone like that and everyone makes to leave again. In the corner Seungmin gently pushes a hesitating Changbin towards Minho and the cat.

Well, everyone understands except for Jisung who’s speechless, looking even more confused and hurt by the glare he is still receiving from Minho. And, Felix notices, Hyunjin seems out of the loop as well. Understandable though since he’s part of why Minho acts like this. Felix shrugs, more to himself than to add to the conversation.

“Okaaay,” Carefully Hyunjin steps forward, hands up like he’s surrendering, “I thought it’s my job to be dramatic?”

“No, it’s not dramatic,” Chan chuckles, that all-knowing glint in his eyes, “Minho is just giving Jisung what he asked for. So come on, let’s go and get ready, everyone.” He ushers everyone away and waves a little goodbye to Minho and Changbin, who both stay in the lobby. It seems Minho has already stopped paying attention to Jisung. He strikes up a conversation with Changbin, who stiffly sits down next to him and reaches to pet the sleeping cat on his lap only to have Minho slap his hand away. They exchange looks, Minho mumbles something quiet and they both burst into quiet laughter.

Jisung is still standing there, looking utterly lost as he stares at Minho with barely concealed longing. Felix has to pull Jisung away from the scene with a hand on his back to get him moving.

When they’re all in one of the elevators and it’s moving up to their floor, the rejected boy is still looking distracted.

“…What did I ask for?” Jisung softly asks no one in particular.

There is a scoff from Seungmin. Felix can't help but press his lips into a thin line. Jeongin plays with his fingers, not looking up. Hyunjin waits for an answer as well. And Chan smiles at Jisung. Not to mock him, but rather to show sympathy.

The elevator doors open with a ding.

“You asked for space,” Chan tells him.

And Jisung is the last one to leave the elevator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#5 P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Lee Felix Yongbok  
>  **Birthday:** 15\. September, 2000  
>  **Occupation:** Information Technology (IT) Major (2nd Semester), member of local dance studio  
>  **Hobbies:** dance covers, videogames, cuddling  
>  **Other (1) :** self proclaimed confident bisexual, the human embodiment of sunshine, his ideal type is Changbin, has recently taken an interest in cooking and baking
> 
> * * *
> 
> ohh after the cuteness, the tension is rising... jisung will have to face the consequences of his actions properly. one little demand maybe isn't so little once you get it. but maybe that's exactly what jisung needs to understand what goes on in his heart?  
> well, changbin sure hopes so.  
> what do you think?  
> i'd love to read your thoughts about the chapter in the comments! ☆


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So distant and yet so close, Minho has always been like that.

Wandering in the snowy mountains’ woods is exactly what it sounds like. There are many trees, a lot of snow to trudge through even though they’re walking on a trail, everything looks very pretty and it’s an absolute work-out. Nevertheless, the eight boys find enjoyment here too. The wander troupe consists of the same people that were on their travel bus and more: the eight of them, the mother with her twin girls, four couples, a lone man and a group of girls that look about the same age as their own friend group. Must be about 30 people including the guide woman at the lead.

Hyunjin’s been trying to keep up with Chan, Minho, Changbin and Jeongin at the front of their little unofficial section of the follow-line behind the guide woman.

So far, Hyunjin is still behind them, just a little too far to comfortably talk. Next to Hyunjin is a happily stomping Felix and behind them are Jisung and Seungmin, in no rush at all.

The reason why Hyunjin, who is more into swimming and dancing than this, tries so hard to catch up with the four work-out buddies at the front is simple: he’s been wanting to talk to Minho ever since Chan has announced that Minho wants to give Jisung the space he had apparently asked for. Hyunjin, till that moment, hadn’t even known Jisung had asked Minho for space (like, um, what the hell? Way to ruin all that Hyunjin has achieved for you, Jisung.). No worries though! As soon as Jisung is emotionally ready – he is frustrated right now, and after the whole thing with having to reassure him that he isn’t homophobic, Hyunjin just wants to wait this one out – Hyunjin will talk to him about this too because he has no details on the situation so far.

On the other hand, Minho is as always mentally and physically stronger than the rest of their younger friends. Up there, in front of them.

So Hyunjin shall talk to him first.

A whistle blows.

They have reached a clearing with big rocks and fallen tree trunks. The guide woman turns around and signals they’re taking a break. She warns everyone not to get lost or wander alone and too far away while everyone is supposed to rest for a bit.

Finally, Hyunjin has a chance to reach Minho. Hyunjin doesn’t think he could have held up without breathing like he’s dying even if he had reached Minho before anyway.

The wander troupe splits off in little groups to sit on the rocks and tree trunks of the clearing after cleaning them of the snow. On the two tree trunks at the edge of the clearing in front of the continuation to the woods, is where their friend group chooses to sit.

Minho is sitting on the corner of a tree trunk with Jeongin as they talk about leg workout-regimens while Chan is going through his backpack next to Changbin on the other trunk. Jisung pulls Seungmin to sit together, so Jisung sits between Jeongin and Seungmin while Felix joins Chan and Changbin.

“Hey, Minho hyung, can I talk to you for a moment?” Hyunjin stands in front of him with a hand on his hip and breathing heavily from his failed attempt at keeping up before. Since there is no room to sit next to Minho, he has to endure his wobbly legs and dying breath. Pathetically, Hyunjin wipes the sweat off his brow with his thick jacket sleeve and takes off his gloves. Hyunjin has always been the type to sweat easily.

Minho raises a brow at him and looks him up and down. Not the way you’d check someone out but the way you look down on someone or pity them, although Minho’s expression is blank as he does it. “Sure,” Minho says soullessly and stands up, offering him his seat, “Sit down before you fall and die.”

“Thank you so much, Minho hyung,” Hyunjin exhales in relief and wipes the sweat off his forehead again, taking the offered seat. Jeongin curiously looks at him.

Oh wait.

“Kinda thought we could talk alone?” Hyunjin tilts his head up at the older man.

Minho shrugs and moves behind Hyunjin to take a watter bottle out of Hyunjin’s backpack. Maybe Hyunjin should put his backpack down too.

Oh, Minho is already pulling it off him and puts it on the snow where his own backpack is. Hyunjin thanks him again for that and then again when Minho hands him his water bottle. He takes multiple big gulps, not breaking eye contact with him.

When he’s done he breathes deeply a few more times and before he can open his mouth to say he wants to talk about something potentially confidential, Minho smiles at him with his arms in the pockets of his thick black winter jacket, “You’ve worked hard.”

… Ack! Such genuine warm words!

Hyunjin feels himself shiver at the weird tingling sensation that goes over his whole body. Whenever Minho is like this… Damn, this man has to know his power, right? Hyunjin closes his eyes and thanks him (again).

He hears Jeongin laugh next to him, “Minho hyung, this is what Felix means when he calls you a heartthrob!”

Minho tilts his head in clueless surprise, “I didn’t do anything though?”

Hyunjin’s heart clenches at the innocence that always comes when Minho accidently makes someone’s heart flutter and is called out on it, because the obliviousness of his own power just makes it even more endearing. Hyunjin opens his eyes and waves his hand like he’s pushing that topic and the tingling away. Hyunjin is a loyal man, Seungmin, do you hear? A glance to the right confirms that Seungmin is paying them attention but well, even Seungmin is no mind reader.

Whatever.

“Hyung, what I wanted to talk about is your clown thing, the, uh, Jisung is a clown thing,” Hyunjin says, carefully looking up and out of the corner of his vision sees that Jisung is now openly paying attention to their conversation (instead of secretly like before, Jisung ain’t slick). “It seems private so I think we should talk alone.”

“Oh,” Minho says, no actual reaction to that, “It’s not a secret or anything, I can tell you right here. Everyone already knows… Ah, that sounds dramatic, but I promise it’s not a big deal.”

Hyunjin frowns, “Everyone? Everyone already knows everything?” Then finds himself pouting, “Why not me? Jisung didn’t even know! And _he is_ the clown!”

“Huh?” Minho looks confused now and gives Jisung a short glance, “No, he knows. He’s the one who– Ugh. Hold on, just.” Pulling his hand out of his pocket, there is his smartphone at the ready. He quickly unlocks it and searches for something before he turns it around to Hyunjin, “Just read the chat yourself before I waste my breath. The others asked me about it too, so I told them. It’s not the big deal you guys make it out to be.”

And Hyunjin reads it. A chat from two weeks ago.

The more he reads the more his eyes widen. Man, the inner denial thing aside, how badly does Jisung want to ruin his chances with Minho? Like, even as a friend. If this were Hyunjin instead of Minho that Jisung texted, Hyunjin would probably be mad and maybe shed a few tears. Worse, if Seungmin, his love interest, texted him he’s too clingy then Hyunjin would straight up bawl his eyes out.

 **CHAT: Han Jisung** **🤡**

 **8:20** Hey are we still on for coffee after classes?

Han Jisung 🤡: no sorry **8:36** **  
**Han Jisung 🤡: hyung we’re always together it’s bothersome

Bothersome?

Han Jisung 🤡: yeah  
Han Jisung 🤡: i mean you’re so clingy  
Han Jisung 🤡: i need some space.

Ok

Hyunjin looks up at Minho, who looks unfazed with his gaze directed towards the woods nearby and his hands back in his pockets, just waiting for his phone back. Hyunjin looks back down on the screen and scrolls a little further to messages a few hours after the ones before.

Han Jisung 🤡: minho hyung!!!!! **11:42**  
Han Jisung 🤡: i’m actually awake now, i was half asleep when i texted that stuff  
Han Jisung 🤡: fuck sorry. it’s true but i could have worded that better  
Han Jisung 🤡: let’s go get that coffee please 🥺 **12:55**  
Han Jisung 🤡: i’ll pay!! we always get coffee together  
after classes and you paid enough times, i need to pay you back!

**13:16** No I’m busy

Han Jisung 🤡: 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 **13:18** **  
**Han Jisung 🤡: i know what i said but i didn’t mean i don’t wanna hang out with you at all…  
Han Jisung 🤡: is it because i sounded like a prick? sorry hyung :(  
Han Jisung 🤡: MINHO HYUNG I’M REALLY SORRY!! I’M A CLOWN **13:52**  
Han Jisung 🤡: cmon don’t leave me on read 🤡 **14:00**  
Han Jisung 🤡: please get coffee with me?

 **14:27** No

Everything after that is just Minho politely and curtly declining all of Jisung’s invitations and then some memes and cat videos Jisung had sent – probably as a peace offering – which were left on seen in between the short replies to Jisung’s invitations.

Hyunjin skips a few and scrolls further to the messages a week after those ones and then suddenly Jisung is happy in those texts again, starting with saying thank you for letting him stay over and sleeping together and a million (ten) heart emojis and Minho replying with a simple ‘no big deal hannie’. After that day Jisung’s messages were less desperate, more enthusiastic but every invitation was curtly declined by Minho, nevertheless. Very unlike the Minho who used to like asking Jisung out to practically any place or event.

Hyunjin stands up, wobbly legs forgotten, giving Minho his phone back with both hands and then pointing an accusing finger at Jisung, “This is so mean, man. Minho hyung deserves better than this. And you always ruin all of my hard work I put in for your love story!”

Jisung, caught staring into their direction but too offended to act like he wasn’t staring and listening, stands up, frowning and pointing a finger at himself, “ _My_ love story?!” then at Hyunjin, “ _Your_ hard work?!”

As Hyunjin and Jisung start arguing again, topics closely resembling the ones from two weeks ago at their MG event, Jeongin helplessly looks back and forth between the two. He even tells them to stop fighting but the two don’t seem to hear him. He looks up at Minho who stands by the side still, but this time watching the arguing two friends with annoyance.

It’s a stupid argument really, and it’s not like they’re _fighting_ fighting, but it’s a little loud with both their fierce voices. Hyunjin makes sure to let Jisung know how rude he was to Minho and to him too, because Jisung has wasted all of his hard work like that and Jisung argues that he has already realised his mistakes and does his best to make up for them, except for whatever he did (not do) to Hyunjin. They argue back and forth, interrupting each other here and there, with Hyunjin ticking off points on his arguments on how much in denial Jisung is about his feelings for Minho and why Jisung is making everything worse even on a platonic level–

“… and that’s reason five on why you definitely have a crush on Minho hyung and reason six–”

“Absolutely not, dude, I don’t care about your reasons! This is Minho hyung of all people. Why would I…”

–And Jisung vehemently denying all of those points, not necessarily with much logic, but he tries to tick off reasons on why he is definitely not in love with Minho at all and could never. Both Hyunjin and Jisung look frustrated with each other, too focused (and passionate on Hyunjin’s part) on proving the other wrong to be aware of their surroundings anymore.

By now Hyunjin and Jisung have caught the attention of not only the rest of their friends but also nearby onlookers as well. Ugh, so embarrassing. Chan, Changbin and Felix are attentive in their confusion about the sudden situation as well, but no one moves to interfere yet.

Slowly and carefully, Jeongin stands up and side-steps the arguing two boys to stand next to Minho and gently hold onto his arm as Minho intently listens to the two fighting ones. While Jeongin is rather worried and more so embarrassed because of all the attention they’re gathering, Minho only looks like he’s annoyed and tired of their show.

So Minho pats Jeongin’s hand on his arm with a comforting pat and a half-smile that, without words, tells Jeongin he’ll take care of it. Thankful, Jeongin gives him a nod and lets him go.

Minho walks the few steps up to them.

“ _Enough_.”

Minho’s tone is calm and full of authority. That tone is rare to hear from their usually playful older friend. It has both Hyunjin and Jisung shut up immediately, expression going from angry to guilty in a split second as they turn their heads to look at the older.

“Both of you sit and calm down.”

Minho puts one hand on each of their chests and, in contrast to his cold tone, gently pushes them to sit back on the tree trunk. He crosses his arms across his chest and takes a step back, cold expression enough to keep them quiet.

In an even icy tone, he says, “Stop being stupid over the same things again and again. I’m sick of hearing my name come out of your mouths.”

Jisung flinches at the tone or the words, or both. Hyunjin shivers a little, probably not because of the cold weather either. The two can only avert their eyes in guilt and they both look like they’re going to cry. Understandably so, it’s rare for Minho to be like this. Jeongin cringes and glances at Chan and Changbin to help Minho out.

Luckily, Chan is already on his way over.

“I can’t believe I have to say this but,” Chan sighs, his serious tone gentle in contrast to Minho’s right now. The two seem almost glad not to hear Chan’s angry scolding. “Make sure to clear this argument for good when you’re alone some other time if you need it so bad. For now, apologise to Minho and, well, if you need to cry, I won’t stop you I guess.”

“Sorry, Minho hyung,” Hyunjin and Jisung murmur quietly at the same time, still looking down at the snow in guilt.

After that, Chan puts a hand on Minho’s shoulder beside him and gives him a warm smile, “I know it’s not my fault but sorry from me too, Minho.”

The side of Minho’s lips quirk up with a huff and his tense posture relaxes a little, “It’s fine, Chan hyung.” 

And with that Minho leaves to take the vacant spot beside Changbin, who puts an arm around him in comfort. Jeongin smiles when Changbin says something to successfully make Minho laugh. Jeongin is glad the atmosphere slowly relaxes again. He doesn’t want any of his friends so agitated or upset.

Without a word Changbin and Minho get up, take their backpacks and go to sit near the guide woman on the other side of the clearing’s edge. With their departure the onlookers, too, have lost interest now that the show seems to be over, back to minding their own business – good.

Hyunjin sighs and half-heartedly kicks the snow beneath his feet as he finally looks up just to see them go, “We fight about this all the time and get nowhere.”

Jisung rolls his eyes in frustration and mutters under his breath, “Because you’re talking shit, Hyunjin.”

“Jisung…!” Hyunjin hisses and throws him a glare then stops himself and looks away with a wave of his hand, “I’m not going to start fighting again.”

“Better that way,” Seungmin says, glaring at both of them with disappointment. As soon as they make eye contact Hyunjin regretfully breaks it.

Felix sighs and stands up, a hand adjusting his wool beanie, “I’m going with Changbin hyung and Minho hyung. Minho hyung deserves better than this, guys.” Wordlessly Seungmin stands up too and with that Felix and Seungmin walk over to the guide woman too.

Jeongin agrees with a quiet hum, but he stays. A little worried for Hyunjin and Jisung. “Are you two okay?” Jeongin asks gently.

“Chan hyung… Jeongin…” Jisung drawls, face blank, instead of answering the question, he stands up with a clenched fist and looks down at it. His voice sounds steady and devoid of emotion, “I really want to cry.” Although he doesn’t quite look like it at all, they believe him.

“Then do it,” Chan shrugs with a raised brow and there’s a glint in his eyes that has him looking like he knows more than he lets on. Hyunjin has his head down but Jeongin knows he’s listening too.

“It’ll be embarrassing though,” Jeongin tries to lift the mood with a smile.

“What’s more embarrassing is that I keep saying shit that hurts Minho hyung,” Jisung says, still with that empty tone but his eyebrows start furrowing, “I don’t want to hurt him.”

“Then don’t,” Chan shrugs again.

Jisung is quiet.

“Do what you actually want to do, you idiot,” Hyunjin sighs and gets up. He smiles at Jisung, meeting his empty stare head-on, “I hope you’ll figure it out on your own. Even if it’s going to be frustrating to watch, I guess I’ll stop pestering you about it from now on. And if nothing comes out of it, then that’s just how it is. I’ll go join the others… see ya.”

“I don’t even care about that anymore…” Jisung mumbles and watches him go, only for his eyes to rest on the group in the distance.

On Minho. Jisung’s expression full of guilt and longing.

Then Jeongin sees Chan smile as he watches Jisung. It’s a soft knowing smile, full of fondness. The type of smile Chan secretly likes to give his best friends when he thinks none of them are watching. But Jeongin sees it all the time.

“I just want to be with Minho hyung… like we were before,” Jisung speaks up solemnly, his fist falling open back to his side, his eyes still on the group over by the guide, “I can’t believe I always end up hurting him. Lately he feels so far away from me. I may not understand the whole love thing, but he means a lot to me… does he even think the same about me? Especially after I’ve been such an asshole?”

“You’re important to him,” Chan states like it’s a fact, “But you got what you asked for, didn’t you?”

Now tears are welling up in Jisung’s eyes again, but he quickly blinks them away without averting his gaze from Minho in the distance, “Yeah, I got what I asked for. I just realised way too late that I didn’t even want it in the first place.”

There’s a pause.

“I don’t want space from Minho hyung. I just want Min–“ Jisung’s voice cracks and he lowers his head to hide his face behind his hands.

Ah, there the tears come.

Jeongin scrambles to find tissues in one of their backpacks on the floor.

“I just want to be with Minho hyung!” Jisung cries, voice quivering. His hands are turning to fists as he presses against his eyes to keep the tears at bay, but they keep coming. From down on the floor, Jeongin sees them drip from his chin on his jacket collar and disappear in the snow beneath them.

Jisung stumbles back to sit on the tree trunk. He cries, sobs and his voice strains to come out, like he’s been holding it all down this whole time until now. The words tumble out one after another, “I’m sick of holding it all in! I don’t want to hurt Minho hyung or make him mad… I want to bicker with him about dumb stuff. I want to hold his hand. I want to make him happy. I want him to be clingy with me and I want to be together with him all the time. I want to be clingy with him and I want to hold him whenever he lets me. I want to hug him and tell him how happy he makes me all the time. I want to let him know how much he means to me all the time. I want to let him know it means the world to me when he understands me and even when he doesn’t, he knows just what to do to deal with however I feel without me even uttering a word. I want to do the same for him. I want him to feel the same way about me. I want him to know everything about me and I want to know everything about him; everything he lets me because he’s so hard for me to understand sometimes. I’ll cherish every part of him anyway. We… We fit together so well; I wouldn’t ever want to ruin that. To me, he’s… Minho hyung is my soulmate.

There’s no one like Lee Minho for me.”

Something has been changing, slowly, gradually. And now there’s a big change in the air. A breeze shudders through them. With wide eyes full of sympathy Jeongin and Chan look at Jisung, who looks so small.

As he takes a few steadying breaths, Jisung’s shaking shoulders slowly relax again.

“Woah, it felt good to let that all out,” he sighs softly in relief, as if a movie scene just ended instead of an honest crying session. He wipes the tears and the snot from his face with his hands and grabs into his own jacket pocket for tissues, “You don’t have to say anything. I know what you’re going to tell me. I should say all that to Minho hyung, right?” Jisung chuckles bitterly, “Easier said than done. I never really get the words out when I’m around him.”

“Actually,” Jeongin shakes his head, hand having stayed frozen inside Chan’s backpack the whole time since about half-way into Jisung’s speech because it was too intense not to pay full attention to. Jeongin takes his hand out and looks away in mild disgust as Jisung blows his runny nose, “I mean, yeah, do tell Minho hyung. Maybe you’ll realise something along the way by yourself, maybe with his help too. Everyone else’s way of helping just seems to make you panic. But you should think about what you're feeling first.”

“I’m telling you, the only reason I panic is because this is Minho hyung. Tell me I have a crush on anyone else, _but_ _him_. None of that is true – it can’t be true. You know how much would change if it were? It just ends up making me feel weird as hell when you guys say stuff like that. I can’t be in love with Minho hyung…” Jisung frowns as he blinks up at Jeongin, then he sighs and looks down again, “Whatever.”

Jeongin shrugs with the same sigh he always gives in response to Jisung’s denial. A little weird how it’s like Jisung knows how he truly feels and doesn’t at the same time.

Chan nods at Jeongin and he looks proud, before he smiles down at Jisung who cleans his red, tear-stained blotchy face with a tissue. Chan looks as patient as ever, “Look, I won’t put a name on it, but what you feel for Minho is pretty intense. Why don’t you think more about it?”

“Sure,” Jisung says and wipes his nose, casually like he hadn’t just cried a moment ago, meaning every word, “Thinking about Minho hyung is easy.”

Chan chuckles at that – Jeongin sometimes wishes he were as patient as Chan – and gestures for them go over to the others too, just when they hear a whistle blow again. Break is over.

Chan and Jeongin take the lead as Jisung slowly trudges after them a little further behind, reluctant to let the others see his ruined-by-crying-so-much face too although some if not all of them probably know he has cried by now.

Just as Jisung wants to speed up to catch up with them so he won’t have to walk alone, Jeongin rushes forward, feet kicking up snow, and grabs onto Chan’s arm. With a warm smile, he whispers, “So this is what love is. The real deal.”

And Chan grins, a finger to his lips to keep a secret.

Neither of them notice when Jisung stops at their words, his heart beating fast and his mouth going dry. A weird and uncomfortable tingling feeling. The world becomes quiet. He just stands there; his eyes are already slowly searching for Minho.

But he’s nowhere to be found as their wander troupe gathers to continue their trail. Jisung’s heart rises to his throat, he feels overwhelmed and he presses a hand to his chest and closes his eyes, trying to calm his heart down. This isn't the good type of accelerated heartbeat. Jisung doesn’t really know why he always gets like this.

A hand ruffles his hair.

Jisung spins around with wide eyes. He dumbly blinks at the one he’s been looking for, now right in front of him. And his heart only jumps a happy beat at the sight of Lee Minho before it calms down again, like it wasn't going crazy just a moment before.

“What were you crying for?” Minho smiles playfully, the hand back in his pocket.

But Jisung doesn’t think he deserves any of his smiles today, because Jisung has been stupid and Minho should still be mad at him. He shouldn’t be like this to Jisung who’s been so hurtful to him. But Minho smiles at him like that anyway, like everything’s alright and nothing hurts.

(Maybe Jisung is the only one out of the two of them with a knot in his heart anyway.)

Minho is always there to catch Jisung. And so, Jisung feels like crying again, but this time of happiness. Minho is so good to him. 

Ah shit, he’s _definitely_ going to cry again. 

Crying in front of others (in public too!) is actually quite rare for Jisung. It's a little funny, how Minho’s eyes widen as soon as Jisung’s bottom lip trembles again and his eyes fill up with tears. Not being able to hold himself back anymore, Jisung lets the tears fall and throws his arms around Minho to finally hold him close as he presses his crying face against the other’s shoulder.

With a surprised grunt, Minho accepts the hug and Jisung feels him hug back in only a moment.

It’s lavender.

It’s Minho.

It's that feeling again. Jisung feels at home while his heart beats in a familiar specific rhythm that just comes and goes when Minho is around. Happy. Safe. Comfortable. And a little excited about something unknown. 

“Come on, we gotta go,” Minho gently tries to pry him away after a few moments, but Jisung only holds on stronger. It’s harder to hug in thick ski-fit winter jackets than in normal clothes, Jisung notices.

“Seriously. Move it, Jisung.”

Jisung shakes his head, probably smearing his snot and tears all over Minho’s jacket. Usually Minho would scold him for something like that, but he knows he’ll get a pass at it for now.

Or maybe not? Minho forces him off but steadies him by the arms as soon as Jisung loses his balance from the strong push and almost falls backwards into the snow.

They blink at each other both looking surprised even though Jisung was the one pushed away by Minho. Minho takes his hands off his shoulders and gives the younger a small but sweet smile through a huff.

Being pushed away by Minho doesn’t feel good and it isn’t new. But for some reason it confuses and surprises – _stings_ – Jisung anyway. Although the smile he gets is like a little bandaid. Naturally he gives a smile back. 

Minho nods his head towards the others, “We need to go.”

Jisung feels himself pout but he bites his lip and looks down. With a sigh Minho starts to move away. Jisung can’t help it; a hand shoots out to catch Minho by the thick jacket sleeve and Minho stops, but he doesn’t look back.

“I,” Jisung starts, gulps and takes a deep breath before he continues, a little quieter, “I take it all back. What I said back then. And I will never say stuff like that again. So… please, be clingy with me again… I, I like it that way. I’m sorry for hurting you, being a shitty friend and–”

“It’s fine already,” Minho interrupts and still doesn’t look back, voice just as quiet as Jisung’s. Jisung doesn’t know what he looks like when he says it, “Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

“But it _is_ a big deal, I–”

“You said it yourself, we’re never serious about anything,” Minho says casually, like it’s so bothersome to remind Jisung and Jisung does remember saying that and feels stupid for that line too because it isn’t even true, “So, just like before. Don’t think too much about it.”

What is it supposed to be exactly? Chan said Jisung should think more and now Minho says he shouldn’t.

Where should Jisung draw the line?

“What if I want to think about it?” Jisung says, tightening his grip on the other’s sleeve. There’s a pause.

Jisung wants to see Minho’s face, wants to try reading it even though it can be hard, because understanding Minho without properly seeing him is even harder. Sometimes words aren’t everything. Jisung is still learning.

Minho hums, like he’s genuinely considering his words.

A small shrug. “Then do it. Do whatever you want, Jisung.”

Does Minho even care about their friendship? That’s a stupid thought that Jisung would like to slap himself for, but it passes through Jisung for a moment anyway. Of course, Minho cares – just shows it a little differently than others would. And it’s just one of the many things Jisung likes about his friend. Minho is pretty blatant with his affection actually; one just needs to know the language. And right now Minho is just honest, letting Jisung decide for himself.

This is Lee Minho – Jisung will just have to figure his friend out and think about it all.

Suddenly feeling warm as fondness makes something flutter in his ribcage, Jisung smiles. He lets go of Minho’s sleeve to bravely take his hand instead. Finally. It’s what makes Minho turn around with a surprised noise and round eyes, lips the tiniest bit parted.

Jisung squeezes once, smile turning into a toothy grin with their eyes finally meeting again. “Okay. I missed you, hyung.”

Minho blinks a few times, looking even more surprised before he tilts his head in confused acceptance, “Okay.” And then, as if he remembers who he is, he nods a little more confidently and gives Jisung a genuine smile back, “Let’s go then.” And tugs him along.

Jisung doesn’t mind that he doesn’t get to hear a ‘I missed you too’. It’s not like he deserves one today.

Despite being distracted, they’re not last or lost at all. They quickly catch up with the others. For almost the whole way back they hold hands.

  
Well, until Minho pulls his hand away halfway on the way back to the hotel.

“Why are we holding hands anyway? It’s freezing,” Minho grumbles, lips pouty, rubbing his hands together before grabbing his gloves out of his pockets and wearing them.

“Hey, our hands keep each other warm plenty!” Jisung argues, looking at his lonely hand that slowly becomes colder without the warmth of Minho’s. Jisung takes his own gloves out of his pockets and wears them again too.

“You’re such a tsundere, hyung,” he frowns, acting more annoyed than he is and suppressing a grin.

Minho sticks his tongue out. “You probably didn’t even wash your hands today,” Minho accuses, grimacing at him, “Ugh, gross.”

But it has Jisung laughing, this feels a little more like _them_. Just bickering about dumb things.

And no, he did wash his hands. But he plays along for the fun of it. “I didn’t. Come here let me hold your face to warm it up too.”

“No!” Minho screams and walks faster, not even looking back once. Shaking his head with evil laughter, Jisung rushes after him. The exhaustion of wandering for hours somehow not on his mind at all.

Their friends watch them in amusement. Everyone feels a little lighter.

Han Jisung will just let himself be however and whoever he wants to be with Lee Minho.

This is not love, is it? But Jisung treasures what special bond he has with Minho dearly – nothing that others say should matter (easier said than done, but he’ll try to follow the statement). No one’s words but their own should mean a thing, because this friendship is about _them_ and nobody else. Minho and Jisung can be whoever they want to be with each other. For now, Jisung will just have to pay extra close attention to his heart and see what it all means. And in between that, he wants to figure out Minho as well. No one ever knows what he thinks, it’s a little unfair how hard he can be to read. There’s a lot to do for Jisung.

Everything takes time. Just let it happen.

All that matters right now is that they’re okay again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#6 P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Yang Jeongin  
>  **Birthday:** 8\. February, 2001  
>  **Occupation:** Educational Science (1st Semester)  
>  **Hobbies:** watching k-dramas and mukbangs, karaoke, making people smile  
>  **Other (1) :** everyone's favourite, mature impression but actually very naive too, clumsy (accidently broke a door off its hinges once), takes good care of his friends while trying to be like a good younger brother
> 
> * * *
> 
> hyunjin finally found out what exactly happened! and chan has the patience of a saint tbh. a little immature, and then cheesy honest words; catharsis is slowly building up. let's just say jisung is getting there. slowly. kind of. i guess sometimes you just need a good cry to clear your eyes and see everything more clearly. from now on jisung will pay attention! but jisung shouldn't be too slow bc minho... you know...  
> we'll see how that goes... what do you think?  
> i'd love to read your thoughts about the chapter in the comments! ☆


	7. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seo Changbin has a little secret.

The early night brings a lone Seo Changbin outdoors to the hot springs to relax.

Lucky for him no one else seems around here and even inside the locker and shower area, where he thoroughly cleaned himself before, it’s empty.

The cool air and snowy nature around him make a wonderful contrast to the heat of the hot spring’s water he’s basking in. He likes the privacy the wooden walls around this area give him without obscuring the night sky or the scenery on one side by having it be half-walls like railings instead. Modern lanterns illuminate the space with light.

The hot natural water relaxes his muscles, strained from a day of skiing without breakfast, hanging out with a cat in the lobby with his friends and a wander tour through the mountains after lunch. The wander tour had K.O.’d everyone. Including Hyunjin, who Changbin had piggy-backed the rest of the way back to the hotel despite being the shorter one of the two. After a fulfilling dinner in a Korean style restaurant, the eight of them enjoyed time in the hotel’s arcade, before they finally parted ways by splitting into smaller groups. The day has been a good workout but now it’s time to relax.

Although the things that happened today still linger in his mind.

The first thing was not intense per se.

Yet it still had Changbin’s mind reeling as he was pulled into it. When Minho asked him to stay with him in the lobby instead of Jisung. Minho favouring someone over Jisung, and it’s not a joke? It had Changbin feeling guilty, too, considering the fact that Jisung looked like some kicked squirrel that was thrown out of its favourite tree. Simply put, Jisung looked hurt or more explicitly – dare Changbin say – heartbroken. Even so, Minho was acting neither dramatic nor mean. Not really. Maybe a little petty in this case, but that’s about it.

After all it’s Jisung who had said those words that night two weeks ago. It’s Jisung who had called Minho clingy and asked for space over text.

Jisung had hurt Minho.

(And Changbin didn’t. That’s probably part of why Minho asked him to stay instead. But that’s also a petty thought to have, isn’t it?)

Minho had decided, 2 weeks ago, to give Jisung what he had asked for: space. Although Minho still has trouble enforcing his decision sometimes.

As the second thing of the day proves.

Hyunjin and Jisung had fought again, just like two weeks ago and even the topics were the same if not more intense. Luckily their heated debate was quickly resolved. Minho came to Changbin after he stopped their arguing and they made fun of the situation as best as they could and joked around some more when they left the scene. They even got a little chaotic again, when the rest of the boys joined bit by bit.

Of course, they had all noticed when Jisung started crying over there where he was with Chan and Jeongin. Of course, Minho had noticed.

The whistle had blown and they all got ready to go.

Then Minho pulled Changbin aside with a sigh that looked like he would have trouble enforcing that decision of his again and he told Changbin as much. He asked Changbin for a hug and Changbin simply nodded, a little dumbfounded. Their hug lasted a little longer and was tighter than usual. “Thank you,” Minho said, his voice carrying his grin, soft and melodic as always.

When they pulled away again, Minho told him, with a fond smile, that he’ll go take care of Jisung and that Changbin should go take care of Hyunjin. So, they both left to do exactly that, both succeeding easily with their tasks to cheer their younger friends up.

Later Changbin and everyone else had noticed Minho and Jisung be friendly again and even hold hands half the way. Until Minho met Changbin’s eyes and let go of Jisung by starting playful banter instead. Changbin didn’t mean to make Minho do that, but the behaviour did fit Minho either way, so maybe that wasn’t because of Changbin. Either way, they were all fine again and the tension seems to have evaporated.

Everything is back to normal again. Things are peaceful again.

And that’s a good thing.

Changbin shakes those thoughts out of his head for now and pushes a wet hand through his dark hair and down his face.

This is a place to relax, so relax he will.

From this high up in the mountains the stars are already out and easy to spot in the night sky. He leans his head back on his folded towel at the edge of the hot spring and watches the stars. It’s beautiful here.

All quiet and private, like a place far away from the rest of the world.

“Oh, I didn’t know you’d be here.”

In times like these Changbin thinks he knows why everyone at the dance studio addresses Minho with the nickname ‘Lee Know’ – the few times Changbin has visited, he has never had anyone explain it to him – and why Felix likes to refer to Minho as their friend group’s very own heartthrob.

 _Heartthrob_ , because that’s exactly what he is: a heartthrob who makes your heart throb. And _Lee Know_ because he knows just how to do that (and a lot of other things too). Or maybe because he _doesn’t_ know, which makes it all the more endearing.

Changbin still isn’t sure about that. How much awareness does Minho have about his effect on people?

On Changbin?

So, here he is right now. Lee Minho: dark brown hair, dark brown eyes sharp and attentive, habitually blinking more than needed (because he has always had sensitive eyes) and that signature smile that always looks a little mischievous yet gentle. He’s dressed in a black bathrobe with the resort’s logo on the chest and a white towel with the same logo – much like Changbin’s own folded on the floor behind his head – hangs around his shoulders.

Lee Minho makes his heart throb. That’s Changbin’s secret.

It’s only when Minho stands by the edge of the hot spring that Changbin replies to him, “Well, I didn’t know you’d be here either.”

“Touché.” Minho says and bends down to fold his towel and put it on the floor at the other side of the hot spring right opposite him. When he stands up straight again, he moves his hand to undo the knot holding the bathrobe around his body and–

That’s where Changbin finally stops watching him.

Suddenly he realises just how damn small this one hot spring is. Is this one for couples too, just like their honeymoon suite? How many hot springs do they have here and are they all different sizes? What are the chances of them choosing the exact same small hot spring? The damn thing is about the same size as a round mini whirlpool. Changbin’s ears are definitely red and maybe his cheeks are flushed, too, but he can just blame the cold air or the hot water for that. Whatever.

Closing his eyes, he lays his head back on his towel behind him like before. Relax.

The water moves against his body and splashes a little. Minho lets out a soft moan. Those are the only reasons why Changbin knows that Minho has joined him. Surprisingly, or maybe not, Minho keeps quiet except for the few quiet sighs expressing his satisfaction.

A comfortable silence. They’re friends.

Then, “How long have you been here?”

Changbin doesn’t open his eyes and replies plainly, “I think I arrived only a few minutes before you did.”

“Oh?” Minho sounds surprised, the next words a little whiny, “We could’ve come here together then. Why didn’t you tell me?”

The stars he found beautiful just moments ago, look like they’re mocking him when he opens his eyes again. Man, Changbin can’t even look at him like this.

Changbin shrugs and he hopes his smile doesn’t look as rueful as he feels, “Didn’t you say you were going to play cards with Jisungie and Yongbokie? The two were so excited, I would’ve felt guilty for stealing you away.”

“You’re too sweet, pabbit.” Minho mockingly coos at him, moves a little judging from the light waves hitting Changbin’s body, “But after you left for our room, the two got everyone else to join too and then Felix, our sweet innocent Yongbokie, suggested turning it into a strip game. Can you believe it?” Minho sounds genuinely scandalised by that.

“Hey, Felix isn’t that innocent,” Changbin laughs, because that’s genuinely funny, and naturally looks at Minho vaguely gesturing with a hand that he should’ve known, “He calls Chan hyung’s body sexy all the time!”

“Ugh, he’s right about that though… but games like that are _so_ annoying,” and Minho really looks like the innocent one here, all wide disapproving eyes and a pout on his lips. He never does stuff like that to be cute, that’s what makes it cuter. If Minho wants to act cute on purpose, he smiles so that his eye-smile shows, raises his eyebrows a little, ‘speaks in baby’ and/or speaks in third person on purpose rather than habit like he sometimes does too.

This is Minho showing his raw charm.

This is where he doesn’t know that he can make someone’s heart throb.

Now that Changbin is looking, he can’t look away so easily. They look into each other’s eyes for a while longer before Minho looks away with a sigh to the scenery they can see from beyond the wooden half-wall.

Changbin knows why Minho doesn’t like games like that. Or well, why he generally doesn’t like to show much skin especially if it becomes a big deal. Minho has a reputation for, among other things, being sexy and nobody will deny that. Even though most he has ever done is take his jacket off for a sexy dance (it never fails to have everyone go crazy over it). But Minho has never had to take his shirt off or show a lot of skin to prove just how alluring he is.

(Not that anyone would complain if he ever chooses to do so.)

“Why are you staring?” Minho grumbles, lips pursed, but there is more insecurity behind it than heat. His right arm comes up to rest on his left shoulder, so his torso is hidden by it. Or not his torso per se, but the scar that runs horizontally right under his chest area. It’s not a secret to any of their close friends, not to Changbin either. And in their case: you do end up seeing your roommates naked more often than you’d like.

To him, Minho had confessed once before – in a rare vulnerable moment where they both exchanged a few words on weaknesses – that he is still kind of insecure about his body and the scar even though he knows it’s not a bad thing, not a big deal and it has no bad origin either. It just _is_ there.

Back then Changbin had taken the courage to say that it’s pretty; pretty because it’s part of Minho. Although Minho had assumed it a joke, it hadn’t been wasted courage on Changbin’s part because he had made Minho laugh in the end.

Today he finds that courage again, stronger this time. He chuckles when he says it.

“You’re beautiful.”

And just like that day, Minho looks a little surprised before he lets out an open and honest laugh. It’s loud and kind of dorky, but Changbin isn’t going to tell him to quiet down when he shines so bright. He finds himself laughing along, almost shyly.

When Minho finally calms down, a smile stays on his lips. “Piggy, why are you so nice to me tonight?” There is a teasing undertone and the obvious nickname butchering but Changbin isn’t going to take the bait.

“You should know you are,” Changbin says as if it is their usual banter and not a vulnerable topic where he is supposed to be serious. Because he knows this is how Minho likes it best. With a raised brow and a knowing grin, Changbin adds, “That’s why ‘Lix and Jisung were so excited to play with you, you know?”

Minho’s smile turns into a smirk that looks cocky at first sight but if looked at closer it seems a little disbelieving as he looks towards the scenery again, resting his elbows on the edge behind him and showing off his side profile, “No way all those youngsters want a piece of me. Whatever am I going to do?” Soulless sarcasm drips from his voice.

Changbin cackles at that, “Hey, Princess Fiona, they’re literally in our age range. Don’t look down on your fellow students by calling them youngsters.”

Minho meets his eyes again and playfully sticks out his tongue before he says, “I will do whatever I want, Shrek. Don’t stick up for them, they’ll throw you under the bus.”

Changbin is still grinning but he nods, “You’re right. I’ll just stick to our hyung-line. I can trust you and Chan hyung, right?”

He expects Minho to take a jab at him like he usually does, bully him a little more or something. It is part of their dynamic after all and it’s all in good fun. But Minho just smiles softly at him and winks, “Won’t let you down.” Changbin doesn’t miss the honesty in that soft voice.

There he goes again, making poor Changbin’s heart throb.

Speechless, Changbin just huffs and tries to keep his smile contained but it keeps becoming a grin instead. He tries but feels too shy to keep proper eye contact with Minho, who tilts his head in amusement at his actions. Letting his eyes wander anywhere and nowhere, Changbin doesn’t really register whatever he looks at because out of the corner of his eyes his focus is still on his friend.

Silence washes over them again, it’s not only comfortable but warm – and not just because of the hot spring they’re in. Both of them have soft smiles on their faces but have taken to quiet relaxing again instead of adding conversation.

It reminds Changbin a little of the day he had first realised that he had a crush on Lee Minho.

(Changbin calls it a crush, because admitting he’s been in love for about four months and counting, with one of his best friends feels a little too hard to do. In the end it’s bad luck.)

Back then, he hadn’t been naked in a hot spring with him though. They’d both been wearing cheap knight costumes, laying on an empty grass field while holding hands instead. But that’s a story for another day.

“Why are you smiling like an idiot, pabbit? Thinking about your next meal?” Minho pulls him out of his thoughts with a teasing grin and a raised brow.

Changbin laughs and shakes his head, but goes along with it, “Yeah, I’m hungry right now. If you’re not careful this pabbit will eat you.”

Minho mocks fear and shock, like an overexaggerated damsel in distress, “No, no, Changbin, no! I will fight you and eat you first!” Then he splashes him with water and laughs, breaking character.

“You’ll become a pabbit too then,” Changbin replies cheekily and splashes him back.

The water splashing fight kind of escalates from there, their laughter boisterous and the stone floor around the hot spring becomes wet in a 2-metre radius at least, and their hair is a wet mess, too. Minho shrieks multiple times, screaming something about how cannibalism is unhealthy and Changbin can barely hold his laughter as they keep up the weird roleplay. Minho, positively weird, tends to bring out the weirdest parts of people.

“Hold on!” Minho yells with his hands up shielding his face and then quietly, when Changbin stops splashing him too, “I think I got something in my eye.”

“Oh sorry, let me see,” immediately worried and splash fight forgotten, Changbin moves a little closer through the water, hands up ready to inspect the other’s face and help him.

It’s probably just an eyelash. Their breathing is still a little laboured from the water fight, so Changbin swallows and tries to calm his down. He reaches for Minho’s hands to pull them down and inspect his eyes.

Instead, there is a smirk.

“Kidding.”

Changbin barely has a second to react before Minho throws his arms around him and pushes him down into the water. It has Changbin spluttering at both the attempted drowning he’s a victim of but also because of their proximity; bare skin on skin.

Of course, with only a bit of stunned hesitation, he retaliates.

Now they’re wrestling again, like they do at home all the time, but this time it’s inside a hot spring and they’re missing fabric. They’re both as naked as the day they were born – It burns hot where their skin is touching and Changbin thinks the heat fries his brain with it.

It’s too hot but too much fun to stop.

Their level of strength is pretty similar. But their body’s strength distribution is different: Minho is strongest in his core and legs, while Changbin is strongest in his upper body and arms. Each of their playful wrestling matches always ends with a different winner. It keeps things interesting.

At some point Changbin has Minho pressed up against the hot spring’s edge, holding Minho’s wrists in both of his hands as they laugh and push against each other, growing tired.

Changbin sees Minho glance down at his lips for a split second and it has Changbin look at Minho’s lips in turn before they meet eyes again. Their laughter dies down a little, so they’re just smiling at each other with laboured breaths. Minho relaxes, stops pushing back and simply lets Changbin hold his wrists when he does the same.

Suddenly Changbin realises just how close they are. Their legs are only lightly touching underneath the water, carefully placed in between each other’s. It isn’t supposed to be sexual at all, neither is this kind of position unusual for them. It feels strangely intimate though without the usual layer of clothes between them. The heat adds to it. He wonders if Minho has noticed too, if he feels the same and looks back up to find Minho already looking into his eyes as if having waited for him to look back up.

Minho quirks up an eyebrow.

Ah. Are they still playing?

The heat Changbin had felt from playing around in the hot water is replaced by the heat his heart always spreads inside of him when it comes to Minho. But he’d be lying if he says the heat doesn’t have his blood go elsewhere too.

“You sure know how to have fun in a hot spring,” Minho teases quietly. It’s almost a whisper. Changbin’s grip on his wrists has become so loose that Minho slides them down a little to hold hands instead, fingers slowly intertwining gap by gap. He looks a little surprised that Changbin barely glances at their hands, but Minho gives him a small playful smile anyway and wiggles their connected hands a little from side to side, squeezing them a few times too.

It’s cute. He makes Changbin smile.

The heat between them is going to kill Changbin. He feels overwhelmed like he can barely breathe and wonders just how dazed he must look in front of Minho right now. It’s a good feeling though.

Minho looks beautiful – always, but especially like this: pressed against the hot spring’s edge by Changbin. Wet and flushed; with his dishevelled hair pushed away from his forehead, a few strands still falling over. The playful man with attentive sharp eyes and his rosy lips. Under the night sky, through the steam of the hot spring water and porcelain skin comfortably on display and illuminated only by the stars and the few lanterns around them: beautiful. Everything is beautiful about Minho. From his eyes, nose, lips to his defined collarbones and the rest of him too.

(Everything would be a lot easier if Changbin only had a thing for Minho’s body.)

Unlike Changbin, Minho seems confident.

“Cat got your tongue?” Minho chuckles, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he raises a brow. He looks so amused that it makes Changbin want to embarrass himself even more just to make Minho laugh more. The cat that got his tongue is none other than Minho. It’s a metaphor, one he might use for song lyrics someday.

Changbin opens his mouth to say something, but when Minho looks down at his lips for his words, he closes his lips again and finds himself smiling shyly. Confused by the silence, Minho looks up and his lips are pouting, so Changbin can’t ignore them either but he forces himself to meet his eyes anyway.

His heart is throbbing.

What would happen if they kissed right now?

Well, they shouldn’t.

So, it’s nothing. Nothing will happen because they will not kiss.

They are friends. (And Jisung is their friend too. Changbin knows too much. Is a little too late to call the shots.) They are best friends.

With a barely audible sigh, Changbin lets his gaze fall away. Slowly and gently he takes his hands out of Minho’s. Thankfully he does not look hurt nor offended with that gentle smile as he simply keeps his eyes on Changbin. It almost looks like Minho understands his unspoken thoughts but who knows what he really thinks? He likes to play around after all.

But in the comfortable closeness they share, Changbin wants to indulge himself by not moving away after that.

He smirks confidently and gently puts his hand on Minho’s cheek, “Let’s go back to our hotel room before we start looking like raisins.” Then he softly and playfully slaps it a few times. The heated tension almost disappears.

Minho throws his head back in laughter and agrees.

When they’re in the shared queen-sized bed later, together side by side, Minho snuggles up against Changbin in a rare moment where Minho openly offers classic physical affection – very lightly so. In turn, Changbin thinks he can indulge himself a little more. He takes all the courage he can muster up and turns to lay on his side too, facing Minho and surprising him. Minho blinks at him with round eyes.

Carefully Changbin places one hand on Minho’s waist, pulls him closer and places the other hand on Minho’s cheek. The way he did just a while ago, he strokes the soft skin gently with his thumb.

Unlike in the hot springs, Minho flushes pink and looks caught off guard. He’s the shy one now and Changbin is confident. Neither of them can blame the heat on hot water or cold air now that they are in a comfortable hotel room, in bed under a blanket.

Changbin lets himself lean forward. He pauses, only to watch the way Minho almost startles and squeezes his eyes shut at his approach.

It’s cute, Changbin wants to give him a kiss so badly.

So, he continues leaning forward, closing his eyes. And he presses his lips against Minho’s forehead. The touch is so soft and careful and so quick it’s barely there. Lips tingling from the momentary sensation.

When he leans back to check on Minho’s reaction, Minho looks at him with wide eyes and a question in his expression before he shyly averts his gaze. Changbin knows only for himself – he’d rather kiss Minho’s lips.

But he shouldn’t, so he doesn’t.

Instead Changbin chuckles softly, showing his amusement at Minho’s reactions. Scoffing, Minho tries to hide his own grin and red ears by hiding his face down in Changbin’s neck.

Changbin huffs and presses comfortably closer, “Good night, Minho hyung.”

It’s quiet for a moment.

In the silence, loud and clear, Changbin’s heart throbs. It’s steady for once. He does wonder whether Minho can hear it right now, still hidden in the space between Changbin’s chest and neck.

What if he does?

Finally, Minho’s arms circle his body too. Changbin feels their bodies and his heart shake a little with Minho’s chuckle – warm breath against his neck. “Good night, Changbin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#7 P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Seo Changbin  
>  **Birthday:** 11\. August, 1999  
>  **Occupation:** Music Production Major/Finance Minor (3rd Semester)  
>  **Hobbies:** playing/joking around, spoiling his friends and family, music  
>  **Other (1) :** has weekly calls with his older sister, lots of aegyo but scary when in a bad mood, the magnet of his friend group, possible dark vibes when he's on his own
> 
> * * *
> 
> it's hot.  
> just gonna throw it out here to remind you: i already pre-wrote most of the story before i even published it. finally this one is for the minbin-ers! anyway! hey, how reliable are any of their narratives in context? changbin is so gloomy at times and for what!  
> no one knows what minho thinks but what do you think?  
> i'd love to read your thoughts in the comments! ☆


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long journey through heart and mind. Call it a rollercoaster when you don't know it's a freefall tower.

“Oh,” Felix comes back from the breakfast buffee stands with a plate full of food and takes his seat back at their table, curiously he looks at Minho across from him, “Not that I don’t support the sight, but why are you laughing so hard?”

It’s the morning of their last day here of their 3-days-2-nights trip. While Minho and Changbin volunteered to watch their seats, the other six went and filled their plates, now coming back one by one. Currently they are – _finally_ according to Hyunjin – taking part in the resort hotel’s breakfast buffet.

Now it’s Changbin’s and Minho’s turn to go get their food. Technically.

Minho doesn’t answer. Well, he wants to, but he keeps breaking into laughing fits, not being able to get a proper word out. Felix smiles because Minho looks cute and like he’s having fun. But he wants answers, so Felix raises a brow at Changbin, who’s most definitely sulking.

“Minho hyung’s gonna bust a lung,” Hyunjin says with sarcastic amazement and takes a sip of his tea as he eyes Minho.

Then Jisung sits down next to Minho and curiously grins at the two who’ve been waiting, “Oh, what did we miss?”

“I’m not telling,” Changbin grumbles, a cute edge to it – he isn’t angry, Felix knows how an angry Changbin looks like, so he also knows that this Changbin is a little embarrassed and at most mildly annoyed – fun and safe to tease.

Jeongin wanders over and takes his seat next to Changbin, a teaspoon in his mouth. He takes the spoon out of his mouth to smile mischievously, “I saw what happened while I was getting my yogurt over there…” he trails off, teasingly leaning into Changbin’s space to point behind them at the yogurt bar.

Changbin only facepalms, elbow on the table and the other on his hip, and then proceeds to keep his hand on his face, looking down and not saying anything. Felix curiously looks over to Jeongin. Before he can start to tell the story, Chan and Seungmin sit down as well and they’re finally complete. Only mildly interested, they smile at the sight of a giggling Minho with raised brows before they focus on their food, only half paying attention to the conversation.

There’s a quiet, sarcastic and tired mutter of, “Great, everyone come join to hear the story.”

Minho is slowly calming down, looking at Changbin with a huge grin and eyes wet with unshed tears of laughter. Then he gestures at Jeongin to tell the story and Jeongin looks very proud to do so, “Two girls came over to our table and they asked for Minho hyung’s and Changbin hyung’s numbers.”

 _No way!_ Jisung and Felix gasp at the same time.

Jeongin nods with raised brows. _Yes way!_

Meanwhile Chan and Seungmin look only mildly interested. Hyunjin looks unimpressed, “That’s it?”

Jeongin shakes his head, smile sinister as he continues, “Changbin hyung stood up to get his phone out of his back pocket but then the girl that asked for his number looked him up and down, held up a hand and said, and I quote, ‘Nevermind! I thought you were somebody else’ and she just left.” Jeongin imitates the Typical Mean Girl Voice and everything too.

“Because our Changbinnie baby was shorter than the mean girl,” Minho coos between his giggles and reaches to pat Changbin’s hair as his face is still hidden behind his hand.

Everyone bursts into laughter. Chan almost spits his water out, a bit dribbles down his chin and he needs a napkin. In between everyone’s laughs Changbin mutters something along the lines of, “Hey, it’s not that funny! None of us are tall and Hyunjin only looks tall because he hangs out with us.”

While they’re having fun laughing and teasing Changbin (except Chan, who calms down pretty quickly to say they’re all fun sized kings except Hyunjin who is a standard sized king), hotel staff comes over to hush them.

Respectfully they shut up.

“Well,” Hyunjin says, sitting there with his hands in his lap and blankly staring at his plate, “I do wanna know one more thing though.”

Jeongin looks at him, “What?”

Felix blinks. The most important thing, of course!

So Felix smiles, puts his elbows on the table and rests his head on his folded hands to flutter his lashes at Minho, who only gives him an amused quirk of his lips. “Did you give out your number, Minho hyung? Was she your type?” Felix pitches his voice higher to ask cutely.

This time it’s Jisung who chokes on his drink, but they all ignore him just as much, waiting with bated breath for Minho’s answer. They’re all young single men, can you blame them for their curiosity? Also, Minho is their friend. Felix be damned if he let some random girls pick him up instead of someone they actually approve of (like _one of their friends right here at the table_ , hello). In his head Felix calls it the Minho Protection Squad. Every friend of his has one like that in his mind so it’s fair.

“What do you think?” Minho smirks, demeanour confident and almost lazy as he leans back in his seat. Without another word Minho gets up and pulls Changbin up with him by his hoodie’s hood (Changbin splutters at the loss of air for a hot second). With a wink, Minho gestures that they’re going to get their food now too. They leave.

What a tease! Felix mouth drops open.

Everyone looks at Jeongin. He raises his hands in defense and smiles cutely, “It’s more fun if I don’t tell.”

“10.000₩ says Minho didn’t,” Hyunjin raises his hand, “Anyone wants to take bets with me?”

“I think we all know he didn’t give his number to some random girl,” Chan chuckles, leaning slightly forward on his elbows on the table. Then he raises an amused eyebrow at Jisung, who’s been quiet, “Right?”

Jisung blinks, still rubbing his sore throat from getting water in the wrong pipe before, “Right…”

Heh. Felix grins evilly. Look at Jisungie’s cute little confused blinking. His denying mind is probably busy justifying whatever trace of jealous curiosity he feels. Felix rolls his eyes, finding it funny but choosing not to point it out after yesterday’s crisis. Next to him, Hyunjin sighs. Probably thinking the same thing as Felix but not finding it cute at all, judging by the eyeroll very unlike Felix’s.

“I’m actually kind of surprised Hyunjin didn’t have anyone flirt with him here,” Chan comments for a change of topics.

Hyunjin smiles proudly, “Excuse you, Chan hyung. People see a loyal man and keep walking.”

“Loyal to who? Kkami?” Seungmin huffs through a laugh.

 _To you_ , Felix sighs and shakes his head in turn with a smile, finding Seungmin’s obliviousness entertaining. It has Hyunjin pouting over at Seungmin, “I love Kkami but I only have eyes for you, Seungminnie.”

Seungmin looks up and over Felix to blink at Hyunjin. Then he lets out another short laugh like he understood some joke, nods a few times and turns back to his food with a smile. No wait, Seungmin, you did not understand a thing for once in your life!

Hyunjin presses his lips into a thin smile and rubs a hand over his face.

“Don’t touch your face too much or you’ll get pimples,” Felix recommends.

Seungmin taps Felix shoulder gently and when Felix turns again, Seungmin holds a fork up to his lips and he smiles, “Try these pancakes, they’re really amazing!”

As accepting as ever, Felix hums at the taste and nods happily, “I’ll get some more for the both of us next round!” (Right after, he catches Hyunjin’s slightly jealous but mostly longing face; Felix mouths him a silent apology.)

A few minutes later Felix gets up and leaves only to come back shortly after with pancakes, Changbin and Minho.

All together again, Felix looks around the table of his best friends. Jeongin getting teased by Chan and Changbin only to roast them in retaliation on one end. Hyunjin, Jisung and Seungmin falling into a discussion about cleaning ethics that turns more heated with every minute, on the other.

In the middle of it all Minho is as quiet as Felix right now, comfortably basking in their friends’ presence. They exchange understanding smiles.

None of the eight of them can really be classified as quiet personalities but compared to the other six Minho and Felix are often quiet and calmer than the others – Seungmin as well but he has less qualms about joining a conversation or making someone listen, whereas Minho and Felix often end up quiet unless they feel comfortable, are in the mood or feel it’s necessary to speak up. Their moments of noise, for lack of better word, come in bursts from time to time, here and there. Sometimes louder than the others too. They’re a little similar in that sense.

That’s probably one of the many reasons why Felix feels so comfortable with Minho. He almost giggles at the thought. Just like his other six friends, Minho is an interesting person. It’s always fun to be around him but he takes care of his loved ones well too. Despite often complaining about it, Minho is always there for everyone and very reliable. For example with Felix – whether it be for visiting their favourite dog café in the heart of Seoul, helping him with his Korean studies or listening to his worries, jokes and stories. Felix worries about overthinking sometimes, because Felix thinks a lot and a lot of those thoughts are useless too. But Minho always says he doesn’t mind at all when Felix speaks those thoughts out loud to him. And since Minho is kind of weird too, he easily accepts Felix’s weirdness.

What an interesting hyung. Felix is glad he made the decision to come to Korea, where he has made so many interesting and sweet friends. Sometimes they make him believe in fate.

Each one of their eight is unique and a little unusual (and more so together). Although Minho probably takes the cake for the top spot at being the weirdest among them, and that is said in all fondness. The way the eight of them are, the way they met and the things they experience from a range of adventures, boring days, good times and bad times, they’ve come to always stay together.

Felix adores his seven best friends and knows they adore him right back.

The eight boys pose for a group photo before they board the travel bus back to Seoul. They all hug each other, pose funny and laugh. It’s a friendship captured forever.

On the ride back to Seoul they pair up again. Felix and Chan sit in the back of the bus, switching back and forth between English and Korean trying to make the other slip up on words. Jeongin sits with Changbin a little further down from the other two, they mostly keep to themselves unless it’s to tease the other here and there or talk about the view (“Look, there’s a bunch of cows, hyung!” – “Didn’t you see the sheep five minutes ago? I think we’re close to a village.” – “Why didn’t you say anything about the sheep?? I didn’t see them!”). Hyunjin happily sits with Seungmin (finally!) and they talk about anything that comes to mind, Hyunjin likes to hear his voice so much that at some point he just keeps asking questions while Seungmin tries to get Hyunjin to talk more instead.

Last but not least, Jisung has his head on Minho’s shoulder and watches the scenery outside go by. Minho has the window seat, doing the same. They don’t really talk much either, both having their earphones in, but they share with each other if they see something funny or interesting either out the window or on their smartphones when they check it and scroll through social media. Jisung loves the pleasant comfort Minho gives him just by being together like this again.

The hours pass quickly. Maybe too quickly.

* * *

Back in Seoul everything is back to normal, or maybe they’re all even closer to each other than before for some reason. Nothing special happens. Still, life keeps everyone busy.

At the dance studio Minho, Hyunjin and Felix find themselves preparing for a competition next to their daily lives. Felix has been learning how to cook, lest him and Seungmin almost burn the kitchen down again. Seungmin eats and reviews Felix’s food before they invite the others over to try it too. Chan easily becomes a regular helper and taster. Next to all of his law books, Seungmin ponders about the TA position one of his professors has offered him for the next summer semester. Jeongin makes more friends, gets a little popular and the fright of being a confused first semester kid slowly dies out (although he will always stay confused). He looks forward to the theatre elective he shares with Seungmin and Hyunjin – plus Hyunjin’s course partner Yeji – every Wednesday. Chan gets a promotion at his part-time job and is now allowed to host a little sub-segment for a local night-time radio show. Next to that, 3RACHA works on some new tracks where they can, together or alone – apparently, each of them is full of fresh inspiration.

Sometimes they see and meet each other on campus or in their shared homes. But every second week, at least, they still have one of their MG events.

Christmas and new years pass as everyone goes to their family home for the holidays; even Chan, Felix and Jisung find the chance to visit their families overseas. Chan and Felix are in Australia, while Jisung is currently in Malaysia. They all keep in touch, whether privately or per group chat. Some of them – like Jeongin and Felix or Minho and Jisung too – even have some phone calls, talking about nothing and everything.

And Jisung. Jisung, he, you see, he has been experimenting… No, not the way you imagine. He’s supposed to _think_ so, he didn’t get touchy with anyone and didn’t meet anyone new. He’s a young adult with an internet connection! Oh, and there’s also many shows, dramas and anime to watch for literally any topic. He’s been big on research in many aspects – as, uh, theoretical it all is. But it works fine, which surprises Jisung.

What comes as an even bigger surprise is the dance choreography video Minho sends into their group chat late at night – or well, the reaction Jisung has to it which he tries not to make a big deal out of. No, no, no.

The video’s filming location seems to be a dance studio in Gimpo. Jisung clicks on it as soon as his smartphone has downloaded it, laying in bed in sleepwear – ready to sleep really. In the video, Minho is also in sweatpants and oh, a sleeveless white shirt. Of course, the song is a remix which starts slow and sensual. Beats and lyrics as erotic as the way Minho moves his body. A practiced natural.

As if the moves aren’t provocative enough, a few even have Jisung’s breath hitching. Between body waves, hip thrusts, a smooth flow and dark eyes on a smouldering expression, Jisung wonders who filmed the video for Minho and wishes it could’ve been him seeing it live instead of whoever is holding the camera. Minho easily flirts with the camera. The beats grow stronger and Minho falls gracefully into the powerful hip-hop change.

Minho has this magic: he makes it look like the music follows him, rather than Minho following the music.

Once the video ends on a sweaty Minho laying on the studio floor and the camera comes close to him from above, Minho giggles brightly through catching his breath.

 _Wow._ Intense. Right here in his bedroom, Jisung lets out a heavy sigh. Minho does not only move his body and the music, but he also moves a lot of things inside of ~~Jisung~~ people.

**Group Chat: YOuR beHAviOUR is SO uGH!!**

**Minho:** [Video attached.]  
 **Minho:** What do you guys think? This is part of the performance for the upcoming competition. Shower me with compliments, go  
 **Minho:** But if you have something to criticize say it too because this competition is important and stuff thanks

 **Hyunjin:** i got front row seats for this before we left for the holidays and bet your whole ass this is even more amazing in person

 **Felix:** omg yes minho hyung slay!! it was already awesome to see live but i will keep this video forever thank you for blessing me yet again. it’s great!!  
 **Felix:** someone better film our performance at the competition (@ seungminnie 💕). i need that stuff in hd  
 **Felix:** for the memories ^^

 **Chan:** Wait why are none of you sleeping… it’s 1am… lol

 **Jeongin:** he said lol…  
 **Jeongin:** also, looks great minho hyung you’re gonna win for sure. idk that much about dance but it was nice to watch ^^

What does Jisung think about the choreography? Well, one look down to the tent in Jisung’s sweatpants is enough to answer that question. Who even gets like this about a friend, dumbass… Naturally he’ll let Minho know of his opinion.

Just… remember not to be weird, Jisung. Be as simple as the way you’ve saved their contact names. _Simple_ , man.

 **Chan:** What’s wrong with saying lol? Anyway Minho the choreography is good. Glad you liked my remix hehe! You absolutely own that track with those movements and energy. Great job! Hehe

 **Jeongin:** “Hehe” 2x…

 **Hyunjin:** lmao

 **Felix:** fuck yeah chan hyung saying it how it is

woah looks awesome minho hyung. you practically make  
the music follow you. wish i could’ve seen it live already too :)

 **Chan:** So Hyunjin can say lmao but I can’t say lol? :/

Jisung typed and erased the little message multiple times before he settled on this. Friendly, not weird at all but still honest. Because Minho did awesome. Really good. He captivated Jisung completely – literally, even his body is impressed like gee, great, thanks buddy! Let’s please ignore that part – and there’s no way Minho won’t be a winner at that dance competition, no matter who’s going to be a rival. His skills and expertise are on another level, even Jisung can see that.

Hold on. Shit, Jisung has never used that emoji with Minho before! Or any of his best friends for that matter! “:)” huh???

But hey, at least he kept it short and didn’t add the exclamation marks like he wanted to at first after all. Right? So not _that_ obvious. Shit, just forget it. It’s too late to take back anyway. Jisung locks his phone and throws it next to him, staring at the ceiling in wait. Hopefully Minho won’t look right through that message. Exposed through an emoji – damn, Jisung it’s so obvious to everyone now that you got a boner. For _your friend Minho_. How could you do this again? Damn.

More importantly though… can you pray a boner away? Is that a thing?

Jisung ruffles through his hair at his dirty imagination not leaving him and jumps a little when his phone vibrates next to him. The stupid thing is usually bad at proper notifications and tonight it works just fine… _I see how it is_ , Jisung glares at it. He picks it up to check the group chat again. Maybe it’ll distract from the problem (not, haha!) at hand.

 **Seungmin:** I’m only awake because I forgot to mute this chat again. You’re all terrible for disrupting my sleep. But it looks really amazing, Minho hyung. You remind me of a demon. We’ll be cheering for you. It’s really good.

 **Changbin:** you’re mesmerising minho hyung  
 **Changbin:** hot demon 👍 👍

 **Minho:** thanks, love you everyone 😘 😘

 **Hyunjin:** hyung it’s ultra-suspicious when you say stuff like that but… love you too I guess…

 **Felix:** 💘💘💘💘💘

 **Seungmin:** I’m not saying it back.

 **Minho:** Ungrateful… Shut up go to sleep goodnight

Alright, let’s leave it at that. Jisung locks his phone (ignoring all the other messages coming in from the group chat) and thinks he should probably go to sleep, so he turns his phone on silent and puts it on his nightstand.

Unfortunately, the heat between his legs isn’t forgotten. Jisung tries to think of pure things and flowers. Even thinks of disgusting things.

Yeah. Falling asleep comes easy tonight. Absolutely.

(The heat follows Jisung into his dreams. There he meets Minho in the dance studio and it’s all very sweet at first. He even gets to play camera man like he wanted to. Yeah, it’s all very sweet until Minho lays on the floor, sweaty and panting. A chuckle too realistic escapes his lips; amongst other things.

All just like the video but not quite – it’s a different kind of sweet than the dream began with.

Sweaty and panting, Jisung wakes up just like that, too. Add a pinch of shame.)

* * *

Once they’re all back after the holidays for university, they simply fall back into their regular daily lives. The break has – for the most part – taken a lot of stress off their shoulders, filling them with renewed energy.

There are parties around campus and also privately organised by students. Hyunjin and Chan grace some of them with their popular presence while Changbin and Minho decline all the invitations, not interested at the time. Minho wants to focus on university work and dancing, practicing together with Hyunjin and Felix. A few times Felix joins those parties though. But he never stays long and goes back to the apartment, taking care of Seungmin who he always catches deep in his studies late into the night. Once Hyunjin knows of this, he’s over at their place more often and helping take care of Seungmin – two voices of reasons are better than one, but Seungmin always listens to them either way and lets them fuss over him. It’s heart-warming to him, but he doesn’t want to say it.

Jeongin and Jisung find themselves at dormitory parties – which Jisung used to avoid like the plague but Jeongin is a curious fox. Jeongin also drags Jisung along to one he’s privately invited to out of campus. Needless to say, they come back regretting the event and promising each other to just erase it out of their memories. Meanwhile Minho follows Chan and Felix to the boxing gym way more often (still drags Hyunjin along as his assistant who complains but complies) but also makes time for iced americano with Jisung – Jeongin joins sometimes, also a fan.

Felix bakes brownies for everyone nowadays. Minho dubs him Brownie Boy and loves what he’s offered. Chan begs for chocolate chip cookies. Jisung – who’s always a sucker for the cookies Seungmin and Felix buy and keep in their apartment – begs for those Felix-made cookies as well. Apparently he really needs them these days if his “Felix, I’m begging you, I’m going through it! Store-bought isn’t enough anymore!” isn’t enough of an indicator. Felix gives both of them a “you’re annoying”, followed by an eyeroll every time, but secretly looks up recipes anyway.

Of course, they all mind their university work and exams first and foremost… kind of. They do study and do well enough, no worries. The 2000s basically cry together in the library while Jeongin studies with friends of his major and the hyung line scatters to study alone most of the time.

At one of their MG events Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jeongin invite the rest of them to the end of their theatre course. Remember the one about chemistry? There’s a premiere. Jeongin is very excited about this. The professor is quite a scatter-brained woman though so there’s no set date for that yet. The boys just tell everyone to be ready. That prompts Hyunjin to add a reminder for the invitation to the dance competition him, Minho and Felix will be part of. 3RACHA wonders whether they should join some underground rap battle or something to somehow throw an invite out too.

At first it seems very much like pure normalcy.

“Yo,” Jisung starts. There’s something he had been thinking about for a while now. There’s been a lot on his mind, about himself and all the things he promised himself to think properly about, like Minho for example. It seems like a good time to bring this topic up, here as he lay on the floor of one of the music building’s recording rooms with his arms behind his head as a pillow. It’s actually comfortable down here.

Also, the ceiling looks kind of cool.

Chan sits on the big desk chair in front of the tech table, still working on stuff, while Changbin lays on the couch, head in Hyunjin’s lap, as he scrolls through his phone. 3RACHA has just finished recording two new songs (this time it’s for academic purposes: graded projects), although Jisung doesn’t know why Hyunjin is here; dude hasn’t done a thing but suck on his lollipop the whole time (how has he not finished it yet? It’s been a few hours).

“You guys always say I’m in love with Minho hyung but you never say that type of shit to Minho hyung,” Jisung continues, finding himself frowning in annoyance even just saying it out loud, “Like, when we first befriended him you told both of us we looked like we’re in love with each other, but a few months into the friendship you guys focused on annoying me, like up until now. Why is that?”

After a moment – why does Hyunjin look at him like that? – Changbin answers him without looking away from his phone, sounding tired of either all the work they have finished today and/or the topic itself, “I still tease Minho hyung though. But unlike you, Minho hyung doesn’t really react that much, if you haven’t noticed. He has three types of reactions he goes through like a circle, and they’re all really mild and calm.”

“I don’t know what you mean by mild,” Hyunjin adds with a pout, popping the lollipop out of his mouth with a wet ‘pop’, “I’m too scared of Minho hyung to try shit.”

“You did stop trying to bother him about that really quickly, what did he do?” Changbin curiously looks up at Hyunjin from his spot on his lap, “Then again, while I clearly see your fear, you’re probably the one having most fun bothering Minho with literally anything else. So why not that too?”

A quick genuine grin from Hyunjin, “Oh, I love the thrill of walking on thin ice whenever I have my fun testing Minho hyung’s limits. And I love reaching those limits too,” Then his smile drops. “And _that topic_ is one I have learned to avoid with him.” Hyunjin shudders, sadly staring ahead as if having the memories in front of him, “All of his public punishments for me are nothing compared to what he’s capable of in private. One day he said he’d teach me a lesson. Let’s just say he did teach me that lesson in a matter of a night. I was never the same since.”

Changbin narrows his eyes at the weirdly vague answer, “But what did he–”

“Excuse me, we were talking about me,” Jisung raises his voice in mocked formal speech and raises his hand too before letting his hand and formal speech fall away again once he got their attention back, “What are those reactions exactly, Changbin hyung?”

“Oh yeah, sure,” Changbin looks at him now, from his spot above Jisung, “I still tease him sometimes about you two, but the reactions are the same and have never really changed. Option A) He laughs and starts hitting me. B) He says and I quote ‘It’s not me who likes Han, it’s Hannie who likes me’ and C) He gives you a soulless stare and says some shit like ‘So?’ or ‘What about it?’. Bottom line is, if you wanna tease Minho hyung, you’ll have to be able to take the consequences because he doesn’t fear getting physical.” Changbin shrugs, nods like he’s done with the conversation and turns back to his phone.

Hyunjin nods too, putting the lollipop back in his mouth and moving it to his cheek to speak, “I agree with the last statement.”

“Well, I guess I kind of knew that already. All in all, doesn’t sound too bad,” Jisung adds his own nod, considering it.

“Ah,” Changbin looks at him again, “I just remembered there is a fourth option! D) He starts aggressively flirting with whoever one of us is nearest, bonus points if it’s you, Jisungie.”

“Huh, kinda don’t feel so special anymore,” Jisung frowns at the ceiling.

“So you do know that he flirts with you?!” Hyunjin gasps indignantly.

Jisung shrugs and shoots him a glare, “He flirts with _all_ of us, Hyunjin.”

“Oh no no no,” Hyunjin waves a hand and shakes his head with feeling, “Let me quote our favourite poet here, Lee Felix Yongbok, when I say, _‘It’s all in the details’_! It’s different with you. Love is in all the little details, you prick.”

“Felix writes poetry?” Changbin raises a brow.

“No,” Hyunjin replies.

“Because we’re _soulmates_ , Hyunjin,” Jisung reminds him and taps the side of his own head gesturing for him to think logically, “Let me tell you once again that neither of us is in love with the other.”

Hyunjin sighs, bordering on a groan and shakes his head, “I’m so not getting into that argument again. Minho hyung’s disappointed stare is even worse than his pissed off one.” Then Hyunjin thoughtfully lowers his eyes and voice, not looking at Changbin but on his own hand on Changbin’s head that pets his hair, “Both kind of hot… but make you feel bad about yourself.”

Jisung gives him a look that says ‘I’m so done with you’. When Hyunjin notices that, he gives Jisung a shrug like it’s a simple fact. Well, yeah, fine. Minho _is_ that attractive, ok, Jisung gets it. He really does. :) Jisung appreciates the visuals all the time too, doesn’t mean he has to hear others do the same. It leaves a weird taste in his mouth and…

Hold on. “Hey, I still don’t get why you’re so adamant to annoy me about the whole thing then? Don’t I react the same way as Minho hyung?”

“Yeah, you just additionally fight me about it and give me a headache. But, you see,” Hyunjin shrugs, “I don’t respect you like that.”

“Hey!” Jisung sits up, offended, “That’s rude!”

“I know it’s rude because I don’t respect you,” Hyunjin shrugs again, rolling the lollipop around in his mouth before taking it out for a moment to continue, “But also, I want you and Minho hyung, two of my bestest best friends, to have a happy love story! You’re just easier to approach on this topic than hyung is.”

Ugh, cheesy as fuck. Cute. Still annoying though. Jisung pouts and frowns and huffs from his seat on the floor, “Look, I get it but–”

“Don’t worry about it! Damn, I told you I’d stop,” Hyunjin interrupts him in an instant, “I only answered your questions, but I won’t actively talk to you about it anymore on my own accord. I’m not stopping for you though, like I said, I’m stopping for Minho hyung. Don’t get me wrong though, I still think you’re each other’s fated love story.”

Before Jisung can retort, Changbin gets up from Hyunjin’s lap and the couch, stretching wide. Changbin smiles down at his smartphone screen before he pockets the thing and gives them all (even the back of Chan’s busy head) a smile too, “I’ll catch the bus home now. See you whenever.” Then he packs his things, shrugs his leather jacket on and promptly leaves with a spring in his step before anyone can even react much.

Jisung looks at Hyunjin. For a minute Hyunjin stares at the door, then looks at Jisung, “I’ll go too. I think Seungmin might still be in the library… bye!” And with that he’s gone too.

Dumbfounded, Jisung frowns at the closed studio door.

They literally live together and yet they don’t even wait for the one man with the car: Bang Chan.

Jisung has neither a driver’s license nor patient mentality to learn how to drive a car. But he’ll still wait for Chan for a free ride home even if they don’t live together and the dorms are right near campus. It’s getting late and dark outside, you know?

Now Jisung and Chan are the only ones left in the recording studio: Chan still working on stuff on the tech table, gaze glued to the monitors and chunky headphones on instead of his usual tiny wireless bluetooth ones, and Jisung, still sitting on the floor like a lost kid. No. Adult. Technically. Calling yourself an adult is scary when you’re a university student in your twenties and have no idea about anything ever.

Whatever.

Well, at least Jisung (kind of) got his questions answered. Although he doesn’t get what Minho could have done to Hyunjin for him to respect? fear? him that much. Now that Jisung thinks about it Hyunjin often flinches and sometimes apologises right after he teases Minho even the tiniest bit, but they’re still pretty close friends. Whatever Minho had done, must have been effective enough but Hyunjin still teases and roasts Minho all the time.

Huh, Jisung’s kinda curious now.

But that’s a question for later. Maybe he’ll even ask Minho himself. Like a mature person would.

Looking at the back of Chan’s head reminds Jisung of what had been said on the ski trip.

Chan’s right, what Jisung feels for Minho is pretty intense. But Jisung stands by the fact that it is not romantic love. And yet when Jisung had seen Jeongin whisper that it’s true love to Chan and Chan gesturing for it to be a secret, Jisung had felt exposed and naked but he didn’t know why – it happens every time someone makes a more serious remark about what Jisung and Minho have between them. A little panic had bubbled up inside of him. Thankfully Minho had pulled him down to earth again.

As Jisung has basically promised himself, he had been – no – has been thinking and _is_ thinking about himself, but also about Minho, Minho and him, them together, a lot. (Rarely – Jisung begs himself to keep calling it ‘rarely’ – the rating of those thoughts change too.)

It’s nothing new – finding himself thinking about Minho. These days it’s just more deliberate than before. Yet it still feels natural. It’s so easy to have Minho on his mind, even for dumb poetry games he finds a way into Jisung’s thoughts and ends up included in Jisung’s acrostic poems.

Sometimes Jisung even feels a little embarrassed when he realises just how easy it is for him and people call him out on it. Especially when he is with Minho in person. When Jisung thinks about Minho like that while being with Minho, Jisung acts stupid.

With a sigh, Jisung lays back down on the floor again and closes his eyes. Arms and legs spread like the snow angels Jeongin and him had made on the ski trip.

Minho and Jisung have been making time for each other again so the last instance of Jisung acting stupid unprompted around Minho had been just yesterday: Minho was just sitting next to him in the cinema and the two of them unconsciously leaned towards each other, eyes on the big screen, and whispered about how easy the storyline of the horror movie was to guess. Then suddenly both of them got startled by a jumpscare and Jisung automatically hid his face in Minho’s shoulder since it was already so close and held onto his arm. When he looked back up, Minho was smiling at him in amusement.

And Jisung, like an idiot, somehow had to look at his lips and wonder about how Minho’s lips feel – so close, so casual, so rosy and inviting. It was so natural to think it, so natural to look at his lips and start to lean in to get a taste – in that moment he was mostly expecting the taste of popcorn and cola.

Then he met Minho’s eyes again. Jisung only realised what he the hell he was doing a second later of getting lost in Minho’s eyes, which curiously blinked at him – probably because Jisung has been staring, yet again, and leaning in too.

The next moment had Jisung blushing hard and scrambling to sit back properly in his seat again. Only to accidently throw the entire popcorn container at Minho in the process.

To say the least Minho was pissed off at Jisung for the waste of food that landed on his hair and clothes and sulked about it for the rest of the evening. Never mind Minho’s confusion as to why, because there wasn’t even a jumpscare Jisung could blame his weird behaviour on. Jisung apologised like ten times. Nothing special or new happened between them, just another daily moment and yet Jisung panicked just like that.

How embarrassing.

In the present, Jisung facepalms himself just thinking about it. And he smacks his forehead a few times for good measure too – just like he had done when he arrived back in the dorms that day. Stupid, stupid, stupid–

“What’s got your panties in a twist?”

Jisung screams.

Then he takes a breath. “Please don’t scare me like that. Also, don’t ever say that phrase again, Bang Chan hyung.”

Chan shrugs, headphones down around his shoulders and ears finally free, “You know I’ve been here the whole time. If you’re thinking hard enough to forget that, I think you do have your panties in a twist.”

Jisung groans and grimaces in disgust at the wording, “Please stop. My undergarments are fine, thank you very much. Are you finished? Let’s go home.”

“You could’ve left whenever; your dorm is right around campus.”

“I’m a good friend that waited for you, Chan hyung.”

“Your lazy ass just wants me to drive you the little bit to your dorm building.”

Jisung shrugs, smiles and sits up criss-cross, hands on the floor between his legs in a cute manner to show some charm with his eyes wide and lips pouty, “Channie hyungie, please take Hannie with you. You can drop Hannie off at home or take Hannie with you to your apartment, Hannie doesn’t mind either!”

“Cut it out,” Chan shakes his head, smile turning into stone as his eyes glaze over into emptiness, “I’ll drive you to your dorm.”

Jisung drops the cute act and narrows his eyes, “Are you saying you don’t enjoy my majestic presence in your apartment?”

“I thought you didn’t mind either?” Chan counters.

“Fair enough,” Jisung crosses his arms with a huff, then glances over at the monitors, “You finished then? Let’s go.”

They pack their stuff and leave the arts building. The clock has long reached eight and the sky is darkening with it. But the light from the streetlamps and buildings around them keeps everything illuminated just fine. On the way down the stairs of the music building’s entrance, they see a few students still lingering around campus.

When they reach Chan’s car in the parking lot area, they surprisingly see two figures already there, illuminated by the few surrounding streetlights. But they haven’t noticed Chan and Jisung coming over yet.

And Jisung slows his footsteps at the sight. Automatically Chan does too but gives him a questioning expression, “What are you slowing down for? It’s just Changbin and Minho.”

“Yeah, but what are they doing,” Jisung asks but it sounds too flat to be a question. The air feels colder suddenly. Not in the way that it makes you shudder, but in the way that bites into your skin.

Minho is leaning back against the car door on the driver’s side. The gap between Chan’s car and the next one is rather narrow, but Minho seems to have chosen to stand there anyway. With his hand fisted in Changbin’s shirt, fabric crumbled between his fingers on his chest and keeping Changbin’s body pressed against him – although that doesn’t seem to be a hard job, as Changbin already has his arms caging Minho in, his hands pressed against Chan’s car. The smile on Minho’s lips has Changbin’s eyes crinkle a little too, it’s a playful one but it has a hint of something else in there too that Jisung can’t really place. And Changbin has a suspicious smirk on his face as the two share intense eye contact, seemingly oblivious to the newly arrived audience.

Jisung isn’t sure why he feels so irritated all of a sudden. Probably because what his hyungs are doing is inappropriate and dangerous in the narrow space between two parked cars. Hey, what if they accidently scratch Chan’s car, or worse, the stranger’s car? Okay, they’re not really doing much besides having their _bodies pressed against each other_ (that part _is_ much!) and leaning against their friend’s car but the whole scene just pisses Jisung off, so he’ll label it inappropriate. Although that much public physical touch is inappropriate in public anyway, even if no one’s around.

“You having fun?” Jisung asks and the coldness in his voice visibly surprises Chan, but himself too. But he can’t really focus on it, eyes glued on Minho and Changbin and where they’re touching.

Jisung expects the two to jump apart, caught in the act of whatever it is, but they don’t. Minho and Changbin don’t look startled or caught doing something inappropriate at all. On the contrary they just casually take their time to end whatever game that is. The two look each other up and down before they pull away from each other at the same time – Minho letting go of Changbin’s shirt and Changbin taking his hands off the car, no more caging Minho in. Changbin leaves the narrow space between the two cars first and walks to stand in front of the car instead as he smooths down his shirt. Jisung gives the crumbled space on his shirt a look of distaste. It gives him a strange sense of déjà-vu.

The smirk on Changbin’s face is a welcoming smile now, “I was hoping you were still around, Chan hyung.” But Jisung isn’t even looking at him anymore. Jisung’s eyes glue themselves to Minho’s side profile. Minho still has remnants of a smile on his face as he still faces where Changbin stood just a moment ago, but now looking into the distance instead.

Jisung isn’t sure why but he kind of wants Minho to know he’s irritated.

Finally, Minho looks over to them too and gives Jisung and Chan an innocent wave and smile as well, eyes lingering on Jisung’s in confused curiosity of the hostile glare he’s receiving. Jisung ignores the happy flutter in his tummy with a gulp, in favour of the totally _rational_ irritation he’s feeling.

“I thought you wanted to take the bus,” Chan replies casually, taking his keys out of his pockets and unlocking the car. It bothers Jisung how Chan isn’t bothered by the scene before at all.

Minho raises his brow at Jisung, one last time questioning his hostility, before he breaks off their eye contact to smile at Chan and step away from the driver side’s door and bending down to pick up his gym bag, “Changbin and I wanted to take the bus, but we kind of got distracted.”

“That much was obvious,” Jisung comments coldly, and he thinks about sitting shotgun. Just as the thought comes up, Changbin is already moving to sit in the passenger seat, depositing his own bag between his legs on the car floor and closing the car door behind him, but not before giving Jisung a confused but miffed look for the tone.

Again, Minho raises a brow at Jisung but chooses not to react otherwise as he looks at Chan again with a pout, “We missed the bus, hyungie, and I’m tired from the late hours at the dance studio.”

“Hop right in, hard worker,” Chan ruffles Minho’s hair affectionately and Minho breaks into a satisfied grin, immediately taking the space in the backseat and throwing his gym bag into the car’s trunk from there. Right, Minho has been tirelessly going to dance practice, give dance lessons and prepare for group and solo choreographies for the upcoming competition.

Maybe Minho texted Changbin to come pick him up, now that Jisung thinks back to when Changbin left the studio in such a hurry. And that’s fine, really. But somehow it still stings, thinking about how Changbin and Minho wanted to go home alone together if they hadn’t missed the bus. All of them could have gone home together from the start, right?

Although Jisung would’ve come running too, if Minho had asked only him instead. It’s their thing, after all; usually it’s Minho and Jisung. But hey, they’re all best friends so maybe Minho just wanted some alone time with Changbin.

But what were they doing? What were they going to do before Jisung and Chan interrupted them?

And would Minho touch Jisung like he touched Changbin, too?

“Jisung, what are you waiting for?” Chan asks, there’s a knowing smile on his face that doesn’t budge at Jisung’s bitter expression.

Jisung shrugs and moves, taking the backseat with Minho.

The ride to the dorm building feels longer and the space of the empty middle seat between Jisung and Minho feels bigger than it really is. The car is filled by the soft volume of music on Chan’s smartphone connected per aux-cord.

With a hand Jisung goes through his hair, momentarily thinking about how the silver highlights in his black hair are growing out and fading slowly.

Another moment later he finds his gaze drawn to the man beside him. Irritation from before boils down to an unfamiliar feeling Jisung can’t quite describe, it has a gloomy pitch to it. Even when he thinks back to how close Minho and Changbin were just moments ago, all it makes Jisung feel now is that he’d like it if Minho touched him like that, because Minho never had a fist in Jisung’s shirt to pull and press their bodies together.

Jisung likes physical affection, that’s nothing new. Even if for this wish, he wants to be the only one Minho does that to.

While Minho looks outside the car window and watches the scenery pass by, his side profile is as beautiful as always – streetlights lending light every now and then. On the empty seat between them lays his hand, while the other rests in his lap. Minho is wearing a black windbreaker, under it probably a thick hoodie or sweater, and one of his many black sweatpants. From the slightly damp unstyled hair and the light smell of shampoo, Jisung knows he must’ve freshly showered back at the dance studio.

Maybe Jisung shouldn’t be so obviously letting his eyes travel over Minho like that but he can’t help it. He doesn’t really want to stop it either.

Jisung feels his heart quicken just by the thought of reaching out and holding Minho’s hand. It makes him feel nervous. Normally he’d hold himself back. But Jisung promised himself to be more honest and be a better friend, so he just gulps down every quick beat of his heart and reaches over.

His fingertips only lightly meet those of Minho – yet, it already feels electric.

In an instant Minho is looking down at their touching fingertips on the empty seat between them. Jisung watches him for a reaction but there is practically none. Minho isn’t even blinking; he’s just looking. As if he’s waiting to see what Jisung will do next.

Feeling bold, maybe due to the blood rush to his head, Jisung carefully slots his fingers in between Minho’s so they’re kind of holding hands. They look and feel like they’re made for each other – their hands, is what Jisung means. Or maybe the two of them as people too?

At that Minho raises his head to look at him, Jisung sees it in his peripheral vision.

Letting out a shaky breath that he hasn’t noticed he has been holding, Jisung meets Minho’s gaze.

Suddenly Jisung doesn’t feel so nervous anymore. Relieved, his heart calms down, when all he sees is Minho blinking at him with an air of innocent curiosity. Right now, Jisung isn’t sure what he expected or why he was nervous in the first place.

This is Minho after all.

Minho’s hands are way softer than Jisung’s, and a little smaller too, but more veiny due to all the time spent dancing and in the gym. Jisung’s hands are calloused at places from playing the strings on his guitar for all his songs and, unlike Minho, he rarely uses hand cream.

But Jisung likes the contrast between their hands and likes touching Minho’s soft hand with his rougher one.

A little confused, Minho tilts his head, unconsciously jutting his bottom lip out in a pout and brows furrowing the tiniest bit. He looks back down to their intertwined hands and back up to Jisung in an unspoken question.

Jisung shrugs, feeling comfortably warm. “Just wanted to,” Jisung quietly says and grins bright when Minho finally smiles back. Albeit still a little confused, he seems to just accept it. Their hands stay together for the rest of the ride and they both turn away from each other to look out the car windows and watch the scenery go by.

That’s when Jisung realises where they’re headed.

“Wait, we’ve definitely passed my dorm building,” Jisung realises out loud, perplexed. He turns his head to look at Chan in the front seat, “Chan hyung?”

“Chan hyung was gonna stop to drop you off but you two were having a moment so…” Changbin vaguely gestures with a hand, voice flat in disinterest and eyes on the road ahead, “… we decided not to disturb.”

Jisung blinks, gaze falling back down to their connected hands, “Oh.”

“ _Oh_ ,” Changbin sighs. But Chan is chuckling, “Guess you’re sleeping over, Jisungie.”

And Minho hides an amused smile behind his free hand, acting like he’s still focused on the scenery outside the car window. Of course, Jisung knows better.

Once he makes sure that Changbin and Chan aren’t paying them any attention anymore, he turns his own hand to properly hold onto Minho’s and gently traces his thumb over Minho’s knuckles.

“Guess I am,” he quietly says, fondly staring at their connection and then at Minho.

“What do you mean I’m taking the couch?” Jisung’s mouth drops in shock.

Jisung standing right outside Minho’s room’s open door, arms full with an extra blanket, a pillow and sleep wear Minho has just handed him. The t-shirt on top of his pile has cartoon bunnies happily mocking him with the swirly words ‘bun bun bun to sleep!’.

The four of them (Chan, Minho, Changbin, Jisung) all watched a movie after they had come home and hung out a little more to talk before deciding to finally go and get ready to sleep. Well, excuse Jisung for assuming he’d share the bed with Minho like he usually has the option for on sleepovers here!

Minho shrugs, face blank and not caring, “It means exactly that, you’re taking the couch.”

“But why?!”

Minho shrugs again, slightly grimacing, “I don’t feel like cuddling.”

“Then I can still sleep with you, hyung. I just won’t touch you.”

“That’s a lie and we both know it.”

Jisung frowns and stomps his feet because he doesn’t care how childish he sounds or looks, “But your bed is more comfortable than the couch!”

Changbin walks by, brushing his teeth, and he stops when he sees them arguing, “Hyunjin’s bed is free if you want you can take it for the night. He’s sleeping over at Seungmin’s and Lix’s.”

“That’s not–”

“Our couch is pretty comfortable though. It wouldn’t be the first time you sleep on it and you never had a problem with it before,” Minho adds, arms crossed.

Changbin nods in agreement, back to brushing his teeth but careful not to spill anything. Then Chan joins them too. “Why are we all in front of Minho’s door?”

“Minho hyung won’t let me sleep with him!” Jisung complains and ignores when Changbin almost chokes on his own spit, making Minho laugh in the process of it.

Chan hums with understanding but it suspiciously looks like he’s enjoying himself, “Hmm, no can do. I’m pretty sure he already got his fix for cuddles for at least an entire week. Felix slept over yesterday.”

“So? Did they sleep together or something?” Jisung raises his brows, not seeing the problem with Felix simply sleeping over.

Chan nods.

Jisung gasps. He turns back to Minho, “Minho hyung, why would you betray me like this?”

Minho still has a smile on his face from laughing at Changbin’s demise just a moment prior, raising a brow at Jisung, “Yongbokie sleeps over often, it’s not a secret. How would I betray you?”

Changbin nods in confirmation but leaves to finish his teeth brushing routine.

“Sometimes Felix comes over and sleeps either with Changbin or Minho, because,” Chan pauses and then shrugs, “because he just wants to, I think. Hyunjin on rare occasions too, but Hyunjin doesn’t do it anymore, saying he’s a loyal man now. Whatever that means.” A pause before Chan pouts at the floor as he realises, “Come to think of it, Felix never sleeps with me…”

“It’s okay. Nights with Felix quickly become too hot; you’ll sweat a lot. It’s a workout in itself. And he bites too,” Minho tells Chan casually, as if that’s reassuring and there’s nothing to miss out on.

Chan does not look reassured at all. Minho doesn’t seem to realise the weird wording. If Changbin was still here, he would’ve probably choked on his spit again. On the other hand Jisung cringes at the possible innuendo and for some reason that makes irritation bubble up inside of him again. Not wanting to stop himself, while the two older ones are focused on talking, he tries to slip past Minho and into his room.

Of course, he’s stopped by a hand on his chest almost immediately, pushing him back. Minho doesn’t even look at him as he blocks the entrance to his room.

“You’re making the whole sleeping together thing sound weird as hell,” Changbin side eyes Minho with disgust as he walks by again, finished with his night routine, to go to his own room. Apparently he’s heard them.

Minho gives him a wink and a cocky smirk, “How do you know I don’t mean it that way too?”

Changbin almost trips, definitely not the best to handle dirty jokes but holds himself upright. Quiet grumbles are all that can be heard until he finally reaches his room and closes the door behind him.

“Please don’t sleep with Felix in a weird way,” Chan says. Jisung vehemently agrees, nodding so hard his hair bounces with the movement.

They’re only given another wink, before Minho closes the door on them.

Glaring daggers at the closed door, Jisung gives up for tonight. “Fine. Guess I’m taking the couch,” he grumbles and drags himself over to the couch in the open living room area. He bids Chan a good night (who leaves with a laugh for some reason), belatedly texts Jeongin that he will spend the night here and makes himself comfortable after changing into Minho’s borrowed pyjamas.

This is not a bad couch at all, but nothing is more comfortable to Jisung than sleeping by Minho’s side. Unfortunately, sleep doesn’t find him any time soon. His mind swirling around the events of tonight, and thinking, thinking, thinking…

Consequently, he is not woken up an hour or so later, by someone padding out of their room in the dark and into the open space of living room and kitchen, on their way to the refrigerator. The lights stay turned off. Jisung watches the figure, only vaguely recognisable in the dark even though his eyes have already perfectly adjusted to the dark and the little amount of light that comes from the streetlights outside the windows.

Once the refrigerator door is open, the light illuminates the figure completely.

It’s Changbin.

Quietly and slowly Jisung sits up, thick blanket falling around his hips as he puts his arms on it and politely waits for Changbin to notice him.

A water bottle and a glass of water drunken empty later, Changbin finally turns around.

“FU–!” Changbin jumps and starts out almost fully screaming, then slams a hand over his own mouth to shut himself up when he realises it’s only Jisung, continuing his scream in a muffled whimper and eyes pressed closed to calm down. He’s dressed in all black, like a pyjama ninja.

Propping his elbow on his knee and resting his chin on it prettily, Jisung grins innocently.

When Changbin opens his eyes again, he glares and whisper-yells his frustration, pointing at Jisung as he comes over into the living room area, “What the hell, Jisung! Why are you sitting there in the dark staring at me? You know how scary it is to find some dude in the middle of the night staring at you while you were just trying to get a drink in your own apartment?!”

“Hey, I’m not just some dude,” Jisung whispers back with a pout and an offended frown, “besides, I’ve been here the whole time. You knew I had to take the couch tonight!”

“That doesn’t make my logic invalid,” Changbin replies with a scoff, not whispering anymore but speaking quietly nonetheless, “What are you doing still awake anyway? You don’t look like I woke you.”

Jisung smugly raises his brows, gives his best hip-hop hands and exaggerated pronunciation, “Couldn’t sleep, _man_. So many thoughts, _man_.”

“Stop it,” Changbin mildly cringes at him before he sits down on the other side of the couch and leans back lazily. He vaguely gestures with his hands, “Tell me what’s keeping you up so late so we can both go to sleep in peace.”

Unsure if he’s ready to talk about everything, Jisung debates brushing Changbin off.

But isn’t talking to friends about your thoughts and feelings a good thing? Chan and Jeongin keep reminding them of that fact, at their MG events especially. And Changbin is a good hyung, he has listened to Jisung’s thoughts many times before and has seen a lot of Jisung’s deepest lyrics too.

Changbin sighs and his eyes are closed when Jisung looks up, “It’s okay if you don’t wanna talk, you know? If you’re ready to talk about whatever it is and want to talk to someone, I’m here. We’re all here for you.”

That’s… sweet. Jisung knows that but it’s nice to hear it out loud from time to time too. “No, hyung, that’s not it. I wasn’t sure if I’m ready that’s all. I trust you… so I’m thinking about whether to just talk about it right now.”

“Well, if that’s the case… just do it. Don’t waste your time thinking about that too,” Changbin waves a hand, but doesn’t move otherwise. Having Changbin lean back with his eyes closed on the other end of the couch actually kind of helps Jisung feel more safe and ready to talk. Changbin’s always been there for Jisung and consequently probably knows everything about the younger. After all Changbin and Jisung have known each other for a long time.

“Been thinking about lots of stuff, been thinking about…” Jisung pauses, closely watches Changbin for a reaction, “…Minho hyung.” But Changbin doesn’t react at all, he keeps laying there. There is no teasing at all, probably because of the serious nightly atmosphere they created but still, Jisung is grateful. It helps him gather his thoughts.

Judging by Changbin’s silence, he’s patiently waiting for Jisung to do that.

Frankly, Jisung doesn’t want to spill too much, like he (kind of accidently) did with Chan and Jeongin back on the ski trip. Also, he might get emotional and start crying again if he starts blabbering it all out – Jisung may be sensitive alright, but it’s healthy to be in tune with your emotions and let yourself feel them! At least he’s _on his way_ to be honest about them and try to understand the confusing swirls inside of him.

Anyways.

What Jisung feels for Minho is something he wants to treasure. He wants to keep those special thoughts reserved only for himself. Well, himself and Minho – once he’s ready to tell Minho, that is. Someday maybe. Jisung thinks that if you have a really good friend, then you should let them know directly sometimes too, just how great you think they are.

So, he decides to tell Changbin a few bits only for now. Casually, “I’ve been thinking about me, Minho hyung, Minho hyung and me. It’s easier than I thought it would be, but it can be bothersome too.” Like when he thinks too much – or not at all apparently – when he’s with Minho in person.

Minho, who’s so oblivious to it all. What goes on inside his head anyway?

“How so?” Changbin asks, still in the same position with his eyes closed. He sounds ready to sleep and Jisung feels a little guilty for keeping him up this late at night when he had only come out of his room for a glass of cold water.

“Well…” Jisung tilts his head, looking around the room, and scratches his cheek with a finger, searching for the right words and being careful not to say too much. “I get some weird thoughts too, or blank out. Sometimes I get a little stupid when I’m alone with Minho hyung… It’s kind of unfair how I’m the only one feeling like this.” It’s nice and easier than expected to tell Changbin a bit about what’s going on. Jisung sighs and leans back on his propped-up arms behind him and turns to look at Changbin, “Minho hyung has probably never felt his way about anyone, right? He really isn’t the type.”

And that’s good, isn’t it? If Minho does end up feeling that way about someone, it better be Jisung and Jisung only – that’s only fair. After all, Jisung feels this way only for Minho too.

Changbin chuckles and opens his eyes to look at Jisung. He raises a brow, “How would you know? Maybe Minho hyung has similar feelings for someone right now, huh?”

“Like whom?” Jisung frowns at the bitter taste out of nowhere in his mouth.

Changbin only gives him a raised brow and a lazy smirk. Suddenly Jisung thinks back to the car scene Changbin and Minho had tonight, and that reminds him of the ski trip scenes as well. For some reason he even imagines the unknown camera man of Minho’s dance video to be Changbin as well.

“For you?!” Jisung’s mouth drops open, eyes narrowing the more he frowns, and he isn’t sure why and where these ugly feelings are suddenly coming from.

Changbin looks mildly surprised, “Me? No.” Then his expression changes to genuine confusion, frowning like that’s the stupidest shit he’s ever heard, “How did you get _that_ idea?”

Jisung almost rolls his eyes but this is still his hyung, so he just settles on frowning and glaring at the blanket in his lap. “You’ve been really close lately, right? Spending so much time alone together… like that…” Jisung scoffs, remembering the fresh memory of the way Minho had his hand fisted in Changbin’s shirt, the way Minho had Changbin pressed against his body, the way Changbin had Minho caged with his arms and pressed against the car.

They looked like they were… having fun.

And maybe they did have the type of fun one is supposed to have in a honeymoon suite with its benefits. Who knows? Damn, Jisung just wants to ban that trail of thought out of his mind. It pisses him off every time.

It also pisses him off that he feels so bitter about it for _no reason_. Feeling the need to do something, Jisung busies himself with adjusting his blanket. It doesn’t need adjustment; he has barely moved since he sat up.

Changbin moves to sit up as well, blinking, still confused, “Dude, I don’t know what you mean but I, for one, am talking about _you_. You’re on Minho hyung’s mind. Minho hyung only has eyes for you.”

“Huh?” Jisung looks up in shock. He feels his cheeks heat up. In an instant anger is replaced by absolute surprise and a unique warmth spreading inside his ribcage. Call it a rollercoaster ride tonight. It feels that fast too. “Minho hyung… he… _me?_ No, what…?”

Changbin gives him a weak smile, “Jisung, seriously?”

“Hey! How would you even know that?” Jisung asks loudly in disbelief, cheeks burning, before he quiets down again, “Did… did he say that?”

“Not explicitly, no.” Changbin gets up from the couch and walks a few steps towards his room until Jisung can only see his broad back and stops there.

Changbin doesn’t look back, only puts his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. “I noticed your chemistry with Minho hyung from the start, by accident really. And then I kept noticing you two, whenever you got lost in your own world. It was fun to tease you guys. At some point… noticing you two together has become noticing Minho hyung. And Minho hyung? He notices you. I guess you don’t see the way he looks at you.”

Mouth agape and speechless, Jisung doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t even know how to process the words.

“I’m dropping you so many obvious hints because I wanna see him happy, and you’re the one that’s special to him. So…”

“You make it sound like–”

“Maybe,” Changbin interrupts him and shrugs, “But I didn’t say anything about that, I’m not like Hyunjin. You got that idea on your own, didn’t you? Doesn’t that mean something?” He sighs, shoulders dropping like a weight has been lifted off them, “Anyways, I said what I said.”

“Oh,” Jisung nods, blinking rapidly, at a loss for words. Staring at the back of Changbin’s head. “You– Yeah. Okay… Hyung, you’re really… you’re really cool.”

Changbin shrugs, takes a step towards his room but stops again like he remembered something.

“Hey Jisung,” Changbin calls quietly. This time he looks over his shoulder and gives Jisung a smile, “Staying awake late into the night thinking about someone… doesn’t that mean something too?”

And Changbin looks so cool. Not waiting to see the repercussions of all the bombs he dropped on Jisung tonight. He just walks away, back into his own room to sleep and closes the door behind him quietly. Leaves Jisung alone to process and blankly stare into the shadows.

And Jisung looks like a fool. Letting his gaze wander around aimlessly, slow to lay down and make himself comfortable again.

(He doesn’t think that much about Minho, does he?)

In the end Jisung just lays there on his back, staring at the ceiling for a while.

(Oh no, Jisung really does think a lot about Minho. Right now, even late into the night. And it’s not his first night doing that either. Be honest.)

To Minho, Jisung might just be special too? He hopes he is.

The weight of Changbin’s words sit on Jisung, who struggles to take care of the imprints they leave on him. The unknown possibilities they could bring if they are true.

Jisung wants to believe it. Somewhere inside, he believes Changbin.

There is a knocking inside of his ribcage, asking for something Jisung isn’t sure what it is nor how to fulfil.

It’s so frustrating. And a little scary.

It’s so relieving. And a little exciting.

A rollercoaster of emotion and time.

How is it possible to feel these things at the same moment? Again, Minho finds Jisung’s thoughts without even having properly left at all. Minho would probably find it funny, so before he knows it, he imagines Minho grin bright, stick his nose high into the air and raise his brows proudly. “Of course, only I can make it possible for you feel this way, Jisung!” the Minho in his mind laughs.

What a stupid image!

(Jisung loves it.)

But Jisung should sleep. He rubs a hand over the growing smile on his face and ruffles his black hair, wonders about the fading silver highlights again. Should he dye his hair a new colour or just leave it natural black and let the lasting silver dye grow out on its own?

Jisung makes himself comfortable again, lays on his side, snuggles into the pillow and brings the blanket properly over his body and up to his chin.

Finally, fatigue catches up with him.

The clothes Jisung wears, the pillow and blanket all smell a little like Minho, although fresh. Lavender. It has the weirdest thoughts swirling inside his head even though it’s a comforting smell. He wonders how Minho would react if Jisung just tells him everything one day. Everything weird he feels for him.

Everything that isn’t love to Jisung.

Will Minho think it’s love too?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#8 P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Lee Minho  
>  **Birthday:** 25\. October, 1998  
>  **Occupation:** Zoology Major (3rd Semester), member and assistant instructor of local dance studio  
>  **Hobbies:** absorbing himself in whatever interests him, teasing others, taking funny selfies  
>  **Other (1) :** has many nicknames he may or may not always be aware about, somehow manages to always find and befriend cats, likes to simplify things if possible, easily finds ways to enjoy himself albeit maybe weirdly
> 
> * * *
> 
> it's a long chapter, yes! this seems to be the best way to construct the story. a lot goes on in this whole chapter. don't forget the things that may or may not seem small either!  
> which reminds me, are you more the type to see the whole picture or are you the type who focuses on certain details? maybe you're somewhere in the middle of the scale? i'm kind of curious. it influences how you perceive things – in life or in a story. 
> 
> oh, mistake a freefall tower for a rollercoaster...? hm. thinking a lot. everyone thinks thinks thinks. ¯\\_ಠ_ಠ_/¯  
> anyway don't let me say too much! things might get busy for me with uni work, so i hope you enjoyed this big chapter! ❀  
> i'd really love to read your thoughts in the comments! ☆


	9. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To Han Jisung, Lee Minho is–

The next morning, a Friday, they all sit in the kitchen for breakfast by 10 o’clock.

Apparently Minho and Changbin had gone to the gym earlier that morning, leaving Chan and Jisung to sleep until now – especially Chan, poor guy needs any sleep he can get. Even Hyunjin came back from Felix’s and Seungmin’s apartment without waking anyone up (not worried like last time because Minho had actually texted him where they went this time). Fortunately, none of them have morning classes. Only Changbin and Hyunjin plan to leave for classes later that afternoon, the others have a lecture free day. So by the time Minho and Changbin had returned, they all woke up.

Chan and Minho cook up something simple. Fried eggs and toasted bread it is. Minho complains the whole time through it but as expected does a great job, so they’re all thankful he does the cooking anyway.

Once everyone sits and eats, they bicker and talk as usual.

“Why aren’t you eating?” Changbin nudges Hyunjin who only stares at his plate.

The younger blows a little on the food and shrugs, “Happy birthday, egg.”

“It’s gonna be cold by the time you actually eat. You don’t need to blow on it, it’s not even hot anymore,” Jisung frowns, confused. As if to make a point, he eats a big forkful. It’s the perfect temperature. And taste.

Minho blinks up from his own plate, staring Hyunjin dead in the eye, “Hyunjin, be honest, do you want me to violently feed you tissues?”

Chan perks up at that. “No violence this early in the morning,” he reprimands half-asleep, still focused on eating rather than the conversation. At last Hyunjin starts eating with a huff and a quiet amused mumble that sounds vaguely like “I liked my joke…”.

Every time Jisung sleeps over, he thinks he could get used to this treatment. Good food and good company. Not that Jeongin isn’t good company – he’s basically Jisung’s #1, you know, if he had to do a ranking – but neither Jeongin nor Jisung can cook and the dormitory isn’t as fun as their best friends’ apartments.

  
After breakfast accompanied by their usual banter, it’s Changbin who has to clean up everything by losing to rock-paper-scissors. Nothing new. Some things never change. They all leave him to it with cheers.

Just as Minho makes to leave the kitchen area as well, Jisung jumps on Minho, throws his arms around his shoulders from behind and grins brightly when he isn’t shoved off. Minho wordlessly drags his body, with the added weight of Jisung’s body, back to his own room.

When they reach the bed, Minho stops. Confused Jisung leans forward to look at him over his shoulder, “Hyung– AHHH!” Minho swiftly turns around and throws himself, and with that Jisung’s body on his back first, on the bed. Jisung’s body is the cushion Minho falls on with his entire weight, half off the bed and half on it.

Minho laughs loud and clear at Jisung’s exaggerated pain. “Hyuuung,” Jisung wheezes out, having to laugh but mostly trying to catch his breath as he lets Minho roll off him to sit up beside him.

Jisung rubs his torso where most of the weight had landed, and sits up, dragging his legs away from the bed’s edge and under him in a criss-cross. “What was that for?” he tries to be serious but lets out a breathy laugh anyway.

“For everything,” Minho gives him a playful smirk and leans back on his propped-up arms behind him.

“Ha, ha,” Jisung robotically laughs, acting annoyed but there’s a smile on his face and his eyes trail down Minho’s body until they reach his spread open thighs, clad in baby blue pyjama pants with cute cartoon cats patterned all over them.

Jisung follows his instincts and puts a hand on Minho’s thigh closest to him and squeezes, “These pyjama pants are _so you_.” Minho’s thighs are strong and hard under his hand, but Jisung thinks the skin there is probably still soft just like on Minho’s hands.

“Probably because they are mine, Hannie,” Minho tells him like it’s obvious, like Jisung is kinda dumb for saying it. Yes, it is obvious but Jisung just wanted to point that out. There’s a warning undertone in Minho’s sickly-sweet voice though. Minho puts his own hand over Jisung’s to pull it away from his thigh and then lets it drop on the mattress, “You’re awfully touchy these days.”

Jisung looks up and raises a playful brow at the comment, “I don’t think so.” He reaches over to grab onto Minho’s thigh again, but Minho blocks him, and it quickly becomes a game for them.

Reach and block. Reach and block…

“You definitely are,” Minho tilts his head, not looking like he’s in much of a mood to play around and regarding Jisung with an assessing look, “ _Something_ feels off lately.”

That makes Jisung pause mid-reach, grin freezing in place. “What do you mean?”

And there’s a bit of worry inside of him. Like maybe Minho has noticed Jisung’s weird behaviour after all; even Jisung can’t deny that ever since he has decided to be more honest and conscious of what the two of them have, he himself has involuntarily changed the more he’s been realising and letting himself do what he actually wants to do. Reaching out more, touching more, saying more and looking more.

But Jisung is still in the slow process of carefully loosening the chains he had put on to reign himself in.

Minho casually counts his points up with his fingers as he lifts a hand from behind him, “You’re just becoming… _more_. Touchier, talkier, clingier. With me. And you’re kind of more sensitive too,” He holds up four fingers, drops them and raises a brow at Jisung, “Not that I want to get too serious here, but it’s been going on for long enough to make even me speak up on it. Since my silence on it just seems to encourage you.”

Jisung stares down at his own lap, playing with a loose string on the loose pyjama pants Minho had given him yesterday; the pyjama pants are Minho’s too but they’re just grey and have no pattern on them. Unlike the pyjama shirt Jisung’s wearing: ‘bun bun bun to sleep!’ said by a bunch of cute grey and white cartoon bunnies. Minho's own t-shirt is a simple white.

Unsure of what to do, Jisung gnaws on his lip. “You don’t want me to?”

Minho makes a questioning noise.

Jisung shrugs, eyes fixed on the loose string that doesn’t budge out any further out the pyjama pants. “You… You don’t want me to be clingy n’ stuff with you?” he clarifies. Jisung doesn’t mean to say it so quietly and surely doesn’t mean to sound so insecure about it either.

All the things he wants from Minho and all the things he wants Minho to want from him; he thinks about telling Minho everything about the intensity of his unrevealed wishes.

A crooked smile forces itself onto Jisung’s face because he’d rather make the whole thing sound like a joke if he could. He can’t properly look at Minho either. Making do with the unfocused bits of Minho in his peripheral vision.

Minho inhales and holds his breath, frowning at Jisung in thought, before he exhales again. Like somewhere in his head he just went ‘screw it’.

“It’s not that I don’t want you to,” Minho carefully and slowly tells him, then slides a hand through his brown unkempt hair and looks away for a moment, “It’s more like–” he vaguely gestures in the air with that same hand and looks at him again, “–I noticed. That’s all. Because it’s hard to ignore. I guess I’m… curious? as to what changed.”

Jisung leaves the loose grey string alone and sighs, letting his hands rest on his lap with nothing to do. He needs a moment before he can think of an answer because as much as he’d like to quickly give a simple explanation, there just doesn’t seem to be one.

Nothing’s changed.

Not really.

Of course, Jisung’s hesitance doesn’t go unnoticed by Minho.

Therefore, Minho talks again instead, giving Jisung the time he needs to think more. That’s how well he knows Jisung.

“You know, whenever someone speaks about us… you and me…” Minho says and searches around, not only for words but a pillow before he spots what he’s looked for. Jisung watches him but keeps his eyes away from his face in fear of meeting his eyes and showing Minho too much by his eyes alone. Who knows how far he can see inside of Jisung?

Minho grabs a pillow to hug in his lap.

To Jisung, he looks smaller now.

“How do I say this?” Minho wonders out loud, eyes wandering around his room, “We always joke and play around. Yes.” Minho nods to himself like he approves of his own wording, before he continues. A casual and curious tone. And this time Jisung looks at his face to catch everything he says and consequently shows. “And when someone’s words about you and me together bother you too much, then… well. Usually you distance yourself from me for a while. There are times when you seem easily annoyed by me and avoid me. I don’t mind much anymore because I respect your boundaries. So don’t worry about that now,” Minho meets his eyes for a second, making sure Jisung understands that there really is nothing to worry about, then looks away again, down on the mattress and the little space between them.

Minho knows Jisung well; Jisung was just about to apologise for that – he didn’t think Minho would have ever noticed that. Or maybe Jisung just didn’t want to believe he would. _But that ‘anymore’ means it bothered you once, doesn’t it?_ Jisung guiltily keeps that thought to himself for now.

Their knees could be touching if either of them slid just a little closer.

Pursing his lips, Minho lets his eyes travel over the bedsheets. “You know now, if you ask for space, I’ll give it to you.” Then he softly mumbles, “You always come back to me anyway.”

In his mind Jisung agrees. Keeping away from Minho forever – it is just not something Jisung could do.

“And when– uhm, when that phase of yours ends, there’s a short phase where you are suddenly uh… passionate about me, I guess? That’s when _I_ have to keep _you_ at arm-length. To make sure you don’t overstep any boundaries. And then things usually go back to normal and we’re chill with each other again. As in, we don’t pay attention to any lines because we naturally don’t cross them. I think… I mean not that we’re not always chill with each other… but you get what I mean, right? We usually keep each other in check without making a big deal. Anyways… It’s like an endless cycle.”

That sounds about right. Although Jisung doesn’t like the parts where they keep each other in lane – do they even keep each other in lane if they keep overstepping enough for one of them to get distant? – it’s something stupid that _just happens_.

Now that Minho has said it out loud for the first time, Jisung wants to ask just _why_ they both feel the need to keep each other from crossing lines. If they both find themselves wanting to cross the lines so badly that they have to stop each other, then why shouldn’t they just cross them and do what they actually want to do? What are those lines supposed to be anyway? And what’s beyond the lines?

It’s a lot for today though. And maybe Minho is as clueless as Jisung.

Speaking – well, listening to Minho speak – so openly about it is refreshing and strangely intimate; Jisung feels a little exposed but also _seen_. In a good way. Parts of their dynamic laid out in front of them.

Then Minho clears his throat and raises his voice back to normal again, back to looking around the room, “This time something is different. You did distance yourself when you and Hyunjin had that little argument about me in front of everyone at our MG event. That was normal – well, okay, not really because I didn’t know you guys fought about, uh, that topic so seriously and… hey, I was seriously uncomfortable by the way, don’t do that again.” Minho warns him with a straight face and hits Jisung’s shoulder lightly. He makes it sound light but Jisung knows he means it.

“I’ll take care not to. Sorry, hyung.” Jisung gives him an apologetic smile that slowly drops as Minho continues.

“Well, you know what happened after that. Irony at its finest. It was the first time you told, uhm, texted me to back off… Clearly, I must’ve been a bother to you. I owe you an apology for that too, sorry,” Minho says, clasping his hands together on his pillow and lips in a thin line. Minho isn’t the type to do these types of speeches at all. This whole conversation is nothing like them.

And _yes_ , Jisung knows, remembers with undying regret, and wants to reach out and make it all up to Minho if he can. Because Minho has nothing to apologise for. Jisung shakes his head about to tell him that but Minho shakes his head at him with a knowing look.

Dejected, Jisung shuts his mouth.

“I won’t give you a recap of whatever those two weeks after were and neither the next argument on the ski trip you had with Hyunjin about me. Now we’re here. I guess in a way it is part of that endless cycle between us. With you growing increasingly – sorry for using your word again – _clingy_. But something feels very different from all the times before.”

Jisung cringes at that. Again, he quietly asks Minho, “You don’t want me to? You don’t like it?”

Minho shakes his head, confidently meeting his eyes now, his ever so stoic self, “I told you already. It’s not that I don’t want you to or that I dislike it. I just don’t understand what changed. It’s getting hard to ignore so straight up asking seemed like a good idea. What changed?”

“Somehow… Everything? Nothing? I don’t know.”

They stare at each other in silence.

Minho blinks multiple times.

Then, “As expected you’re useless.”

“Hey, I’m trying my best here!” Jisung yells offended at both the comment and Minho’s weird way to break the tension. Trying to keep his smile down, Jisung grabs a pillow and smacks Minho upside the head. Minho isn’t really phased, his hair is just mussed up more and he falls into a high-pitched laughing fit, holding his fists up to protect himself when Jisung takes another swing.

Minho screams between his laughs but doesn’t pick up his own pillow to fight back, completely on defense for once, “Ahh!–Hahaha–Ahhh!”

Each pillow smack for a word, “How. Dare. You. Say. That!” But Jisung of course laughs with him. It’s not even that funny, but because they’re together it is. Minho falls backwards on the bed, his own pillow falling to the side and he keeps his face protected by his arms, still giggling even after Jisung stops hitting him with the pillow.

Jisung moves to hover over him from the side and takes his wrists into each of his hands to move them away from his face. When he does, their eyes meet.

Minho is still lightly chuckling, crinkles by the sides of his eyes; he looks flushed and messy from laughing and getting hit by the pillow. The sun rays from the window perfectly shine on his features.

In Jisung’s eyes, Minho glows.

A breathtaking sight.

Jisung feels a little winded.

“What?” Minho gets all up in his face with a laugh, teasing and raising his neck and shoulders but not sitting all the way up, “What, huh? What are you looking at?” Ultimately, he stays put in his laid down position, just looking up at him as his head drops back on the bedsheets again.

Jisung lets out a soft breathy laugh in response, “Just let me look.”

Minho does a double take at his words and raises his brows. Laughter replaced by a barely contained but very surprised grin. “Now I _really_ don’t want to let you,” he says, mischievous. Quickly, he slips his wrists out of Jisung’s grasp and rolls his body to lay on his stomach. His face turned the other way too, cheek resting on his crossed arms.

“Minho hyung,” Jisung calls, that stupid smile on his face just won’t drop, putting a hand on his back and shaking him.

Minho sighs, tone light with a hint of a laugh, “Just go bother someone else for today, Jisungie.”

“Why?” Jisung whines immediately, with just a hint of strategic cuteness, “Minho hyung, you don’t want to spend time with me?”

“Exactly.”

Jisung pauses.

With his hand on Minho’s back travelling up and down, petting him like an overgrown cat, Jisung’s eyes follow the movement.

“But I want to spend time with you,” Jisung says, maybe a little too serious for their playful banter.

“Oh really?”

“And you want to spend time with me,” Jisung adds quietly, “Don’t lie.”

He eyes the way Minho’s white pyjama shirt rides up and down his back with the movement of his hand, but he stops when it wanders up enough for a sliver of skin to show. It was not intentional, but Jisung puts his hand on the spot. For a moment Minho stiffens and it doesn’t seem like he will respond to Jisung.

Minho’s skin is warm under his light touch.

Only gently rubbing his thumb across Minho’s exposed skin on the back of his waist, Jisung keeps his hand there like that. He’s curious; does Minho feel the same flutter in his chest like Jisung does at their touch?

Eventually Minho relaxes again.

And having Minho relax under his touch exhilarates Jisung in a way he can’t describe. It’s a way that is reserved only for Minho, too.

Maybe Jisung should straight up ask his own bit since Minho was upfront with him too.

His mind made up, Jisung takes his hand away and lays down sideways next to Minho. He’s not able to see his face from here. The pillow from before now under his head, Jisung makes himself comfortable just close enough that their bodies don’t touch.

But he still moves a hand back to the exposed skin on Minho’s back. Even feels bold enough to put his hand further and under his shirt completely on the small of Minho’s back.

As expected, Minho’s skin is soft and warm there too.

“How do you feel about me?” Jisung whispers into the quiet comfortable space between them.

Minho barely takes a second to softly reply, “How do you want me to feel about you?”

“Any way you want, hyung,” Jisung tells him honestly, quietly even though it’s just the two of them here and gently starts rubbing Minho’s skin under his shirt again, “But I asked you first, you know.”

Minho hums just as quietly.

“So?”

“What?”

“How do you feel about me, Minho hyung?”

There’s another pause.

Minho sighs, like it’s bothersome to say it and honestly, to him it probably really is. He must sense that Jisung needs a serious answer. He keeps it simple. “You’re important to me.”

“That doesn’t really answer my question though,” Jisung immediately responds and a smile grows on his face as he speaks softly but with confidence, “I already know I’m important to you. But how do I make you feel?”

“Like right now?”

“Yeah, now. Whenever. Always.”

Minho hums a little tune, thinking. It’s a familiar song but Jisung doesn’t remember it well enough to know the title.

When he stops humming, he still doesn’t reply.

Jisung is just about to say something, maybe apologise for asking stupid things or hurry his friend along to answer, when Minho turns around to lay on his side too and they meet eyes. Jisung’s breath hitches.

But he hasn’t let his hand slip away, instead it lays on the side of Minho’s waist now, but this time his shirt forms a barricade between their skin again. Jisung feels something bubble up inside of him but it’s not something that makes him want to hold back.

“We probably feel more or less the same thing,” Minho says, eyes Jisung’s pillow and reaches behind him to get one for under his own head too. He adjusts once it’s under his head and meets Jisung’s eyes again. Blinking twice before he speaks, “Comfortable…? That’s a safe word, right? That’s how I feel with you. I like it like that.”

Briefly Jisung lets his eyes flicker across Minho’s face to assess him. _More or Less._ That’s a good answer but somehow Jisung feels a little disappointed.

“If you’re jutting your lips out like that, I assume we don’t feel the same way after all,” Minho quietly observes. The corners of his lips quirk up in a small amused smile.

Oh. Jisung didn’t even notice himself pouting. “No, no. I feel comfortable with you too. It’s just… don’t you feel the same way with the rest of our friends too?” Jisung tries his best to elaborate on his question, “I mean, I was just… I kind of hoped you’d feel a little more? Something special only for me?”

Minho’s eyes widen a fraction and his blinking habit makes itself prominent again.

Jisung thinks Minho understands him even though Jisung doesn’t quite understand himself.

Under the late morning sun from the window Minho’s skin still glows a little pale golden. The light seems to make his ears look red and pronounces the handsome contours of his face. Up close the mole on the side of the tip of his nose is easily spotted. His lips are rosy and his eyes a deep brown. Jisung can’t help but notice how pretty and long Minho’s eyelashes are, fluttering.

Minho is so beautiful. Jisung could look at him all day without ever getting bored, especially if he has Minho looking at him too. Although that might be a sentiment not caused by Minho’s physical beauty, but rather, by Minho himself.

Because it’s Minho, this Lee Minho, Jisung would enjoy admiring the sight all day.

But suddenly Minho’s eyes – always so expressive even when the rest of him doesn’t seem to be – dull a little and his pretty face turns to resting stone. “Ahh,” he drawls coldly, rolling his eyes, “Is this about the whole love thing again?”

It’s Jisung’s turn to look surprised and a little embarrassed maybe, judging by the heat filling his cheeks almost instantly at the word. Somehow there is a bit of fear, he hopes it doesn’t show on his face. Minho seems annoyed.

 _The whole love thing._ Maybe it is about the whole love thing.

No, not quite. (Would it be bad if it were?)

Jisung just wants to know how Minho feels so he wanted to be straight forward about it, just like Minho. Well, as best as he can. He simply wants to know from Minho himself how special he is to Minho; If Jisung is as special to Minho as Minho is to Jisung. It’s only fair.

It’s not about the whole love thing, is it?

“Look. I’m pretty sure I got the message that you don’t have those types of feelings for me,” Minho turns to lay on his back with an annoyed grunt and stares at the ceiling, “Just leave it alone already, Jisung.”

With Minho’s tone growing colder and colder, Jisung feels the air around them do the same.

But Jisung stubbornly keeps his hand on the other, now flat on Minho’s stomach. This distance between them can’t keep coming back, can’t keep growing. Neither of them like the recurring distance between them, Jisung is sure of it. They should put a stop to that weird cycle right here and now.

Be close without having to draw lines.

Despite his determination he still shivers a little. He thinks touching Minho helps, even if it’s only a small touch like this.

Maybe this is the perfect moment. The topic is already up. Nothing stings the way Minho’s coldness does, so while Jisung doesn’t want to offer the whole love thing, he wants to offer all his thoughts to be laid out – maybe understanding will melt Minho’s ice again.

Tell Minho, just like he’d told all their friends and especially Hyunjin time and time again: Jisung doesn’t love Minho, not like _that_ – could never, would never – just wants to confirm it and tell Minho he’s only a friend who happens to be a little more special than other friends. He can tell Minho how important he is to Jisung. He doesn’t want to hurt or annoy Minho any further than he’s already unintentionally done. Clarification should clear it up once and for all. Then Jisung will never have to argue with anyone again, doesn’t have to get distant from Minho again, doesn’t have to be confused again. Right? And Minho will know that they have something special that isn’t love. Because it’s not about the whole love thing.

It’s simple enough to say to a friend.

And yet Jisung is unable to find his voice to do so.

(This wasn’t even the point of the conversation, was it?)

(In truth that may not be what Jisung wants at all.)

Maybe Jisung wants to let Minho know about all the other things instead, the endless list of things that make Minho so special to Jisung. Aren’t those more important? Things like, how he isn’t in love, no, but he wants to be special to Minho too. There’s so much Jisung should tell Minho; the things he wants and longs for from the other, the things he wants _Minho_ to want from _him_. How, above all, he wants Minho to be happy and comfortable – preferably with Jisung by his side. Maybe Minho will tell Jisung about his thoughts too then.

Maybe they’ll never have to draw lines again.

How would Minho react? Jisung can start small, take it step by step, tell it part for part, every day a bit more. His whole heart doesn’t need to be poured out immediately. If Jisung takes it slow, he can savour each of Minho’s reactions.

Where should Jisung start? What should he say?

The words don’t want to leave his mouth.

Once or twice Minho and the others had teased Jisung that he often gets shy around Minho in the mornings. If it were one of those mornings, it’d be an uncomplicated explanation. Although he feels way too nervous to chalk it up to simple shyness. Everything was fine just a moment ago, no?

Why the hell can’t he muster up the courage to _just talk?_

A cold hand lays atop his – Jisung hasn’t even noticed when his hand on Minho’s stomach curled into a fist, tightly holding onto the fabric of Minho’s shirt. Jisung looks down at their hands – Minho’s hand is softer, just a little smaller than his and always colder too – familiar. The touch comforts Jisung a little. And Jisung’s hand warms Minho’s on top of it.

“Hey, why are you like this?” Minho asks and all the ice in his voice is gone, replaced by care and tenderness, just like his touch. Jisung has melted the ice somehow without any of his words ever leaving his mouth, yet he feels tired as if he’s said all his thoughts aloud.

He didn’t, but he wishes otherwise.

Minho moves to sit up. Jisung panics or something because suddenly he has just enough energy to circle his arms around Minho’s waist properly and press himself against his side. Jisung doesn’t know what’s going on inside of him right now either.

Minho lets him, but he’s visibly confused and still worried. “Jisung… What’s up, are you okay?”

Jisung nods into the pillow, nose grazing Minho’s shoulder.

“Doesn’t look like it though,” Minho makes to move up again, “At least let me get some water for you.”

Just to keep him here, Jisung presses closer, puts half of his body and a leg over Minho’s and his head on his chest. Maybe it’s childish, but it’s worth it if he can just keep Minho here with him. He just doesn’t feel like letting go.

Like this he can hear Minho’s heartbeat; it sounds a little faster than healthy. Ah, he shouldn’t worry Minho like this. Even so, the dull but strangely warm sound still relaxes Jisung the tiniest bit. Something inside tells him to keep holding on.

“I’m okay,” Jisung breathes out quietly, “Just stay with me, Minho hyung.”

He hears and feels Minho sigh, reluctantly giving up. The body underneath Jisung relaxes again and so does the heartbeat he listens to.

Minho wiggles his arm from between them to gently embrace Jisung too. “I don’t know why you’re suddenly like this,” Minho says, “But I’ll always stay with you if you want me to, Jisung.”

Jisung leans his head up to look at him, searching deep inside his eyes – for what, Jisung doesn’t know. There’s something different between them that Jisung can’t quite grasp. “Minho,” Jisung whispers carefully, dropping the honorifics with meaning rather than disrespect this once. Like anything more could make Minho leave even though he just told Jisung he’d stay. As always Minho understands because he doesn’t reprimand him for it, just glances at his lips for the words and then attentively looks into Jisung’s eyes.

And Jisung wants to say more, he doesn’t know what, doesn’t know where to start. Is Minho’s name enough for now?

Tears prick Jisung’s eyes, but he refuses to cry. He simply says what his body wants him to say even when his voice cracks half-way through, “Minho hyung…”

The hand around him moves to his head, gentle fingers carding through the dark strands in comfort. Jisung lays his head back down on Minho’s chest, listening to every beat his heart makes. Minho hums to let him know he’s right here, just like he’s been ever since they met. These two – Minho and Jisung – they know so much about each other but neither knows what’s going on lately.

(Lately? When did this unspoken something start and grow?)

Although this moment feels intimate in new depths they haven’t explored yet before.

What the hell would Jisung even cry for?

For how safe he feels in Minho’s presence? How warm and comforted he feels in Minho’s embrace? Or maybe for the way he really doesn’t want to keep this mess up, out of fear of losing Minho and this special precious bond they share? Maybe he should cry for the sting he feels when it looks like Minho has something special with somebody else? Or the way he wants to be the only one Minho shares this type of bond with? The way he only wants to share this bond with this one Lee Minho and nobody else?

Maybe for the way Jisung thinks they’re made for each other?

Or maybe, for how often he has tried so hard – maybe too hard – to ignore the longing flutter in his chest whenever they are a little too close, lock eyes for a little too long and exchange words and actions a little too tender? The gentle and kind flutter of butterflies in his chest that comes and goes. And if it goes it leaves behind the feeling of home. Because Minho is home, and Minho is fun too. Minho is both excitement and comfort. Minho, who Jisung knows so well and yet seems to not know at all.

Lee Minho is an intimate adventure, so beautiful to explore.

To Han Jisung, Lee Minho is–

There’s a sunny day waiting outside despite the cold temperatures in this time of the year. The sun rays shine upon them on the unmade bed. Here Jisung is in the arms of Minho, one of his closest friends, the one he keeps calling his soulmate.

Minho – ever so quiet and grounding – doesn’t have to dry Jisung’s tears because Jisung is not crying. Instead he’s strangely calm, head in the clouds and taking Minho with him; wishing for this moment to never end. He presses so much closer just to be close to Minho. As close as he can. Jisung realises he likes listening to Minho’s heartbeat as much as he likes listening to Minho’s voice.

It has become exhausting to keep denying himself; maybe it’s always been.

It’s a feeling that has grown too strong and too overwhelming to force down anymore.

Today is the day Jisung realises it. Something true he has been denying for so long. He feels the walls around his heart crumble with every breath Minho takes underneath him. It takes nothing big to take the walls down but the many small things that have piled up. It’s ordinary, yet more so significant.

It takes Minho. Minho opening up to him; in turn, unknowingly, accidently, gently, prying open Jisung’s heart.

There’s acceptance, there’s relief but there is also fear of changing everything – but maybe everything is already changing anyway. Or maybe nothing really is or will. Which one is it?

Jisung can lie to everyone. He can even lie to himself. But not with Minho right here. Alone with him. Alone together. Minho’s soul forces his to be honest just like that.

To Han Jisung, Lee Minho is _love_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#3.9. P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Han Jisung  
>  **Occupation:** Music Production Major (2nd Semester)  
>  **Other (2) :** his favourite reptile is the leopard gecko, likes romantic things and pda, home-schooled after middle school, his ego is biggest when he is with his best friends, has recently promised himself to be more honest and figure things out
> 
> * * *
> 
> first of all, these days have been very stressful for stays but also women in general. i hope everyone's doing alright. i don't want to go into detail at all, so: I'm forever OT8 ♥ ! I have no tolerance for terrible human beings. i've always had a bad feeling. i hope the victims get the justice they deserve. like i said, i won't go into detail but wanted to let you know where I stand first and foremost. stay safe! 
> 
> on a lighter note, because we all deserve to have a few good things in life too, the skz comeback is soon! and jisung's, felix's bday! and later seungmin's bday! i'm very excited. and fitting that excitement, our wild card jisung here has finally ✨Realised A Thing✨...  
> i'd love to hear what you think about the chapter in the comments. it's very motivating! ☆


	10. Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bun bun bun!

The door to Minho’s room is left open by a crack.

Open doors, in their humble roommate agreement, mean that one does not mind intruders at the time.

Or wants to air his room out by letting the open window and door create a breeze. It depends. You’ll know by the time you step foot in the open doorway.

Chan has just gotten off a call with Felix. They plan to go to the local gaming arcade for a few hours to hang out and play games. They all need a break sometimes. Naturally, he wants to ask whether Minho and Jisung want to join them since Changbin, Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jeongin all have classes sometime today or other plans.

So, Chan opens the door to Minho’s room further to walk in and announce his invitation.

“Hey guys, do you… Oh. Uh. Nevermind… I’ll…” And backtracks just as quickly at the sight that greets him. Minho’s death glare is enough to stop Chan from talking. It makes him turn right back around. If looks could kill Chan would be dead meat by now.

But curiously, Chan stops in the doorway and looks back at the unusual sight. A quiet Jisung koala-cuddling Minho on the bed. He even sniffles once.

Minho doesn’t stop his deadly glare on Chan though, moving his hand carefully in small shooing motions without Jisung noticing. No, the gentle hold Minho has on Jisung in return to the koala-embrace does not deter from how intensely intimidating Minho can be.

With one last look, mildly confused and worried about the weird atmosphere, Chan does them a favour by closing the door behind him. He leans his back against it and wonders what’s happened in the little time after breakfast and now.

What’s going on?

Is it…? No, probably not. Or maybe…?

No, no.

Yes? No.

Hmm.

Suddenly the door on the left swings open with a whoosh. Hyunjin comes out of his room, dressed in a loose white button-up, black skinny jeans and his backpack ready. He’s still fussing over his appearance and going through his freshly styled hair.

Hyunjin stops in the doorway as soon as he spots Chan and his hands drop to his sides in one motion.

The younger one clears his throat to appear as casual as possible, leans on the doorframe and crosses his arms, curiously raising a brow at Chan. “Oh.” Hyunjin casually (not at all) says, “Are they done yet? Did you find out what happened?”

“No and no. When did you…?”

Hyunjin shrugs, lips pursed, pointing with his thumb behind him, “I wanted to pack sandwiches for Seungmin and me before I leave for campus. I even have cute dosirak boxes to put them in and– Uhm! Anyway,” Then points with his forefinger towards Minho’s room, “Saw them all cosy and sentimental when I was walking by. I didn’t go in there though; I quickly went back to minding my own business before either of them noticed me. Like, I can take Jisung on. But you know Minho hyung.” Hyunjin chuckles sweetly, maybe even exaggeratedly.

“Yeah,” Chan smiles awkwardly and rubs his neck. He won’t question Hyunjin on his forced casualness. Why would he question something he already knows the reasons for? Not that Hyunjin knows that Chan knows, but that’s not his problem. “Just got shooed out by Minho’s deadly glare. I’m a little worried though…”

Hyunjin gives him an understanding smile that somehow tells Chan they’re _not_ on the same page, “It’s okay, Channie hyung. He can’t jump us when he’s busy and Jisung will keep him busy plenty by the sight of it. Also, I’m sure Minho hyung will take good care of Jisung and cheer him up properly, so let’s not worry too much. You just be careful next time.”

“Yeah, I know I–” Wait. That is something that Chan is definitely going to question. “What. What do you mean ‘jump us’?”

“Oh, _oh_ , Chan hyung…” Hyunjin tuts in a patronising manner, like he’s a forty-something trophy wife who heard a child ask something innocent yet too stupid for an actual answer. He moves out his room’s doorway to put a hand on Chan’s shoulder, that same ‘understanding’ smile on his face, “It’s going to be okay. I’ll be going now. Seungmin is probably waiting for me already. Okay? See you later!”

Left alone and clueless, Chan blinks.

Alright then. Chan will find out some other day.

“Why are you standing here like a weirdo?” Ah, there is the next one coming out of his cave.

“Binnie, I live here too. I can stand wherever I want, it’s not weird.”

“Are you eavesdropping on Minho hyung? Why? What’s he doing?” After closing the door to his own room behind him, Changbin playfully trots over and crosses his arms as he leans forward curiously.

“No, I’m not. You know what? I’m going to the arcade with Felix now, so Minho and Jisung can have their alone time. I don’t care! I will have fun,” Chan holds his fists up in determination and finally goes towards his own room to get ready for his hangout.

“What are they doing?” Changbin asks, his voice sounds neutral, but something is off in the tone. Before Chan can think more about it, Changbin clears his throat and turns to him again, “Everything okay?”

The younger has always had a bit of intuition when it comes to everyone else’s feelings, especially their friends. He likes it best when people are comfortable around him and for that he needs to be good at reading the room. Changbin has always been the type you can count on. Someone who worries about doing the right thing a lot and does his best to be a good friend. Following that intuition comes great care. “Probably,” Chan tells him with a shrug, smile reassuring, “I think they had a heart-to-heart.”

Slow nods. Changbin hums, looking at the closed door of Minho’s room. “That’s good then,” he says. There’s a small almost-proud smile on his face.

With that Chan and Changbin go their separate ways. Changbin goes into the living room, probably to play videogames, as his classes start in the afternoon and it’s still too early to leave the house, while Chan finally goes to get ready to meet up with Felix.

When Chan leaves his room only about 15 minutes later with the sole plan to meet up with Felix, he doesn’t expect to see Jisung sitting alone in the living room with the blankest expression he has ever seen on him. Although expressionless, traces of his earlier session are still evident on his face by sleep wrinkles or well, imprints? Probably because he kept his cheek pressed against Minho’s chest long enough for Minho’s shirt wrinkles to leave a mark on his cheek. His black hair is still messy. In the disarray his fading silver highlights are barely visible.

Lastly, he’s still dressed in Minho’s borrowed sleep wear which may take a little away from the possible seriousness of the situation. What with the cute cartoon bunnies and swirly font for the words ‘bun bun bun to sleep!’ on the pyjama shirt, the grey pyjama pants and the bright pink-white-striped socks (the socks are Jisung’s own, if Chan remembers correctly and Seungmin also has a pair of those).

The TV is on. On display is a videogame set on pause and on the couch, next to Jisung is a lonely controller. At least the blanket and pillow Jisung used last night are neatly folded on the corner of the couch. Less clean up, although that part often falls on Chan’s and Minho’s shoulders unless they force the other two roommates to help out.

Chan carefully steps towards Jisung, unconsciously cringing in confusion.

From the open space of their joined living room and kitchen, it’s a clear view to their personal room doors, except Chan’s, which is in the far right corner. In the order of Hyunjin’s door on the far left, then Minho’s door, then Changbin’s and then Chan’s on the far right. Minho’s door is closed and so is Hyunjin’s.

Guess Hyunjin was wrong when he said that Minho would take care of Jisung and that Jisung would keep him busy…?

The distant sound of the toilet flush.

The bathroom door – near the apartment door Chan should’ve left through already – opens and Changbin blinks at Chan as he comes out. With Chan narrowing his eyes in thought, Changbin stops beside him, quickly looks down on himself and checks everywhere.

Then, just as confused as Chan, “Hyung, what are you looking at? Do I have toilet paper hanging off me or something?”

Chan doesn’t say anything. With a sigh, he silently nods towards Jisung. The poor boy still hasn’t moved at all, staring straight ahead at nothing. Kind of like a zombie, haha… but that’s an insensible thing to say right now.

“Oh, I asked but he hasn’t told me anything. He just sat down and stared into nothing, exactly like that,” Changbin shrugs, taking his seat on the couch and the controller into his hands to resume his game. Before he does so, he looks Jisung over one last time and gives Chan another clueless shrug. Jisung doesn’t react to his seatmate.

Chan frowns. But he’s really gotta go. “Where’s Minho?”

Jisung blinks rapidly for a short moment and visibly swallows but does not react otherwise nor answer. Alright… Chan narrows his eyes at the suspicious behaviour.

“In his room? Jisung came out alone,” Changbin answers him without taking his eyes off the videogame in front of him, rapidly pressing buttons to smash a combo.

Before Chan can ask why the hell – Minho is literally their secret weapon for _any_ of Jisung’s moods – the man himself strides out of his room.

On the couch, Jisung stiffens.

With all the ease in the world and a hand in his pants’ pocket, Minho crosses the living room space to reach the fridge. Black sweatpants, black padded jacket, baseball cap backwards on and his gym bag slung over; looks like he’ll leave for the dance studio soon.

Chan stares long enough for Minho to pause when he turns back around with a can of cola zero in his hand. Blinking a few times and instantly knowing why, Minho turns his head to Jisung’s slouched figure on the couch. It doesn’t take long before he understands.

With a half-smile, Minho walks over and squats down in front of Jisung who blinks out of his stupor, eyes round, and straightens up in surprise when their eyes unavoidably meet.

Minho holds the eye contact, looking up from his position, and makes sure Jisung meets his eyes even when he tries to look away multiple times. They don’t exchange anything beyond eye contact though. Jisung looks lost and nervous, cheeks reddening the longer Minho patiently and softly smiles at him.

In all honesty Chan is confused as to what’s happening. Even Changbin paused his game again to watch back and forth how the two silently communicate… or whatever it is that they are (not?) doing. Kind of weird to be honest but who’s Chan to judge that.

Yet again, Minho and Jisung are in their own world.

And then Minho nods, giving Jisung a satisfied grin.

“Pick me up later from the dance studio and we’ll go for some cheesecake together, how does that sound? I’ll pay,” Minho offers and tilts his head at the younger, blinking up through his lashes. For extra efficiency he quirks up an eyebrow.

Chan and Changbin exchange another look. They both spot the heavy swallow Jisung does before he nods his head once in reply, tilts his head away to the side and averts his eyes to the floor as he wrings his hands together.

This time Minho doesn’t make him look up. Having accomplished whatever he was doing, he gives Jisung’s shoulder a squeeze and stands up.

Stilling, he looks at the cold drink in his hands before the decision is visible in his eyes. He smirks and puts the cold can against Jisung’s cheek. Jisung flinches back from the sudden coldness but quickly recovers and silently takes the offered can with both of his hands anyway, still avoiding any eye contact.

Then Minho looks at Chan who’s already questioningly looking at him. Minho’s smile turns thin-lipped and he shrugs. “I don’t know either,” Minho vaguely breathes out before he turns to Changbin as well, “Changbin, I’ll leave him in your care for now.”

Even though Chan was supposed to leave a while ago, Minho is the one putting on shoes and leaving the apartment before him. The door clicks shut and Changbin hesitatingly turns back to play his game.

The oldest sighs. “I’m unsure whether I have to scold Minho or not… but I really have to go now. I might even come back in a few minutes, depending on how much I’ll overthink this. Either way, we will talk about this later. Jisung, if something’s up talk to Changbin, okay? Or call one of us.” Knowing Jisung won’t answer, Chan doesn’t expect anything more to happen now.

Finally, Chan moves towards the front door. Felix has been waiting long enough, he’s probably downstairs already. With a sigh, Chan puts his shoes on and kneels down to tie his laces.

“Fuck!”

Shocked at the growled outburst, Chan startles enough to lose his balance and land on his butt with a grunt. Changbin pauses his game yet again, slightly put off by the many times he’s had to do it now. Both of them turn to Jisung with a confused (and mildly miffed) look. Jisung has his head in his hands, roughly ruffling his already messy hair, faint silver highlights in the black strands stuck in all directions.

The expression Jisung’s wears when he looks up and they can see his face properly worries both of them. It’s pure frustration.

“I am… I’m _…_ _Fuck!_ This is so fucking annoying!” Jisung curses, head in his hands, startling his two friends again.

A moment later, he deflates.

In a soft helpless voice, he continues, gaze now on his open hands laying in his lap, “It would be unfair to tell you, when I can’t even tell _him_.”

Very bewildered and unsure of what to do, Chan and Changbin exchange eye contact, silently communicating.

Another second later animation comes back into Jisung’s body.

He takes a deep breath.

“Don’t worry, you two, I’ll be fine,” Jisung grumbles, glaring at nothing in particular. If looks could kill, he’d put the whole apartment into flames; Chan’s glad they’re not the object of his anger, but he also wonders why Jisung hasn’t been looking any of them in the eye. They’d like to help their younger friend somehow.

Chan is still on the floor. Frankly, he doesn’t want to make any wrong moves and accidently aggravate the youngest here more. At breakfast Jisung had seemed content enough, and then Chan had seen him sniffling in Minho’s arms and now Jisung is huffing and puffing. What an emotional rollercoaster. What could be the cause of this behaviour?

Another suspecting glance is exchanged between Changbin and Chan.

With a preparing inhale, Changbin carefully reaches out to Jisung, an awkward smile on his face but trying his best, “Jisung–”

“ _Fuck_ this shit!” Jisung stands up and in a flash storms to the apartment door where he stops to drop into a crouch to put on his shoes. Right next to Chan without acknowledging him. All the while cursing under his breath.

 _Woah_ , Chan mouths silently at Changbin.

Changbin nods, wide eyed.

This is Retro Han Jisung. Retro Han ‘Always Ready To Start A Fight’ Jisung. Or at least the anger level reminds of Retro Han Jisung. Hopefully this Retro Jisung will not start any fights but keep to only cursing and angrily simmer instead. (Hyunjin and Seungmin should probably steer clear.) They haven’t had a case of Retro Jisung since they were teenagers. In any other context they would probably find it funny even.

“Sorry guys, I’m going back to the fucking dorms now.” In a flash Jisung is out the door. Surprisingly, he shuts the apartment door behind him in a calm manner.

Well, that’s… interesting.

“Does he know what he looks like? The dorms are like an hour away on foot.”

“Oh no, _Jisung_.”

“Isn’t Felix waiting for you?”

“Oh no, _Felix!_ ”

Yes, Felix. Felix who has been impatiently expecting Chan for way too long now to be honest.

Instead of Chan, Felix sees Jisung sprinting out the apartment building, stop outside the building’s entrance to catch his breath and then continue the sprint down the streets in the direction of the dorms. Jisung – hard to miss clad in pyjamas – did not notice Felix standing by the side of the apartment building and frankly, Felix is glad not to be involved in whatever caused that; he’s never seen Jisung voluntarily run like that in his entire life.

Blinking, Felix gives the back of Jisung’s sprinting figure a little wave. “Bun bun bun back home, little one.”

* * *

Frankly, Jisung feels like he has aged about 10 years ever since he’s realised just how deep his feelings run for Minho.

Now it’s 16 o’clock – the very same day still! – and Jisung is waiting outside the dance studio just like Minho had asked him to just a few hours ago. At the bottom of the stairs, Jisung stands and feels like a randomised Sims-character. With his fluffy jacket – the oversized black and white one Felix had gifted him a year ago – plus hoodie and skinny jeans thrown on in a rush. But _why_ is Jisung here? _Why_ did he even agree to this? Sure, he had changed clothes after realising he had really run all the way through public back to the dorms in Minho’s bunny pyjamas – ‘bun bun bun to sleep’ _will_ haunt him in his sleep – Jisung may have looked drunk or something, but Jisung is not suddenly a changed man just because of this.

All in all, he’s a coward who has a hard time coming to terms with such a huge revelation. Just thinking about how long he must have unknowingly felt this way for Minho gives Jisung both a headache and a whole lot of heartache.

But is it even a revelation or did Jisung know this all along somewhere deep down inside his ribcage? One way or another it’ll be hard to act normal in front of Minho. Shit, Minho. Minho will look right through him if he’s not careful, won’t he? It’ll be bad. Everything will change and go to shit and Jisung will end up alone and then–

Arms wrap around his middle from behind, a familiar body presses against his back and there’s someone’s warm breath right beside his ear. Jisung’s own breath hitches as his heart starts dancing along to an exciting melody. “Hello Hannie,” Minho sounds a little out of breath, tone a calm kind of happy, “Honestly, I was worried you wouldn’t come.”

Jisung swallows dry. He tries not to let his body stiffen up but even he can admit that his movements probably make him look like a malfunctioning robot, face turning red at their proximity – PDA like this isn’t even new between them, even though Jisung did accidently make Minho minimise it for a long ass time but thanks to their talk this morning (and the kind-of reconciliation on the ski trip), they’re back to normal (more or less, if you don’t count the whole crush thing). It was long overdue they talk anyway.

Leave it to Minho to go the extra mile by not only giving Jisung his affection back but also making Jisung realise he’s in love with him. Whiplash on another level.

But it does feel very nice. Jisung laughs, quietly but bordering on a hysterical pitch, when Minho puts his chin on his shoulder and grins at him. They’re so close.

Oh no, he can’t look. He can’t help squinting. Minho is too bright from his peripheral vision alone already. “Of course, I came. I told you I would, hyung,” Jisung keeps laughing, hands hovering nervously above Minho’s arms still around his waist and looking around instead. Other dancers passing by.

Thankfully Minho detaches to stand in front of him, still grinning and apparently freshly showered.

“Hyung, you should’ve dried your hair properly. It’s still damp!” Jisung scolds and gestures with his hands – and yes, he may look like a robot still, one who actively avoids eye contact, but he does care about his friend… crush… friend/crush? What do people call this? “You’ll get sick. Zip your jacket up!” Minho is only wearing a shirt under his padded jacket in this cold weather… Minho always gets sick when everyone else is healthy.

In his own words: Minho does not follow trends, he sets them.

“Yeah, yeah, aren’t you caring today…” Minho half-heartedly waves him off but does as told and zips his jacket closed. Then he puts his hands in his jacket pockets, quirking a brow at Jisung, “Seems like you’ve recovered from whatever was going on this morning. I won’t go easy on you then.”

“When do you ever?” Jisung glances up with a frown and a pout but immediately stares down at their shoes. His own feet shifting around in his favourite boots. These boots, which mean today he’s taller than Minho. That’s a sign that he can be stronger today too!

Brace yourself, Han Jisung!

“Oh. Hey Jisung…” Minho says, tone even and serious, “Look at me.”

Thrown out of the loop, Jisung reluctantly looks up, frowning harder the longer Minho keeps their eye contact going. He’s a little confused about what his hyung wants. Minho’s face doesn’t betray him of any emotions, carefully blank.

Meanwhile Jisung feels his own face burning. His breath hitches once more when Minho takes slow steps towards him, coming close. _Too close_. Like a cat about to bounce on their prey. But with a hint of casual elegance.

“Hyung, th–there’s people around…” Jisung feels the stairs’ railing right behind him. With nowhere else to go, still hypnotised by Minho’s slow blinks and intense stare, he tightly grips onto the cold metal railing.

“Wha–What are you… doing…?” Jisung feels even more embarrassed by how quiet and whiny his voice becomes at the end. If he glances at Minho’s lips once or twice, then that’s between him and God. (And Minho who has definitely noticed it.)

Would it be weird of Jisung to put his glowing cheeks against the railing? He really needs to cool off.

“Just looking.” Abruptly backing off, Minho smiles one of his light rectangular smiles, resembling the :] emoji too much.

“Something keeps changing…” Minho mumbles as if talking to himself. “I wonder what it is.” He purses his lips in thought. Jisung blinks at him, even more confused. What’s that supposed to mean? But Minho starts walking away, adjusting the gym bag on his back, before Jisung can even identify the look in his eyes.

Jisung jogs to catch up to him, “Hyung, don’t play around like that! You’re going to give me a heart attack one of these days.”

“Why? What are you gonna do if I don’t stop?” Minho gives him a playful once-over with a raised brow once Jisung walks beside him.

“Ahh,” the younger shakes his head furiously, “I don’t know either, but it can’t be good.” Jisung laughs but on the inside he’s already ten steps ahead. _I’ll probably kiss you_ , Jisung thinks with a grimace, _and then you’ll hate me and break my heart and I’ll have to move back to Malaysia and change my fucking name and start a new life as Han Peter._

“Hmm,” Minho hums and purses his lips, eyes ahead. Absolutely and unfairly oblivious to Jisung’s inner turmoil. “I can probably handle whatever it is.”

Sure, _Minho_ might be able to handle ‘whatever it is’. But _Jisung_ sure as hell wouldn’t be able to.

Frankly, Jisung kind of regrets coming. He very much enjoys spending time with Minho, no question. But he still needs to process the fact that he has become an absolute mad man – crushing on one of his best friends. Jisung is in university, the campus is full of available people and even some attractive ones and _that’s_ the person he’s ended up falling for? Unbelievable dick move on his heart’s part. After such a huge revelation it’s probably the absolute worst idea to meet that best-friend-slash-crush-slash-future-heartbreaker in question so soon and yet… Jisung has mastered all arts of clownery, including clowning his damn self.

“Do you not like cheesecake anymore or something?”

Jisung blinks, pulled out of his thoughts back into reality, and stares at the remains of what used to be a cutely served cheesecake. Oh well. He puts the fork down.

How ethical is it to ask your crush about advice on your crush?

Minho nibbles on a piece of his own – not brutally but neatly stabbed – cheesecake, fork at his lips and eyeing Jisung like he’s a total mystery. Usually Minho is the weirdo people give those stares to. But Minho hasn’t even done many weird things lately. Not in Jisung’s presence, that is – unless Jisung counts last week’s bicycle-ice-cream incident… Nevermind, Minho has definitely done some shit recently too. Maybe Jisung has just become desensitised to Minho’s weirdness. Maybe Jisung is growing his own weird fruits now. Maybe Jisung is weirder than Minho now.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

“Now you’re glaring at me…” Minho clicks his tongue and narrows his eyes at Jisung, suspicious of his behaviour and visibly perplexed.

Jisung shakes himself out of it. Act normal! Be normal!

Friends. Friends don’t get awkward. Don’t be awkward, Jisung. First rule of crushing on one of your best friends: Act like you’re _not_ crushing on them. Show your strength, Han Jisung!

“Okay, no need to up the ante. I get it, _I_ did something, huh? I knew it. That explains your behaviour from this morning too… Just say it. What is it?” Minho puts his own fork down, looking absolutely done and ready to talk about what’s going on. He leans back in his seat and crosses his arms over his chest. “Look, if this is about me stealing your guitar for a bit last Tuesday, then I’m sorry, alright? Nothing happened though and I put it back in your dorm after I was done using it. Felix was part of the whole thing by the way. Jeongin told me you didn’t even notice though… did he rat us out? That little…”

Jisung wonders what Minho would do in this scenario. If Minho was in Jisung’s shoes right now. If Minho had a crush on one of his best friends, what would he do about it?

Wait a minute. Minho should tell Jisung in that case… _Would_ he though? Or would he tell Chan? No, hold the fuck up. Minho is weird. Minho wouldn’t do things normal people do in these situations. Normal people would either suck it up or confess, right? Minho would probably do something completely out of the box.

“… didn’t even know about it. Like yes, _okay_ , I did leave a cat in your dorm. So? Jeongin said I could, and it was the closest place at that time! I recognised the cat from a missing-search-poster so of course I had to bring her back to her home. After dance practice though… It was just for a few hours because last time I brought a cat to dance practice _you know_ what happened and…”

Does Minho even get crushes on people? If this were a drama on TV, Minho would be the ice prince who feeds stray kittens in his free time and is actually really sweet – straight out of a shoujo manga but somehow realistic because Minho actually does feed stray kittens in his free time and considers himself a tsundere. So Minho is more the type of person people _get_ crushes on, not the other way around. Prime example: Han Jisung. That’s why Jisung is in this predicament in the first place. Honestly, it’s so annoying. Anyone would have a crush on someone like Minho! See, this is _so_ not on Jisung.

“You know what, you keep glaring at me, but I have a feeling you’re not even listening to me… are you just trying to make me admit all my crimes? Is that it? Kiss my ass, Han Jisung! I will never admit–”

“Kiss?” Jisung zooms back into reality, blinking wide. Well, he must’ve been staring at Minho for a long time. “Kiss who?”

“My ass,” Minho deflates and rolls his eyes. “You can kiss my ass. I totally wasted my breath. You didn’t even listen.”

“No, I did!”

“Okay, what’s my opinion on the eublepharis macularius then?”

Jisung frowns, “Hyung, you watched that documentary _with_ _me_. You think I don’t remember the scientific name? It’s literally my favourite lizard. We both like the leopard gecko! You said it’s cute. But didn’t you say something about my guitar and cats…?”

Minho looks satisfied and picks up his fork again with a nod. He takes a forkful of his cheesecake, chewing happily before he responds, “Nevermind me. Man, the leopard gecko. Such a cute fellow.”

Well, Jisung may not have listened properly due to the mess inside his head – usually he’s a great listener, he swears – but he did hear something about the dorms, cats and guitars but that’s pretty much all he’s got. There’s something off about the air but Jisung will not question it, lest he’d expose himself. He just gives Minho a nod and watches him eat.

A smile grows on his lips, seeing Minho content.

“Now that you’re back on earth, why did you destroy that innocent cheesecake and then proceeded to glare at me like I did it?” Minho raises a brow, expression back to eyeing Jisung like he’s a weird puzzle. Then he nonchalantly picks at his own cheesecake again.

Right. Jisung scratches the back of his neck and drops his gaze to the messed up remains of cheesecake on his plate. It’s still edible, so he digs in. Their iced americanos are still untouched. “Long story, hyung,” Jisung shakes his head with a sigh, cheeks full. He chews in contemplation. Maybe telling Minho is the best course of action here. Maybe Minho will be nice about it and Jisung won’t have to leave the country in embarrassment and heartbreak. Realistically speaking Minho isn’t the type to be dramatic. He wouldn’t practically banish Jisung out of the country for having feelings.

And Jisung isn’t too bad of a person, right? Jisung is handsome. What’s Minho’s type anyway? Does he even have a type? One way or another Jisung would like to think of himself as a good catch. Sure, he can’t cook at all or clean very well but he’ll do his best to be kind, fun and most importantly: Jisung can wash dishes really well. Minho knows that too.

Not to forget the fact that Minho and Jisung are great friends. Who’s to say they wouldn’t be even better boyfriends? Imagine the possibilities.

Usually Jisung likes to sit on his emotions. No matter if positive or negative, he likes to sit on them and distract himself so they can cool down. But this time Jisung has a feeling he’s been unknowingly sitting on them for way too long to wait even more. The feelings never lessened before, all wrapped up in denial, so why would they now?

And in the end, letting Minho know is being honest.

Minho quietly eats his own cheesecake, but he glances up from time to time, not unaware of how Jisung never once stops watching him. But Jisung knows that Minho knows that Jisung can be weird sometimes too. Like, with the whole staring thing. Nothing new anyway.

Ah… how the hell did he not realise he’s been in love this entire time?!

With determination, Jisung stabs his fork into the remains of the cheesecake and leaves it there, eyes set on Minho.

And when Minho looks up, he does a double-take and even checks behind him before he looks at Jisung again. With round eyes and a slight grimace forming on his lips, he asks, “I can’t tell if you’re back to glaring at me or if you’re just. Motivated? Or something?” He puts his fork on the table and leans back in his seat, grimace growing, “Honestly don’t know who put the fire in your eyes… but, dude, don’t make it look like I did something if I didn’t…” At the end of his sentence, he crosses his arms over his chest and keeps eye contact with Jisung’s fiery stare, not backing down.

Jisung on the other hand readies himself. In front of him are three of his most favourite things on earth.

“Hyung,” he says calmly, “Give me your hand.”

“Why? Which one?”

“Either is fine, just give me your hand.”

Reluctantly, as if Jisung’s a feral dog about to bite Minho reluctantly uncrosses his arms and offers one of his hands. The right one. He’s being careful – Minho is ambidextrous but more dominant in his left hand.

Jisung takes it in both of his own. He notices Minho’s bruised knuckles, probably from boxing so often these days. He should probably take care of that. Minho’s hands are still soft though, always softer than Jisung’s. When he looks up from their joined hands, Minho is already watching him with round eyes and lips parted the tiniest bit. It's not an unfamiliar expression.

Jisung’s heart rate picks up. Knocks against his ribcage. He gulps and wills himself to speak.

“Hyung, there’s something I need to tell you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#2.10. P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Bang Christopher Chan  
>  **Occupation:** Music Production Major (4th Semester), Assistant DJ/MC at Radio Station, member of the swimming club  
>  **Other (2) :** keeps bro-zoning Felix, everyone's confused about his sexuality and he thinks it's funny, probably knows who you're crushing on, is very kind but will not hesitate to be strict when needed
> 
> * * *
> 
> the clownery never ends! 🤡 but jisung is really trying his best alright. let's cut him some slack. @ourmysteryboylino how are you doing? oh minho... haha! our local cat boy. anyway... i shall not speak too much! i'm sure jisung's mess of a mind has excited you? maybe? hmm?  
> let me know your thoughts in the comments! it's very motivating! ☆
> 
> btw, the new skz album in life is so great. i literally love every song skz brings out. not only do their songs sound awesome, they're so smartly put together too. stream [Back Door MV](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-uJtV8ScYk) and keep voting! support Stray Kids, let's give them a win!


	11. Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blink and you'll miss it.

In retrospect Felix should have known that no day passes peacefully with friends like his but usually he’s fine with a little chaos. For today Felix is tired though.

First he had invited Chan out to the arcade, went to wait for him outside his apartment building, only for Chan to be 30 minutes late. Surprisingly Felix met Minho first – who stopped, gave him a granola bar and patted his head before leaving – and then he saw Jisung run out the building, pause to catch his breath without noticing Felix, and sprint down the street clad in pyjamas. For some reason he has a feeling that today is a very special day.

Bun bun bun to sleep, for sure. Felix will need to sleep this day off later. It just feels like a day that’ll stay on your mind for a while. Anyway!

When Chan had finally appeared, Felix thought they could finally let loose and have fun at the gaming arcade. Instead, he had a worried Chan on his hands and a worried Chan means no fun. Or, well, restricted fun. Don’t get Felix wrong, Felix still played the games there and dragged Chan along to cheer him up but it’s just… It’s like poking a sad wolf who’s thinking of howling at the moon – or sun since it’s still the afternoon. Chan kept telling Felix about Retro Han Jisung’s comeback and a possible crisis.

Personally, Felix still isn’t sure what any of that even means.

Now they’ve decided to go to a café near campus before going home. They quickly order and pay to look for seats. At least this should save Felix’s day. The strawberry shortcakes are today’s special so they’re discounted – it’s the little things in life that bring happiness!

“Oh hey, look,” Chan nudges Felix, “Minho and Jisung are over there.” The glint in his eyes tells Felix that he’s trying to analyse the situation. But when Felix looks over to where Chan is looking, all he sees is the back of Minho’s head and Jisung who looks somewhere down at the table between them, unusually serious. Maybe he’s trying to be dramatic for comedic effect.

Together with Chan, Felix slowly makes their way over to their friends’ table. The closer they get the more they hear what’s being said.

“I…” And Jisung says that multiple times. “I…”

“You…?” Minho patiently encourages. From the sound of it, this has been going on for a while now.

“I like…”

“You like…?”

“I…”

“Don’t backtrack, Jisung, we were at ‘I like’, go on. You can do it.”

“I… like…?”

“Yeah, you like… you like _what_ , Jisung?”

Minho sounds like a teacher but the good kind – Felix would know.

Finally him and Chan come to a stop at their table. They see the way Jisung tenderly holds onto one of Minho’s hands with both of his, massaging it absentmindedly. (That’s so cute!) While Jisung keeps mumbling along the lines of ‘I’ and ‘I like’ under his breath, eyes on their hands, Minho is already looking up at Chan and Felix with mild curiosity.

“What are you guys up to?” Minho tilts his head at them, unbothered by Jisung’s mumbling growing increasingly more frustrated while still gently holding and massaging his hand.

Minho’s hands are really soft, Felix knows that too.

Chan, ever the caring hyung, looks at their intertwined hands with a relieved smile, “I was worried he wouldn’t follow up on your invite to be honest. I don’t know what’s up with Jisung but thanks for taking care of him, Minho.”

Not taking it serious, Minho shrugs. Ignoring Chan, Felix meets Minho’s eyes next – the only two people in this almost empty café on the same page. Felix blinks in response to Minho’s blinking and then asks, “Just got back from the arcade. Is it alright if we join you guys?”

A flat smile in return from Minho. “Considering we’ll probably be here for a while, sure.”

With that, Chan slides next to Minho in the booth and on the other side Felix slides in next to Jisung. In an instant Jisung startles out of his mantra with an “Ah! Felix?!” and then looks at Chan with a “Chan hyung?!”. They put their stuff on the table and take their coats off. Minho on the other hand takes the opportunity to casually slide his hand out of Jisung’s hold. With pink cheeks, Jisung hides his own hands away on his lap under the table, acting like he didn’t totally just hold hands with Minho.

Grumbling quietly and frowning to himself, Jisung looks out the window, “Can’t fucking believe I get interrupted like this…”

Suspicious.

Trying to assess the situation at hand, Felix and Chan reach the same decision. Both of them give questioning looks to Jisung but mostly to Minho.

“You look at me for answers like I ever have any,” Minho deadpans, taking a sip of his drink (which is definitely iced americano as always). Jisung’s own cup looks untouched.

Is this Retro Jisung? Aggressive concentration and shyness in one? Felix never met Retro Jisung so he has no idea.

From the way Jisung shrinks into himself, unsurely looking between the table and Minho, Felix guesses they shouldn’t have interrupted whatever was going on. Even when the conversation picks up as usual and Jisung perks up again, something is clearly different about him. Whether it’s started now or even before Felix saw him run out the apartment building earlier today, is a mystery. Felix leans back in his seat to figure it out – ‘I like’? – something even Minho seems to be clueless about. The first thing that pops up in his mind is, of course, ‘I like _you_ ’ as in Jisung likes Minho, but knowing Jisung and his denial, that can’t be it. Unless it’s a friendly ‘I like you’ then _maybe_ … Yeah, that sounds about right.

Ahh, Felix has so many thoughts.

“Well, Yongbok is a sweetheart, can cook and he knows martial arts too. Isn’t that boyfriend material? Plus he’s a dancer.” Minho throws into the round, making Felix pay attention again since his name was mentioned.

Jisung huffs and frowns at that, “Are you saying you don’t support Hyunjin?”

“I don’t think it’s a matter of support or not. In the end Seungmin decides on his own, right?” says Chan in a very diplomatic but logical manner. A little lost on what they’re talking about Felix tries to catch up by listening properly now.

“Well, If I were Seungmin, I’d date our Yongbokie,” Minho smiles at Felix and for some reason Felix feels proud, heart skipping a beat at the praise. Nice one, Felix!

“I’d do my best to be a good boyfriend. Thanks, Minho hyung!” Felix reaches over to squeeze Minho’s hand but is lightly slapped away by Jisung who speaks up next, offended glare on Felix before he looks back up at Minho, “Is Felix your type, hyung? Is that how it is? I need an honest answer.”

Imagining ‘yes’, that’d be high praise too but Felix kind of thinks even if Minho _did_ have a specific type, that’s not who his heart actually goes for. But that’s just Felix’s opinion!

Chan just crosses his arms, leaning back in his seat and seems to simply decide on watching the scene unfold. Come to think of it, Chan would be pretty awesome boyfriend material too. Always so strong, sweet and encouraging, caring and mature… but he’s always so busy!

“Type? Ah…” Minho tilts his head like it’s a very difficult question, rolling his eyes up in thought. Felix finds himself thinking with him. If it’s about ideal types, while very open minded, Felix has to think about Changbin. Changbin is cool, can be sentimental, can be very fun, is strong and gives off intimidating vibes but can also be a huge softie. That’s 10/10 Felix’s ideal type. Even if Changbin’s skillset is mostly limited to music, math and fitness matters.

But right now? Pursing his lips and nudging Jisung, Felix leans forward on the table and grins at Minho, “Just gonna lay it out on the table, I’d always be up to date you, Minho hyung.” And then he cheekily sticks his tongue out at Jisung. Looking at Jisung’s expression that barely conceals the building jealousy is so funny that Felix takes no offense to the glare he’s receiving. Of course, Felix is only (half) joking!

“You’re up to dating _any_ one of us!” Jisung nudges Felix back, on his way to be sulky. Then turns to Minho with a chiding finger, “Don’t take him up on that, Minho hyung. Take someone who makes you feel special. You can cook and know martial arts too anyway, so you don’t need a boyfriend like that!”

Chan lifts up a finger and opens his mouth to say something, hand on Minho’s arm but Minho speaks up first, still thinking about what his type could be, “Well, if I had a romantic partner they shouldn’t be a lost cause… they should at least be on Hyunjin’s level who knows kitchen basics and have the potential to look intimidating if needed, you know?” Lightly chuckling to himself mostly in an afterthought, he adds, “Hyunjin is mostly harmless though…”

“What about a fun boyfriend who washes dishes well?” Jisung asks, trying to appeal with eyes full of hope and a smile.

Considering it, Minho nods his head a few times. “Hm,” he shrugs at Jisung, “That’s useful too… Hmm, I don’t know if I have a type… Just someone who matches me well, isn’t annoying and likes me a lot is fine, I guess.”

“I, for one,” Felix throws in his two cents, “Would just date someone I actually like, who likes me too and have good chemistry with. The rest will naturally follow up.”

Minho lights up with a grin and points at Felix like he’s just caught him red-handed. “Aha! So you _would_ date Seungmin!”

“I never said I’m opposed to it!”

“ _Like I said_ ,” Jisung waves Felix off, “You’d literally date any one of us, Felix. Just don’t take Minho and I’ll be fine with whatever. And treat whoever one you date right. No dating Seungmin though, Hyunjin is on that case as we all know. I don’t want any broken hearts in this club!”

Genuinely scandalised – because did Jisung just imply he would take a friend’s crush away and maybe not treat them right either?! No warnings needed! – Felix widens his eyes, explaining with the help of his hands too, “I’d be lying if I said you’re wrong, but I wouldn’t actually try to date someone my friend likes! Do I look like an asshole to you?”

Before they can discuss further, Chan clears his throat and raises his voice a little, “Stop, stop! I think I have it figured out.” Chan huffs out a laugh, stands up and shrugs his jacket on. He points two excited thumbs-up at a confused Jisung and Minho, “You can do it. We believe in you two!” And then turns to Felix, “Felix, let’s go.”

Clueless but at attention, Felix is already putting his trust in Chan. He’s up and getting ready to leave too. “Why? Where are we going?”

“No, wait, hey. We can leave together. I have a paper to finish tonight anyway.” Minho casually mentions. He gets up too and slides out the booth, already on his way out and sliding his padded jacket and gym bag on. Leaving Chan and Felix to stare at his retreating back.

Mumbling to himself, Chan dejectedly looks at the floor, “Why is playing wingman so hard…”

Only now does Felix notice that their cups and plates are all empty. A little late on the take, Jisung gets up too, following behind Minho with a confused glance to Chan and fuzzy jacket on (oh, it’s the one Felix gifted him last year!). He strikes up a conversation with Minho again.

(“Minho hyung! Hyung! I really need to tell you something!” – “Then spit it out already, Jisung! We tried for 20 minutes already, remember? Don’t drag it out.” – “Hyung! I’m not…” is all Felix hears until they’re out the doors.)

Felix watches them through the shop’s tall windows as they stand outside and wait for Felix and Chan to come out. Nothing of the ‘I like…’ atmosphere is left but something is definitely different. Minho says something with a smug smile and Jisung throws his head back in laughter, leaning against Minho’s side. They keep the close proximity to each other. Minho looking around and nuzzling into his padded jacket due to the cold, while Jisung looks at Minho with sparks in his eyes.

As soon as Jisung’s gaze travels to the floor with a shy smile, Minho looks at him and snorts, amused and fond. Their eyes meet again and it’s like a bubble encases them, eyes seemingly only for each other.

The sight is nothing new, it really isn’t. Looking on from the outside but knowing the two boys well, there is something _new_ in the equation. Felix just can’t put his finger on it.

Maybe Felix just overthinks too much.

* * *

The topic is forgotten until a few days later.

The apartment that belongs to Seungmin and Felix very much reflects the personalities of its owners melted together. The L-shaped couch a crème colour. Soft tones of yellow, orange and crème. Modern furniture and decoration. There’s baby pink for the throw blankets on the couch. For the most part it’s clean and organised. Their respective rooms are more obvious: Felix’s room colourful, filled with trinkets as memory holders, videogame equipment and lots of well taken care of plushies. Seungmin’s room keeps to soft colours, well lit, full of photographs he took neatly on display, filled bookshelves and the puppy plushie that looks a little like himself. In the hallway right between their room doors is a painting of a vase of sunflowers. The apartment exudes cosy vibes, no matter the time of day.

Felix and Seungmin are both caught off guard when Minho sprawls his body across their laps like an overgrown cat.

Taking the chance, Hyunjin crawls right on top and snuggles down on Minho’s body – larger body completely covering his hyung’s smaller frame – nuzzling into Minho’s chest like an overgrown puppy. Minho huffs out a breath at the unexpected weight on top of him. The couch is big enough, they don’t really have to do that.

Good thing Felix doesn’t mind cuddle piles. He happily pets both of their heads despite the heavy weight. Seungmin on the other hand, lap full with two butts instead, slaps Hyujin’s butt and then pokes Minho’s from the side since he can’t reach further. “You’re heavy,” Seungmin complains but is ignored because they all know he also likes the PDA. The digital clock on one of the shelves by the TV reads 18:46. And despite the time, it’s comfortable.

“Can’t believe the competition is tonight,” Hyunjin’s voice is muffled from where his face is still planted in Minho’s fuzzy baby pink sweater. Hyunjin’s wearing the baby blue equivalent to it but neither of them has noticed yet, which is probably why it’s still so peaceful.

Minho groans quietly in annoyance, “Don’t remind me. Apparently all 800 tickets have been sold…”

“No way!” Felix feels the fearful anticipation shiver its way down his spine.

“You’ll win, idiots. If not you, who else? You’ve been practicing for months,” Seungmin gently chides, “You should be confident!”

“Uuugh…” Minho groans again, now gently petting Hyunjin’s hair for stress relief.

In turn Hyunjin snuggles closer, “By the way, I could really get used to this.”

“Don’t,” Minho immediately drops his hand. “Which reminds me, you know what I can’t get used to? Jisung’s weird behaviour lately.”

Oh? Felix looks down with blatant curiosity, raised brows and all. Minho calling someone weird? Must be serious. Interesting. Hyunjin seems to be just as curious, head popping up to look at Minho with an excited grin, “Why? What did he do? Spill the tea, hyung.”

Minho hangs his head back over Felix’s thigh, upside down, eyes on the side of the couch, “I’m not sure… Technically I talked about it with him since it was just something, uhm, different I’ve noticed. The conversation didn’t get us anywhere though, I think, and since then he’s just become weird. I still remember that day but I can’t figure out the cause of this development.”

“You must’ve been thinking hard. Are you complaining about Jisung paying more attention to you?” Seungmin chuckles and pats Minho’s side from where he can reach, “Don’t be so hard on him.”

There’s a dramatic gasp from Hyunjin. “Can’t believe _the Lee Know_ is talking with us about his problems. The romantic kinds nonetheless! The power of Jisung…”

“It’s not a problem!” Minho leans to look up and grabs Hyunjin by the cheeks, pulling left and right as Hyunjin squirms and whines on top of him. “He’s a little like you are with Seungmin though.” Then he lets Hyunjin’s cheeks go and Hyunjin lets his face fall down against Minho’s chest again, arms hanging loosely off his sides.

“Like I am with Seungmin?”

“Like Hyunjin is with me?”

Confusion by both with different intonations. Felix sighs, “I know what you mean, Minho hyung. Go on.”

“Yeah, and he keeps saying he needs to tell me something and then just mumbles ‘I like, I like, I like’ but never even tells me anything! Oh, and don’t even get me started on the increased skinship and staring. I mean, uhm, nothing new – except the wanting to tell me something and the mumbling thing – but everything Jisung does is more intense than before. That’s not even the half of it… To keep it short, I have no idea what’s going on lately.” Minho throws his head back again, whining just like Hyunjin did a moment before.

Felix has his suspicions about the root of this problem, but he doesn’t want to interpret too much into it. Either way, does Jisung even realise the toll his actions have on Minho? Not to mention his strong denial too. Felix shakes his head with a sigh. Hopefully it’ll all find a happy ending soon. Before Chan arrives to take them to the competition, Minho should at least get some of the frustration off his chest.

“Hyunjin, get off me or I’ll throw you off,” Minho lightly pushes at the tallest on top. With little reluctance Hyunjin gets up, accidently elbowing Minho in the ribs – “Ow!” – and moving to press himself in between Seungmin and Felix, squeezing his legs under Minho as well. (It's a shock that Minho only gives Hyunjin a glare for his clumsiness.) “I knew I had to enjoy it while it lasted,” Hyunjin mumbles, snuggling up against Seungmin immediately.

Now free, Minho rolls off their laps and stands up. “Maybe you won’t believe me but,” Minho throws himself in the corner of the L-shaped couch next to Felix, “Jisung tried to hold my hand exactly 37 times this week alone. And it’s only Friday. One of those times I think he went in for a kiss too. I’m not sure though. None of you have tried to kiss me for a year or something, so what’s up with that? I thought we all agreed not to test me with kissing taunts anymore? We had a vote and everything.”

“Yeah, unfortunately we did agree on that…” Felix sighs, mourning the loss. All of them had playfully teased Minho (and each other) with kisses a long time ago but none of them ever actually got to kiss Minho; not because Minho didn’t want to kiss them, but because Minho really went for it once he realised what they were up to. None of them were emotionally prepared for that response – yes, not even Jisung. At the beginning of their friendship Minho used to be way shyer with them all, so that was a shock. In the end nothing ever came of it.

A pity, especially now that Felix is a _confident_ bisexual… he’d take all the kisses! But Felix perks up again because, “I believe you, Minho hyung. Man, only 37 times? Really? But hey, at least he threw in a kiss try.” Felix clasps a hand on Minho’s thigh with a sympathetic smile, “I think he’s growing up, hyung. All active and stuff.”

Minho frowns and narrows his eyes in suspicion at him, “Are you implying he’s horny? You keep surprising me, Yongbokie.”

“No!” Hyunjin shoots forward to look at Minho then settles down again once Minho raises a brow at him. “Okay, maybe, but like, not to sound delusional or like I wanna expose Jisung again but–”

The doorbell rings. Hyunjin dramatically deflates.

“That’s probably our chauffeur to escort us to the rest of the idiot brigade,” Seungmin mutters under his breath but they all hear him, as he gets up to open the apartment door. Felix feels himself die a little inside. Things were literally just about to get interesting and Chan really choose now to arrive, huh.

(There is a quiet “We’re all part of this idiot brigade _with you_ , I hope you know that” from Minho.)

The first one trudging into the living room is a gently smiling Chan. His eyes are empty when he speaks, “Having a hyped Changbin and Jisung in my car together with an easily excitable Jeongin reminds me of why I can only deal with one 3RACHA member as a roommate.” He already drove the other guys to the place where the competition will be and is now here to pick the dance team, plus Seungmin, up. Where would they be without Chan?

Probably at the bus stop. Them, loud ass chaos people. Ruining their image too.

Luckily, they have Chan!

“I can hear the screams and stupid lines and they’re not even here,” Seungmin sympathises with the oldest, coming in right behind him, “Hyunjin did say he’s getting his driver’s license though so maybe we can group things differently for drives soon. Without unnecessary squeezing too.”

“As long as you’re with me, Seungminnie,” Hyunjin sings, grabbing him by the hips and making Seungmin sit on his lap. Unbothered, Seungmin lets himself get manhandled and leans into the embrace.

There’s a fond snort from a watchful Minho. Felix smiles with as much amusement.

“Danceracha, just get ready please so we can leave,” Chan sits down by the coffee table on the floor and leans back on his arms, “As cute as you guys look in your matching fluffy sweaters, we are on a time schedule.”

“Oh, I know– wait, matching?” Minho stops and looks down at himself, then at Felix – smile from Felix – and at Hyunjin, who is already grinning at him.

“I didn’t _plan_ to wear a couples ‘fit with you,” Hyunjin smugly says, “But we look good, don’t we? Seungmin, don’t worry, you will be next but it’ll be on purpose.”

“I’m not worried–”

“I’m putting out a disclaimer right now that, outside of dancing, I am _not_ ever wearing a ‘couple’s fit’ with Hwang Hyunjin–”

“It’s literally the same sweater in a different colour, hyung!”

“–and will now leave to change into my outfit, goodbye.” And with that Minho gets up and leaves the room, probably on his way to Felix’s room. With an eye roll Hyunjin, and with a smile Felix, both follow him.

Changbin, Jisung and Jeongin will meet them later at the venue as part of the audience. Felix has chocolate chip cookies prepared – the ones Chan and Jisung kept begging for – for whether they win or not, it can be presented to his team of three as congratulations or as consolation. Hopefully it won’t be the latter. Felix wants everything to go smoothly and if this works out, maybe everything else will, too.

It’s a secret still, but Hyunjin has planned to tell Seungmin about his feelings tonight. Winning would mean a sign, Hyunjin had said. Apparently he's thought long and hard about it. Worried that Seungmin hasn't understood any of his very obvious signals, he deemed it the best course of action to officially confess to Seungmin. Bold! Somehow Felix finds himself excited for his two friends and hopes that, maybe, tonight will trigger everyone to become even closer to each other.

Tonight is the dance competition they’ve been training _months_ for.

Everything has to be good tonight.

One performance after another and finally it’s their turn. Minho, Hyunjin, Felix.

The hall is dominated by their presence. The music starts, throbs in their veins and they move their bodies precisely to every single beat. The audience is enthralled. Felix has no idea what they’re thinking, he can barely even take the sight in. He’s lost inside his own movements just like his two friends on stage with him – they move as if the three of them are one. Through Felix’s eyes the world is a whirlwind and right now on stage, he shines.

 _They_ shine. Minho, Hyunjin and Felix.

From their team performance to their solos, they shine. Felix is sure of it. From Hyunjin’s power moves in interpretive dance for a modern song, to Felix’s energetic pops and hits for a mix of trendy tracks, to Minho’s elegant waves and graceful aura for an alluring melody.

Backstage the three of them collapse into a group hug. None of them care whether they win or not because they already feel accomplished for the night, having showcased their polished dance skills.

But they do. Their names are announced, having accumulated the most points out of all the teams.

 _They win_.

The audience cheers. Somewhere near the front of the stage their group of friends are the loudest. 800+ guests, contestants and staff but Felix, Hyunjin and Minho only have eyes for them: Chan, Changbin, Jisung, Seungmin, Jeongin. Their cheers are so loud it should be embarrassing. They’ve been watching, ready to engulf the three of them in a big hug no matter the outcome. They’re screaming with bright smiles while Felix, together with Hyunjin and Minho, leave the stage with bodies drenched in sweat, happiness and disbelief.

And Felix thinks he has the best friends in the world.

“I knew you’d win!” Chan, breathless and brightly grinning, manages to hug all three of them in a tight embrace with his long arms once they all reunite outside the venue in the dimly lit parking lot, where other strangers from the same event go to their cars. “We knew it! Gosh, you three were amazing on stage.”

Right after him follow Changbin, Jisung, Seungmin and Jeongin and suddenly they’re all hugging and yelling different things but they’re all happy.

Exchanging compliments, teasing and thank yous, they’re all calming down but buzzing contently. By then, Hyunjin has already dragged Seungmin away with quiet goodbyes. Sending Hyunjin a thumbs up, in his mind Felix wishes them immense luck on what’s in store for the two. The rest of the boys don’t question their leave either; they can’t all take Chan’s car anyway.

“Minho hyung, the ending in your solo part was not the same as we saw in your video. Did you change it last minute? The judges were so impressed with you!” Felix hears Jisung ask with an unabashedly awed expression and tiny jumps, “I couldn’t take my eyes off you! You had us on the edge of our seats!”

Almost shy, cheeks flushing, Minho leans his back against Chan’s car and looks down to the side. “The practice room is very different from the stage. So I just moved with what I felt to the music…” he admits, voice soft and warm, tugging his coat around himself more as he crosses his arms loosely with an awkward little smile.

So, all of the end of his solo was complete freestyle? That’s impressive as hell. Felix and Jisung let out a _Woah_ and Changbin pats Minho on the shoulder with a genuinely proud grin, “So cool, hyung.”

“Kinda have to thank you guys for that,” Minho looks up at each of them before he looks down again, now obviously shy and playing with his hands hidden in his sleeves. It seems to take him a lot of courage to say what comes next. Jisung and Changbin, right in front of him, seem to sense it too as their expressions fall to complete attention. Chan simply smiles fondly and Jeongin blinks curiously. “When I saw all of you in the audience looking at us with so much… expectation? pride? faithfulness? I just… I don’t know, I thought I had to show my truest colours for the solo.”

“Your truest colours?” Jisung repeats quietly. Isn’t all of the dance their own colour already? Now Felix wonders too, turning completely to Minho.

“Yeah! What's truer than freestyle?” Minho grins at Jisung, probably too giddy to think about concealing his emotions for once. “You know when you look at someone special to you and you just, you know, want to show them _all_ of you? You just want to be… the best and most honest you that you can be?” Minho excitedly waves his hands around as if they help his explanation, but unsure of his choice of words, “I don’t know how to say it but that’s how I felt up there. Ahh, I still feel it in my fingers…” He scrunches his nose up, the smile not leaving, and wiggles his body from the leftover feelings.

Somehow Minho has stunned all five of them into silence. Not even Chan knows what to say. Felix lowkey feels like Minho has just professed his love to them. _Lowkey_. This is Lee Minho – he rarely offers his more serious emotions and thoughts to others. Felix loves his messy group of friends and he knows, even without words, they all love him and each other too – they really are best friends! – but having one of the more (emotionally) quiet friends offer you a bit of their heart…

That goes straight to your heart! Lee Minho, always making an impact at unexpected times.

Naturally Felix checks everyone else’s reactions too but the one’s that stand out the most are Jisung and Changbin – the only two not smiling. Jisung looks shellshocked, like suddenly he’s seeing Minho in a different light. That’s adorable but one move over there is something that worries Felix.

For some reason Changbin’s gaze is trained on Minho but far away, completely out of place with the current atmosphere.

Felix is pulled out of his analysis by Minho’s whiny “No way…!” Minho seems to have just realised the weight of his words as his face falls into disgusted shock and quick blinks. Under the streetlight his ears burn a deep red and so do his cheeks, more and more. “Don’t look at me like that!” he complains loudly, stomping his feet, and then he walks away.

Where’s he going? Felix grins at his behaviour. Chan and Jeongin burst into laughter. Jisung’s lips tug into a secretive smile and warm gaze, he looks deep in thought for only a split second before he goes after Minho in unhurried steps. The two disappear around the corner of the parking lot.

When Felix checks back on Changbin, Changbin is smiling again. No trace left of the somber look from before. Oh, did Felix just misread him before?

“Minho hyung really said that and dipped…” Jeongin says with a hand on his chest, lips in a line and visibly touched. “Even I had my heart flutter from that. Truly terrible.”

Chan hums in agreement, arms crossed and dimples on display with pride, “Maybe I should do speeches like that more often too…? You guys get such good energy from it. Ahh, our Minho…”

“You already sweet talk a lot like that in general,” Jeongin gives him a judging look. “Just enjoy the Lee Know effect, hyung. You have your own charm.”

“I was joking but now you’re making my heart flutter too,” Chan giggles and punches Jeongin’s shoulder, light and shy. Jeongin rolls his eyes but the corners of his lips tug up.

And from all his many thoughts swirling inside of his mind, Felix pulls out the only conclusion he can think of: “Maybe all of us have been the heartthrobs all along…” 

And then Changbin steps forward, chest puffed out and chin up.

“Let’s go get food somewhere nearby and celebrate. I’ll pay!” Changbin announces, wide grin and loud voice. Of course, no one can say no to that offer, so they all happily trudge after him. Or, well, after Minho and Jisung who are probably long gone by now. Chan remembers to text them about meeting them at the closest fast-food place – which happens to be a little fried chicken place.

Felix and Minho – just like Hyunjin, wherever he is with Seungmin right now – will probably get weird looks for their fancy outfits next to their casual-smart dressed friends. The dancers not only wear tight black leather-like pants and shiny red satin blouses under their coats – Chef’s kiss, because the outfits were Felix’s idea – but also have glitter in their hair, glittery soft eye makeup and fancy silver accessories adorning their ears and attire.

But what does that matter? Whoever can look. Being overdressed isn’t that bad.

In a way they all still buzz with high spirits. Maybe it’s from the win, maybe it’s from Minho’s rare words of explicit affection or maybe it’s just them as people together – to Felix, it’s magical. Something he can probably only experience because he’s with these exact people right in this moment. The night is young, the stars are out and the moon is hidden behind one big white cloud. The streets are illuminated by the lights from the tall buildings, passing cars and streetlights – and maybe their silent but warm smiles.

  
But all the way down the street, Changbin stops before they can even round the last corner to their destination. Out of reflex the rest of them stop too.

“Why did you–”

“Shh.” Changbin shushes Felix immediately. Alright, why so serious again?

And then they hear it.

“… hard to find the words. It’s so hard to say it, you don’t even know, hyung. But I really want you to know. Before anyone else, you deserve to hear it the most.” Jisung?

“I never stopped you from saying whatever you want to say, Jisung.” That’s Minho’s calm voice. But Felix senses the wariness in it. “What’s holding you back?”

“Fuck, I really don’t know, hyung. Fear? Maybe?” Jisung’s voice shakes with genuine but quiet frustration. How unusual of their mood maker. “Not that it matters.” A deep sigh. “Somehow it’s always you who breaks through everything that holds me back. First you made me acknowledge the truth when I didn’t want to. And I swear after that, I’ve been trying to get myself to not only understand but to say it too. Trying to hype myself up to just tell you but it never worked out. Like my own mouth was against me. Until now. See? It always takes you to offer me a key for the chains I put on myself. I don’t even know if you realise the effect you have on me. It’s just… maybe… you make me want to show you my truest colours too.”

A pause hangs heavy in the air just like the meaning of those spoken words.

It’s such a private exchange. Felix puts two fingers on his neck to check his pulse; he feels like they arrived right in the middle of a movie’s climax. Him, Chan, Changbin and Jeongin shouldn’t be here. Minho and Jisung should have this moment for themselves.

And yet they’re still standing here – gosh, Hyunjin would absolutely lose it if he were here – they’re taking the role of a spell-bound audience for another show altogether. Not for the view – they can’t see Minho and Jisung right now – but their words only meant to be heard by each other.

Chan, Changbin, Jeongin and Felix should probably leave. But they’re curious, Felix is so curious, but they should leave, right?

There’s a buzz from his smartphone in his pockets.

“I… I like… No, that doesn’t quite cut it.” Jisung is speaking again, chuckling a little breathlessly. He sounds thoughtful. Thoughtful but ready for whatever comes next.

“Hm?” A barely audible noise of confusion from Minho. It makes him sound younger. So unsure and soft in contrast to Jisung.

“What I feel for you, Minho hyung, is love.”

A strong breeze comes out of nowhere – blowing through their clothes, the dirt on the street, the bushes and trees.

Next to Felix, Changbin’s breath audibly hitches but Felix can’t see his shadowed expression from this angle. Behind them, Jeongin’s and Chan’s jaws drop open, exchanging wide eyed shock and hands over their mouths to keep themselves from making noise. Their eyes form crescent moons in excitement.

Felix has to smile too. He checks his phone.

**CHAT: Hyun.e 🌸🦙**

Hyun.e **🌸🦙** : took a taxi. we’re at your place now **23:23**  
Hyun.e **🌸🦙** : and guess what? minho hyung sabotaged my confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#5.11. P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Lee Felix Yongbok  
>  **Occupation:** Information Technology (IT) Major (2nd Semester), member of local dance studio  
>  **Other (2) :** checks his pulse when he's nervous, would shower all of his friends with kisses if they'd ask for it, his thoughts aren't as useless as he deems them to be, praise him and he'll wag his metaphorical tail
> 
> * * *
> 
> you, at the end of last chapter: 😱😱😱  
> you, at the start of this chapter: (≖_≖ ) / (ง'̀-'́)ง  
> you, at the end of this chapter: 😱😱😱  
> at least that's how i imagined it lmao sorry for playing with your heart like this. hope u liked it tho ♥ hmm, where will this lead us?  
> (also, i just love when minho, who acts all 😑, does some explicit 🥰. he's a whole sweetheart.)  
> i'd love to read your thoughts about the chapter in the comments! ☆
> 
> p.s.: congrats to skz for two consecutive wins!! i'm so proud of them! let's keep it up with streaming and voting, stay! ♥


	12. Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’ll be damned if Minho doesn’t even properly _see_ him.

The night carries a blanket of stars and keeps the moon hidden behind one big white cloud. Big cities like Seoul – especially in entertainment and art districts where dance competitions and the likes are held – are always illuminated by the energy of people, streetlights, and colourful light from inside the tall buildings and passing cars.

But this street they’re on is strangely quiet. Away from the bustle of strangers’ laughter and chatter. Nothing special, just a corner street in front of a small fried chicken place.

Just two friends waiting.

The whole way down here Jisung and Minho have been smiling for shared and different reasons altogether. Jisung hadn’t even realised when it got quieter around them.

Suddenly Minho stops and turns around, almost making Jisung bump straight into him, “Shall we wait till the others arrive before we go in?”

Ah, they’re here already. Jisung recovers fast, mind already taken in by the sparkle in Minho’s eyes and he nods. The smile on Jisung’s face doesn’t budge, if anything it grows a little stronger. There is a strange fluttering in his tummy; it’s one he has already become accustomed to.

Awareness is newborn, but the truth feels ancient.

Because it always comes from the same place for the same reasons. It – this special thing Jisung has only ever felt for Minho.

Lee Minho, who has no idea how he makes Jisung feel at all.

The two of them lean back against a short brick wall, side by side. Behind it are flower bushes and the diamond glass block windows of the open little fried chicken place. Somehow Minho looks like he glows. Or maybe it’s just his smile.

(Not the same smile as the one Minho had thrown over his shoulder once he noticed that Jisung followed him. “Hyung, wait for me!” That one had been warm, more playful and a little disbelieving. This one is sweet and soft, barely lifted corners of the lips in thoughtfulness. Not any less warm than the first one though.)

In its paradoxical webs this feeling – love? – now, is calming and exciting at once. And that’s exactly how Jisung feels about telling Minho about it. Maybe he should be a little more scared. He isn’t sure how Minho manages to always bring Jisung out of his shell, because, well. He _had_ been scared. Terrified, really. The fear isn’t even quite gone yet either. When it comes to love, all the dramas and all the comics show sweaty hands, thundering heartbeats, stuttering, and trembling. In a way they are right too since that is not unfamiliar to Jisung. The deep denial of his feelings combined with the skittishness of wanting to keep it all hidden and people seeing right through him, seeing what Jisung had refused to see himself – that’s when he felt the chaos of it all.

With his newfound honesty and growing understanding, Jisung feels comfort overshadow the lingering fear. It may sound complicated to anyone else but to Jisung his little world looks a little simpler now.

And Minho. No, Minho hasn’t become any easier to figure out. What Jisung means is that, _because_ of Minho Jisung feels comfort and a tingle of excitement. Any fear and insecurity Jisung may carry around under an exaggerated show of his (already big, really!) ego is now blanketed by Minho’s presence. Jisung can simply be himself with Minho.

“Truest colours.” Jisung isn’t sure why he starts there. Minho’s smile doesn’t disappear, he simply lifts his head up from where he was staring at the asphalt to look at Jisung instead. Curious eyes as always.

Jisung gives him a grin.

Minho’s smile drops to a thin line. “ _Alright_. I know you guys liked what I said but let’s not make a big deal about it, hm?” Minho raises his brows and pulls a grimace. Then he snorts and lets his gaze drop somewhere else. Jisung sees his ears turn red – under the makeup his cheeks probably do the same. Maybe Minho thinks Jisung just wants to tease him. “I don’t know what came over me.” Minho makes a show of shuddering and hugging himself, trying not to grin but Jisung sees right through him, “I just had that… that _feeling_ … but now I just feel embarrassed!”

Well, Jisung didn’t really mean to tease him but it’s a sweet view to have. “It’s okay~,” Jisung lifts his hand and gently pets Minho’s styled hair. It’s a little sticky with dried sweat and hairspray, but still manages to look good. “Your words really touched my heart, hyung.” If only Minho knew just how much.

Minho lifts his head to look at Jisung again, frowning and jutting his lips out a little that it almost looks like a pout. And he lets Jisung pet his head. Other days Jisung would’ve at least gotten scolded at minimum. “Hey,” Minho says, gaze going over Jisung’s face before it settles on his eyes again, “You look so happy, but I don’t know if you’re being an asshole or being honest…”

“I’m being honest!” Jisung says immediately, only a little offended as he drops his hand and fully turns his body towards Minho. His reaction makes Minho laugh loudly, so Jisung naturally snickers along. _Happy, huh._

“Haa,” Minho breathes out in a high pitch but quiet volume, once he calms down and he wipes away a fake tear from his laughter. “Jisungie, you’re such a clown, you know?”

“Are you still on that?” Jisung pulls the cutest sad face he can do; big eyes, pout and cheeks filled with air. Minho laughs again, absolutely amused. Jisung whines, “I know you saved my contact name with some clown reference! You better have changed that by now! ”

“I did!”

“Save me as a clown or change it?”

“Yes.”

Lee Minho. Ahh, Jisung is so done with him but he wouldn’t trade their silly banter for anything else in the world. Instead Jisung sighs and lightly shoves at Minho’s shoulder, “I’m growing out of the clown shoes, mind you.”

Minho turns to blink at him blankly. “Clown shoes are pretty big. I’m sure they’ll fit for a while longer.”

Jisung tiredly looks at the wall opposite them as if he’s on a TV show and the wall is an audience. Then he turns to look at Minho again, nodding his head along to his whiny words, “I’m doing my best to be honest here, hyung. Appreciate me a little more, would you?”

“Sure, sure,” Minho waves him off, tone light. His expression is back to his usual soulless pokerface. “Show me your truest colours, Han Jisung.”

Right. Minho doesn’t know what those words spur inside Jisung. “I will,” Jisung firmly says, no space for jokes. “If you let me.”

There’s a quiet ‘ _Mm_ ’ noise from Minho, nothing more. Minho seems to reluctantly sense and accept the change in atmosphere, blinking up at Jisung only to immediately avert his eyes again. Minho blinks and blinks, letting his gaze travel across their surroundings.

Silence. The unusually quiet city becomes background noise. Just a moment.

Where is Jisung supposed to start? At the beginning or right at the conclusion? Maybe in the middle? Tell Minho when he realised first, or when he thinks he must have first started feeling something? Maybe it’s important to mention that Jisung wants Minho to feel the same way. Should Jisung try to be poetic? Or funny? Jisung is sure he could pull some freestyle shit out of his sleeve.

Or maybe he should be quick and simple. Just scream ‘I’m in love with you!’ to watch the consequences tumble from Minho’s lips in turn.

“You’re staring,” Minho mumbles as if he’s annoyed instead of shy, almost inaudible. His right palm comes up to rest on his left shoulder. Eyes meeting Jisung’s for a second and leaving again.

“You don’t like it?” Jisung steps close in front of Minho, trying to get him to make eye contact again. He takes notice of the deepening colour on Minho’s ears.

At that Minho looks up again, this time for two seconds, “That’s not it.” Minho scoffs, head lowering, keeping his already soft voice quiet still. In the rare moments Minho is like this, Jisung feels like it’s his responsibility to react accordingly.

Before it used to be making a joke of the situation and denying the way his heart flutters.

Now it’s letting himself freely feel. The warmth that overcomes his chest at the sight, the smile that tugs at the corners of his lips and the way he can’t take his eyes off Minho. Jisung lets himself be.

“I’m going to say something now,” Jisung decides to put a warning forward, tone gentle. He doesn’t want Minho to misunderstand a thing. He wants to be as honest and as clear as possible. “You have to take me seriously, okay? I’m not joking.”

Now Minho forces himself to meet his eyes, reluctant and careful. “Go ahead. You’re the slow one, dragging this out.”

Taking a deep breath and exhaling it, Jisung readies himself and holds Minho’s gaze.

“Don’t misunderstand me, okay? Being around you just always has me at a loss for words. Or maybe it’s too many words overwhelming me when it comes to you. Sometimes – and I think you don’t know this and that’s okay because it’s not a bad thing – you manage to push at me until something budges. Small things. Big things. _You_ things. _Me_ things. Whether it’s making me realise the truth or wanting to speak it too. It’s a lot so… when I’m with you, it’s hard to find the words to let you hear them. It’s so hard to say it, you don’t even know, hyung. But I really want you to know. Before anyone else, you deserve to hear it the most.”

Minho blinks slow and attentive. Suddenly Jisung can’t read him at all.

“I never stopped you from saying whatever you want to say, Jisung.” _Hyung, you sound so careful and cold. Don’t close off. Let me read you._ “What’s holding you back?”

What a loaded question. Jisung swallows heavily. His throat feels dry. His mouth feels dry.

Jisung tilts his head and licks his lips, breaking eye contact to collect himself properly.

“Fuck, I really don’t know, hyung. Fear? Maybe?” Jisung’s voice shakes with genuine but quiet frustration. Why is this whole love thing so scary and exciting at the same time? “Not that it matters.” Jisung heaves out a long sigh and goes through his dark hair with both hands, settling on the base of his neck. The faint grown-out silver highlights are gone, thanks to the hairdresser Jisung had visited yesterday to look good for today. Just a little trim. Not a big change from before at all. And he put so much thought into styling it today too. Now it's a mess again. A pity. He hopes Minho liked the hairstyle at least.

Jisung meets Minho’s deep brown eyes again – Minho looks so watchful. Felix must have put the faintly sparkling makeup on him. Little red gems at the corners of his sharp eyes. And somehow the eye contact with Minho shakes and grounds him at the same time. “Somehow it’s always you who breaks through everything that holds me back. First you made me acknowledge the truth when I didn’t want to. And I swear after that, I’ve been trying to get myself to not only understand but to say it too. Trying to hype myself up to just tell you but it never worked out. Like my own mouth was against me. Until now. See? It always takes you to offer me a key for the chains I put on myself. I don’t even know if you realise the effect you have on me. It’s just… maybe… you make me want to show you my truest colours too.”

A pause hangs heavy in the air. The air is cold but Jisung feels warm.

Slow, slow, slow. Minho blinks and simply looks into Jisung’s eyes like he’s going to find more there. It makes Jisung wonder why he simply can’t be the shy boy from a few moments ago.

But Jisung can’t back out now. He doesn’t want to. “I… I like… No, that doesn’t quite cut it.” He wants to offer the truth. Breathless, he finds himself chuckling.

“Hm?” A barely audible noise of confusion from Minho. Eyes turning softer as his brows furrow the slightest bit, no less attentive – or maybe more so now. So unsure and soft.

“What I feel for you, Minho hyung, is love.”

A strong breeze comes out of nowhere – blowing through their clothes, the dirt on the street, the bushes and trees. It nudges Jisung closer to Minho whose eyes widen the slightest bit – whether from the confession or the proximity. Jisung feels lighter, warmer and he just lets himself hold Minho’s insecure gaze. No blinking, Minho keeps looking at him like he’s waiting for a cruel punchline.

That’s not a positive reaction. But Jisung doesn’t let himself overthink. There’s no punchline because this isn’t a joke, so he keeps quiet and waits.

“Love?” Minho echoes into the small space between them. And Jisung sees the way Minho’s eyes roam his face for something and Jisung also sees him stop at his lips before he looks down at Jisung’s chest instead. “I wanna act clueless and say ‘As friends, right? Love you too!’” Minho almost drawls out the words like he’s tired, only faking an up-beat tone for that line before he quiets down again, “Do you want me to hold a speech, like you, too? Or is it fine if we just act like this never happened?”

Jisung _feels_ his heart suffer cracks. Genuinely feels every little splinter Minho puts into it. All the comfort turns into a biting cold. But Jisung still feels warm. No, warmer. He _burns_. “What?”

“Speech it is then,” Minho sighs and looks around, like it’s a bother. And Jisung feels his breath hit his own cheek. They’re so close, so fucking close but not touching. Why is Minho always so close and yet so far out of reach? Jisung wants to reach out and close the distance with a kiss. Someday maybe, or in another one of his dreams.

And it’s not like Jisung didn’t think of the possibility of rejection – although honestly, he was shooting for success – but… ‘act like this never happened’? Isn’t that a bit too much? Minho doesn’t even want to take Jisung seriously? Minho doesn’t even want to simply _acknowledge_ Jisung’s feelings? Just wants to be in denial about Jisung’s feelings like Jisung had been for whoever the fuck knows how long before this?

“Yeah. Not gonna lie, that shit hurts, Minho hyung.”

Minho looks up at that. Maybe it’s Jisung’s shakiness but Minho looks genuinely apologetic for a moment before he puts a hand on Jisung’s shoulder, strict like he rarely likes to be. “Jisung, for _literal_ _months_ you were denying even the possibility of feeling anything serious for me. Or even for being serious about anything with me. You fought with Hyunjin about it. All you ever did in that regard was joke with me or about us and got pissed when anything crossed whatever lines you drew up in your head. We both respected those lines and now this? I hate to say it out loud but I’m sure you _platonically_ love me and our friendship. You know, considering everything… I’m not going to believe you suddenly did a one-eighty. Do you think I’m stupid?”

Jisung takes the words in. He has no other choice. They get all jumbled inside his head. “Hyung… _hyung_ , it’s nothing sudden! It’s– It’s just that things. Things changed! I mean _not really_ , but… Fuck!” God, how the hell is Jisung supposed to explain what’s been going on? He doesn’t even know and understand everything himself yet. He can’t even concentrate properly, torn between searching in Minho’s eyes for a shred of understanding and the cold concrete beneath them.

“I can admit something changed,” Minho responds easily, casually even. Like Jisung isn’t going to cry in a second or a minute if this goes on. “But whatever it is, it’s got nothing to do with me. You’re probably just confused. Nothing changed in the way you look at me, Jisung.” And here earnestly looking at Jisung – Jisung who still can’t seem to fully read him – Minho’s voice and expression softens again, so resigned. “You look at me the same way you’ve always done, ever since the moment we met.”

A pause. Something settles in Jisung’s mind. He barely registers when Minho’s hand falls away from his shoulder. He almost forgot it was there. How unusual. Minho sighs, shoulders slumping. Jisung feels guilty for being the reason the night’s victory washed off him.

In the end Minho isn’t really wrong. It all comes back to Jisung now. Memories flooding as he blankly hurries to puzzle the pieces together. Jisung barely remembers the day they met but has Minho’s first smile directed at him saved in his memory in high definition. Out of everything that day, the moments with Minho are the only clear ones.

He barely registers Minho moving away in the direction of the dimly lit entry way of the fried chicken restaurant.

Hilarious. No, really. Screw the stupid grin growing on Jisung’s face.

Nothing changed. Love at first sight? Crush at first sight that escalated into love by friendship? What does their story classify as? Han Jisung, you absolute fucking idiot. Whatever. Why is Minho always the one making Jisung realise the things that are supposed to be obvious and yet so hard for Jisung to reach? Maybe Minho should be this serious more often so Jisung can just skip all the mess whenever he’s confused.

Nothing changed. Han Jisung has been a goner for Lee Minho ever since their eyes met for the first time. This time Minho is the one who’s confusing one thing for another.

“Minho hyung, stop,” Jisung rushes to hold onto his wrist and comes to stand in front of him again. They’re blocking the entrance to the restaurant but whoever wants to go in or out will just have to wait it out. Han Jisung is on a mission and will not be stopped.

He’ll be damned if Minho doesn’t even properly _see_ him.

Jisung feels like he ran a fucking marathon when it’s just, like, 3 meters. “For fuck’s sake, Lee Minho,” Jisung takes both of Minho’s hands into his own – they’re so soft but they’re so cold. Minho blinks at him with wide confused eyes and disbelief at the rude tone. Jisung should get Minho gloves for this weather. “You’re so stupid… And _I’m_ fucking stupid. What the fuck?” Jisung genuinely laughs and Minho looks genuinely worried for him now.

“Ahh, hyung… _Hyung_ , you don’t understand shit. Take me seriously, damn it! Accept me or reject me but I’m seriously fucking over the whole denial thing. Get with the program!”

Minho looks so fucking confused. So dumbfounded and lost. It’s kind of funny – If this weren’t about Jisung’s stupid little heart then Minho’s face would be hilarious. It’s a feat to make someone like Minho lose his words.

So this whole mess started with Jisung, huh? Alright. There’s something boiling inside his veins. He’ll take responsibility. Minho has never been the easy type to crack anyway.

“Jisung… are you–”

“I’m in love with you, you big idiot. I’ll fucking prove it to you.”

* * *

Jeongin feels so awkward. He hasn’t felt this awkward since 6th grade and the start of puberty. Okay, first day of university had been pretty awkward too. Sometimes his hyungs caused some awkward moments in public but even those are something Jeongin has gotten used to. But this is on a different level and the source of awkwardness is, in fact, not Jeongin.

To recap: Of course, the boys had politely let the two lovebirds finish their conversation. Nobody had dared to interrupt Jisung’s heartfelt confession. The confession came as a surprise not only to Minho but all of them in the first place. Considering the way the confession had gone, they feared Jisung would start crying… they were really happy one second and worried the next! But then, somehow, Jisung ended up sounding weirdly angry at the world and then excitedly ready for a fight.

Chan had mumbled something along the lines of “The power of Retro Jisung…” in an eerie voice and nobody understood but somehow they all made the connection that this Retro Jisung must be the same Retro Jisung that had always been ready to fist-fight Hyunjin back at the start of their friendship. Chan had mentioned that Retro Jisung hadn’t had an appearance since their teenage days. Changbin hadn’t commented on that and Felix had been conflicted about how to feel about the situation (“Is my ship sailing or not?” Felix had asked, but nobody understood).

Also, Jeongin is confused. When did Jisung realise he’s in love with Minho? When did he decide to confess? Or did he know all along and simply denied it to everyone else’s faces? Minho doesn’t even believe it, so doesn’t what Minho said count as a rejection either way? What is going on?

Of course, Jisung and Minho are still unaware that they – Chan, Felix, Changbin and Jeongin – had eavesdropped on their private conversation. The four of them had agreed to keep it between them. Minho and Jisung had gone inside first once their conversation found an awkward ending. Jeongin suspects it was only awkward for Minho (and them) since Jisung sounded self-assured as hell. So their little team had waited a minute longer outside before they had gone inside like nothing happened too, finding Minho and Jisung sitting at a corner table.

So here they are now.

Everyone sits on the floor at the low table with a pillow under their butts and have even ordered already, just waiting for their food. But even ordering food was awkward. Entering the store was awkward. And the silence, after their greeting, between all six of them at the table is awkward. Felix keeps glancing pleadingly at Chan to do something about it, but Chan still looks like he’s seen a ghost. Jeongin, sitting next to Felix, nibbles on some kimchi salad the old lady, owner of the family-led restaurant, put on the table a minute ago.

The ones who definitely stand out the most here are Minho, Jisung and Changbin. Jisung has a smile on his face. A weird one. Jeongin has only seen it once last week when Jisung had silently arrived back at their dorm, wearing bunny pyjamas that had cute letters reading ‘bun bun bun to sleep!’ on them. Apparently, those were Minho’s. This smile is a little worse though because it looks strangely… ready? for something… instead of panicked like last week’s. On the other hand, Changbin looks out of it. Unusually silent in this setting. No loud talking, no whining, no acting cute, and no jokes. That’s scary.

Where the hell is Kim Seungmin when you need him? Seungmin could hug Changbin into a happy mood again! Throw in Hwang Hyunjin too! Make him fight Jisung back to normal again!

Oh, and Minho. Minho sits between the two. Just like Jeongin, he nibbles on a chopstick-full of kimchi salad. He looks uncomfortable and frowns like he has a headache. From time to time he glances at Jisung and when Jisung catches him look and winks at him, Minho blankly averts his rapidly blinking eyes.

“I can’t stand this,” Chan breaks the silence in a grave tone, looking at Changbin, “I told you Retro Jisung is back and you knew too!” Then he gives everyone, except Jisung, a disappointed look too, “I told all of you.” Then he stares down at his lap with a pout. “I don’t even know if I’m supposed to be happy or worried now.”

Changbin barely acknowledges him with a look before he’s back to staring at the table with that intimidating aura. It’s rare to see Changbin like this with them. Honestly. Where has their cute hyung gone? (Don’t tell anyone that Jeongin called Changbin cute.)

“Forget whatever Retro Jisung is. This is Dark Changbin...!” Felix stage-whispers and lightly taps Chan’s arm multiple times, eyes on Changbin like he’s seeing a horror movie come life. Jisung is completely unbothered on his side of the table, just minding his own business and tapping away at his smartphone.

Minho checks on everyone with a look before he meets eyes with Jeongin and holds it. Jeongin swallows the kimchi salad and Minho does the same. Both put their chopsticks down.

Minho meaningfully blinks twice.

Resolutely, Jeongin nods.

“Let me tell you something! Hyunjin hyung was the one who ate Chan hyung’s last two ramen packs, secretly borrowed Changbin hyung’s apartment key necklace and gave the keys to Seungmin hyung,” In his mind Jeongin immediately apologises for throwing Hyunjin under the bus, especially since he’s not present and missing out on a lot. But emergencies are emergencies. “Seungminnie hyung doesn’t know it’s Changbin hyung’s key yet. Hyunjin hyung got his driver’s license on Monday, didn’t tell anyone and took Chan hyung’s keys and then his car the same night at 2am to impress Seungmin hyung. He brought the car keys back that same night.” Jeongin catches his breath, all eyes on him. Even the old restaurant lady, who has just arrived to bring their food, listens in. How long is this place open anyway?

Chan looks betrayed. Felix sips his glass of water with innocent interest. Changbin’s jaw has dropped open slightly, “That's where my key went...?” Obviously Jisung looks impressed – he’ll probably high-five Hyunjin for all that later. And Minho gives Jeongin a proud smile and a quick secret thumbs up with a nod. Great job breaking the awkwardness, Jeongin!

“ _Well_ , was that Seungmin person impressed by Hyunjin person’s actions?” the old lady presses curiously, adjusting her glasses on her nose and putting down the last of their ordered food down on the table. Ahh, nice.

“Nope!” Jeongin grins, remembering Hyunjin had whined to him the following Tuesday, “Seungmin hyung wanted to sleep so he never even met Hyunjin hyung that night besides a quick phone call. Hyunjin hyung went home sulking.”

The old lady leaves with a disappointed shrug, disappearing behind the door by the counter. On the other side of the table Jisung turns to Minho, who reluctantly meets his eyes at the expectant stare. “Hey,” Jisung tilts his head at Minho with a small grin, “Would you be impressed if I stole Chan hyung’s car and drove you around?”

“You don’t even have a driver’s license,” Minho side eyes him before he makes the first grab for fried chicken and fills his mouth with food to end the conversation.

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“I have a driver’s license and a motorcycle license.”

They all collectively look at Changbin. “That’s hot,” Felix and Minho say at the same time and then exchange smug smirks with each other, visibly communicating that they’re satisfied with their shared taste.

Chan smacks his car keys on the table, “I forgot about that. Why am I always driving!?”

“I don’t have a car and I don’t like driving,” Changbin explains plainly, sipping his water. “And my motorcycle is at my parents’ house.”

“Can I borrow it?” Jisung leans forward so he can look over Minho at Changbin.

Changbin barely glances at him. Something is off about him. “No, what for?”

Jisung puts an arm around Minho’s shoulders and pulls him close, looking Minho straight in the eye, completely ignoring Minho’s busy full mouth. “I have plans to be sexy,” Jisung replies in a suspiciously low tone and Jeongin wonders if he’s genuinely trying to secude their Sexy Dance Icon Lee Know. Low voices are more Felix’s thing anyway.

Honestly, Jeongin knew this was going to happen. Like, Jisung realising he’s been in love this entire time and then going apeshit over it. Doesn’t this night prove it? Points for Jeongin, please.

Minho simply averts his eyes and heavily exhales through his nose as he keeps chewing. Once he swallows, he doesn’t even wait a second before he stuffs his mouth with another bite of fried chicken, one chicken leg in both hands. Just like Chan, but that’s normal for Chan.

“Are you seriously stress-eating right now?” Jisung whines and gently shakes Minho once with the arm around him, and Minho just keeps munching with a deep frown. Jisung sighs like he’s just dealing with a moody kid instead of a frowny Minho, which is something to be more careful about. Jeongin would know. He’s heard from Hyunjin.

The table quietly concentrates on finishing the fried chicken. A bit of banter here and there to let the atmosphere blend into something comfortable again.

Jeongin kind of wants to ask, either Minho or Jisung, about a list of things he’s curious about. But how does one do that without exposing himself and his friends for eavesdropping on a private conversation? Mostly he’s interested in Jisung’s love realisation. Not to forget the fact that Minho doesn’t believe in Jisung’s feelings like everyone and their moms weren’t on their asses about it for their entire friendship. But Jeongin can give Minho a pass for that because his reasoning for that also made sense. Jeongin wouldn’t believe it if he were in Minho’s shoes either… but what Jeongin can’t grasp yet is what kind of feelings Minho exactly has for Jisung? Sure, Jeongin still believes Minho and Jisung have something mutually special. But that doesn’t have to automatically be something romantic too.

Maybe Minho feels for Jisung what Jeongin feels for Seungmin. Jeongin wants to gag at the following thoughts and prays that nobody is a mind reader. It’s something he doesn’t like to be showy about or tell people, but Seungmin is on his mind a lot and very precious to him like nobody else. Sure, he loves the rest of their big friend group too but Seungmin has a special place in his heart somehow. As much as they bicker and bother each other for fun; by now that just has to classify as their personal love language because Jeongin feels genuine love for Seungmin. Jeongin is very much aware of that – only since recently though, thanks to the theatre course that (to Jeongin’s surprise) paired them up for their chemistry.

Maybe Jeongin is too young and inexperienced to know whether it’s romantic or platonic but what he does know is that he doesn’t want to change anything about their existing dynamic. Jeongin doesn’t want to date Seungmin and he’d probably be fine if they dated other people, but only as long as they stay close.

Maybe Minho is a little like Jeongin in that sense. Maybe, but Jeongin doesn’t really know. Does Minho himself even know?

“This was supposed to be a celebration… and I’m not saying the mood is bad but… it’s definitely weird now,” Felix sighs, once all the plates have been emptied. “Changbin hyung, will you also pay for alcohol? We need to loosen the mood more for celebration.”

“You don’t even drink, especially if it's not something fancy and fruity, ‘Lix,” Changbin leans back on his propped-up arms behind him, looking around the restaurant boredly.

Felix rolls his eyes, deep voice English, “ _Aight, mate_.”

“I will drink,” Minho offers, turning to bankly look at Changbin.

Changbin meets his eyes. A squint later, he looks at Minho’s lips for two whole seconds before he looks up into his eyes again. The eye contact stays strong for a moment longer and Jeongin checks whether anyone else notices the weird tension, but no. It’s just Jeongin witnessing this. Chan is busy putting the empty plates together for easier clean up, Felix is staring at the cold drinks through the glass of the refrigerator in the corner and Jisung is busy trying to do origami with a napkin.

Then Changbin points at Minho’s mouth, “You have a bit of chicken crust on the corner of your lips.” And then simply turns away. The tension is gone in the blink of an eye as Minho wipes it away and then looks at his hand as he licks it off.

 _Gross._ Guess Jeongin just imagined the tension then. Must be the aftereffects of this mess of a night.

“So, are we getting alcohol or not?” Jisung asks into the round and leaning his side against the wall next to him.

“You can’t even hold your liquor, Jisung,” Chan shakes his head. “We don’t need alcohol to have fun anyway.” That’s a very Chan-thing to say. Jeongin wants to say ‘who genuinely drinks alcohol for fun, it tastes like piss and makes you stink’ but he honestly doesn’t have the energy to say that and start a whole discussion about the existence of cocktails like last time. As if Felix heard his thoughts he raises his glass of plain water high in the air as a toast before he gulps it as if it’s just a very big shot glass.

How does Felix manage to look drunk while being completely sober? There are tiny silver stars on his cheeks between all the freckles. He’s very pretty in his fancy outfit, sparkly eye makeup, styled blond hair and all that, even if a bit mussed from the performance and dried sweat. Just like Minho across from him. 

Jeongin wonders what they look like as a group: four vaguely smart-casual dressed guys at a table with two very fancy flower boys between them. Jeongin scrunches his nose up at that trail of thought fast.

“Okay, guys, I have a great conversation topic to bring the energy back,” Jisung exclaims and straightens up in his seat as he moves his hands to motion along. Jeongin immediately pays attention to a hopefully interesting change. Jisung continues, satisfied with everyone’s full attention, “How do you make someone realise you’re in love with them? But! Here’s the catch: You already confessed very directly.”

Oh damn. Felix chokes on his drink, not having managed to finish it so quickly and Chan immediately tends to him and rubs his back worriedly. While Felix gets into a coughing fit, Changbin rolls his eyes at the side. Minho narrows his eyes at Jisung disapprovingly, “You really wanna do this right now?”

“Yeah, what about it?” Jisung raises his brows challengingly at Minho, “Got any answers for me, hyung-nim?”

“I have an answer!” a new voice, intimidatingly raspy and suspiciously deep, announces. Jeongin feels proud for not flinching at the tall man who somehow managed to approach their table unnoticed. There’s an apron, very much like the old lady from before had, tied around his hips. Plus a sleeveless shirt? Damn, look at those arms and shoulders. This man is _build_ build! But the smile on his face reminds Jeongin of a sweet Labrador.

Jisung looks expectant and miffed by the pause, “Well? Let me hear it, big guy!”

Chan frowns at the rude tone and whisper-yells over the table, “Tone your ego down, Jisung!” And then smiling at the waiter (?) and going full English, “ _Hey Matthew_ hyung _, didn’t know you work here. You should’ve told me on the ski trip that you live this close to us!_ ”

“ _I didn’t think I’d meet you again here of all places, Channie! But yeah, this is my grandma’s place._ ” Matthew (how does Chan keep befriending new people?) replies proudly before he turns to Jisung with that sweet smile of his, “And to your question: everyone shows love differently, so if you really love them, just be honest about it! I’m sure they’ll understand.”

“That’s literally what I’m trying to do. Not helpful, man,” Jisung deflates in his seat with annoyance.

Jeongin definitely sees Jisung’s lips jut out as he watches Minho speak up, “Okay, Matthew-sshi, how about this. Your friend of, like, three years or something suddenly confessed their apparent love to you after denying it very hard since forever? Would you believe something so stupid when it’s clear you’re just their gay awakening?”

Oh gosh, this is going terribly… terribly _interesting_. “My–My gay awakening?” Jisung gapes, flustered and blushing like a fire hydrant in London with wide eyes of shock.

“I mean… uh… that’s…”

“Okay, get this: what if your friend is in love with you _and_ you’re their gay awakening, huh? Is that not possible?” Jisung, as red-faced as he is, lowkey starts to look like he’s partaking in a rap battle now. Jeongin had witnessed that a few times before.

“After three years?! Overnight?!” Minho asks in absolute disbelief.

“ _No_ , I’ve been in love with you the entire time! I was in major denial! You didn’t notice because I’m good at hiding my feelings!” Jisung defends himself, hands gesturing widely and practically vibrating in his seat.

No, you’re not good at that at all. But keep doing you, Jisung. Jeongin sighs. Changbin stays calm and attentive while Chan is grimacing at the dramatics and Felix massages his sore throat, still listening carefully.

“Can we all just calm down…” Matthew gently tries and holds up his hands to gesture pleadingly.

Jisung and Minho groan at the same time and back off, obeying the restaurant owner’s grandson. Then they look at each other. Everyone holds their breath. Someone cut the tension with a knife so they can act like it’s cake instead… please?

Minho looks like he’s still got something to say. Leave it to Jisung to easily pull Minho's more serious thoughts and emotions out into the open.

“You don’t have to be good at hiding something you don’t have in the first place.” Minho says with an air of finality and finally averts his eyes, making himself smaller as he stares at the table. His eyes are shiny with… wait, are they watering?

It’s hard to pay attention to everything going on and properly interpret it too!

(Really, where are Seungmin and Hyunjin when you need them?!)

In an instant the fire in Jisung’s eyes dies down. “Hyung…” Jisung quietly calls out, reaching out and gently taking Minho’s hand in his, taking it into his own lap as he cradles it. He looks like he’s going to cry before Minho even starts. “Minho hyung. That’s not how it is, I promise. I’ll prove it to you, okay? I wasn’t aware of how much in denial I was in, so now that I know what I feel– what I’ve felt all this time, I will treasure what we have just like before. Just, _more_. Way more.”

In hindsight Jeongin believes that Jisung genuinely doesn’t give a shit if they witness their private moments at this point. Hyunjin would pay money to see them like this instead of the denial stuff from before.

Jisung and Minho simply create their own bubble and stay in it. How do they fit and understand each other so well, yet end up in a situation like this? Does love make everyone stupid?

“I really just came here to tell you guys that we’re closing since it’s really late and my granny only kept the shop open for this long because she said she heard a romantic confession happening outside. So like, for the tea. But I’m glad you two are, like, communicating your feelings and shit. Honesty is key. Communication is key.” Matthew reminds them of his presence, carefully cheery – a little awkwardly, too, maybe but that’s understandable. “All six of you, adorable, really. But I sense a lot I don’t want to be involved in. So yeah, anyway, I really need to close the shop down? Okay?”

“Sure,” Chan is the first to get up, looking like a tired parent. “I’ll pay. I sense the same shit.”

Right. Changbin wanted to pay but when Jeongin looks over, Changbin has his chin propped up on his palm on the table, absent-mindedly watching Jisung’s hands connected to one of Minho’s. Minho is looking there too, expression unreadably blank, and Jisung is earnestly looking at Minho. Minho’s hand is still in Jisung’s lap, gently cradled like it’s something fragile to warm up.

And Jeongin thinks he gets it now.

“I can’t deal with serious stuff like this very well,” Minho mutters under his breath but they all, except Chan and Matthew at the counter, hear him. Then he takes his hand away from Jisung’s grasp – Jisung who still has that worried look on his face – and whines quietly, a smile forming on his lips that he obviously tries to repress, keeping his head down. “I feel so embarrassed now… Buhuu…” Ah, Minho actually looks cute now, trying to lighten up the mood with his ears glowing red.

Jisung blinks in surprise. Even Jeongin and Felix are surprised but hey, Minho is weird – of course, he’ll laugh about this whole scene in the end.

“No need,” Changbin smiles lightly, properly looking at Minho now, chin still comfortably in his palm. “You’re cute like that.”

Minho throws his head back in genuine laughter – the loud high-pitched kind. That makes Jisung grin and give Changbin a grateful look which Jeongin isn’t sure Changbin even sees because in the next moment both of them are looking at Minho.

Minho who still has a grin on his face when he gets up, grabbing his and Chan's coats on the way, and joins Chan and Matthew. Now at the door, they're waiting for them all to leave and Minho acts like he definitely isn’t still the center of attention. From next to Jeongin, Felix heaves a sigh of relief and grins brightly before following Minho quickly, looking like an excited little chick with the way he bounces after Minho.

It takes a moment before the rest of them finally get up. Then they finally make their way home.

Damn, Jeongin thinks, they’re all so fucking weird. He can't even pin this on Minho alone. What the hell is going on? This is a mess.

(Chan’s car can take a maximum of four people – minus the driver – or five if they stretch it and break the law. So Chan straight up shoves Minho, Felix and Jeongin in his car before telling Changbin and Jisung to have fun on their way home – all with a knowing smile on his face. Nobody should go home alone at this time.

Apparently Jeongin will be taken to their apartment to sleepover. Felix and Jisung are invited too.

“Take care. Just safely come back home to us, you two fools.”

With that they all wave the appalled pair of Changbin and Jisung goodbye.

Finally, Chan drives off.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#6.12. P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Yang Jeongin  
>  **Occupation:** Educational Science (1st Semester)  
>  **Other (2) :** thinks sweaty Hyunjin and buff people are sexy, can either be very accurate or very clueless about reading other people's emotions, the only real life romance he keeps tabs on are Jisung's crush on Minho and his friend Yedam's crush on Hyunjin, uses his cuteness to his advantage sometimes
> 
> * * *
> 
> have you noticed anything? think you understand someone/something better now? where does this lead us?  
> ...haha. i hope you enjoyed this lengthy chapter! it's really packed, not just with words, but content and meaning. thank you for every kudo and especially every comment!! it means a lot to me to hear what you think! ♥  
> so as always: i'd really love to read your thoughts in the comments! ☆
> 
> happy belated chuseok and happy belated birthday to chan! also, let's keep it up with streaming and voting, stay! ♥


	13. Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe the problem is not the plan but the one who makes it.

For the first time ever Hwang Hyunjin is awake before Kim Seungmin is. And that, without any schedule or alarm to make it happen. It’s still early, as the smartphone tells him. 6:22. The curtains are left open and through the foggy window glass, Hyunjin sees the beginning of dawn over their little apartment district. The view isn’t much since it’s only the third floor but that’s not what makes the here and now so beautiful. Maybe Hyunjin would start his days earlier more often if this is the view to greet him.

Honestly it's nothing new. Just a little different from all the times before.

Next to Hyunjin in the bed, Seungmin is tangled up in the sheets. He’ll probably wake up by maybe eight o’clock. He lays there on his stomach, his face buried in the pillow he hugs in his sleep. Hair in absolute disarray. His cheek squished against the pillow looks so cute. Very different from how Seungmin usually is. Right now, he looks so soft, peaceful and… vulnerable? The usually put-together and organised Kim Seungmin is a messy sleeper. Although everyone probably is, more or less.

From his sat-up position, blanket around his hips, Hyunjin lets his hand lightly graze the back of Seungmin’s white pyjama t-shirt, near his neck. He doesn’t feel so brave doing it. More like a dreamer who wants to make sure whatever good thing going on is real. Seungmin doesn’t budge, even when Hyunjin leans over and pulls a little at the collar of his t-shirt. There it is: a single spot of purple proof. What happened last night is part of reality.

Hyunjin’s lips tug into a smile and he takes his hand away. He whispers the words to allow Seungmin his sleep, “You’re so cute, Seungminnie. Sweet dreams.”

Seungmin radiates pure peacefulness and Hyunjin just wants to stay by his side. Make sure Seungmin can always find an easy slumber like this. He’s been so stressed lately, what with the exams, assignments and extra courses like the theatre course and thoughts about the future. The stress on his shoulders was obvious, especially to Hyunjin and Felix who naturally took care of him together. Seungmin just pushes himself too hard sometimes, so Hyunjin is grateful for the here and now. Seungmin should rest and wake up with less weight to carry around.

Seungmin stirs. And then his eyelashes flutter as he wakes up, sleepy gaze immediately travelling up to the face of the boy next to him. A lazy little grin stretches across his lips once their eyes meet, “You’re already awake? That’s a first…” He yawns, burying his face back into the pillow for it before sitting up and back on his knees beside Hyunjin, blanket falling off his back.

“Waking up to your sleeping face is nothing I wanna miss out on,” Hyunjin gives him a grin back and puts a hand on Seungmin’s knee to gently trace his thumb up and down the material of his flannel pyjama pants.

Seungmin laughs at that, playfully moving his face a little closer but looking genuinely curious, “Nice try, but this isn’t the first time we share a bed, Hyunjin. Anything on your mind?”

“Just excited for more kisses,” Hyunjin whispers, maybe too seriously as he holds their eye contact.

Face falling into surprise, Seungmin’s mouth drops open a little before he licks his lips. “What are you waiting for then? Kiss me, Hyunjin.”

 _Kiss me, Hyunjin._ Hyunjin’s heart beats crazily in his chest at the words he used to only dream about. He leans forward, gladly cupping Seungmin’s face with a gentle hand and presses their lips together. A kiss in the morning shouldn’t be something Hyunjin nor Seungmin should enjoy the taste of and yet, here they are, deepening it and savouring the moment.

“This is fun,” Hyunjin whispers between their lips.

He feels Seungmin’s smile against his own and Seungmin’s cheeks becoming warmer, “It is. I like kissing you.”

There’s more Hyunjin knows about Seungmin. Last night he has learned a few new things too. Like the fact that Seungmin is a good kisser who, once the first step is made, easily loses his shyness. Last night a win meant confessing. No room for interpretation. A sign for direct honesty.

Putting your deepest feelings into coherent words can be harder than showing them.

Hyunjin learned a lot last night.

* * *

Last night… once Hyunjin and Seungmin had gotten out the taxi, Hyunjin asked Seungmin for a moment before he could put in his keys in the lock to open the building’s entrance. The night was dark and cold, but Hyunjin felt like the streetlamps and the warmth between them made it all bearable. Romantic even.

“Seungmin,” Hyunjin said with a small smile, buzzing with the afterglow of victory and a tiny bit of fear of the upcoming possibilities. In the cold their breaths were the tiniest bit visible. Hyunjin started all proper, “Although I feel like I’ve been very clear on where I stand, I have decided to be officially straightforward with you tonight.”

Seungmin didn’t say anything, just patiently waited for Hyunjin to continue, giving him his full attention. And Hyunjin could clearly see that Seungmin had no idea what Hyunjin could be talking about. Just attentive and helpful as always, Seungmin probably thought that Hyunjin wanted to be held again. (And yeah, sure, true. But not for platonic comfort. Romantically instead.)

With the words bottling up one after another as if they couldn’t wait to get out, Hyunjin felt his throat constrict multiple times. A jumbled mess. The fear of rejection is evident after all. “I like– I’m like… I'm in… I… You know, right? Like… what, uh, what I mean?” Hyunjin felt sweat and heat on his skin. Planning a confession is way easier than actually doing it. Why were the words stuck in his throat now?

Damn it!

Seungmin – bless his heart – simply tilted his head a few times in thought, trying to figure Hyunjin out. He’s always reminded Hyunjin a bit of a puppy. Understanding dawned on his face, “ _Oh_. Yes. Of course I know. That much is obvious.”

“Oh, thank God.” Hyunjin held a hand to his beating heart. So Seungmin was aware of Hyunjin’s feelings after all. Of course, Seungmin knows him so well and Hyunjin has always been honest and blunt. It really is obvious, isn’t it? It’s so hard to properly say it out loud all of a sudden though.

Maybe because this is the real deal.

Hyunjin felt a weight leave his heart and he continued, still a little shaky but determined to go through with this as best as he can. “I really wanted to confess this to you tonight!” Hyunjin accidently blurts a little too loudly maybe. His cheeks burst with colour. “You… You’re so important to me, Seungmin. And I just. I…”

Unlike Hyunjin, nervous and hot – he has always been the type to easily heat up, what is he a furnace? – Seungmin looked calm and, wow, amused even. “Oh yeah, you’re important to me too. I get it, don’t worry. I’m the same, obviously.” Seungmin playfully punched his shoulder and then put his hands in his coat pockets, smiling sweetly at Hyunjin’s wide-eyed reaction.

How did Seungmin read him so easily? Must be the power of love.

Hyunjin hadn’t even gotten to fully finish the love confession yet. Seungmin really beat him to it. No way, Seungmin felt the same?! Seungmin was in love with Hyunjin too? That’s the best outcome anyone could imagine! Hyunjin could already hear the wedding bells and choirs in his head.

Cloud nine, Hyunjin and Seungmin were finally going to be an item!

Excitedly, Hyunjin stepped closer. Eyes lingering on Seungmin’s lips before looking up again, “Does that mean I can kiss you?”

“Oh, of– of course,” Seungmin answered, a little taken aback and cheeks turning a pretty pink. And as anyone could imagine, Hyunjin wasn’t going to wait any longer. He gently cupped Seungmin’s soft cheeks and gazes deeply locked – just to make sure this is _real_ – before closing his eyes and leaning forward.

It was a peck, really. When Hyunjin detached, he grinned brightly and Seungmin smiled, looking at his lips and then up at him again as if asking for permission. Asking for more. So Hyunjin answered by kissing him again. Just an innocent press of puckered lips.

Surprisingly, Seungmin was the one to deepen the kiss and wrap his arms around Hyunjin. A pleasant development of things. Seungmin pushed him against the apartment building’s entrance – Hyunjin groaned because that was very unexpected and very _hot_. But hey, Hyunjin wanted this since forever and while he genuinely didn’t think they’d move this quick; he wasn’t going to waste the opportunity.

In the next moment he switched their positions, held Seungmin by his waist – oh, it’s so tiny – and pressed him against the wall next to the building’s entrance. Wet tongues gliding against each other and Hyunjin’s mind fell into a haze.

Their kisses were so messy with spit and inexperience but _so_ long overdue.

“ _Hyunjin_ ,” Seungmin broke off the kiss and laughed quietly, trying to catch his breath. Hearing his name come from Seungmin like this, Hyunjin felt himself lose his mind a little.

While he let Seungmin take a break, he trailed wet kisses down his jaw and neck. His unblemished skin, so pretty and untouched. “Can I leave a mark, Minnie?” Hyunjin breathed against his neck and felt Seungmin shiver under him. Hyunjin really couldn’t believe his luck.

Seungmin sounded so out of breath – all because of Hyunjin. “One is fine.” Then, “I think you’re a good kisser, Hyunjin. And really hot.”

Hyunjin felt his heart accelerate ten times at the praise and huffed out a laugh, “So are you, especially after I mark you up.” He wouldn’t complain or waste time about the one hickey rule, latching onto Seungmin’s neck. Seungmin’s skin was so soft, warm, and tasted of a mixture of honey and salt.

“ _Ah_ ,” Seungmin breathed out quietly and then another sweet sound, but muffled. “ _Mhh_.” He was probably muffling his noises with his hand. That’s so cute. His noises were so hot. Burning, Hyunjin felt drunk on him. Sucking and licking at his chosen spot. He just wanted to make sure to leave something that both of them could remember tonight by, at least for the next morning.

“Hey, hey, I said one,” Seungmin grabbed him by the back of his head when Hyunjin absentmindedly let his lips travel. Fingers fisted in his hair, Seungmin pulled him away from his neck to meet eyes. Hyunjin wasn’t sure how messy he himself looked, but Seungmin looked absolutely divine. Pupils blown wide, skin flushed and a purple memory on his neck.

“When did you realise you felt this way, Seungminnie?” Hyunjin couldn’t really help tightening his grip on Seungmin’s waist and Seungmin didn’t let go of his hair either. Just how much time had they wasted tiptoeing around each other’s feelings if they could have done this stuff way sooner?

“You really want me to tell you that now?” Seungmin asked with an amused an eyeroll. “It’s Minho hyung.”

What?

…

Huh? Minho hyung?

“Don’t look at me like that,” Seungmin scoffed, still smiling as he let Hyunjin’s hair go and pushed him away a little to pull his keys out of his pockets again. The heat between them may be leaving but their bodies are still warm and their skin still flushed. “You look so surprised, tsk, as if you don’t know how he can be. He’s really attractive…” Seungmin trailed off, like it was obvious but he felt a little shy about it now.

“What– What do you mean it’s Minho hyung?” Hyunjin’s mouth was basically salivating a moment ago but now his throat seemed to dry up. Even the coldness of the night caught up to him. His brain could barely catch up with interpreting the situation correctly.

“You really want the whole story?” Seungmin sighed but looked more fond than annoyed as he pushed the entrance open. Hyunjin followed him, mind barely present. He felt a little hurt. But he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel, honestly. He was just so confused. “Look,” Seungmin continued, finding Hyunjin’s confused state funny as they walked up the stairs, “You remember how sweet and shy Minho hyung used to be at the beginning of our friendship? He was so cute but when he got more confident around us, he teased me endlessly. Now even more. But it’s fun to fluster him too from time to time. Sometimes I feel like we’re a divorced couple, seriously.” Seungmin let out a small chuckle.

Oh, they were already at the apartment door. Third floor. Last door at the end of the hall. Hyunjin shoots a quick text to Felix but doesn’t quite see what he types in, mind far too occupied with the topic at hand.

Again, Seungmin opened the door with his keys, casually continuing his story, “And we had this kissy phase, right? When we tried to jokingly kiss each other but not really? I had never tried it on Minho hyung, because I felt like he was too intimidating. You know, like out of another dimension entirely. Maybe that should have been the first indicator… Anyway. We were hanging out once, I don’t remember what we were doing but I was trying to annoy Jeongin with fake kisses. Like usual, he kept trying to get away, so I pushed him against the wall anime-style. It was fun for us, all part of the joke to bug each other.”

“Anime-style…” Hyunjin repeated, brain working a mile a minute, taking his shoes off too and putting them neatly beside Seungmin’s shoes. Entering the apartment further, Hyunjin vaguely remembered what day Seungmin was talking about, that they had been in the hyung-line apartment and that particular scene too even. A tiny memory amid many.

 _Kabedon_.

But where did Minho fit in?

“So, Minho hyung suddenly appeared beside us and was like ‘You have to make his heart flutter. Like this’ and the next second, he had me pushed up against the wall and caged in,” Seungmin turned around with squinted eyes and a smile behind a mask of disgust, “Boom, instant boner. I had a really weird crush on Minho hyung for about an entire month… Or two. I don’t want to remember. It resurfaced a few times after, too, but it’s probably died down for sure after so long. Considering everything, it’s only logical.”

Hyunjin had never heard Seungmin say the word boner before. They had talked about literally anything else except those topics. Hyunjin felt his brain overflow with the information. So, at some point, Minho had had Seungmin wrapped around his little finger. Multiple times. Seungmin had a crush– no, a resurfacing little crush on _Minho_ of all people. And Hyunjin hadn’t even known a thing.

Honestly, he felt a little stupid. A little very stupid. And maybe it hurt a little very bit too.

But what did Minho have to do with Hyunjin and Seungmin liking each other?

“Anyway, long story short: Thanks to Minho hyung, I realised that I am actually very gay,” Seungmin took Hyunjin’s hand, looking down at them.

Wait. Seungmin took Hyunjin’s hand!

Wait. Gay?

“ _Oh._ ” Hyunjin sounded so dumb, holy shit. He had completely misunderstood the situation, hadn’t he? His brain and heart had a hard time deciding how to act so his face and voice just stayed neutral. “So that’s what you meant. You didn’t– You meant you were gay like me. Not– uh, so you and I are–” _Not dating apparently._ “– the same. As in we’re gay.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty clear…?” Seungmin nodded slowly, a little suspicious of his weird behaviour before another thought seemed to show up in his mind, “Felix might really be onto something with calling Minho hyung a heartthrob.” Then he shrugged and looked up, a little shy smile but steady words, “Now onto more important matters… can we kiss some more? I wanted to do something like this for so long.”

“Like, for fun?” Hyunjin gulped, feeling his body heat up. Why would they even kiss if they're not dating?

This love confession wasn’t mutual… but Seungmin was so cute, how could Hyunjin possibly deny him? Hyunjin thought about his confession. And how maybe he should have interrupted Seungmin before and just tell him that he’s got a huge crush on him. Not out of thirst, not out of friendship but romantically. Since forever. Despite being a stuttering sweaty mess, maybe he should have clarified what he had been talking about in the first place. Instead he had bet on Seungmin reading his thoughts – which wasn’t fair to expect of Seungmin either. Maybe Hyunjin should have done a lot of things differently instead of whatever nervous gibberish had brought him here.

Seungmin let go of his hands to take his own coat off before moving to take off Hyunjin’s. Hyunjin let him, following him with his eyes, easily captivated.

“Hm, sure, let’s have fun,” Seungmin quietly said, coming to stand in front of him again after he left the coats on the couch, eyes raking over where his hands ghosted over Hyunjin. Hyunjin never would have imagined Seungmin to be the type of person to do these types of things for mindless fun. “You look really pretty in red silk, you know. Sorry I’m telling you so late.” His hands travelled Hyunjin’s chest, which was clad in a red silk button down – just like the rest of their dance team tonight. Right, where are the others right now anyway? Was Felix going to come back to the apartment tonight?

Seungmin pecks his lips and smiles sweetly, with surprising but not unwelcome confidence, at Hyunjin’s flustered expression. “Let’s kiss some more, Hyunie. Just for fun.”

“Kissing. Just for fun,” Hyunjin repeated, breath thin and heart thundering in his ribcage. But for him, this wasn’t just fun. He was in love with Seungmin. And yet he went and agreed to kiss each other for fun. That hurt.

And felt so good at the same time. Stupid Hyunjin.

He couldn’t even properly complain about it because he enjoyed their kisses way too much. Only kissing, a little touching. Nothing more. Hyunjin had not dared to utter anything near love to stop this but filled each of his touches with it instead.

Maybe Seungmin would understand.

* * *

“So that’s what happened.” Thoughtful and empathic little Felix, sitting there with whatever sugary pink beverage he had bought at the campus café before and is now technically not allowed to drink in the library. Hyunjin had just finished telling his friends a shorter and slightly modified version of last night and this morning too – basically, no mention of of Minho (yet) and only little details on the (absolutely awesome) kissing sessions. “I’m shocked to hear Seungmin is a friends-with-benefits type of guy but then again, it makes sense that he’d choose you for his, uh, needs. You’re an attractive friend he trusts very much, so… that’s a good thing?”

“Everything’s a mess,” Jeongin sulks in his seat, “I don’t have the brain capacity to deal with this much without any breaks.”

Hyunjin shrugs, looking around their little spot in the campus library – this is the so called Red Library (but there is no red on the building except the red border of the blackboard outside of it) – and thinks whoever designed the place must have wanted to be creative in a futuristic sense. There are pillars in between the bookshelves, holding up the third floor which you can see from their little corner of the second floor since it’s half open like a huge balcony up there. The pillars are white, engraved with (probably) important names and dates in each section of topic the books belong to. But the weird colourful sitting pillows all around the place at random intervals and the famous quotes on the ceiling are a mess of colours, letters and positions.

It must have been a good idea in theory, but the execution is a mess.

Just like Hyunjin’s love life.

Speaking of, Seungmin is also here. But he left the table like 10 minutes ago to look for a few books which is the only reason Hyunjin has chosen to disclose his experience of last night right now.

“I, for one, think you’re on the right track,” Jisung nudges him from the side with his elbow. It’s supposed to be encouraging but Hyunjin just feels salt thrown into his wounds. “You can feel the guy of your dreams up whenever you want. Weird order of things but you scored his body, so his heart will surely follow.”

Hyunjin pulls a grimace at the cheesy words but finds himself considering them anyway. “Maybe,” he sighs, rubbing his forehead. There’s a lot going on behind it. “I feel like I never made any indicators of being only horny for Seungmin though… I am, you know, out in the open about being in love with him?”

“Oh, you are,” Felix says immediately, face serious.

“Then how…!” Collapsing on the table in a dramatic but very necessary fashion, Hyunjin just feels lost. “Shit, kissing him feels so amazing, you can’t even imagine. But I know it’s the worst idea to become friends with benefits when it’s clearly not friendly at all from your side! Right? Why the hell didn’t I put a stop to it?”

“Feisty,” Jisung comments, “You should have just been clear right from the beginning. Then you wouldn’t even be in this situation.”

“Oh wow, thanks, Captain Obvious.”

Probably trying to save Jisung from possibly getting murdered by Hyunjin, Felix slurps loudly on his pink drink and then clears his throat with a toothy grin. Jeongin is already cringing next to him, in fear of what brain-damaging topic is next. “Before you shut the topic down, what’s Minho hyung got to do with anything? You texted me last night that he sabotaged your confession, but from what you just told us, you messed things up by yourself.”

“Wow, how do you say something so cruel with such a sweet smile?” Jisung awkwardly leans back in his seat, definitely interested in that turn of topics though, and then gives Hyunjin a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

“Right…” Hyunjin was hoping Felix would forget about the details of his text message last night. “Not sure if I should tell you guys since it’s about Seungmin…”

“So is your confession though?” Jisung raises a brow.

Jeongin waves both of them off with disgust all over his face, “Trust me, I’ll be fine not knowing.”

“Not knowing what?”

They all look up to a mildly curious Seungmin, who has just returned to their table with two thick books in his arms. He sits down next to Jeongin on the other side of the table, right opposite Hyunjin. Once he’s organised himself again, with all their eyes on him, he innocently looks up again.

Confused by everyone’s eyes on him – Hyunjin keeps looking at his lips, damn it, he has to look away. How does Seungmin not look more affected by their new development?! – Seungmin turns to Jeongin, “So, what are you fine not knowing?”

Hyunjin sees Jeongin contemplating for only a second before he opens his mouth to answer a simple, “What Minho hyung has to do with you and the events of last night.” That’s… vague but direct enough.

Feeling wronged but somehow fairly exposed, Hyunjin smacks his hands against his face and slowly rubs his face while hiding it at the same time. Because, oh definitely, Seungmin’s shocked and disappointed stare is now on him. (“That’s gonna end with pimples,” he hears Felix quietly say.)

“Haha!” Jisung laughs, sadistically enjoying the scene, “Shame on Hyunjin! Wanna tell us yourself, Seungmin? Hyunjin didn’t want to say anything.” In a way Hyunjin is still surprised by Jisung’s ability to be both obnoxious and useful at the same time. But that help isn’t enough for Hyunjin to come out from his hiding place.

“I guess,” Oh, Seungmin is definitely sulking about this, “But Felix and Jeongin already know.”

“What?!” Hyunjin, hands hands slammed on the table, and Jisung yell at the same time. Someone somewhere shushes them aggressively and they quiet down. “What?” They repeat again, this time in a whisper.

“It’s about my – I really hate this – kind-of crush on Minho hyung,” Seungmin quietly admits, frowning as he flips through one of his thick books, “Which is obviously over by the way. The only reason it came up in the first place is because Hyunjin asked how I knew I was gay.”

From next to Hyunjin very dark energy seems to rise. Hyunjin willfully ignores Jisung’s imploring stare on Seungmin as Seungmin continues, “A weird question in my opinion, but I never did officially come out to everyone I guess, so I didn’t really mind it.”

Truly Jeongin and Felix look unaffected. How did they know? How did Hyunjin (and Jisung, sure) not know? Though Hyunjin has somewhat dealt with his initial shock (with healing kisses by lovely Seungmin here), it must be quite the news to a clueless Jisung.

“I see,” Jeongin just nods and packs away his stuff nonchalantly. Truly, Hyunjin envies Jeongin’s ability to just not give a shit. “Enough stupidity for today, guys.”

Felix agrees with a hum, putting his arms on the table and laying his head comfortably on them, “Gotta agree on that. So boring.”

Boring? Hyunjin takes a glance at Jisung next to him. Look at the tiny guy fuming in silence. Personally, Hyunijn would find it hilarious but he’s still offended by the fact that apparently Seungmin forgot to tell him such important things but did remember to tell Felix and Jeongin somehow. Hyunjin tells Seungmin everything (PG-rated) and thought they were on the same wavelength about it!

Hyunjin groans and throws his head back in annoyance. Coincidently his eyes find the quote “The only thing wrong with architecture is architects.” by Frank Lloyd Wright apparently on the ugly ceiling high up. And maybe Wright has a point. Maybe the problem is not the plan but the one who makes it.

“Are you two sulking because I didn’t tell you?” Hyunjin can hear the eyeroll and sarcasm in Seungmin’s voice so he moves his head back into a normal position. “Sorry, my dear babies, but I didn’t think it was that important to mention.”

“Huh?” Jisung finally speaks up again, visibly bothered. “How? You’re just casually telling me we both crushed on Minho hyung at the same time once! I didn’t even know!”

“Wait, what?” Seungmin looked at him with utter confusion, frown deep. Oh, and so does Hyunjin now, because what the fuck, Jisung? “At the same time? You liked Minho hyung? You always deny it though…?”

“Ah…” Felix sheepishly grins and quickly stuffs his bag, getting ready to leave and jostling Jeongin out of his seat too, “I knew I forgot to mention something. Bye!” Blinking but not complaining, Jeongin lets himself get manhandled away from the table and out of sight, not forgetting to take his own backpack with him.

That leaves only Hyunjin, Jisung and Seungmin at the table.

“I’m going to get a headache,” Hyunjin mutters, massaging his temples and closing his eyes. What the hell did he miss? Jisung admitting he likes Minho? Has someone transported Hyunjin into an alternate universe where Jisung is less stupid? What actually happened in the past 24 hours?

“You? _I’m_ going to get a headache,” Seungmin scoffs and still looks confused, but he quickly waves it off, “You know what? I don’t even care. You guys are dramatic and I have more important things to do today than to play along. I’ll go catch up with Felix and Jeongin. Guess I’ll have to finish my essay at home. See you la–” Before either Jisung and Hyunjin – both flabbergasted – can stop him, Seungmin packs his stuff fast, heaves the borrowed thick books into his arms and turns to leave only to bump into the devil in question who’s just rounded the corner to their table.

“Woah, Seungminnie, easy there.” Minho steadies Seungmin by the arms before the younger can fall on his ass from the collusion (Hyunjin was ready to use his body to cushion the fall, no worries!). Minho smirks and steps away from Seungmin once he’s made sure the danger is evaded. “Don’t need you falling for me.” His volume fits the library rules but somehow Hyunjin feels like no one needs to see him hush-hush words to Seungmin when they’re standing so close right now.

This has to be some sick joke. “Hyung, this is the worst possible time for you to appear,” Seungmin speaks what Hyunjin thinks but Hyunjin can’t see his face from here. A sigh, “Thanks for catching me though.”

“Don’t celebrate too early. I want to sue you for the damages,” Minho deadpans, rubbing his chest where the thick books’ edges met his body, “Since I don’t have money, you can also be my lawyer. Make sure justice is served, okay?” The young law major turns back around to their table and sits down on his seat again, dropping his books onto the table quietly. All paired with an eye roll.

“Minho hyung, what are you doing here?” Jisung asks, finally having gotten out of his stupor. He must be feeling winded by the whole situation too. Hyunjin doesn’t even know where to start himself. There’s so much to unpack here.

As always, Minho does not care one bit about the atmosphere though, comfortably bulldozing through it and definitely _choosing_ to ignore Hyunjin’s and Jisung’s scandalised faces. “Chan hyung send me,” he shrugs and pulls a crumbled flyer out of his pockets to hold it up, “I’m supposed to tell you guys that your theatre premiere date has been set. Next Saturday at eight.”

“What?” Seungmin takes it out of his hand to properly look at the fyler. “But Professor Choi–”

“Yeah, Chan hyung and I met her just now,” Minho sighs deeply, putting his hands into his jeans pockets and slouching a little, “Still a scattered chatterbox. She asked us to hand out those flyers to students. I only have this one though, Channie hyung has the rest. I wish she didn’t remember us to be honest…”

“How does she know you?” Seungmin owlishly looks up at the oldest still standing.

Blinking twice, Minho gives a flat fake smile, “Did you think Chan hyung went to that course alone last semester? He dragged Changbin and me with him. We just didn’t invite you to our premiere last semester.”

“I missed out on actor Lee Know?” Jisung gasps.

Minho chuckles at his reaction and replies with, “I played a knight. But I added my own flavours. Heh.” Cheeky. Through Hyunjin’s mind flash images of pure chaotic energy. It sends a shiver up his spine.

On the other hand Jisung’s face drops again as if remembering what’s supposed to be going on. This time into an accusing frown, “Hey, hyung, did you know that Seungmin had a crush on–” Jisung can’t even finish the sentence because next thing you know, Seungmin throws his entire body across the table just to clasp a strong hand over his mouth and glare deeply into his eyes, “Han Jisung, don’t you dare.”

Wow, Hyunjin has never seen Seungmin look so scary. He kind of wants to make sure no one gets hurt but he’s also very, you know, impressed by how attractive a pissed-off Seungmin looks. Doesn’t happen often, can anyone blame Hyunjin for losing track of priorities?

“Oh~?” Minho quirks a playful eyebrow and his lips form a sly smile. Suddenly he’s very interested.

Hyunjin guesses that makes sense. Of course, Minho loves a little chaos. He’s the type to cause it on purpose when he wants to. Imagine a fire? If it’s interesting enough, he’d probably dump gasoline right on top of it. Sure, he’s also the type to put out the fire when he notices the genuine need of help, but other than that… he’s still the guy who loves to play around.

So yeah, Hyunjin is not at all surprised (but definitely a little offended) when Minho walks over with a shit-eating grin and grabs Seungmin by the hips from behind, specifically the belt loops of his jeans, and pulls him off the table and away from Jisung – not gonna lie, that was hot. Damn it, Minho!

Seungmin blushes but still glares at Jisung as Minho now puts his hands on his shoulders and forces him to sit down on his chair. Minho is still smirking, hands resting on Seungmin's shoulders, when he raises a brow at Jisung to continue.

Although Jisung is not amused. “Did you know Seungmin had a crush on you?”

Surprise colours Minho’s features. Seungmin looks up at him and Minho looks down to meet his eyes before looking at Hyunjin – _yes, hello, I don’t like this either, hyung_ – and then back to Jisung. “Yeah, I know. Why is that relevant again?”

“What?!” Again, Hyunjin and Jisung yelling. Hyunjin must be losing it. Maybe this is all just a very long, very weird dream that he’ll soon wake up from. Sure, when he wakes up he’ll wake up to no kisses from Seungmin and Jisung still in denial… but if this absolute mess of literally everything is the alternative, then Hyunjin would just like his own reality back.

Now that he thinks about it… everything went downhill after the dance competition. Right?

Either way, that doesn’t really matter. The angry student librarian throws them out for multiple noise complaints. Guilty as charged, the boys take their leave. All with different expressions; it must be a funny sight.

* * *

“You know I hate having to be the responsible one. Can’t we wait till Chan hyung gets here?”

They’re somewhere quiet near their usual parking lot on campus grounds. Apparently, Chan is on his way. It’s only 16:35. Hyunjin was supposed to finish his final sketch for some project, Seungmin was supposed to finish his essay and Jisung was supposed to do research on Beethoven. (Jisung doesn’t remember what Felix and Jeongin were supposed to be working on but they had their own work too. With lots of numbers.) Should have, really, they all should have finished their very important academic work. Minho is the only one who did not have a productive reason to be at the library and yeah, to be fair: it’s mostly Hyunjin’s and Jisung’s fault that they got kicked out but… Jisung feels that, given the circumstances, their reactions were and still are very valid.

Maybe it’s childish to sit on the curb and throw around the bigger stones in the pebble path. Maybe not. Maybe Jisung is still pouting. Maybe not.

“You’re all embarrassing,” Seungmin sighs from his seat on the curb next to Jisung, head hanging. “I can’t believe we got kicked out the library. I’ve never been kicked out anywhere my entire life.”

“Maybe you should break the law more often,” Minho unhelpfully advises from his spot on the other side of Jisung. Words somehow always more dramatic than his tone of voice implies. “Get used to this side of life.”

Right in front of them is Hyunjin, sitting criss-cross on a boulder on the side of the pebble path’s concrete curb. “What Minho hyung says makes sense,” Hyunjin sighs wistfully, drawing something into the dirt with a long thin tree branch. “Maybe this really is a new side of life to get used to.”

A heart with Seungmin’s name in it. Should've expected that.

“I never said this was new to me but okay,” Minho says that but Jisung knows for a fact that Minho is just as embarrassed as Seungmin for getting thrown out the library. Minho may be a troublemaker sometimes but a respectful one. Just look at him sulking. Absolutely adorable.

“Why did you even have to scream like that? Who even does that?” Seungmin groans in annoyance, giving Hyunjin and Jisung a look before he deflates again.

Nah. That was valid. Jisung is going to tell Seungmin as much, “You literally had a crush on my Minho hyung. You didn’t think I’d be shocked at all to find that out?” Seungmin groans loudly and at the same time Jisung hears a slap sound from his other side and chooses to ignore Minho probably slapping his own forehead in exasperation.

“Did I just hear you say ’M–my Min–’” Hyunjin genuinenly gags, giving him a look of pure disgust before he looks down at his dirt drawing again, “Your… _Your_ Minho hyung? I can see where Seungmin comes from, but you? What the fuck? Has the light finally shined upon your poor soul?”

Jisung hates to admit it so he grits his teeth when he does. “Yes.”

Hyunjin’s head snaps up at worrying speed. Luckily there’s no crack sound. “No way…” Hyunjin gapes in disbelief, “For real?” He checks in with Seungmin and Minho too but those two are both trying to mind their own business and not get involved further.

Between the two disinterested tsunderes, Jisung sighs and nods, “Yeah, I’m aware now. Leave me alone.” Oh no, seriously… why is Hyunjin tearing up over this? Has Jisung really looked like that much of a lost cause before? Hyunjin looks so happy and proud. Ugh, embarrassing. Jisung leans into Minho’s side and hugs him around his waist so he can hide his face in Minho’s neck. He quietly mumbles a “Hide me, hyung.” Technically this position is a little uncomfortable when you’re dressed for cold weather and sitting on the hard curb of a pebble street. But it’s warmer. Nicer.

A flash goes off.

Jisung, still wrapped around Minho, looks up from his hiding place.

“Did you just take a photo?” Minho asks, voice laced with ice as he stares at Hyunjin, who still has his phone in his hand to take another photo. And another. And more.

(Hyunjin will send those to Jisung too, right?)

Hyunjin gives them both a grin when he’s done, “Sorry, I forgot the flash was on at first. But hey, I’ll make one of these my lockscreen! Even Seungminnie is on it, it’s perfect…” Hyunjin slides through a few of the photos, “But he does look like a third wheel… hm. Choices.”

“I’ll give you a choice,” Minho holds up two fingers, “Delete those photos or,” he takes one finger down to hold up only one, “Die.”

“Well, since this seems so out in the open… hyungie, does this mean you two are dating now?” Hyunjin scoots off his boulder to squat right in front of them, no fear for some inexplicable reason. Now even Seungmin shows interest, looking at Jisung still pressed half-comfortably into Minho’s side and then up at Minho questioningly.

Jisung smiles at the two of them with pride but alas…

“No,” Minho shoots them down and everyone sighs in disappointment, although Jisung just puts his face back into the crook of Minho’s neck so it isn’t so bad, really. The smell of lavender is probably Jisung’s favourite by now.

“Did you just deeply sniff Minho hyung?” Seungmin mumbles with (unnecessary) judgement.

“Wait,” Hyunjin, still squatting in front of them, holds up a hand as he concentrates, “So if Jisung is aware of his feelings… and Minho hyung is aware of Jisung’s feelings… then why are you not dating?”

“Not this again,” Minho groans and throws his head back. There’s a crack this time. “Ouch…” Minho rubs his neck but looks back at Hyunjin, “Are you all in on some dumb prank? Just so you know, your prank sucks ass.”

“Prank?” Hyunjin frowns in confusion.

There’s an understanding hum from Seungmin, “You don’t believe it, huh, hyung? Honestly I couldn’t either…”

“What?” Jisung and Hyunjin look at him now. No, this time it’s not a yell but Jisung wishes it was in the face of betrayal.

Minho on the other hand lightens up. “Thank you!” he throws his head back again, this time in relief and claps his hands and jostles Jisung a little with his movements. Jisung just stares at Hyunjin with a look of ‘See what I have to deal with?’ and sighs. Hyunjin just looks even more confused.

“No, no, no,” Hyunjin says and weaves a hand through his hair, accidently messing up his little ponytail at the back. “Let me get this straight,” he makes prayer hands and points at them with narrowed eyes and Jisung thinks nothing about this is straight, “You don’t believe it? And Seungmin, you don’t believe it either? Why? This has been the most obvious shit I have ever seen in my life and you’re not believing it? What’s there not to believe? I’ve put so much energy into this relationship!”

“Why are you getting so worked up?” Minho purses his lips and frowns, looking away and makes himself smaller as he brings his knees up to his chest, though he doesn’t hug them so it’s probably an unconscious action of insecurity.

Jisung keeps his arms firmly around Minho’s waist, gently rubbing his sides a little to make him feel better, when he smiles at Hyunjin reassuringly, “Don’t worry, dude. I’ll take care of it.”

Giving him a little cringe, Hyunjin turns back to look at Minho. “So, you believe Seungmin’s dead crush on you but not Jisung being literally head over heels for you?”

There’s a frustrated puff of air from Seungmin, puppy eyes trained on Hyunjin, “Can we not bring this up, please?”

Minho ignores him. His face is blank so it’s hard to tell whether he answers because he’s serious or whether he wants to make Seungmin suffer. “Seungmin had a cute little crush on me, which was fun and actually made sense. I noticed it pretty late but now I know what he looks like when he’s whipped and when he’s not. Jisungie though? Nonsense. This is the epitome of platonic love. I’ve never seen this idiot romantically whipped for anyone.”

Probably because Jisung’s been whipped for Minho from day one so who the fuck would Minho see him looking at. A short pause, Minho’s eyes rolling upwards in thought. “Maybe Jeongin some days.”

“For fuck’s sake, Lee Minho, I will literally throw hands. I’m in love with you! How do you believe Seungmin but not me? No offense but I feel like that’s two entirely different dimensions of liking someone.” Jisung looks up again, making Minho squirm in his hold and Jisung just starts shaking him back and forth. Minho is definitely more than just a pretty face so he should use his damn brain here!

“Yeah, uh, how the hell? I hate this,” Hyunjin adds, butt falling onto the pebble path from his squat and staying put, “I’m lost. But… alright. As long as you know Seungmin’s mine and therefore off the table for you, I’m fine. I guess. Good luck, Jisung.”

Ignoring a mildly impressed Seungmin, Jisung gives Hyunjin (who isn’t even sparing him a glance) a long narrow-eyed glare. “Considering the amount you meddled in this while I was in denial, Hwang, I’m so fucking disappointed by how quick you give up now that we’ve come this far.” Yes, Jisung does remember that he wanted Hyunjin to stop. No, there is no need to remind him or scold him for feeling bitter about it now. But hey, at least Hyunjin didn’t pull the ‘I told you so’ (yet).

Unfortunately, Minho pushes Jisung away from him and Jisung begrudgingly lets go, already sulking. Minho sighs in defeat, looking the other way. “I’m just going with simple logic. Whatever, I’m not an expert on love, alright?”

“Obviously,” Hyunjin supplies and Seungmin shrugs.

In the next moment Jisung is pleasantly surprised when Minho puts an arm around his shoulders instead and relaxes against him with a tired sigh. There’s a frown on his pretty features though. He looks like he needs to prove something. “All I know is that this–” Minho gently grabs Jisung’s chin with his other hand and turns him so they can look into each other’s eyes. That’s _close_ , almost cross-eyed close. Oh wow, Jisung’s heart is gonna explode. “–is not what being in love looks like.”

Blink, blink, blink. Silence.

Minho’s eyes widen and his lips part without words. He breaks the eye contact. Immediately standing up and leaving the three younger guys sitting on the floor as he turns their back to them. With bated breath, Jisung, Hyunjin and Seungmin can only stare at his back. Especially Jisung; his lungs seem to have forgotten how to properly work for a second.

“I think I’ll walk home,” Minho offhandedly drawls then, tense shoulders relaxing again as he walks away in that same direction. “This is so stupid.”

Not at all actually but Jisung may not be the best judge right now. His heart is currently still doing summersaults and pumping blood for a late blush. He’s up on his feet before he knows it, following Minho.

And that’s, of course, when Chan appears, together with Changbin in tow. It’s not unlikely that they were in the studio together till now. Well damn, Jisung isn’t sure whether he wishes they arrived here sooner or a little later.

Although Jisung stops in his tracks, Minho just keeps walking right past them in confident steps without any acknowledgement. Chan looks curious but doesn’t stop, in the middle of throwing his keys in the air and catching them before giving the rest of them a raised brow in question. Changbin on the other hand pauses and even turns around to see where Minho’s going.

Changbin just stands there. Then he looks back, body turned half-way, and meets eyes with Jisung, expression unreadable but familiar. Jisung who’s still too dazed to deal with whatever that gaze means, just finally rushes ahead to catch up with Minho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#4.13. P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Hwang Hyunjin  
>  **Occupation:** Interior Design Major/English Minor (2nd Semester), member of local dance studio  
>  **Other (2) :** takes a lot of photos of his friends but especially seungmin, good at sports but recently refused to join the basketball team with chan, he's been helping minho train boxing and thinks of joining properly, just tries to make sense of things without losing sight of his own goals
> 
> * * *
> 
> gosh i proof-read this multiple times on half a migraine but i will go over it again later. anyway, another packed chapter! haha... there's a lottt going on lately. everyone's got their heads busy with someones, somethings and life in general... everyone experiences everything differently! what do you expect to happen? did you catch everything that did happen?  
> i hope you're having fun reading this story! ♥  
> i'd love to read your thoughts about the chapter in the comments! ☆


	14. Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How long does it take to fall in love with a friend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little warning: mention of fear of heights and climbing trees. nothing heavy, no worries!

There are a few things Jisung is _vaguely_ sure of.

For one, the fact that Minho has most likely started running once he was out of their sight because he is nowhere to be found. Typical Minho. Look cool, only to do something weird right after… It’s not like Jisung is going to bite him (unless Minho is into that, then maybe). Jisung has been walking around for 5 minutes and that’s a lot, because people can go far in 5 minutes if you really think about it.

It had taken Jisung five minutes of being just the right kind of annoying and logical (plus his grandma’s input) to convince his parents to let him study alone in South Korea after denying him for months. Another five minutes to book a probably too expensive last-minute flight in the middle of the high school year which he was promptly scolded for. It could also take about five minutes for Jisung to read a page about Beethoven’s biography and be a little productive for university.

Anyway. For another, that Jisung should just follow his heart when it comes to Minho. Because Jisung’s feet somehow know better than Jisung’s fast-paced thinking of Minho’s possible locations (dance studio, library, random seminar room, dorms or indeed on the way home). He’s already going in a set direction without his mind actually deciding on a place. As if it’s only natural to find him. It’s funny how his being works when it comes to one Lee Minho.

Lastly, that clingy Minho is better than cautious Minho. This is 100%. No vagueness. Clingy Minho presses closer but cautious Minho turns (or runs) away. Jisung doesn’t want Minho to be cautious with him. He never was that cautious until these recent developments. Jisung can see that Minho doesn’t want to be, doesn’t want to make a big deal but also doesn’t want to be too vulnerable. It’s not like he’s never opened up to Jisung before – he has, because Jisung somehow always knows when to appear and comfort him – but Minho just doesn’t like meddling with serious emotions too much. He does his best though when he is confronted with them anyway, and that’s how Jisung knows that somewhere deep down, Minho takes him seriously, too, even if his conclusion of it all is denial.

Or maybe Jisung knows from how Minho looked at him by the parking lot before disappearing around the next best corner. _‘All I know is that this is not what being in love looks like.’_ How would you even know? Usually Minho is pretty good at reading Jisung, but maybe Minho has a bit to learn too.

Since Jisung has been learning a lot lately, for a change, maybe he can be of help to Minho to understand things better too. Just like Minho somehow always does for him, he’ll have to try and see if he can be like that for Minho too.

(If only Minho were easier to read.)

They can learn together.

Also, Minho must be around here somewhere. Jisung has reached the dance studio and circles it but there’re only a few stray dancers and other students. At the back of the dance studio, there is an entrance to a park. In the centre of the park university events are also held sometimes if the weather allows. Something tells Jisung that Minho did not go inside the dance studio so Jisung follows his instincts into the park. 

Going through the park is also just a longer way to go home to hyung-line’s apartment building. It is a pretty space of trimmed nature. Some nights, when hanging out hasn’t been long enough, the boys take this road home too. Minho has spent a lot of time here with Jisung as well, just taking walks after dance practice, goofing off and sipping iced americano to-go or just sitting on a bench in free periods. Jisung takes pride in how easily he can make Minho laugh. Even when Minho doesn’t want to show it, his eyes always betray him of the fun he’s having.

It’s easy to get lost in Minho, Jisung realises yet again, because he almost gets so lost in thinking about Minho that he doesn’t notice Minho himself.

Up there. In a tree.

 _Sigh._ “Nobody is going to believe this…” Jisung mumbles at the pitiful sight. It pulls a worried but fond smile onto his face.

Up there. In one of those big, sturdy, old trees perfect for children to climb and play adventurer – Minho probably knows the tree type’s name. About 3 meters or more high up; that’s how Jisung even notices him in the first place from the decreasing distance. Minho nervously tries to climb back down but just can’t seem to make himself take the necessary actions. He keeps raising one leg or the other, reaches one hand out or the other. Never goes any further than that.

Once Jisung stands right under where Minho is stuck above, Minho still doesn’t realise he’s been spotted.

“Is this really the best hiding place you could’ve chosen?”

Minho flinches hard and flails with a scream “AHH!”, sending birds freshly back from bird migration out of this tree and every other tree nearby.

Jisung watches them flutter away before he meets Minho’s unsteady eyes again. Minho glares at him as best as he can while he’s tightly hugging a thick branch, so it doesn’t nearly intimidate Jisung as much as Minho would like it to. Not like Minho can do anything to Jisung from up there.

“What the fuck?” Minho hisses, normal volume again and voice unsteady. “I’m not hiding! A cat needed help getting down!”

“A cat?” Jisung’s eyes go round in surprise. No cats nearby. “Then why are you stuck there now?”

Minho looks away, blush riding high on his cheeks as he pouts, “Just… I’m not… not _stuck_ …”

Jisung looks right through him, sighs and then acts nonchalant as he makes a move to act like he’s leaving, “Alright, so you don’t mind if I go right now and–”

“No!” Minho yells immediately and his voice turns a little high, looking around the tree nervously. Probably weighing his options. Mr. Independent doesn’t want to ask for help. “Stay. Please. I… I just need a minute then I can come down.”

Not quite ignoring the flutter in his chest, Jisung nods and crosses his arms – he was going to stay anyway or maybe go to find a ladder. Now watching Minho do the same thing as before: raising one leg or the other, reaching one hand out or the other but never going any further than that. Just like Jisung, Minho is afraid of heights. There’s a bit of a frown on his face. He’s frustrated and scared. Not that Minho would ever admit. He looks like a distressed kitten himself.

The sight tugs painfully at Jisung’s heartstrings.

Alright, he won’t tease Minho. Just why did he even go up there? Minho always keeps doing things like this! Conquering his fear or something. Whether it’s a ferris wheel (or literally anything else in an amusement park), a playground’s climbing nets (déjà-vu but he made that one on his own), bungee jumping (last year with the others), Namsan Tower (Minho actually dragged Jisung along for this one) or many other instances where Minho had somehow found genuine fear and fun at the same time. For someone who’s afraid of heights, you’d think he would avoid going to high places.

“Hyung,” he gently starts, not wanting to watch Minho struggle anymore, “I’ll come up a bit and you’ll take my hand, okay? I’ll help you down.”

“Mh-mh.” Minho makes a sound of immediate disagreement. “You’re afraid of heights.”

He can’t be for real right now. “So are you!”

“I’m conquering–”

“I don’t care, we’ll conquer together then! I’m coming up there!”

…

Hm.

Only five minutes later he realises. Maybe he should have listened to Minho.

“I told you not to come,” Minho says, suddenly calmer. Good for him.

Jisung isn’t anywhere near as high up as Minho but he’s close enough that he _could_ , maybe, reach Minho’s hand if they both stretch a bit. You see, while Minho is the type to ‘conquer his fears’ or whatever, Jisung just _isn’t_. Alas…

“I don’t want to hear it. I’m already here,” Jisung responds, his voice steadier and calmer than his limbs. If only for Minho.

“Should we call the others? You’ll get hurt… Just go down again. Can you?” Minho sounds so worried now, voice soft and gentle as if _he_ wasn’t the one having the problem in the first place. “Go back down, Hannie.”

Jisung’s heart is going to combust. Letting himself feel things is so intense, damn it! Why is Minho being so cute right now? Jisung is busy trying to climb and find a solution here, not get even more butterflies. He’s dead serious when he tells Minho, “You acting like this makes my knees weaker so you better stop.”

It sufficiently shuts Minho up. The wind picks up and makes the whole tree shake a little. Oh fuck, okay.

Jisung is right at the tree trunk but Minho is further from the center, still holding tightly onto a thick branch next to him. If he can reach Minho’s hand from here it should help him step onto that lower branch and towards the center, then they can keep that system up and climb down…

Jisung looks up to see Minho already staring at him with wide eyes.

“Give me your hand but keep holding onto the tree with the other, okay?” Jisung takes a deep breath, trying to appear calmer than he is. He reaches his hand out, “Once you hold my hand, push yourself onto that lower branch there–” he points at it before looking into Minho’s eyes again, “–and then stabilise on me, okay? Lean on me, I’ll lean back against the tree as soon as you’re jumping over from there and onto my branch.”

Minho is already shaking his head with a grimace, looking at the view beneath him, “Ahh, I don’t think–”

“You can do it, Minho, I believe in you.” Jisung might have sounded too serious so he adds a playful, “You can hit me for dropping honorifics when you’re down here.”

It doesn’t even take a second before Minho groans and frowns at Jisung’s outstretched hand with determination. “Ugh! Okay. Just so you know, I could’ve done this on my own just fine… Don’t you dare let me go, Han Jisung.”

“I won’t.”

Minho visibly calms down a little and nods. Then he carefully takes his padded jacket off and drops it on the grass and, oh okay, squares up. He meets Jisung’s eyes again and explains, “What? If I kept it on, we’d bounce off each other and not have enough space when I jump on your branch.”

“I know.” Hand still outreached, Jisung considers taking his own jacket off too. It’s the fluffy black and white one.

Minho grabs his hand tightly before he can make a decision. “Holy shit, okay.” Jisung grimaces a little at how tight Minho is holding on but he’s probably holding on just as tight, if not tighter, himself.

And then Minho does just as they planned, pushing off his feet, first landing on the nearest lower branch and now he jumps over to Jisung’s and–

Right into Jisung’s waiting arms! “Got you!” Jisung breathes out in relief, immediately letting Minho’s hand go to securely wrap his arms around his waist as Minho stumbles over from his jump. They both need a moment to settle their balance again, leaning too far to every side from the force. Through it, Minho and Jisung keep making distressed noises.

Screaming is actually helpful sometimes, you know, to take some of the edge off.

(“Uwah… Woah… Hhh! Wah!”)

When they finally find their balance, Minho is leaning fully against Jisung and his hands are gripping onto Jisung’s shoulders while Jisung pulls him flush against him by tightening his hold around Minho’s waist, both breathing a little heavily. Now that Minho is in his arms, he feels himself relax a little, leaning back onto the tree trunk behind him.

Finally, they manage to properly check on each other.

Once their eyes meet, they’re instantly grinning at each other so wide Jisung almost forgets that they’re still not back on the safe ground.

“You didn’t let go,” Minho sighs in quiet relief, tense shoulders becoming a little loose and so up close, gazing into Jisung’s eyes like there’s something he likes.

Well, fear is easier to handle when you’re not on your own.

Ever so gently and watchful, Minho leans his forehead against Jisung’s and closes his eyes, smile still on his lips. It’s warm and seems to relax Minho.

In no time Jisung’s heart is going on a rampage at their proximity. Knocking against his ribcage and throwing a damn party in there. The only thing saving Minho from feeling it through their closeness is his jacket.

Okay, Jisung, _breathe_. Just follow Minho’s example.

Acting cocky, Jisung lightly clicks his tongue, “I told you I wouldn’t.” With one hand he gently rubs Minho’s waist. Without his jacket all Minho is wearing is a black t-shirt with a flannel loose over it. He feels Minho shiver under his touch and then he opens his eyes, leaning slightly away again to properly look at Jisung. Something tugs between them but high up in a tree it could be anything.

They should hurry down so Minho doesn’t become an ice cube or they risk a freefall.

Despite what every movie says, Jisung looks down to assess the situation. “We’ve come this far so we can do the rest too.”

Minho follows suit, “Once we reach that branch over there, we can just jump the rest of the way.”

Technically, they could jump but Jisung would rather not. Carefully detaching from each other but still holding each other close enough, they carefully help each other down. One after the other. For the most part it’s unspoken communication.

Once they finally reach the bottom branch from where it’s maybe one and a half meters from the floor only, it’s obvious that Minho wants to do some ‘conquering fear’ thing again because he looks like he’s getting ready to jump but Jisung pulls him back against him before he can, “Hey hey hey, let’s just slowly slide down from here.” He points at a branch.

“I can jump,” Minho tells him sternly, “This isn’t that high. It’s safe. It’s like jumping down the last three steps of stairs. You can slide if you want but I’m fine from here.”

“I know it’s safe but it’s still scary! We came all this way together and you wanna leave me here?!”

“Don’t put this on me. I could’ve climbed down myself, but you insisted–”

“Don’t be fucking rude! I tried my best!”

“I didn’t even ask you to!”

In the midst of arguing over something very stupid (as Jisung will probably only realise later on), Jisung slips on a rounded hump of the tree branch and promptly feels his soul leave his body. Minho’s eyes widen because he must see a ghastly mini version of Jisung take his departure.

For a moment everything happens in slow motion.

Out of reflex Jisung grabs onto the tree – where his hand immediately slips off – and then onto Minho who’s already grabbing at him but totally forgetting to hold onto the tree himself.

They fall.

Thankfully into a thick bush.

No one is hurt. Not much. Fuck, that was intense. Good that that shit is fucking over.

Their limbs are in a tangled heap in the thick bush. Jisung feels multiple things poking his legs and neck but also Minho flush on top of him and his warm breath beside Jisung’s cheek. Jisung’s thick fluffy coat saves his upper body and back from getting stretched by the thorny (and luckily) strong bush.

Honestly Jisung is so done for today. A loud groan leaves his mouth. Danger evaded, he feels utterly _spent_.

“If my pretty face has even one scratch…” Minho grumbles low threats from on top of Jisung and raises his head from where it was pressed against Jisung’s cheek, slowly trying to assess the situation and untangle himself without letting them drop further into the bush and onto the grass and dirt. “Ugh, just like Han Jisung to choose falling over jumping… fucking hell…”

Jisung just lays in his spot and stares. There’s leaves stuck in Minho’s tousled hair (in Jisung’s probably too), somehow there’s a bit of dirt on his left cheek, his pouting lips are bitten red from the worry before, brown eyes narrowed as he frowns and glares at everything around him, and Jisung concludes that no one’s ever this beautiful falling off a tree unless it’s Minho.

Minho keeps on mumbling profanities, insulting everything around them and even moving onto threatening things and people outside the current situation.

“… and if I come home and the kitchen isn’t fucking clean for me to cook my dinner, I will throw someone out and when that is Hyunjin then so be it because there is no way in hell I will…”

Jisung actually finds himself smiling. Like they didn’t just fall out of a tree or – okay, dramatic, they were short off the ground and _could have_ jumped if it weren’t for Jisung’s clumsiness – fell right into a thorny bush. Annoyed Minho taking over Cautious Minho is fine. Annoyed Minho may grumble and pout and complain all the way home and into the night until next morning. But that’s fine.

What’s not fine is Minho’s knee brushing against a dangerous spot while trying to get up. Jisung flushes bright red, he feels it. “Not to interrupt your rampage but your knee is close to my jewels so try not to, you know,” Jisung steadies him on his lap and rises up a bit himself, unsteady bush strength underneath them, “break them.”

Minho pauses and looks down as if he could see the problem from his position (which he cannot, but thanks), and then up at Jisung. Jisung gives him a thin-lipped smile.

Minho grins, there’s something evil in it. “I’ll make it quick then. Let me just…” As he trails off, Jisung doesn’t even get a second to protest.

With a vigorous pull at Jisung’s shoulders and Minho’s thighs securing Jisung’s legs, Minho rolls them both and they land in the grass with an “Ooof!” and an “Argh!”. The thorny bush definitely pulled at Jisung’s clothes a little but hey, no squirrels were hurt in the process.

Having landed on top of Jisung again, Minho slides off of him to lay beside him on the grass and stare at the sky, or, well, the sky through the tree’s branches above them. They’re both catching their breath.

Jisung looks over. “Aren’t you cold?”

“I’m pretty hot,” Minho says. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. I can’t believe– Nah, I can believe that you climbed a tree to help a cat only to get stuck there yourself.” Jisung sighs again, with more fondness than exasperation. “Typical Lee Minho.”

Minho doesn’t see his smile, still focused on the sky. “I wasn’t stuck,” he denies.

“Sure,” Jisung sits up and slightly leans over Minho with round eyes, reaching to clean up Minho’s appearance, “There are leaves in your hair and a bit of dirt on your cheek, baby.”

Finally looking at him, Minho grins. While Jisung pulls stray leaves out of Minho’s hair, Minho tugs off leaves sticking to Jisung’s fluffy jacket. “Thanks.” And Jisung knows Minho means more than just the leaves. “Why did you come after me anyway?”

“My instincts told me you’d do something reckless again,” Jisung simply answers as half a joke with a neutral look, last leaf taken off Minho’s hair and hand dropping back to his side. Leaning against his other propped-up palm, Jisung smiles at him. Reality is, Jisung has no idea why he followed. Where they left off just didn’t feel right. Minho leaving just didn’t feel right. Something inside of Jisung pushed him to follow as if it’d be a mistake not to.

Now that he thinks back, he still doesn’t know what Changbin’s expression meant.

“I wanted to go alone though,” Minho blankly blinks at him.

Jisung shrugs, “Let’s go together.”

“Don’t you know what ‘alone’ means?” Minho exaggerates his disbelief, lips jutting out into a pout and eyes wide in disapproval.

“ _To! Ge! Ther!_ Hyung and I are one!” Jisung defends easily, pointing at himself and then prods at Minho’s chest. But he can’t keep his face serious for too long before he bursts into laughter at their silly banter, “Hyung and I are one!”

It’s okay though, Minho ends up laughing with him, playfully hitting his arm – Minho often says this is how acting cute is supposed to look… lucky, he’s cute – and then his hand gently curls around Jisung’s wrist on his chest. “Sure, sure,” Minho gives in quietly, gazing up at Jisung.

His thumb rubs gentle circles over his pulse point.

Can he feel the way Jisung’s heart pounds for him through it? Jisung splays his fingers over Minho’s chest and if he moved his hand a little he could feel Minho’s heart beat through his shirt. But he lets himself be held in place by Minho.

His stare pins Jisung more into place than their touch does.

There’s something very soft in Minho’s gaze that Jisung isn’t sure how to interpret. It just makes him feel warm so he simply basks in the feeling. He wouldn’t mind if time stopped for them right in the here and now. The reflection of the late afternoon sky through the tree’s web of brown and faded greens and oranges in Minho’s sparkly eyes or the sweet curl in his lips as he grins, all make Jisung feel so at home. Like he’s exactly where he should be.

“Hyung, you, uhm,” Jisung swallows and he bites his bottom lip once before earnestly looking at Minho. He offers his words like they’re a secret to carry. “You feel like home.”

Something changes in Minho’s eyes. A little sweet something. “Really?” it’s a teasing whisper and the quirk of an eyebrow.

Jisung is whisked closer like magic.

Slow and careful, leaning further over Minho. Desperate to tell Minho more, like he’s been promising both of them in his mind all this time. Careful to lean his weight on his free arm and be gentle with the hand on Minho’s chest. Jisung is so curious. Does Minho’s heart beat the same rhythm as his right now? He swears Minho knows the rhythm by his pulse, skin on skin as he still warmly rubs over it with his thumb.

“Yeah,” Jisung breathes out and it’s barely audible to his own ears.

Cold grass in the beginnings of spring. There must be something Minho is looking for. The way his eyes take their time to travel all over Jisung’s features gives him goosebumps all over his body.

_Minho, whatever you want to see, I’ll show you._

Expression unreadable but soft, Minho reaches up with his free hand and gently cups Jisung’s cheek.

Just like that Jisung lets him touch, not moving as not to spook him.

He flares up again, red hot. But so does Minho under him, expression unchanged, but flushed pink. So pretty. So fucking pretty. Jisung wants to kiss him. Let Minho feel everything he may or may not be looking for. Would Minho want that? Would that be okay? Damn, the butterflies must be getting to his head.

Something is tugging between them. Closer. Closer. _Closer._

_Meow?_

A cute little noise swiftly takes Minho’s attention, head snapping into the direction of the following mewls. His entire being brightens at the sight he finds, “Hannie! It’s the cat from before! I think she’s new in the neighbourhood…”

Indeed, there is a tiny visitor of fluff.

Sighing for the nth time this day but with – oh, he’s so gone for this boy, isn’t he? – utter fucking _love_ fluttering in his chest, Jisung gets to his feet and helps Minho up with a quickly-taken hand to stand up as well. No pause, Minho rushes over to his little friend.

Meanwhile Jisung dusts himself off as best as he can and comes to stand next to his own friend. “How do you keep finding cats everywhere…?”

But Minho isn’t listening as he gently picks the calico cat up into his arms. He turns to Jisung with a little grin, eyes still on the cat in his arms as he scratches where the cat likes it. “Let’s go to your dorm,” he says softly and then his voice turns to baby-talk, clearly addressing the cat in his arms, “Minho should still have some healthy snacks for little rascals like you stored under Jisungie’s bed~! Evil dorm supervisors won’t find you with Minho’s protection, little baby.”

The cat meows in reply as if it completely understood and at this point Jisung wouldn’t be surprised if it really did understand. Minho hums happily, eyes turning into crescent moons. Jisung thinks it’s not that far-fetched to think that the moon is in love with Minho too. After all, even in daylight, they have so much in common in the way their magic works.

All the while Jisung’s heart keeps doing its little jumping jacks and cartwheels at the soft sight. Not sure what to do with the butterflies, he just chuckles and agrees with a fitting cute tone, “Okay~!” He puts his hands into his pockets because otherwise he’ll try to kiss Minho for his cuteness and he can’t ruin the moment like that. It’s good as it is anyway. 

They take off into the direction of the dorms. (Jisung doesn’t forget to pick up Minho’s jacket. Minho is just too focused on the cat.)

For now, he’ll concentrate on making Minho believe in his feelings and then, maybe, he’ll get a kiss for his efforts – Jisung won’t steal a kiss when he wants to earn one.

Trudging after Minho, a confused frown forms on Jisung’s forehead as he realises something.

“Wait, you’re hiding cat snacks under my bed?”

* * *

For Changbin to feel stupid it takes a lot.

Not to sound arrogant. It’s just that Changbin is a stubborn and confident guy. Once he’s sure of something, he will stay sure of it and make sure to go at it headstrong.

Like when he had managed to get his parents to compromise on letting him major in music production and minor in finance instead of dropping music production like they had wanted him to do at first. Or when he had first befriended Felix when the younger didn’t speak a lick of Korean except ‘Hello, how are you?’ and ‘I’m Felix’ or whatever else he managed to catch from Korean dramas and Changbin didn’t speak a lick of English in the exact same manner. Not to forget that time he had made Chan and Jisung join him in an underground rap battle because some prick kept taunting him.

What about it? Changbin’s a Leo. He’s got a shirt with his star sign on it.

But _this_ also makes him feel stupid. Also makes him think his friends are stupid but mostly, he feels it for himself. After he saw Minho and Jisung fall from a low branch of a thick old tree right into a bush of thorns, Changbin just left.

Okay, he did stay for, like, 5 minutes in total of timeframe around their falling but yeah. Honestly, he’s stubborn but not a complete masochist.

Even so, it’s always been Changbin who somehow always accidently catches them in their little world.

And in all honesty, he isn’t sure where exactly ‘They’re cute. I like watching them together. I want to tease them.’ transitioned into ‘Minho is cute. I like watching Minho. Shit, I got a crush on Minho.’. It sounds terrible, really, especially if he would call this crush by what it really has become at this point.

Changbin prides himself in being a good honest guy, never one to back down when he knows he shouldn’t but also never one to intentionally hurt anyone’s feelings. Always careful about limits.

He can be childish sometimes, for the fun of it, and a little silly to make others laugh. That’s about it. So how did Minho manage to get Changbin to feel stupid? Out of all the people in the world…

Minho with his stupid pretty face and stupid cute breathy laugh. Terrible. Changbin would rather go back to genuinely wanting to wrestle him, instead of wanting to bend his body beyond friendship. Benefits are easy to achieve for Changbin; he’s never had a problem to get a taste of someone’s body. If the bell rings for green lights, he listens to every signal: he allows touches and touches when allowed. Except in this scenario, of course.

There he goes again. Everything would be so much easier if Changbin only had a thing for Minho’s body.

Ever since last night he’s been stuck between wanting to run in two completely different directions. Again, it’s all because of Lee Minho.

“I wouldn’t,” Changbin hears Felix say when he’s shaking off his thoughts, “I’d catch feelings like Seungmin is the pitcher and I’m the catcher. Rest in fucking pieces to Hyunjin for accidently going there with feelings in hand already.”

Jeongin cringes, expression somewhere between disgust and approval. “Sounds troublesome but Seungmin hyung would appreciate the baseball analogy.”

Right. So when Changbin had left the park where his feet had dragged him to after he was _stupid_ enough to run after Minho and Jisung (“You’re going too?” he had heard Hyunjin yell in confusion after him), he had met Felix and Jeongin, who had been on the way to the green coffee shop near the dorms. That’s where they are right now. A bright pink drink in Felix’s hands – his second one of the day as Changbin was told, not sure if it’s a hot or cold drink since it only looks like neon poison – and an iced americano in Jeongin’s.

They’re sitting at a table outside the coffee shop and Changbin wonders why students are always found in cafés and coffee shops for some reason. It’s not like it’s cheap.

“You’re having that Rich Kid In Thoughts Face again,” Jeongin narrows his eyes at Changbin, “Stop judging me for drinking overpriced iced americano. I deserve this, hyung.”

“I’m not a prick! You do deserve it. I’m not judging you…” Changbin really doesn’t. He purses his lips and looks down at the table. “I paid for it anyway.”

Jeongin takes a sip and smiles in satisfaction, “That’s why you’re my favourite hyung.”

“You really say that to everyone who buys you things, huh…” Felix sighs in disappointment and then takes another sip of his own poison drink, turning to Changbin afterwards. “Thanks tho’.”

Changbin waves them off and rests his chin on his propped-up palms, sighing through his nose. He only bought a water bottle for himself, not feeling like tasting anything more right now. Yeah, that can be a feeling. Let him live. “I should have just stayed at home today or spent my day at the gym. Who even comes to campus when they have no classes? And then Chan hyung caught me and dragged me along too… I didn’t even sleep well last night. Never gonna do that again… From now on I will only go on campus if necessary.”

“Well, why _are_ you on campus then? And why are you so sulky today?” Felix frowns and sends a worried pout his way. “You were sulky this morning too and usually you sleep well… anything you want to talk about, hyungie?” He sips at his pink drink through the paper straw and bats his eyelashes at Changbin.

Jeongin pulls a tired face at that and turns away.

Oh, sweet pure Felix. Changbin gives him a dead stare. “No, ‘Lix, I do sleep well unless someone disturbs me. Don’t think I didn’t hear the noises from Chan hyung’s room last night. At least try not to break the bed… or the wall. Just, you know, be quiet next time.” He sighs in relief and only half-teasing, knowing full well the weight of his words. “Thank God, we don’t do bunk beds and shared bedrooms anymore.”

For a whole second Felix just _stares_.

As soon as the words register in Felix’s mind he’s choking on his drink, almost spitting it out as he puts a hand in front his mouth not to. He swallows and his eyes tear up from the choking. He keeps coughing and hitting his chest to gain his bodily functions back.

Shaking his head in exasperation, Jeongin sighs deeply and pinches the bridge of his noise.

At last that brings a smile to Changbin’s lips. “I hope you’ll learn from this, kids.”

“Let’s just go home,” Jeongin suggests, already getting up and grabbing his backpack. His eyes are empty, probably having repressed last night’s noises until now. “I keep telling you guys my brain can’t handle this much without any breaks and yet you keep coming at me with stuff like this in a matter of not even 24 hours.”

“Why?” Changbin hands Felix his water bottle without looking, eyes on Jeongin, “What else happened today?”

“Oh,” Jeongin rolls his eyes like a forty-year-old midwife who helped through five births in a day and props his hand on his hip, “Weren’t you listening? Apparently Hyunjin hyung and Seungmin hyung are friends with benefits now. Jisung hyung didn’t know about Seungmin hyung’s crush on Minho hyung until today. And you already know about the trouble of Minho hyung and Jisung hyung… My brain hurts. I need a break before I hear even one more thing. Like this crap.”

“Huh,” Changbin raises his eyebrows, “That really is a bit much for a day.” Some of it doesn’t sound quite right but honestly, Changbin is done for today too. “Let’s go to your dorm and chill. I don’t feel like going home yet, come on.”

Felix halfway calmed down, raises his hand and clears his throat, “I’m coming too. I have my Switch with me. And it’s not what it soun–”

“Spare us,” Jeongin commands. He turns and leaves the scene, expecting the two older ones to follow.

And they do. Maknae on top.

* * *

Once they’re in the hallways of the dorms and on the correct level, they hear the muffled melody of an acoustic guitar and singing.

“Sounds like Jisung is home already,” Felix comments. He’s a little sulky because neither Changbin nor Jeongin want to listen to him about The Chan(-Lix?) Thing. Look, any other day _fine_ , but Changbin really can’t handle more for today with his nerves so sensitive. Just let him rest and play some mindless videogames with his dongsaengs.

Jeongin already has his keys ready when they reach the dorm room. “If he stole my snacks again, I will commit homicide.”

“Homie-cide,” Felix laughs behind them and okay, that’s kinda funny. Changbin joins the laughter and Jeongin tries to hide a small grin.

The door opens and they walk right in. Changbin last to close the door behind them.

Jeongin only sighs – probably at the sight of Jisung who stopped singing – not even pausing, toeing his shoes off and throwing himself on his bed, reaching for his bedside table to pull snacks out the drawer. Felix pauses by the door. Once the door is closed by Changbin and he turns around, he pauses too.

Oh.

“’Sup?” Minho lazily waves in greeting.

On Jisung’s bed, there’s a curled up calico cat sleeping in Minho’s lap. Minho is leaning against Jisung, head on Jisung’s shoulder and looking like a comfortable cat lazing away himself. Jisung on the other hand has a guitar on his lap, hands short of strumming the strings and mouth open as if he simply stopped mid-song and switching his gaze curiously over the three newcomers.

Jisung visibly swallows. “You guys staying?” he asks into the room.

And Changbin realises Felix has long moved on, now also sitting on Jeongin’s bed. Awkwardly acting like he didn’t freeze for a whole minute by the door, Changbin slowly moves to take his coat and shoes off before he also takes a seat on Jeongin’s bed, sprawling out as usual.

“Nah, I’ll leave in…” Changbin nonchalantly replies when Jeongin and Felix don’t, and checks his wristwatch. “Like five minutes.”

Felix gives Changbin a confused look. “What, really?” Please don’t mention that Changbin wanted to stay, please. Changbin sends him a finger gun and a smile which only confuses Felix more, judging by the way he mouths a _What?_.

“I’ll come with,” Minho says, straightening his posture carefully without disturbing the sleeping cat, as Jisung leans over the bed to put the guitar down on the floor and then pushes it under the bed. He’ll probably put it in its bag later. It’s dusty under beds and guitars don’t deserve that without any protection.

Either way Changbin’s smile drops, giving Minho a glare, “Don’t.”

Minho rolls his eyes in immediate response. Once Jisung leans back against the wall behind them, making himself comfortable on the bed again, Minho leans back into his side and drops his head on Jisung’s shoulder. “You can’t tell me what to do, Binnie,” Minho sticks his tongue out at Changbin and then looks up at Jisung from his spot, “You wanna come with? Take your guitar with you and sing me to sleep later.”

Jisung sighs sadly, looking down at his lap with a pout. “I seriously want to but I have to submit at least four pages of research on Beethoven for an online group assignment by 23:59 and since I didn’t do shit in the library…” He puts his hands up in a helpless shrug before he meets Minho’s gaze who’s still looking at him from his spot on his shoulder.

Eyes slowly roaming over Minho’s face and swallowing visibly once their eyes meet again, Jisung offers an alternative, “I can serenade you tomorrow night though.”

Two slow blinks from Minho.

There’s that bubble around Minho and Jisung again. Changbin feels stupid again.

“No romancing in this house when in my presence,” Jeongin interrupts their staring session – literally everyone in the room except the youngest rips their gazes away from whatever (whoever) they were looking at – sitting up now and opening a bag of potato chips. “Five minutes are over. Take the cat with you.”

Jisung and Minho both are blushing. It’s cute. Jisung starts whistling an innocent tune as Minho takes immediate offense at the words. “Her name is _Ga-In_ ,” Minho frowns, sitting up carefully and cradling the cat to his chest. Offended that he had to wake her up, Minho babytalks his apology to the sleepy calico cat in his arms, “Sorry Ga-Innie, that one’s an Innie, too, but a bad boy one…”

The cat meows.

“Yes, tragic, Minho knows.”

Changbin basically sees Jisung’s eyes fill with hearts at the scene.

“You’re really gonna go, hyung?” Felix raises a brow at Changbin, looking up from where he’s booting up his Switch on Jeongin’s desk. He’s definitely suspicious of Changbin for some reason. “I thought you didn’t want–”

“Things change. I’m leaving. Sorry,” Changbin grins and gives him another finger guns. He really needs to stop doing that. “Just remembered I want a drink from the coffee shop too. Uh, Minho hyung, you can go ahead then.”

Felix’s frown deepends but Changbin tries to ignore it as he gets up the bed and puts his shoes and jacket on by the door. At least Changbin didn’t bring his backpack today.

Letting the cat roam the room, Minho follows to wear his stuff to leave. Felix is already sitting on the floor to say hello to it while Jeongin takes over the Switch. Jisung’s eyes keep switching between fondly watching the cat and watching Minho leave.

“You trying to get rid of me?” Minho sighs in mock disappointment. There’s a little leaf stuck in his hair. It’s tiny and right beside his ear.

“Yep,” Changbin pops the ‘p’ casually. Minho just mutters a dark ‘Pabbit…’ in response, which Changbin ignores. “Don’t forget the cat.”

* * *

“You’ve been kinda weird lately,” Minho comments in his usual soulless tone but Changbin knows when he’s been caught red-handed. Of course, Minho breaks the awkward silence they’ve had for the past few minutes on their walk home. Maybe Minho is feeling a little down from when the cat had jumped out of his arms and ran after a stray mouse right outside the dorms. “You mad at me or something?”

“What if I say yes?” Changbin grumbles quietly, hands in his jacket pockets and eyes confidently ahead. He doesn’t really want to let Minho know anything. The road home feels unusually long today.

“Wanna fight me about it?” Minho smirks a little and nudges him with his elbow. Of course, he’d try to joke his way in.

But Changbin is strong. “I’m not mad,” he sighs, “I’m not weird either. Being weird is your job.”

Minho huffs out a laugh and Changbin isn’t sure whether he only imagines the annoyance in it. “I accept that I’m weird but people using me being weird as an excuse to hide their own weirdness is kinda getting on my nerves.”

Not imagined then. Changbin keeps his eyes in front of him. “Wanna fight me about it?”

This time Minho’s laugh is more genuine, “Sure! At home though, I don’t want to be arrested today.”

“Any other day is fine though?” Changbin glances at him – the words feel like they could have come from Jisung – and regrets it immediately when his heart skips a beat at Minho’s grin, so he keeps his eyes on the way in front of them.

“I was thrown out the library today,” Minho says, “I’d like to have my criminal record more diverse in time if you don’t mind.” Then his voice becomes softer, “Seriously though, you made plans with me to go to the gym this morning and then just left without me. And when I was at the gym, you were not even there. At least cancel plans instead of standing me up and ignoring my texts. Not to mention that you said you wanted something from the coffee shop but we walked straight past it five minutes ago.”

Ah, shit. Changbin isn’t sure what to say. “Didn’t feel like standing in line. And Jisung slept over,” the words are bitter on his tongue, “I forgot about it when I agreed. And, uh, I forgot to check my phone. You know I don’t check my messages often, hyung.” He really did forget, and he really doesn’t check his phone often. All his friends know and expect to not receive a reply message from him unless two business days are over.

Minho shrugs, casual but not letting up. “You could’ve cancelled, but fine. What’s Jisung got to do with this? Everyone slept over yesterday.”

Changbin stops in his tracks, making Minho stop too and look at him in confusion. They’re right in front of the convenience store nearest to their apartment district. It’s the one that knows best about Minho’s and Jeongin’s love for ice cream in any season.

Somehow the way here passed by in a blur. A strong gush of wind passes by them and keeps it coming.

“Actually, I _am_ mad at you,” Changbin admits something that isn’t even true.

Minho grins in victory, eyes narrowed because of the wind, “Aha, I knew it. Spit it out, pabbit!”

“Jisung has finally admitted his feelings for you,” Changbin looks him in the eye and makes sure not to sound too mean. Just the right amount of sincerity and scolding in his tone. If he’s lucky he can end all of this mess today and Minho gets mad enough to just go kiss the stupid out of Jisung. Once and for all Changbin can destroy any hope he has for this stupid thing he feels and run down the road of getting over his feelings. “What the hell are you doing right now? Do everyone and yourself a favour by dating the poor kid already. You two have been pining long enough. I’m getting sick of watching this dumb romcom.” Changbin takes a deep breath. “Don’t act like you didn’t hear Jisung spouting all his soulmate bullshit about you two since forever. What’s so hard to believe? If you’re in love with someone, then just take the stick out of your ass and make a move already!”

The wind calms down. And Minho’s hair is a mess. The sun is setting behind him. Despite the warm sun rays, his eyes turn cold like the biting wind as he lets the word sink in. His gaze is on the floor, feet shuffling a little. Uneasy.

Too soon does Changbin think that he’s succeeded with his plan. Because Minho doesn’t sound mad when he speaks, he just sounds a little sad. “Who are you to tell me what to do?” words usually said in a biting tone are soft in Minho’s mouth.

 _I’m your friend._ Changbin feels stupid again, feels silenced.

Then Minho raises his gaze to meet his stunned one.

A weak smirk tugs at the corner of Minho’s lips and he quirks a brow, “I’m still having a hard time grasping anything of what’s going on. No one ever seems to be honest with me these days so…” He drops his eyes again with a scoff, the corners of his lips downturned the slightest bit. His hair messily falls over his forehead again and with his head down like that Changbin can’t see his eyes.

But his voice is still so soft. “I know I’m pretty hot,” he jokes quietly and sniffs once, “But I also know I’m hard to understand. So… this whole love thing seems like another league altogether. I don’t really know my way around. I told Jisung as much.”

There’s something else in those words that Changbin is sure Jisung must have noticed too.

Changbin drops the harsh tone and takes a step closer. “Minho hyung.”

Anybody else would get angry and defensive in this situation. A friend meddling too deeply in your personal business, telling you what to do, acting like they know everything better and calling you stupid. Why can’t Minho be normal for once? Why can’t Minho act as expected of him for once? Why does Minho have to be weird like this?

Minho looks up and there’s a crooked little smile on his face. His nose scrunches with a short sniff again.

With a sigh, Changbin spots that stupid leaf from before in Minho’s hair. It’s weird how the strong wind didn’t manage to get rid of it. Everything about Minho is weird. From the way one stray leaf stays in his hair through every mess, to the way he makes a friend or two fall in love with him.

Changbin takes the leaf out of his hair and holds it up to Minho.

“You’re not hard to love. You know that, right?”

Round sparkly eyes stare at the leaf and shine, turning into crescents again with a chuckle as he takes it into his own hands to examine it. What a brave leaf to stay this long. What’s so interesting about it, Minho?

They meet eyes again and Changbin is glad that, despite making Minho sad, he can make him laugh too. Changbin sees it in Minho’s contemplating eyes. That he isn’t the first person to tell him that today.

And that’s a good thing. It really is. It’s good that Minho hears the truth.

Jisung should tell and show him every day. Figuring out what goes on in Minho’s head isn’t really an easy feat but Jisung has been doing well, trying more and more, finding his way through the maze. Unlike Changbin, Jisung has always been honest about that. And Minho has always had a special spot reserved for Jisung in his little heart.

From the way Minho laughs at Jisung’s silly antics or the way he pulls a straight face when Jisung tries to impress him. Complaining about everything and anyone but never about Jisung beyond a whine for attention or too much attention (as if he doesn’t enjoy that part). Asking Jisung to quiet down or leave when he wants some alone-time but always having a fond smile on his face when Jisung listens only after the tenth try. Doing the exact same thing the other way around. The way Minho always has to be touching Jisung somehow; be it leaning against his side or having an arm around him or a hand on his. Always just spending time together. Minho isn’t picky with Jisung, even when he acts like he is for the fun of it.

When it comes to each other, those two are like magnets. Listening to Minho talk about Jisung or listening to Jisung talk about Minho, it’s all the same to Changbin.

It’s sweet and hurts all the same.

Despite every joke and popular belief, Minho has a lot of love to give.

A special kind is reserved for Jisung and it’s so natural that it surprises people every time but they just accept it. Changbin, too, accepts it but something inside of him just begs for honesty too. Like he hasn’t been watching long enough to know that Minho wants to be close to Jisung in other ways than friendship allows.

No one knows what goes on inside Minho’s head but it’s obvious, isn’t it? Not everyone can share chemistry like that. Fitting seamlessly together.

Minho’s voice is still so soft. His smile is so small but so genuine. Changbin just wants to miss Minho’s venom but he doesn’t; he hates that fact.

Changbin has something special for Minho too. What is he supposed to with it? What would Minho do with it? Should he wonder? Should he ever show Minho his truest colours too?

“Thank you for being honest with me, Changbinnie.”

Changbin scoffs at that but can’t force down the smile on his face as he turns around to continue their way home. He hears Minho happily follow just a few steps behind him.

_I’m never honest with you when it matters._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#7.14. P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Seo Changbin  
>  **Occupation:** Music Production Major/Finance Minor (3rd Semester)  
>  **Other (2) :** very prideful with a strict set of morals, not a fan of capitalism despite being born rich, knows how to keep things fun and take care of others, mentally and physically made himself become a sturdy person
> 
> * * *
> 
> i'm a little late this week but hey, i have another packed chapter to present. honestly this chapter took a little longer to write because i was very very verrry careful with it. by now you've probably noticed that i'm very particular about story construction... ( ⁀ᗢ⁀)◜✧˖°  
> have fun decoding as always. i hope you enjoyed reading! skz has so much going on too, i love it. btw it's so interesting and nice to hear what thoughts go through a reader's mind following the storyline. big thank you to everyone!  
> don't be shy, tell me everything you want. i always cherish every word. (´❛ ᴗ ❛`) ♡  
> i'd love to read your thoughts in the comments! ☆


	15. Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

Questions about chemistry between two people aren’t as easily answered as one might think. The more one thinks about the relationship they have with another person, the more one notices the complex webs that make it the way it is; even if it did seem like a very simple picture at first. It’s not only romance that matters but all sides and all types of dynamics. That includes familial, platonic, hateful, rivalrous, and more, even harder to describe ones. They all have their meaning in our lives and beings.

Carl Gustav Jung once said that the meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

The first time Professor Choi quoted those words, Seungmin found himself already agreeing. He still isn’t sure what her obsession with chemistry and people’s dynamics is (considering this is an extracurricular theatre course), but he does agree on the interesting aspects the quote simplifies. Chemistry is a wide metaphorical concept that works for many topics.

Like storytelling. And theatre maybe. The script for their show has been a collaborative work between a group of students (Lia, Mashiho, Yedam and Seungmin) and the other students of the course could always vote on whether it was okay or if there was something that needed to be changed. That’s how they ended up with scenes like this.

A few scenes ago, Jeongin’s character (a noble fairy knight) fought Hyunjin’s and Yeji’s characters (a trickster twin-duo turned heroic) while Seungmin’s character (a kind wizard) and the other ‘friends’ tried to bring peace back into the group to continue their way on to defeat the evil king of madness in the West. The story is, plainly told, about the friendship and love they acquire on their quest to save the land. It’s about how each role, no matter how small, matters to make it happen.

The two characters of Seungmin and Jeongin are standing in a corner. They’re not the main characters of the story; that’s on Hyunjin and Yeji. Seungmin and Jeongin are side characters that are carefully hinted at being romantically involved with each other throughout the story but nothing explicit ever happens. While the rest of the characters are off on the center of the stage where the main lights are, in the more dimmed lightning Jeongin has Seungmin caged by a fake brick wall with vines on it. They’re the focus for now and the other’s all have their mics muted as theirs echo in low voices throughout the auditorium.

Jeongin is a pretty good actor once he has practiced enough. Easy on the eyes too. “Hyung, if you look at me like that, it’s no wonder people keep misunderstanding, you know.”

Seungmin, while staying in character, thinks that Jeongin reminds him more of Minho than of Jisung here. A bit of heart flutter. But it works fine. “I almost got a little too serious here. My bad,” Seungmin says, voice flat and void of the worry he had to portray just seconds before. Then a sarcastic chuckle that sounds just as flat, “Aren’t we funny.”

It’s just one of the many scenes that Seungmin himself wrote and submitted. Professor Choi and the other students loved his submissions a lot, as expected the audience right now eats it up too. Still, the actual main love aspect of the story is with Hyunjin’s character and a rescued princess which is an absolute fan favourite so far. The crowd enjoys both. All of the story, really, but they seem extra immersed by the few meaningful scenes for Jeongin’s and Seungmin’s characters.

An epic love story of whirlwind romance can be exciting, but there’s something special about quiet loving too.

Once upon a time Han Jisung had said ‘ _Inspiration can be found anywhere. Anything can inspire you. Or not._ ’ And that’s literally nothing special or poetic but Seungmin really took that one to heart this time.

Even if that exact Han Jisung radiates some dark and aggressive energy from his seat in the first row with the rest of their friends, then Seungmin takes responsibility for that too. He isn’t scared of Jisung anyway and the scenes were too good not to use for the script.

And in the blink of an eye (or an amazing show that Seungmin is very proud of), the theatrics are over.

 _Fin._ The audience erupts into cheers at the end of the heroic story. Through the power of friendship and love the evil king of madness has been defeated at last.

(While everyone cheers and whistles, Jisung is yelling something else along the lines of profanities. His petite body can hold a lot of rage, Seungmin realises unimpressed. Ah, Retro Jisung? But Minho and Chan are holding Jisung back with amused grins just fine, so Seungmin enjoys that too.)

* * *

“Kim Seungmin! Please wait a moment!”

Short of leaving backstage to go home – out of costume, of course, because no human nor wizard needs those itchy fake elf ears any longer – Seungmin stops in his tracks and his two companions do the same. Hyunjin and Jeongin both make the exact same sigh and take a few steps away as to not be included in the conversation. Why? Because it’s Professor Choi. A middle-aged permanently over-excited psychology professor who’s obsessed with human relationships and theatre.

Professor Choi reaches him with her trademark smile and folded hands, “Dear, I just wanted to say thank you for your contributions to the course! There’s something I’ve been wondering, you see…”

Seungmin intently listens to her, polite and friendly as usual. “What is it?” As overbearing as she can be sometimes, she’s not a bad person. Just a little weird. It’s not like Seungmin can’t handle weird.

“Despite noble fairy knight Yeosung and the hot and cold wizard Minjun not being the main characters, they managed to steal a lot of hearts tonight. Their romantic implications and dynamics felt very real, but unrealistically soft too. A perfect fantasy of soulmates!” Professor Choi dreamily explains, her hands whooshing around and her body following the small movements. Seungmin takes it as a compliment. “Majority of the scenes between those two were written by you. Dear Seungmin, where did you get your inspiration from? Mayhaps, reality with dear Jeongin? Or is there something or someone else that inspired those scenes? I mean, the acorn from homeland left on the bed was my personal favourite. The deep warmth that came with knowing the nonchalant wizard thought about the comedic fairy knight, even apart from each other in mundane little ways… or maybe the scene where the wizard asks the knight about his feelings for him, such an unfulfilling conversation! But still. In general, I was really impressed!”

Ah. Yes. The acorn scene. Jisung is totally going to chew his ear off for this one later. At least Minho will be satisfied since Seungmin wrote it as something romantic and special instead of something weird (which it is, in this reality, if you ask Seungmin). “Well, uh,” Seungmin scratches his head, “I have some… interesting friends, to say the least.”

“Oh! I remember you’re friends with Christopher, aren’t you?” She excitedly claps her hands at the memory. She had spotted Seungmin a lot with Chan. And Minho. The relevance of that, you’ll hear now. “That must be it. Isn’t their dynamic just perfect? Christopher and Minho were my favourite pair last semester! Their work was immaculate! I’m happy they even brought me a gem like Seo Changbin. Are you friends with him too? Minho did quite a number on him in their little knight roles and pulled off their own plot-twist. Sneaky!” Gosh, she talks so much. Seungmin appreciates the praise but it’s getting late and everyone already left after cleaning up both the stage and behind the scenes. The rest of their friends are probably outside waiting for them. “But the audience and I, too, enjoyed it so… Ah! Don’t let me get carried away again! Your inspiration, was it that pair? Christopher and Minho?”

“No,” Seungmin replies simply, “It was Minho hyung, but with somebody else. I’m sure you’ve heard of that friend too. But, professor, we really have to go…”

“Oh gosh, I apologise! Let me take my leave as well. I was just so excited,” Professor Choi abashedly giggles and then gives Seungmin a knowing grin. “While my favourite is still the Christopher-Minho-Pair, you have piqued my curiosity, dear Seungmin. Do keep an eye on that new pair then if they inspire you so well. Goodbye!”

And she’s gone. Seungmin bows a quiet goodbye of relief, as do Hyunjin and Jeongin behind him.

“She’d eat the relationship between Minho hyung and Jisung _up_.”

Seungmin gives Hyunjin a look. Jeongin beats him to saying his thoughts, “Don’t even start. You’re becoming like her.”

“Hey, I’m just a concerned citizen,” Hyunjin puts both hands up in defense, “I didn’t even start any fights with Jisung lately.” Then pauses, thinks it over a moment and smiles brightly, “Not about that at least.”

“Let’s just go home,” Seungmin waves him off. Jisung is Hyunjin’s other little happy pill or, in other words, if they’re together they’re Dumb & Dumber. Loud & Louder.

Also, those two always leave a mess behind – in every sense of the word. Just ask any of their roommates or sleepover victims.

(At first Seungmin is glad to find out that the only ones waiting for them are Chan and Changbin but quickly learns that one should not celebrate too soon because as soon as he opens his apartment door, he finds not only Felix but the rest of the horde too. As well as the blurry silhouette of Jisung that tackles him. He thinks he hears a battle cry from Hyunjin.)

* * *

In a shocking turn of events, it’s Minho who saves Seungmin from getting mauled by an angry squirrel (or get torn up in a fight between said squirrel and a defensive weasel…). Seungmin isn’t sure whether it was truly to save him or just because Minho felt like it, but he’s thankful nonetheless. By now they’ve all calmed down, seated on the L-shaped couch in various sprawled out positions, as Jeongin goes through Netflix. Seungmin and Felix dressed down to their pyjamas a while ago.

Any danger emitting from particular human sources has been kept under wraps. Minho has his hand absent-mindedly stroking Jisung’s knee. Judging from how torn Jisung is between gazing at Minho and Minho’s hand with a warm little smile… and glaring at Seungmin on the other and of the couch… Let’s just say Seungmin is reminded of how Minho is actually a great guy.

“I’ll go get more snacks. We’re out of popcorn.” Face as blank as ever, as if he just got the idea in the middle of a conversation with Chan, Minho gets up and genuinely runs away like one of Felix’s favourite anime school girls – what’s he holding his pecs for?

Beside the now-empty seat Jisung watches him go with a sad look. Screw your knee, Jisung.

Well, Jisung is glaring at him again. From Seungmin’s left side Felix gets up to follow, then Chan follows them too and then three friends are in the kitchen while Seungmin is left alone with the more irresponsibly violent ones – he still isn’t sure about Jeongin’s position on that spectrum but Minho is, in fact, responsibly violent, Seungmin has to admit they do share some qualities.

So, naturally, Seungmin takes back what he said. Minho is not that great of a guy.

“Han Jisung, I see you and if you move even one muscle in Seungmin’s direction, I’ll have your head.”

But Seungmin also has Hyunjin, who’s currently laying with his head on Seungmin’s lap and narrowing his eyes into Jisung’s direction. The protective weasel, Hyunjin.

“Don’t fight.” Despite the strict tone, Jeongin continues flipping through different shows and movies. As if summoned to move, Changbin stretches and throws his body into a laying position. Head almost colliding with Hyunjin’s crotch – say thank you, Seungmin, for saving those jewels but no, Hyunjin is just blushing – and legs thrown over Jisung’s lap to keep him in place.

Changbin looks satisfied, head safely resting on Hyunjin’s hip. Seungmin offers him a pillow which he gladly takes. “Hey, Jisung, what’s a fun fact about weasels and squirrels?”

“Why would I know that?” Jisung grumbles immediately. Changbin gives him a look and Jisung is talking again. “Fine. Weasels feast on squirrels. Are you trying to imply something here?”

“Just checking whether you actually listen to Minho when he rattles off the newest animal facts from his classes,” Changbin shrugs but Seungmin knows better. Realistically speaking, Hyunjin would totally win in an actual physical fight. Maybe Jisung can outwit him though… Jisung can be really sneaky and underhanded sometimes. Never play games with him, he’ll cheat.

“Hey, Kim Seungmin, you wanna say something?” Jisung accuses from his side of the couch, cuddling a pillow to his chest from his lonely spot. “I can see it in your eyes. You’re calling me evil in your head.”

“I never called you evil.” No, Seungmin, don’t fall into his mindgames.

“Not to my face _yet_!”

“Stop fighting!” Jeongin says louder this time and gives them all a disapproving look. Then he moves to sit down on the carpet instead, leaning against the coffee table in front of him.

They quiet down.

“What’s taking them so long in the kitchen anyway?” Hyunjin mutters as he presses his face into Seungmin’s tummy. That tickles but it’s cute enough that Seungmin pets his hair anyway.

Changbin smirks evilly, throwing a pillow into the air and catching it before answering the question with another, “You think they’re discussing a three–”

Another pillow hits him straight in the face. “Get your head out of the gutter, hyung,” Jeongin says with as much disappointment as an old grandmother would to her teenage grandson with badly dyed hair of regret.

Just to be petty probably, Jisung also throws his pillow at Changbin, “Exactly, hyung. Don’t corrupt me.”

“How am _I_ corrupting _you_?”

“Why would you put that image into my head? Minho hyung displayed in such lewd ways… Do you have no shame? This isn’t the first time!”

“Huh? I don’t even know what you’re talking about!”

Well, Jisung must be sensitive today. Or maybe it really is all the poetic scenes from the play that set him off for tonight. But as long as Jisung’s energy isn’t directed at Seungmin himself, he’s fine. Also, it’s entertaining and fun.

In other words, Seungmin will not add to the fire but he won’t put it out either.

As Changbin and Jisung quarrel, Jeongin even joins the discussion. It turns into something weird and borderline philosophical, something about purity, society, kinks and the morality of wet dreams about friends. Somewhere along it all, Jisung forgets he was pissed off in the first place and gets really into making it all sound smart somehow. Changbin offers extensions of those theories and Jeongin either approves or lists arguments against them.

Netflix is forgotten so Seungmin gestures for Hyunjin to gently pry the remote from Jeongin’s distracted hand and turn the TV off. Saving energy. You know the drill.

“No, really, where are they?” Hyunjin asks quietly once he puts the remote back beside Jeongin on the floor. He looks up at Seungmin with wide curious eyes but Seungmin can only offer a shrug. That’s apparently enough for Hyunjin to say something really stupid. “Do you think now that Chan hyung and Felix are dating, they’re talking about Chan hyung’s history with Minho hyung? Or are they making us pizza?”

The living room immediately falls into a silence and three heads snap into their direction.

“Excuse me?” Jisung narrows his eyes and reaches up to massage his earlobes, “His–History?”

Great. Another can of worms. “Not what you think.” Seungmin thinks about it for a second. “At least I don’t think it’s what you think. Professor Choi just thinks they’re dating. She’s been loving the two ever since last semester’s theatre course where she paired them up for their chemistry. She thought the scenes were inspired by them, haha.” It’s a little amusing.

“No way… Did you correctly tell her that all those gay scenes you added were inspired by Minho hyung and me?” Jisung tilts his head, letting go of his earlobes dejectedly and looking down on his lap as he plays with his fingers. “If you told her, she’d think Minho hyung is dating me.”

“Weren’t you pissed about that?” Hyunjin throws in, turning in Seungmin’s lap to properly join the conversation.

Perfectly reminded, Jisung frowns with an expression that shows he’ll go off again. He does. “I wasn’t even sure what to be more pissed off at: the fact that you used me and Minho hyung for inspiration or the fact that you didn’t even fully use our personalities. You could have milked way more out of this! The acorn scene was a favourite, I admit but. Like. I mean. First of all, Minho hyung would have been an awesome fairy knight and I’d be a cool wizard. I can’t even imagine Minho hyung as a friendly wizard! He’d be a trickster of some kind and fairies are– that doesn’t matter right now! Kim Seungmin! Explain yourself!”

“You’re, like, way more evil genius than Minho hyung,” Changbin comments. “Wouldn’t Jeongin make a pretty good Minho hyung though? Jeongin’s been hanging out with him a lot lately too.”

Jeongin sighs while Jisung raises a finger but looks conflicted. “Is that first part… a compliment or an insult?” Then he shakes his head furiously. “I’m still pissed that me and hyung were used as inspiration, but it wasn’t that bad. I think Minho hyung likes me too, thanks to those scenes. Like I remembered each of them vividly and like, Minho hyung was a little embarrassed watching the scenes too so I think he did too… I’ll have to talk to him. Seungmin, you did what Hyunjin never could.”

Changbin strains his neck to look at Seungmin for a casual compliment, “You did your role pretty well. Really nailed the tsundere vibes.”

It sure feels nice to be praised. Seungmin smiles, “Thanks!”

“What’d Seungminnie do?” Hyunjin asks.

“Make me see that Minho hyung is in love with me too!” Jisung answers with the utmost pride, puffing out his chest and making jazz hands, “Magical. Dunno how I didn’t notice before. I mean, we’re super special but I thought I’d have to make him fall in love with me after making him believe me. Changbin hyung encouraged me very well to be successful. But wow, Minho hyung’s totally into me too!” Jisung sends Seungmin finger hearts with a huge grin. “Seungmin, for someone who’s got no interest or experience in romance, you sure are one hell of a cupid! An annoying one who exploits my relationship with Minho hyung for temporary fame, but still a cupid!”

Seungmin sighs but nods. “Well, I won’t comment on the feelings part but it’s not like I have no experience or interest in romance. I literally have a boyfriend. Going strong in our first year dating and all.”

Something definitely changes in the air. Seungmin can smell it. Like everyone farted quietly but tries not to be obvious about the stench. Seungmin frowns. Chan, Minho and Felix are still in the kitchen. With the way Hyunjin, Jisung and Jeongin stare at him, he feels the absolute creeps. Maybe they should come back soon. Seungmin would feel a lot more comfortable with more gentle vibes. Even Minho can give off cuddly cat vibes if he’s in the right mood. He’s less intimidating once you know his weak spots and the right words to turn him into a blushing softie. But Hyunjin, Jeongin and Jisung all look like varied levels of soulless all of a sudden. Only Changbin seems as confused as Seungmin is.

Then, Hyunjin scrambles off his lap with an unusual noise “Guah!” (making Changbin fall flat on the couch) and accidently falls right into Jeongin’s back where he rolls further, onto the carpet. “I can’t believe this!”

Seungmin cringes. That must’ve hurt. “Hyunjin? Are you crying right now?”

“No…” Hyunjin hides his face in his arms, pressing against the couch to hide his face more. And yeah, he’s definitely crying.

Jisung is already getting up to crouch near him, petting his knee like he’s afraid Hyunjin might bite. “Poor thing… Your love story really ends like this…”

“Seungmin hyung, how come I never knew?” Jeongin looks so sad. Oh no. Why?

“Yo, why is Hyunjin crying?” Seungmin truly missed that deep voice. Welcome back, Felix! Help your dear roommate and friend Seungmin out with this!

“Did you know about Seungmin’s boyfriend, ‘Lix?” Jisung wipes a non-existent tear off his cheek, while Hyunjin’s real sobs turn into background noise. Seungmin takes the couch’s throw blanket and moves down to bundle Hyunjin up but Hyunjin stubbornly refuses to move. What’s up with that?

Felix gasps, “No way… Hyunjin, I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? Why is Hyunjin crying?” Changbin finally sits up, seemingly fed up with the weird situation. Seungmin is glad he’s not the only one out of the loop.

“Hyunjin’s literally been in love with Seungmin since forever, you cold hearted bastard!” Jisung yells but immediately apologises at the threat of a fist from Changbin, “Sorry sorry… But seriously, hyung, it’s so sad! How are you so cold?!”

“This is more tragic than Romeo and Juliet… _I never knew Seungmin was a fuckboy_ …” Felix shakes his head sadly and for a hot second Seungmin wishes he never knew English. Felix disappears in the hallway, probably going back to the kitchen. Are they having a party there or something?

Anyway, back to this. Really? Seungmin meets eyes with Changbin. Truly, the peak of stupidity. Their friends are so stupid. Even Jeongin? Wow.

“Hyunjin, do you not know Seungmin’s boyfriend?” Changbin asks and from his spot on the couch, reaches down to squeeze Hyunjin’s shoulder in comfort. “Seungmin even asked him out by himself by the Han River. You really didn’t know?”

Hyunjin shakes his head and sobs out a quiet “No… a whole year and I didn’t know… and we kissed too…” which Seungmin rolls his eyes at. The sight of Hyunjin crying hurts his heart but knowing the reason for the tears is just not knowing about his boyfriend? Stupid. Just because Hyunjin’s been in love with Seungmin and Seungmin is dating? Pathetic, truly. All Seungmin has ever been is the type not to make gossip about others and their romantic lives. He’s never cared about romance enough in that aspect.

“For fuck’s sake, Seungmin, make your boyfriend stop crying already.”

Those words fall from Changbin’s lips and the whole room pauses again. Really, everyone, really?

Seungmin puts the blanket over Hyunjin as best as he can and pets his hair again, voice gentle and careful. “Hyunie, stop crying.”

Quite obedient, Hyunjin’s head snaps up to stare wide-eyed at Seungmin. It makes him smile, how positively shocked Hyunjin looks.

“Yeah,” Seungmin smiles at him and cups his cheek, “You’re the boyfriend, dumbass. But it seems you didn’t know about that so I wonder what I did wrong. Did you break up with me or something?”

He’s just teasing, really. Although he really doesn’t know what happened here for things to be like this. How come he’s been thinking of Hyunjin as his boyfriend for a whole year while Hyunjin had been cluelessly pining over him, even thinking his love is unrequited? No wonder Hyunjin only asked to kiss so recently… Either way, Hyunjin grabs his shoulders, frantically so, and shakes his head. “No!” he uses one hand to wipe away the tears and snot. Gosh, he really cried a lot in those few minutes. “No, I’d never break up with you! Seungminnie, I’m so… what…”

Seungmin shakes his head with a fond smile. He loves this dumbass. His very own dumbass. “It’s okay. Come on, let’s go to my room. I think we have a lot to talk about.”

Leaving the boys behind with a confused but happy, tear-stained Hyunjin in his arms, Seungmin hears a confused and quiet Jisung say: “Hyunjin can never lecture me about love again… How the fuck did he make this happen?”

Yeah, Seungmin isn’t sure either. From the start he’s been pretty blatant, direct and honest with his feelings about Hyunjin – for example, Seungmin lets Hyunjin touch him in any way he likes and never rejects his (sometimes cheesy) affections – or at least, that’s what he had been thinking all this time.

* * *

As per Changbin’s explanation the mystery is lifted. Jisung and Jeongin intently listen. Chan, Minho and Felix are still not back in the living room and the lovebirds will probably not come out of Seungmin’s bedroom anytime soon – not meant in a naughty way! But like, emotionally. That’s more intense anyway.

A year ago, in late spring, Seungmin had explicitly asked Hyunjin out on a date – Changbin emphasises the word ‘date’ – and of course, Hyunjin had happily agreed. The date? A cute little picnic by the Han River. There Seungmin had given Hyunjin a silver necklace and confidently asked ‘We’re on a date right now. Do you want to do this again? Let’s date, Hyunjin.’, you see, Changbin quotes those exact words because apparently, Seungmin had asked Chan, Minho and Changbin – hyung line and stuff – for advice and even practiced on them. And so, Hyunjin had happily agreed with an enthusiastic ‘Of course, Seungmin. Let’s date!’. So either Hyunjin had been thinking that was a joke – Jisung remembers Hyunjin gushing about that day a lot back then – or, like, he had selective amnesia or some shit about the _Let’s date_ part.

“… And that’s how Seungmin ended up dating Hyunjin. Or better said, we all thought they were dating from then on,” Changbin finishes the story. “But the way things are going makes me think we’re all really weird when it comes to love.”

It all makes sense, really, now that Jisung thinks about it, like, really thinks about it and all of Hyunjin’s interactions with Seungmin. It’s annoying how much sense it makes, only to realise it this late per explanation. Hmm.

“What the fuck?” That’s not from Jisung, that was Jeongin. Shocking. What’s with the dark expression! “I didn’t even know… If Hyunjin hyung breaks Seungmin hyung’s heart, I will not hesitate.”

“Not hesitate to what, scary child?” Jisung cautiously takes his legs up on the couch and leans further into the cushions, into safety.

But Jeongin doesn’t answer, just glowers, somehow managing to look cute and scary at the same time. Changbin takes that as the end for the conversation and lays back down on the couch comfortably. He picks up the remote again to turn the TV on and click through Netflix. Jisung lets the silence settle for a moment.

But only for a moment.

“Why do you think they take so long in the kitchen?”

“Why don’t you check?” Changbin suggests, disinterested. Fitting the topics of the day, he picks a romantic comedy. A recent Korean hit movie. Good for him. But maybe Jisung can get him to turn on a horror movie later. Minho always ends up cuddly somewhere in the middle of horror movies, it’s why Jisung enjoys watching horror movies with him so much.

Ah, uhm, and for the plot and cinematic entertainment, of course.

Anyway. Jisung gets up to find Minho. For some reason the hallway’s lights are turned off. The situation Seungmin and Hyunjin are in, reminds Jisung just a little of Minho and himself. The very stupid obliviousness to love and denial on different basis being the main points.

While Jisung can’t believe he’s a perfect example for love at first sight, as shallow as it may sound at first under that title, he also wonders about Minho. Thanks to Seungmin’s absolutely inappropriate use of their little special bond for inspiration for a damn university theatre play, exposing something so special and dear to Jisung to a whole audience… yeah, Jisung is still a little pissed about that but fine. It did do some good as well though. Jisung is pretty sure Minho is in love with him too. Maybe he’s as oblivious as Jisung used to be though? Or maybe Jisung is getting way to ahead of himself. Minho is a loveable loving person, ok? A flirt too. It’s hard to know Minho 100% sometimes but damn Jisung if he isn’t gonna try and figure Lee Minho out!

It’s just Felix in the kitchen.

“Yo,” Jisung greets Felix, entering the kitchen anyway. If Minho (and Chan) isn’t here then he must be in either of the bedrooms or in the bathroom. “Got any cookies?”

“Making some in the oven, actually,” Felix points, seated at the table with his smartphone in hand. “Hyungs helped me.”

“Nice,” Jisung nods. Homemade cookies at midnight, who is he to question a blessing? “So apparently, we got two official couples in our squad now,” he sighs and leans against a kitchen counter, arms crossing and sending Felix a grin, “I’ll be joining your ranks with Minho hyung soon, ‘Lix, mark my words. We’re gonna be so deep in love, someone will write songs about it. Probably me. Yup. Point is, I’ll love him _so_ hard once he lets me.”

Felix grins right back, “Right, hyungs told me. We really misunderstood, huh? I’m happy for them. But anyway!” Felix rests his chin prettily in his propped-up palms, “If Minho hyung’s okay with it, you gotta tell me how hard he likes to be loved. So far, I know that he likes a bit of bite.”

Jisung grins, “Yeah, I’ll–” he cuts himself off – no innocence left under this roof huh? – and narrows his eyes. “Absolutely fucking not, you horny gremlin.”

Felix pouts, “ _Party pooper_.”

“Don’t insult me in your sacred homeland tongue. At least insult me in my own sacred mother tongue,” Jisung rejects and steps closer to see what Felix does on his phone. Playing a mobile game, as expected. “Did you guys talk about anything interesting in here while we were stressed a room over?”

Felix gives him one short look with a raised brow. “You mean ‘Lixie baby, did Minho baby hyungie talk about me, _uwu_?’. The answer is yes. Yes, we did. We talked a lot. There was a lot going on. Not gonna tell you about anything though. Now that I’m in the inner circle, I have to be careful.”

“U-uw- what? What’s that mean?” Jisung may know the English language but whatever that uwu shit is, no idea. Typical Felix. “Wait, I don’t actually want to know. And I’ll ignore your betrayal too. You’re not gonna help me with my love story, huh?” Jisung dramatically clutches onto his chest, upping the expressions as well, “You’re just like Hyunjin! Pestering me but when it gets serious, you back out! Betrayal, I say!” Splendid. “Also, fuck your inner circle!”

Felix sighs one of his Felix-sighs and easily waves his dramatics off, “I’m not backing out per se… I’m just switching sides.”

“That’s literally betrayal.”

“Seungmin helped you today and look where it got him!”

“Touché.”

“Exactly,” Felix points, pausing his game to properly turn to Jisung. “I loved the acorn scene by the way. Seungmin and Jeongin really nailed your dynamic well. The whole ‘almost kisses but not really because one of us always panics out’ thing was really realistic. The winks, too. They even managed to turn your doctor roleplay thing into a scene in a fantasy story, haha!”

Low blow. “That wasn’t roleplay! Back then we all dressed up as doctors for that one costume party Chan hyung dragged us to, not just us. Minho hyung and I were just trying to see whether those cheap stethoscopes we bought really make it possible to hear our heartrate. Don’t act like you didn’t do the same with Changbin hyung…”

“I did, because I had a crush. ‘Hyungie, come closer ,let me hear your heart beat for me and– ow! No reason to get violent!”

“I didn’t say it like that! Minho hyung acted cute though, you wish you had seen the original, huh?”

“Dude, we were all there. Seungmin just wrote it into a script. You did sound like that too. If you don’t remember the actual memory, wasn’t Seungmin’s and Jeongin’s acting spot on enough to remind you? Man… Till the end no confession or kiss from the two side characters but we all knew they were in love. Art truly imitates life, huh.”

Sigh. Deep fucking sigh.

“… Fuck you. Where are Chan hyung and Minho hyung anyway?”

“In my room,” Felix casually replies, attention back to tapping away at his game.

“Why?” Jisung frowns, “It’s your room. Are they playing Switch?”

“Find out yourself,” Felix doesn’t look up from the screen but grins mischievously.

“Disgusting. You remind me of Changbin hyung,” Jisung rolls his eyes. Even a sunshine boy can have evil sides, there you have it. “Here I thought you were my twin…”

And so, Jisung makes his way to Felix’s room.

The hallway lights are still turned off but it’s not that dark anyway, with the light from the kitchen spending enough light to even see the painting of a vase of sunflowers between the two bedroom doors. Jisung stops for a moment to appreciate the art.

Sunflowers are the perfect flowers for both Felix and Seungmin. What’s a perfect flower for Minho? Roses are a little cliché but Danceracha did dance with blue roses on their last showcase and won, so maybe it really is blue roses for Minho. Or maybe a lily? Lilies, after all, carry a different meaning with each of the many colours they can possibly be. Like Minho, a beautiful kind of versatile. Jisung likes flowers. Jisung likes _Minho_. Maybe Jisung should google flower meanings later. Naver might tell him a thing or two. Maybe he can even get Minho to take a personality test with him later to find out which flower they each are. Just them two though.

All of Jisung’s favourite memories with Minho aren’t always easily captured by another. Not even observant Seungmin. Like a melodic little memory box. Jisung won’t even write it into a song, just to keep it dear to him. But easily captured or not, they’re all equally important to Jisung just because they’re with Minho. From just laying in bed next to each other or in each other’s arms, to casual touches that linger a little too long to be friendly, to coffee dates and horror movie nights or documentary marathons, to holding hands because ‘it’s too cold’, to picking each other up to go home together, to comforting each other on bad nights or bad days, to silent communication or words of affection, to teasing and bickering for fun, to staring a little too much… to realising you’re in love with your best friend.

It’s all very mundane. Jisung wants to add many more of many kinds.

 _Thud_. “For the last time, take it off!”

Jisung startles at the muffled yell. That’s definitely Minho’s voice.

“I can’t just take it off, I already– hey! Be gentle!” And that’s Chan’s.

Sounds suspicious. Jisung is already opening the door to see what’s going on – Minho is on the bed, straddling Chan’s hips, Minho is shirtless and only in his boxer briefs while Chan is wearing boxer briefs too but with a t-shirt on, a t-shirt at which Minho still insistently tugs while Chan froze the moment the door opened – and so, apparently to, also, stop it immediately because “What the fuck!”

“Hey, hey– no! N– Ji– Don’t!” Chan is already raising his hands in defense.

“Minho hyung, what are you doing!” Jisung grabs onto Minho’s bare arm to pry him off Chan because well, what the fuck. It’s a gentle but firm grip. “I don’t support this! They just started dating, hyung! You’re supposed to do this type of thing with me anyway! What the fuck!”

As much as Jisung pulls, Minho is pretty undeterred and now everyone is just yelling.

“Stop pulling _me_! Help me take his shirt off!”

“Exactly, _my_ shirt! I literally gave you my hoodie!”

“No undressing anyone, Minho hyung! Hands off!”

Suddenly Minho topples backwards on the bed and falls flat on his back with a quiet “Oh?”. Jisung stares at his hands for a second. Has he gotten stronger lately? Home-workouts really do pay off!

“What are you guys screaming about? It’s midnight, you heathens.” Nevermind. It’s just Changbin who helped Jisung pull Minho off Chan. Looking done with them as he crosses his arms.

(Unfortunately) Jisung wasn’t even part of this to receive that look. “I didn’t even do anything! They were gonna fu–”

“Chan hyung doesn’t let me wear his t-shirt…” Minho pouts and curls up into a ball, pulling a discarded hoodie – probably the one Chan yelled about a moment ago – over his half-naked body.

“I gave you my hoodie,” Chan defends with a soft sigh, having sat up. “It’s too cold for you to wear a t-shirt to sleep. Is it just because there’s a little cat on it? I’ll buy you a cat hoodie next time I’m out.”

Minho doesn’t seem to like that answer, he just pulls the hoodie in his clutches over his face too and stays quiet. The oversized hoodie does well in making Minho look small. Jisung likes that answer though. It’s definitely a better explanation than where his mind immediately went to. Apologies from a jealous idiot. Yes, he can admit it. Minho does get whiny and handsy when he’s sleepy after all, so Jisung should have known better.

Chan reaches over and pets the hiding body, “Hey, don’t sulk. I’ll sleep with you so you can have the hoodie, the t-shirt and _me_. How about it?”

Minho peeks out from the hoodie, but Jisung isn’t having it.

“No.” – “No.”

Hm? Jisung is a little surprised that Changbin answered at the same time as him but definitely won’t complain about the support. Minho sits up, fully out of his hiding place and body exposed again, with a glare he sends both Changbin and Jisung. All the pretty skin is kind of distracting though, Jisung is torn between wanting Minho to wear the hoodie, offering his own or just appreciating the opportunity.

Okay. Focus on the important things. Fine. He didn’t know they were going to sleepover but considering the time, it does make sense. “Hyungie, I’ll sleep with you, okay?” Jisung pulls his best puppy face and even puffs his cheeks out for extra effect and gently takes one of Minho’s hands into his, “You and me are the best combo. Come on.”

Before Minho can answer, Changbin grabs the hoodie only to throw it on Minho’s head. He’s very casual about everything today. “Wear the damn thing already. Let’s all sleep together in the living room. This is ‘Lix’s bed anyway.”

Now Jisung glares at Changbin. Betrayal. Truly. Understandable logic, but still.

Minho wears the hoodie, sitting there in his boxer briefs. Alright. Jisung moves his glare over to Chan, eyes narrowed more. Just a request. “Don’t go seducing my future boyfriend, Chan hyung. I can’t believe I have to tell you. Who knows what would’ve happened if you revealed your chocolate abs? No sexy times with Minho hyung for you. You’re a Felix-exclusive anyway… buzz off, cheater.”

“I see him naked a lot though,” Minho dryly comments.

“Context, hyung, _context_ ,” Jisung turns to him, eyes softer but tone still strict. “You know those shoulders and abs are irresistible once presented on a silver platter.”

Minho seems to consider it. With a smirk forming on his face.

“Don’t,” Jisung grabs his hand again, pulling Minho up to stand. “Imagine me instead. Like, uh…” Damn, home gym might not be the best after all. “You know, I… I have like, uh, a really nice waist. And arms. Think about those instead.”

“I know. Sure,” Minho’s smirk doesn’t leave and he still lets Jisung hold his hand too. “Everyone’s got their own charms, Jisungie.”

“By the way,” Chan throws in, a little meek, “Felix and I, uh, we have an open relationship but like only for you guys, so like, you’re all _free game_.”

“The English isn’t helping your case,” Changbin comments. “I don’t know what that means.”

The atmosphere turns a little too serious for two fully dressed men and two half-naked men to be in the same room but life happens as it wants. Or as Chan wants. He’s picking up sweatpants, then throws one to Minho to wear and then wears the other himself. “Felix and I have come to the conclusion that we love you guys very much. Like in every way.” Chan’s smile is almost blindingly soft and warm. “I love you guys, really. All seven of you. Felix, too. So we talked about it and said yo, poly sounds ok as long as it’s with them. And so, yeah, after the communication, you’re all – only you all – _free game_. So technically… if Minho wanted to have a good time with me then–”

Oh no. Jisung somehow feels the urge to protect Minho from a big bad wolf (Chan, but big good wolf who is only bad if he bones my soulmate). “Better not happen. Hands off.” Jisung pauses to look at Minho. Bottom line, it’s Minho’s own decision of course. “Hands off, please?”

Minho shrugs.

On the other side of the bed, standing there and still unimpressed and looking mildly annoyed too, Changbin sighs, “Congratulations on your relationship, Chan hyung.” Then he looks at Jisung and Minho, and so does Chan. Feeling weirdly protective again, Jisung steps in front of the now-dressed Minho. Their hands still intertwined, Jisung squeezes gently once. Changbin continues the same, “As for you two, let’s go back into the living room.”

“Let’s carry the futons over. I’m sleepy,” Minho adds and then, he drags Jisung along by the hand. Changbin and Chan share a fond scoff.

The night soon wants to bring slumber with the six of them sprawled all over the living room – couch and futons, half a pillow fort too. Hyunjin and Seungmin are silent in Seungmin’s bedroom. But of course, sleep is only on the agenda after they watch the end of Changbin’s romantic comedy movie, play a short round of mafia with lots of yelling from one half and lots of shushing from the another, fresh cookies, and then simply passing out. Jisung has even outwitted everyone into keeping Minho pressed between himself and Jeongin on a futon. The best cuddle pile to sleep in.

* * *

It’s 4:00 on the dot. Is this still considered night or can it be called a very early morning? One way or another Seungmin is suddenly awake and craves some water. Next to him, bundled in the sheets and hugged around him is a lightly snoring Hyunjin. There’s still a faint smile on his lips, despite being asleep.

Once Seungmin had explained his side of the story – a bit hurt and amused at the same time about the matter with his boyfriend/not-aware-boyfriend-but-now-boyfriend – Hyunjin had explained that he had thought it was meant in a friend-date kind of way which Seungmin hit him with a pillow for. Apparently Hyunjin would have never thought for Seungmin to confess (first).

Hey, Seungmin had planned for that date and confession _months_ before he had done it. All with the help of Chan, Minho and Changbin. Hyung-line really lives up to their name. Chan had been a gentle advisor, always minding feelings and comfort. Changbin had the best tips on physical aspects, which Seungmin never wanted to rush but wanted to be informed about – one of the reasons Seungmin only had his first kiss with Hyunjin a while ago and no, not as friends with benefits, Hyunjin! That’s so not Seungmin’s style! And of course, Minho, who had been very direct and honest, even gentle at times, so he expected the same of Seungmin. It helped, really.

Whatever. It’s 4 in the morning/night. Seungmin is thirsty and sleepy, so he’ll just go get a drink and then go to sleep again. Careful not to wake Hyunjin, Seungmin makes his way out of his bedroom.

Oh for fuck’s sake.

Not again.

“Hyung, are you okay?” comes Jisung’s hushed and gentle voice from the left-open bathroom down the hallway. Seungmin can see their shadows from his spot at his bedroom door, closed behind him.

Minho’s shadow is leaned back against the sink with Jisung’s shadow right in front of him. Minho’s voice sounds a little shaky, “Just a nightmare. Go back to sleep, Hannie.”

“No, I’ll stay with you.” Jisung’s whisper is full of determination one second and absolutely teasing the other, probably to distract Minho from his nightmare issue. “You like me so much, hyung.” Jisung’s shadow shows that he seems to have put his hand on Minho’s chest and steps even closer, almost touching chest to chest, “Make your heart beat for me instead. Look at you, blushing. You’re so cute, Minho hyung.”

Minho’s following chuckle is accompanied by Jisung’s. Hushed conversations and whispers felt on skin. Smug Jisung and smitten Minho.

Terrible. Seungmin feels goosebumps of the bad kind all over his skin. Then again… How are they just standing there flirting and joking but not kissing. Seungmin literally feels the tension from all the way over here. Oh man. Why does Seungmin always have to stumble upon their intimate moments so often? He doesn’t need any more inspiration or invasions of privacy. He can’t even back out. Okay, maybe he can just go to sleep again, but Seungmin just wants a glass of water. As tragedy goes, he has to pass the bathroom first to reach the kitchen or the living room. Seungmin really isn’t the type to eavesdrop.

There are just bad circumstances.

Or good, for Minho and Jisung. Kind of. Seungmin hopes the nightmare wasn’t too bad. Weird nightmares happen and Minho is, despite popular theories, still very human. And as humans also do, besides having nightmares, they love.

So Jisung is in love with Minho, huh? Honestly, after the long denial, Seungmin was shocked to hear that, in disbelief. Seungmin doesn’t really understand denying the existence of one’s own feelings – if you deny that hard, then sure, it’s not true if not wanted – but the human psyche is a complex world of chemistry too. Seungmin is a law major minoring in English, not a damn psych or chemistry major.

Good for Jisung to finally be honest with himself though. He seems to be happier, being in love with Minho. Seungmin wonders where it’ll take his two friends.

(For love to bloom it takes at least two.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#1.15. P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Kim Seungmin  
>  **Occupation:** Law Major/English Minor (2nd Semester), teaching assistant on tuesdays  
>  **Other (2) :** quite popular and well-liked by everyone except kids for some reason, makes a shy first impression but actually quite confident and can be outspoken, a calm person who is a good listener, quiet teasing is his favourite kind of teasing to do
> 
> * * *
> 
> hello, thank you for waiting and still being here for the story. (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡  
> lately things have been very stressful. there's barely time for breaks... sighhh.  
> oh sadly our weekly updates may go back to updates every seven to ten days. i'll keep a schedule! ♥ anyway, the stressful stuff aside, i will come back later to proof-read this again. for now i'm sleepy and tired.  
> i have a lot of fun writing this story and talking with everyone here, so thank you. skz are doing well with their all in jpn promotions too, it's awesome.  
> well it's a long chapter and hey, you've met prof choi! all in all, have you picked up on something? noticed something you haven't before? dropped or confirmed a theory? what are you thinking? there's a bit more to come... (≧◡≦)  
> have a safe and good week! as always, i'd love to read your thoughts in the comments! ☆


	16. Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Watching from the sidelines isn’t all too bad if you’re not too busy.

Without the light coming from the streetlamps outside the windows, the entire apartment would be pitch dark.

There’s no reason for Jisung to wake up when it still looks to be the middle of the night – at least that’s what he thinks until he notices the empty spot beside him. There’s a wide gap between him and Jeongin, where Minho used to be. Above them, when Jisung checks, Changbin’s back is turned to them, still sound asleep, just like Jeongin.

Only Minho is missing. Where is he?

Jisung feels wide awake. Getting up, he notices a line of light coming from somewhere in the hallway, so Jisung follows it. Without the blanket, the cold air and laminated floor bite against his exposed skin and bare feet.

The hallway is empty but the light source is confirmed. The bathroom door is left open by a crack.

Jisung slowly inches closer.

From the open space, he spots the mirror and less than half of Minho’s reflection – still in Chan’s oversized hoodie – but not his face. Something tells Jisung that Minho isn’t awake just to take a leak, so he carefully opens the door wider to lean against the doorframe.

Minho doesn’t flinch but he’s visibly caught off guard, judging by the look on his face when he sees Jisung through the mirror.

An almost absentminded mumble from Minho’s bitten-red lips that sounds like a secret, “Of course, it’s you.”

Hearing it, Jisung shrugs, attention on analysing the boy in front of him. Minho’s face is unusually pale and dripping wet, a bit of his fringe as well. He must have washed his face, leaning with his arms on the sink’s counter. There’s something tired in his eyes, lined red. Nothing Jisung hasn’t seen before.

This happens, just like it happens to every living thing sometimes. It must have been a nightmare.

Something must have shown in his face because Minho scoffs with a little half-smile and turns around to face him, casually leaning backwards against the sink instead and looking at Jisung with a raised brow. He doesn’t say anything, but he emits an aura of challenge.

Jisung just isn’t sure what the challenge is.

Still, he steps closer to stand in front of Minho. Up close, he can see how tired Minho really looks. He should probably go back to sleep soon.

After examining his face, Jisung meets Minho’s eyes and whispers a hushed and gentle, “Hyung, are you okay?”

Why does Minho look surprised? He blinks out of it quickly though, holding their eye contact with a neutral expression. He is dismissive, voice raspy from sleep. “Just a nightmare. Go back to sleep, Hannie.”

“No, I’ll stay with you.” No hesitation.

Minho tilts his head at the response.

Jisung is determined to stay and make Minho feel better, so he can get a well-deserved rest. Teasing him usually does the trick – Jisung is an experienced man – so he schools his worried expression into a mischievous grin. Anybody else would need a shoulder to cry on, but Minho usually just wants one to laugh with. “You like me so much, hyung.” Jisung puts his hand on Minho’s chest – feels that his heartbeat is still a little accelerated – and steps closer. Minho’s cheeks and ears flush pink almost instantly, which only widens Jisung’s grin. “Make your heart beat for me instead. Look at you, blushing. You’re so cute, hyung.”

Pink riding high on his features, Minho bursts into giggles, suppressed by a sweater paw, and tilts his head down. That makes Jisung easily laugh along – quietly too, minding the night hour. There’s healthy colour coming back to Minho’s skin and Jisung feels warm again. A warmth better than any blanket could give. Making Minho laugh is too easy sometimes.

But he has to swallow heavily when in the next moment, Minho unexpectedly leans forward to rest his forehead on his shoulder. It gets a little wet there since his face still isn’t completely dry but Jisung doesn’t mind. He feels Minho’s breath through his t-shirt when he opens his mouth to speak.

But in that exact moment Minho also circles his arms around Jisung’s waist and pulls him closer.

The words end up muffled and inaudible against his t-shirt. What did Minho say? It may have vaguely sounded like ‘déjà-vu’ but Jisung isn’t too sure, too caught up in their sudden proximity to properly catch the small words. The smell of lavender with a hint of sweat is more welcome than he’d like to admit. Jisung hugs him back, of course, arms loosely wrapping around his shoulders.

Could it be that tonight Minho wants the classic form of comfort after all?

“What did you say?” Jisung asks to make sure.

Minho shakes his head once, hiding his face further in the crook of Jisung’s neck. “Hmm,” the dismissive hum warmly tickles against Jisung’s skin, sending a bolt of electricity through his body. “Am I cute enough for you to keep me?”

Oh, _wow_.

His heart did a whole backflip. Fuck.

Jisung lets out a shaky breath, feeling a little overwhelmed all of a sudden. Even his knees feel slightly weak. He knows it’s a joke. Stupid jokes like this aren’t news between them. He wants to keep up, keep on teasing to make _Minho_ flustered again instead, say something witty, but his stupid mouth is faster than his brain. “Yes. _Yes_. Of course.”

As expected, Minho seems to like Jisung’s humiliatingly honest answer. Because Minho chuckles, shoulders shaking lightly, and then he nuzzles further until – _holy shit, Jisung is going to ascend to heaven on the spot_ – he presses a delicate kiss on the side of Jisung’s neck.

Unmistakeably real. Too real. The word ‘delicate’ isn’t even in Jisung’s daily vocabulary. There’s a pleasant buzz under his skin.

The undignified whine that leaves Jisung’s mouth or the way he feels like a heatwave only meant for summer washed over him in his friends’ bathroom makes Jisung feel so… exhilaratingly vulnerable. Right now, he knows, he’s completely wrapped around Minho’s little finger.

(He’s felt this way before. But he isn’t so scared of it anymore.)

It makes Minho feel accomplished, apparently. Because he slowly comes out of his hiding place at the embarrassing noise. Although he looks soft and pink, there’s a sly smile tugging at his culpable lips as he blinks up at Jisung through his eyelashes.

(Wicked. Will there be another kiss for the lips?)

If Jisung wasn’t so lost in the colour of his eyes, then maybe he’d be able to count each single eyelash by how close Minho still is. But that’s how he catches Minho steal a glance at his lips once, so he doesn’t really mind it so much.

But Jisung doesn’t understand. Minho is so confusing. What was that for? The kissed spot – now lonely – feels like a fresh burn mark on Jisung’s skin. Do Minho’s lips tingle the way Jisung’s skin does? Does Minho know how he affects Jisung?

Minho leans out of his embrace until he’s leaned back against the sink’s counter again, but he pulls Jisung just enough with him to still be close. Friends don’t do that, do they? And Minho’s hands slide to the front of Jisung’s t-shirt – touch featherlight, leaving goosebumps behind – to hold onto the fabric’s hem. The sleeves of the oversized hoodie hide Minho’s hands in them, only the tips of his fingers showing. His smile doesn’t drop. Sparkling eyes taking in the sight of a totally stupefied Jisung, whose own arms drop down, so his fingers can gently circle around the cotton on Minho’s wrists between them.

It’s so natural that it’s almost instinct. He just feels like he needs to hold onto him.

With a heartbeat this loud thrumming in his ears, Jisung isn’t sure if he’ll be able to properly listen to anything else but Minho – his entire being fixated. He swallows. Afraid he’ll miss something; he can’t take his eyes off Minho either. It’s like tunnel vision.

The air feels too hot to properly breathe in. It’s a weirdly exciting feeling.

But he tries not to hold his breath. Though that’s a little hard when Minho does so well at taking his breath away.

“Jisung…” Minho calls, quiet voice laced with something dangerously appealing. It’s an unusual choice of tone. Jisung has never heard his name come out of Minho’s mouth like that. He isn’t even sure whether Minho is just speaking that quietly or if his own heartbeat really is just that loud, but he leans forward to hear whatever Minho follows up with better anyway.

He tries his best not to get lost in something so minimal.

(One tiny press of soft lips against the skin of his neck has sealed Jisung’s fate. He’s a goner. Minho had never done that before.)

“You’re the cute one…” Minho trails off, still in that hushed tone and leaning a little closer, playful smile growing until his eyes are warmly smiling at Jisung too. Warm, very warm, but not the kind he is used to. A light tug on the hem of Jisung’s t-shirt. His voice is so soft. “…who likes me so much.”

Jisung feels dazed. All he wants right now is to wipe that smug look off Minho’s face – he licks his lips at the thought – preferably with a kiss. On the lips this time. With tongue, maybe.

Minho can’t really be so clueless about his influence on Jisung, can he?

And then, like it wasn’t there at all, Minho’s smile drops. Sharp brown eyes glazing over with something dark that sends Jisung’s pulse into another run. On top of that, Minho quirks a perfectly sculpted brow.

“Right?” A whisper so simply breathtaking. They’re not as close as in the hug before but Jisung feels like the question jumped on his skin anyway.

Spellbound, he can’t force his attention away. He isn’t even sure what he’s so nervously anticipating.

But, you see, Jisung’s always been a thinker. An introvert in every sense of the word that most of what he _is_ , happens on the inside first and foremost, which doesn’t make his loudness any less real. But rather, it’s energy from the inside too. As thinkers do, Jisung thinks about how yes, he likes Minho. So much. Minho who never fails to secure the titles of both home and adventure to Jisung. Like right now. He isn’t sure how he does it. Jisung knows Minho – who seems aloof and cold at times, only showing his warmer sides when he feels secure enough, when he feels like you earned his affection, or he’s sleepy enough and his defenses are low; or hides truths behind jokes and curtains; who’s kindest in the details; whose eyes and ears are more honest than his mouth could ever want to be; simple but complex, and a little weird maybe – Jisung knows Minho. But what he knows and what he has isn’t enough.

When it comes to Minho, Jisung becomes greedy. Similar to the way he feels about his music and lyrics. Can’t get enough, so he wants more. Jisung wants to explore Minho so much more.

In the here and now, Minho drops his gaze down to his hold on Jisung’s t-shirt hem with both of his hands, where Jisung’s fingers are still wrapped around his wrists. A slight pout forms on Minho’s lips as his eyes soften too.

It’s then that Jisung realises he had been unconsciously tightening his grip from the nerves, so he lets go. Arms uselessly back by his own sides, Jisung feels dizzy, despite their only point of contact still being only a piece of cotton.

Minho seems unbothered though, not stopping his own hold, nor gaze, on Jisung’s t-shirt.

And Jisung can only watch him as if hypnotised.

“Just… I just dreamt of falling,” Minho admits quietly, more to the t-shirt than to Jisung, and Jisung vaguely notices that he forgot to answer Minho’s question before. Jisung watches the way Minho’s lips form around the words so prettily. “Just a normal nightmare. Don’t really wanna talk about it though.”

When Minho looks up again, eyes round and a little insecure, Jisung finds his breath again with a small jolt. The haze in his mind starts to clear out.

Right. He gulps. Got a little lost there.

He’s glad Minho has decided to let him know after all. Jisung already expected the nightmare to be about falling. Minho dreams about falling, the way Jisung dreams about standing alone on a stage as a naked failure in front of an audience. Both are pretty cliché nightmares which they have shared with each other at multiple points in their friendship. Discussions about their nightmares usually start shy and awkward, only to end in deep topics leading to pretentious philosophy or teasing and jokes; whatever they feel like. So, if Minho doesn’t want to discuss it further, then they won’t.

What they have is simple like that.

Feeling so fond, he smiles at Minho, reaching up to gently ruffle through his dark sleep-tousled hair. “I see,” he says, watching Minho’s lips tug into a small grin of their own.

When Jisung slides his hand down from Minho’s hair to gently cup his cheek instead, Minho leans into the touch with that same grin, sending a flutter through Jisung’s chest. Minho must be sleepy.

“And why are _you_ awake?” he asks.

Jisung grins wide at the question. “To catch you?”

Pause.

Let’s be real, that was a pretty good line with neat delivery. So why does Jisung suddenly feel like he walked straight into a trap? A trap nobody but Jisung set himself up for.

“Ahh.” Minho makes a noise of understanding and smirks one of _those_ smirks. That’s scary, because Jisung doesn’t know what he’ll be hit with next. Then again, Minho has become quite unpredictable lately anyway. He reaches up to put his own hand – still a sweater paw (!) – over Jisung’s hand on his cheek. Jisung’s breath hitches lightly and he licks his lips. Minho tilts his head, or better said, nuzzles more into Jisung’s palm, looking more innocent than the glint in his eyes should allow.

“If I fall, you’ll catch me…” Deliberately thoughtful, lips just barely grazing Jisung’s hand on his cheek. Warm. So warm. Another light tug on Jisung’s t-shirt. “Promise?”

Breath hitching once, it’s Jisung’s turn to tilt his head, though in confusion. It’s hard to concentrate when Minho is like this. “Yeah…?” Is this Minho’s roundabout way of talking about their feelings? A little surer of himself, Jisung nods at Minho. His own voice is as breathless as he feels, “Yeah, promise.”

For some reason Minho schools his features into neutral consideration. And maybe there’s a hint of something else but Jisung doesn’t know what that is. He is unsure whether his eyes are as expressive as Minho’s, but Minho is staring deeply into them like they are anyway. And Jisung lets him look as much as he wants. There’s something off here but Jisung can’t quite identify _what_. He must have missed something about Minho after all.

“Hmm,” Minho hums then, a tender smile forms on his lips and his eyes are filled with something sparkling. “Thank you.”

Huh? Jisung blinks in surprise, “’Thank you’? For what?”

“Catching me, you idiot,” Minho answers like it’s obvious, eyes round, “Now, let’s go. There’s more.” Ah. Yeah. Okay? In usual Minho-fashion without any actual explanation – before Jisung can even think any further about anything – Minho escapes his hold but tugs him along by the hem of his t-shirt (which… that’s gotta be totally stretched out by all the tugging at this point). Naturally Jisung, confused but ready as ever, just lets himself get dragged along. He feels like he’ll like wherever this goes.

What are they going to do now? Minho definitely has a knack for building up anticipation.

Alas, that might just stay a mystery.

Because Minho stops right in the bathroom’s doorway and stares at the floor somewhere off to the side. “Oh?” he lets go of Jisung’s t-shirt, steps forward again and crouches down, “Seungminnie?”

“Seungmin?” Jisung echoes and joins him the little bit in the hallway to see.

There he is: Seungmin. Sitting right by the bathroom door on the cold floor, leaning against the wall and curled up with his legs pulled up and arms around them as his head rests against his forearms. Is he really asleep? He must’ve been eavesdropping again, that little shit. Seungmin always says he isn’t interested in gossip and then keeps pulling stunts like these. Really can’t have any privacy in this household, huh?

“Should I wake up him normally, slap him awake, pick him up to put into bed again or should we just leave him here, hmm…?” Minho mumbles (mostly to himself, Jisung guesses) and scratches his chin, looking somewhere between a frog ready to jump away and a cat considering their prey.

You know what? As Felix always says, _deserve_. Goodbye Seungmin. That’s what you get for playing spy and interrupting whatever Minho planned to do with Jisung. It’s, like, 4 in the morning for fuck’s sake. Let them live!

“You should slap h–”

“You’re so intense these days, Jisungie.” Minho says with a sigh, giving Jisung a thoughtful but fond look over his shoulder and pursing his lips, “Which reminds me, we should probably talk about that. But for now, I’ll carry Seungminnie back to his bed.”

“Sure,” Jisung deflates, “I guess I’ll just… uh, wait here, I guess. Yeah, I guess.”

“ _I guess_ you should go back to sleep too,” Minho huffs a quiet laugh and picks Seungmin up bridal style with little to no difficulty. “It’s late anyway. See you later. I’ll be back.”

And with that Minho carries Seungmin, who looks like an oversized baby because Seungmin is taller than Minho and yet the one being carried, back to his bedroom while Jisung just stands there for a while and watches them disappear around the corner.

It only takes a second for the cold to finally register back in Jisung’s very human nerves.

He hisses once and pads back into the living room, immediately rushing to lay back down on the futon and cover himself with the huge fluffy blanket, which he has to pull out of Jeongin’s hogging grip so they can share again. Jisung debates leaving the same gap from before between them but ends up deciding against it in case he falls asleep before Minho is back, since it might be harder to get back under the blanket for him then.

Cuddled back into the blankets next to Jeongin on the shared futon, Jisung waits for Minho. He should be back in a minute unless Hyunjin wakes up and starts something, which would make Seungmin wake up and then… yeah, troublesome boys. Especially Seungmin. People rarely ever expect him to be but Jisung knows better by now.

Anyway… he hopes it won’t take long because he wants to ask Minho what he meant and what they were going to do before they were basically interrupted in their one-sided mystery plans. And – _obviously_ – they should actually get some rest because it’s still in the middle of the night. Luckily no one else woke up.

There’s rustling from above.

Once Changbin, still asleep when Jisung checks, finds a better position to sleep in and stills again, there’s also movement from next to him.

When he checks on that too, he almost screams because Jeongin is staring at him.

“I heard whispering. Where’s Minho hyung?” Jeongin whispers the exact way a ghost child from a horror movie would ask, with eyes way too wide for how sleepy he looks. Seriously. The moonlight shining in from the window behind him just adds to the eeriness. Damn.

Jisung is still cringing from getting startled before but answers him anyway, “Seungmin fell asleep in the hallway so Minho hyung carried him back to–” he stops and stares incredulously, hissing quietly, “Did you just fall asleep on me?”

Of course, there’s no answer. Jeongin is already back in dreamland, leaving Jisung the only one awake again. This kid is unbelievable sometimes.

Whatever. There are already the soft taps of bare feet coming towards the living room from the hallway. All the lights are turned off by now.

Jisung turns to watch Minho arrive.

There. Minho appears, illuminated by the moonlight like some model straight out of a fashion magazine – if the magazine was about casual clothes out of the line of Channie’s Closet™, which is just that oversized hoodie and sweatpants. Hmm, maybe Jisung should try to get Minho to wear one of his clothes some time. Jisung has a bunch of oversized clothes which look badass on him but would make Minho look adorable. Hopefully Minho will like that idea. He did borrow shirts from Jisung before so it can’t be that impossible.

Anyways. Jisung opens the blanket, petting the unoccupied square couch pillow on the futon for his friend to take his place.

Having come through the dark, Minho squints against the moonlight hitting him straight in the face – even the moon can’t get enough – until he finally finds his way back to their futon and makes himself comfortable under the blanket next to him.

Jisung just watches patiently, waiting for the right moment to bring up the topics from before.

Minho turns so he can meet Jisung’s eyes, hair flaying on the pillow. And then he just… stares?

Jisung blinks. “Is there something you’d like to say, hyung?”

Minho nods. His eyes roll up in thought. His lips move around muted words, seemingly debating what to say or how to say it. Sure, Jisung wants to ask stuff too, about before, but he won’t interrupt Minho’s thought process for now.

“Okay,” Minho whispers with determination. He takes a deep breath and exhales. There’s a spark in his eyes. “I’ll be straight up and you have to be honest… I tried to make your heart beat faster in the bathroom. Uhm, officially as a… uhh, heartthrob. Did I do well? Did it work?”

Jisung blinks, again. So that must be why Minho kissed his neck! That’s why he was so… so… ah, so _smouldering_!

Is this still about finding out whether Jisung’s feelings are legit or not? Ugh, how would that help? What does Jisung have to do for Minho to believe it? Or is Minho just unsure of himself? What’s so hard to believe here? But if it helps, then whatever. Jisung isn’t complaining. (By the way, shouldn’t Jisung be the one asking ‘Did _I_ do well?’, since this is more about testing (?) Jisung than Minho, isn’t it?)

Where did Minho even get such an idea from though? Official heartthrob…? That doesn’t sound like something Minho would actually plan out himself. Unless…

Felix? Something smells fishy here.

Minho is still staring at him, impatiently searching his eyes for an answer. He looks too seriously invested for Jisung to start an interrogation… “Well,” he answers him instead, quiet and simple. He’s definitely blushing at the memories alone. “Of course, it worked.”

Just like that there’s a huge smile blossoming on Minho’s face. His entire expression lights up – not just from the moonlight trying to reach for him – even the spark in his eyes seem to intensify. It’s dazzling. _Minho_ is dazzling.

“Really?” Minho whispers eagerly, coming a little closer. “My heart was beating like crazy.”

“Oh,” Jisung gulps and exhales a shaky breath, feeling so warm again. Now he has to smile too because he feels giddy. _Minho’s heart was beating too?_ Jisung has to look away. Only able to steal shy glances at Minho while he tries to remember the situation more clearly. It might be that Jisung just wasn’t paying enough attention, too caught up with what Minho was doing for his brain to fully keep up. “What, uh, what did you do that for though?”

“Huh?” Minho’s eyes become round and then he explains, “I just wanted to try it once.”

“But… why?”

“Uhm… Jeongin has been telling me about his psychology classes. He found it funny that the lie detector method isn’t really valid in itself but all people have their tells about lies and truths, which often become more obvious if put to test. Yongbok told me to try some stuff on you if the chance comes up.” Minho smiles, “You gave me a perfect opening so I was reminded of it. I asked you about how much you like me.” He looks genuinely thankful at the end of his excited whispers. “Great job at distracting me, Hannie.”

“Of course, anytime, hyungie,” Jisung grins. But hold on… “Wait, _that’s_ how you tried to make my heart beat faster? What about the kiss, the touching, the… _the smouldering_?” This is a serious matter. Jisung hisses, even more quietly but more intensely, “The _kiss_?”

By the deep frown forming on Minho’s forehead, Jisung feels defeated. No way, he can’t be this clueless. Minho pouts a little, looking somewhere between insecure and confused, “Uh… I don’t know what you mean by smouldering, but I just did what I did because I wanted to.”

Jisung’s jaw drops slightly open, despite laying on his side with his cheek pressed against the pillow. Understanding Minho sure is hard. He mirrors Minho’s frown with his own, “You just…”

“Yeah,” Minho sighs, pursing his lips and oh no, it’s heartbreaking, “You didn’t like it?”

“No!” Jisung accidently says too loudly, feeling guilty for making Minho even look remotely sad, and then quiets down to a whisper again, shuffling closer. If he looks (and feels) like a blushing high schooler with a crush right now, then all he has to say is that life just be like that sometimes. “No, I _really_ liked it. You can kiss me anywhere anytime. Open hours 24/7.”

“Oh?” Minho raises a brow. The sides of his lips quirk up the slightest bit. (Jisung isn’t sure if he just imagines the barely concealed shyness in his voice or not.) He leans a little closer to whisper, “Be careful, I might take you up on that.”

“You should. I mean it.”

“So do I.”

“ _So,_ why not do it… right now?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Minho smiles again, lips curling at the ends gently like he isn’t totally aware of how he’s toying with Jisung right now. There’s a teasing lilt in his voice but Jisung knows he’s being honest. “I’ll think about it. I have a lot to think about these days, it’s terrible.” He rolls his eyes with a tired but light-hearted sigh.

And then, pausing with a blank expression, blinking like he realised something, he abruptly turns his back to Jisung and cuddles further into the blankets. He ends it all with only a clipped, “Good night.”

What… In disbelief of Minho’s cryptic behaviour, Jisung slaps his own forehead and rubs it.

Alright then. Fine. Minho can think about it. Considering how long it took Jisung to come to terms with his own feelings, it’s only fair for Minho take his time too. Minho doesn’t owe him anything but he’s already doing, well, whatever he is doing. And while Jisung isn’t too sure what goes on inside Minho’s head, he likes it a lot. Likes Minho a lot.

Even if it hurts – somewhere somehow – how unsure things seem to be. How Minho – who always understands him so perfectly – for once seems to be at a loss about Jisung.

As things are, Jisung takes it in stride. Because Minho is precious.

Despite a big heart (that he likes to hide), Minho has never been one to do things by the book. Always a little weird and unusual. That’s Minho. And Jisung can’t help but feel excited about what all of it means. If there is one thing he is sure of, it’s that no matter how Minho ends up feeling about Jisung, it won’t put a dent into their special bond. Filled with perfect chemistry.

It’s one of a kind, what they have.

And Minho is the easy-going type, unlike Jisung who is way more particular about what he does and who he interacts with. Jisung isn’t sure whether he could act as cool as Minho does if one of his friends had a crush on him. He’d be so awkward, but Minho just keeps gently being himself… so Jisung just feels grateful for that.

Moreover, Minho and Jisung are too deeply linked – it can only get closer from here. These feelings Jisung accidently ended up carrying with him, could never be offered to anybody else but Minho. It’s interesting how Minho’s smile has always had a different effect on him than anybody else’s, even stuffed in a bottle of denial. While they, as people, are full of differences, something between them has always clicked. Something unique, full of understanding and mystery all the same. Jisung just feels like – maybe it’s wishful thinking and too many episodes of shoujo anime – but he feels like they’re kind of made for each other.

Maybe he is too optimistic, maybe he’s reading too much into all of this, maybe–

“I can hear you thinking,” Minho interrupts his stream of thoughts with a yawn. “Sleep.”

Ah, of course. Jisung smiles with a little hum. Pulling Minho closer by circling his arms around his waist, he nuzzles into the back of his warm neck with his cold nose and feels Minho shiver. _You mean so much to me, Minho hyung._ “Good night.”

* * *

“Do you think he’ll eat the whole tub of ice cream fully asleep, before Chan hyung comes back?”

A valid question if you ask Jeongin. Seungmin is currently sitting on the floor in front of the couch, feeding Jisung, who’s still very deeply asleep on the futon, strawberry ice cream. Somehow it works and Jisung actually eats each spoonful. Neither Seungmin nor Jeongin expected that to happen, since Seungmin just wanted to prank Jisung and Jeongin only followed to watch. It’s ended up being funny enough, he supposes. That’s what you get for sleeping with an open mouth.

“I don’t know,” Seungmin replies, very focused on his task.

Honestly, Jisung deserves to be the victim of this prank (if this even still counts as one). While they all woke up at different intervals, it’s around 13 o’clock but he’s still asleep! …Well, okay, so is Hyunjin, but apparently, he’s under Seungmin’s protection (safe and sound in his bedroom) right now. Jeongin isn’t going to comment on it but ever since last night, he’s been feeling a little bitter about the whole thing. One whole year of dating and no one told Jeongin. That’s so mean.

What kind of best friends are they if they don’t even share these important happenings?! But Jeongin is too cool to show how bitter he is about it, okay? In the end… all of them – Jeongin himself included – are dumbasses.

“Shouldn’t we celebrate the start of semester holidays and your successful premiere yesterday with more than just bubble tea and donuts?” Changbin asks from where he’s sprawled wide in the corner of the L-shaped couch, next to Jeongin. The ones left at home – still at Seungmin’s and Felix’s apartment – are Changbin, Hyunjin, Jisung, Seungmin and Jeongin, while the rest went off to buy bubble tea and donuts.

“I feel like we have a lot-t-t-t to celebrate!” more loud whining by Changbin. Yes, he pronounced those Ts like a DJ sound mixer.

Seungmin is still too focused on filling Jisung’s probably freezing yet accepting cheeks with ice cream but he replies, “What do you suggest we do?”

Changbin doesn’t think too long about it. Or maybe he just thinks out loud. “Gaming arcade? VR gaming arcade? Bar? Partying? Karaoke? Bowling? Mini golf– no, wait, I hate mini golf but the rest is fine. Add to it if you want. I think we can get everyone to join. We can choose something nice for tomorrow.”

“We can do paintball,” Jeongin suggests and massages his own shoulder a little. Hm. He should probably up his gym regimen as well. “I want to work my emotions out.”

“By shooting your friends with paintballs?” Changbin incredulously gasps, acting like a baby, “I feel like I’m in danger. Let’s do something with less potential for violence.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t have beef with you right now.” Changbin sputters at Jeongin’s reply but it’s the truth: Changbin, for once, has nothing to fear. Jeongin doesn’t have any problem with him at all lately and even if he acts ‘cute’ right now, Jeongin has bigger issues to focus on than Changbin spreading second-hand embarrassment. Like his bestest friend of best friends forgetting to tell him of important life events or the last paper of the semester he has to submit by Sunday midnight.

Huh. Wait.

“What day is it?”

At that Seungmin looks up. The ice cream tub is almost empty. “It’s Sunday. The premiere was last night, Saturday at eight. Why, what’s up?” Jeongin feels something cold crawl down his spine and just stares into nothing for a moment. Because, _oh no_.

It’s then that they all hear the apartment door open and running steps until Minho appears in the doorway, “Surprise!” and throws something very pink straight at Changbin’s face – who closes his eyes just in time, freezing up – where it perfectly – _smack!_ – lands with a splat.

It seems… kind of sticky because it stays there.

“I brought home one of your friends, Changbinnie!” Minho proudly announces with a wide smile while Changbin, visibly very disgusted, peels off the pink thing from his face with two careful fingers and examines it once he can open his eyes again.

A toy squid made out of… not sure what it is but it’s squishy and kind of sticky, Jeongin is reminded of those cheap toys filled with something most likely poisonous that no child should actually play with, but you can get at the flea market easily anyway.

“Getting attacked in my own home…” Changbin sighs with the utmost over-dramatic disappointment, staring at the sad excuse of a toy squid.

“You don’t even live here, but hey, Minho hyung thought of you. Isn’t that sweet?” Felix appears in the doorway, carrying those huge paper cupholders with 4 drinks per small hand. “Hello everyone.” He starts taking the drinks out to put on the coffee table, which is still by the wall since Jisung has been occupying the futon in the middle of the room all morning and till now.

Jisung waves at Felix, “’Sup?” When did he wake up? Seungmin still feeds him the last spoonful of ice cream from the tub though which he just accepts and swallows down before he speaks up again, looking at Changbin and then the pink toy squid in his hands, “Did that really touch your face? You should probably wash up.”

“Hey, I picked it out very carefully!” Minho defends his disgusting toy immediately.

And that’s when Chan appears, paper bags in his hands and also joining Felix by the coffee table to empty the contents, “The bubble tea shop gave everyone who bought four or more drinks one of those toy squids or a seahorse plushie. They all come in pink, blue and white. Apparently, it’s for some sea life charity.”

“Seriously?” Changbin dramatically wiggles the squid toy in Minho’s direction like a weapon and Minho immediately ducks down behind Seungmin on the floor. “Why would you choose this– You little–”

“I really think we should play paintball,” Jeongin interrupts, having blankly watched the whole spectacle and decided he’s had enough of it. “Personal or not, I have a feeling we all need it. Communication is key, right?”

Seungmin shakes his head at him, giving Changbin some wet wipes which Felix handed him. “Maybe when the atmosphere is more peaceful. I don’t want anyone making out or starting a fight in public. Both are embarrassing and I know Chan hyung and I would have to deal with it. The library incident was enough.”

Considering that Seungmin and Hyunjin are one of the two couples in this friendgroup, he’d be the one ending up making out in public and Jeongin would start a fight over it at this point. Bet.

(Okay, maybe not a fight. But a very well thought out plan of revenge. What is he avenging? His dying bestest friend status.)

“Oh?” Minho lights up, showing up again from behind Seungmin with his hands on his shoulders, “What about the arcade? They have those alien plushies in the new crane games and I want some. And we can use the photobooths for cute photos.” Ohh, alien plushies? Nice!

Jisung holds up his hand again, finally sitting up and wiping his messy mouth with his t-shirt collar. Ew. He looks at Minho, casually making promises, “Let’s do that. I’ll win you one.”

“Pfft,” Minho raises an unimpressed brow, “Dude, I’m better than you at the cranes.”

“Not if I’m in my final form.”

“Which is?”

Jisung pulls out the puppy eyes, “In love and determined?”

As Chan sits down next to Jeongin on the couch and sighs an almost inaudible ‘Gosh, Retro Jisung…’, Changbin adds onto the conversation directly. “Well, do your best. Don’t half-ass it.”

Minho nods, “Well said.” Then points at Jisung, “You better not give up until you win me at least one plushie then. Prepare to waste a lot of money.”

“I have like…” Fingers raised to count, Jisung trails off before he looks at Jeongin who doesn’t really want to be involved in the conversation and regrets being his roommate, “I don’t have much money, do I?”

Taking pity on him, Jeongin answers anyway, “You only have 20.000₩ left for the month because you bought a bunch of home fitness equipment.”

Jisung stills, then slowly turns to look at Minho again. (Seungmin is right between them and not liking third-wheeling at all.)

“I will do my best,” Jisung says, unnecessarily serious, “A reward would probably boost both my luck and ability though…” Jisung trails off again, this time biting his lips nervously, a suspicious glint in his eyes and a hand motioning for Minho to ‘get it’.

Minho just blinks at him, eyes roaming Jisung’s face for answers, seemingly not getting it.

Neither is Jeongin. So… A reward like what, you lovesick fool? Jeongin thinks it can’t be anything material because then he could just save the money for himself instead of asking Minho for a reward. Ugh, wait, is it something cheesy like–

“ _True love’s kiss!_ ” Changbin squeals and then promptly starts making exaggerated kissing noises and faces. Ugh, Changbin with his wingman career. “Give him a kiss. Mwah, mwah, mwah, m–”

Minho smacks him in the face with a pillow, a deadly glare on top of it. “I’ll hit you for real if I hear one more disgusting smack of lips from you.” That’s one way to silence a loud Changbin.

Chan and Felix laugh. Jisung and Seungmin are both already opening their mouths to say something and honestly? Jeongin is just not feeling it today. Minho and Changbin could start a fist fight for all he cares. A paper is waiting for him. (Okay, he would care but it would be a huge inconvenience.)

“Everyone just get your drinks and donuts. No fighting,” Chan sighs, the first one interfering before a wrestling match (or worse) can start. He even gets up and manhandles Minho to his feet from behind – Seungmin sighs in relief at being freed from the metaphorical claws (Minho’s small hands) – Minho just lets it happen by playing deadweight, like a tired grumpy cat letting his owner do as they please. Jeongin feels with him.

Chan drops Minho onto the couch. Or more like, onto Jeongin. “Hngg!” He whines helplessly under the sudden weight. As Minho keeps playing deadweight on top of him and laying his head back on his shoulder, Jeongin just decides to join in on that and no, that absolutely does not count as cuddling. It’s weird, they’re tired. Chan hyung, please stop cooing.

“Anyways, I have a program to test so I can send the final product to Prof Hui,” Felix gets up from where he was seated on the floor, grabbing his donut and drink with him and walking towards the hallway, “I’ll be in my room if you need me.”

(Sigh. Jeongin should totally follow Serious Sunshine Felix’s example…) As easy as that Chan’s attention is caught and he follows Felix into his bedroom, food in hand, which apparently prompts Seungmin to look at Jeongin, for some stupid reason, and say, “I’ll be in my room too. Gotta catch up on stuff.”

Jeongin narrows his eyes. What a fiend! “’Stuff’ like kissing and nasty shit, huh?”

Minho, Changbin and Jisung collectively, and dramatically, gasp. What, acting like you never heard Jeongin curse? Leave him alone. Seungmin looks offended, “Maybe.”

“Have fun,” Jeongin does not mean it. “But. But come back to me later.” _That_ he means. Can’t believe he said that.

In an instant Seungmin’s eyes soften.

From Jeongin’s lap, Minho reaches over his shoulder to pinch Jeongin’s cheeks gently and coo, “Our Innie is so cute.” To which Seungmin nods and smiles at Jeongin, “I’ll be back in a while.” With that, he’s gone too.

And that’s how Jeongin ends up alone in the living room with only Minho, Jisung and Changbin. Honestly judging by the weird gut feeling he suddenly gets, he just wants to go home. Someone needs to finish his stupid paper before midnight. Honestly he’ll probably be able to finish in about four hours if he gets into it. He’ll leave in half an hour and be productive at the dorms. Hmm, Jeongin puts his arms around Minho’s waist and takes a deep breath, nodding to himself. If he doesn’t get distracted it’s all easy!

“How long until Chan hyung and Seungmin realise I stole their wallets? Any bets?”

Oh, Minho… Changbin and Jisung look somewhere between too shocked and too impressed to react. When did Minho even get the chance to steal their wallets? Scarily sneaky.

No, Jeongin isn’t easily distracted, it’s just that he’s remembered one of the many reasons he enjoys Minho’s presence. And there are multiple reasons why Jeongin likes to cuddle with Minho.

For one, Minho doesn’t make a big deal out of it. They’re mutually silent on the fact that they’re cuddling and if anyone calls them out on it, they’ll act disgusted or disinterested. For two, if Minho does make a big deal about it, it’s not about the cuddling per se but mostly about mutually deciding to conceal the cuddling as bugging each other instead. All in all, it fits Jeongin’s tastes.

(Ah… tsun… tsundere…?)

And for three, whenever Minho and Jeongin are left alone in some random corner, they get the best ideas. Or Minho lets Jeongin join some ~~evil~~ fun plan.

“If you let me hide Seungmin hyung’s wallet, I’ll make sure he doesn’t find it until next morning and won’t know a thing?” Jeongin offers his partner in crime. It’ll be perfect.

(“Can I have a role too?” Jisung timidly asks but Changbin waves him off with a tired ‘Just let the cat and fox play among themselves.’. It’s just the safer option. Minho and Jeongin are already too busy scheming to pay attention, laughing together. Jisung and Changbin end up going to look for Felix’s Nintendo Switch.)

Who the bad influence is in this dynamic isn’t so clear as one might think either. They’re on pretty even ground, which Jeongin appreciates.

Oh, not to forget reason four! Jeongin is really ticklish and Minho is really sensitive to touch, so they mind both of that whenever they end up close, despite some much-needed mutual teasing from time to time. Although Jeongin still doesn’t get what the hell goes on in that mind of his sometimes. A permanent air of 4D mystery around one Lee Minho.

Jeongin guesses, that’s part of Minho’s charm. Jisung has chewed his ears off about all of Minho’s charms often enough after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#8.16. P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Lee Minho  
>  **Occupation:** Zoology Major (3rd Semester), member and assistant instructor of local dance studio  
>  **Other (2) :** is still perplexed that Seungmin's first impression of him was a typical Church Boy™ (which he actively ruined), the other dancers at the studio ship him with hyunjin, big on independence but actually enjoys being spoiled by his loved ones but shhh!, permanently misses his cats soonie, doongie and dori
> 
> * * *
> 
> hello, thank you for waiting! i hope you're all doing well despite stressful things!! (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡  
> just letting you know, this chapter was actually way longer. i divided it into two. this part is filled with a bunch of, uhm, little important things. also, it has many different versions because i was so torn on how to write it best and now we have multiple scenes just... put aside... for now? ¯\\_ಠ_ಠ_/¯  
> anyway, i'm having fun with the story, i hope you too! let me offer you a tiny teasing hint for next chapter: jeongin's senses are rightfully tingling. he should listen to his gut.  
> but what do you think after reading all of this?  
> i'd really love to read your thoughts in the comments! ☆


	17. Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't be shy. Are you going all in?

“I can’t believe they’re sending _us_ to pick up these idiots,” Jeongin mutters as Chan’s keys dangle in his hand, opening the apartment door. At least the hyung-line had taken the time to clean up recently. “Can’t they ever be on time? For once? Why do I have to suffer the consequences of their actions?”

Jisung only shrugs, following him inside. “Because you wanted to go paintballing so badly that Chan hyung had to leave earlier with Minho hyung and Seungmin to land a spot at that new outdoor place. These are, in fact, the consequences of your own actions, my dear friend.”

Alright, when put that way, it makes sense. All of this really is Jeongin’s fault after all. Yesterday he took the time to convince Minho, his partner in crime, that paintball was the best choice and would have so many benefits. With only a little prodding and acting cute, Jeongin got his vote.

And having Minho and Jeongin work together to get the power of Chan on their side? Easy! Afterwards Jeongin could leave to finish his paper just in time with a spot-free mind!

And yet, this is where it has landed him… why are Changbin and Hyunjin so slow in the mornings… it’s not even early morning. It’s 11 o’clock, damn it.

(At least he’s still got Seungmin’s wallet, ha. What productive times, right?)

In the end Jeongin can’t help but pout, going straight for Hyunjin’s room where they find a sticky note on the closed door that says ‘If you read this, it’s too late’ and then another note under it once Jeongin yanks the first one off that says ‘Just kidding, I woke up to 20 text messages and 8 missed calls. I ran. Seungminnie has waited long enough for me. See you later. ♡’ And to that, Jeongin can only sigh and crumble the stupid thing in his hands, wishing the poor piece of paper was Hyunjin instead.

“Aw, you’re so grumpy today. Do you want me to kiss it better?”

Jeongin shoves Jisung’s puckered lips away without even looking and goes for the next destination: Changbin’s room. Luckily (or not) there is no note at that door. Jisung whines behind him, “I can’t believe I keep getting rejected…”

“How? Hasn’t it become a pattern by now?” Jeongin casually throws over his shoulder, entering Changbin’s room only to find shadows. The curtains are drawn. There is an unassuming lump cuddled under the blankets. Jeongin smacks his own forehead so hard that it’s a little surprising that Changbin doesn’t wake up.

On the other hand, Jisung just strides straight up to the bed and plops down on Changbin’s hidden figure which immediately elicits a pained sleepy groan and then a muffled ‘Han Jisung, you will meet your timely demise.’ to which Jisung simply smiles and pats the fluffy head that pops out from underneath the blanket. “Sure, sure,” Jisung says, “If Minho hyung and Seungmin don’t get to you first for being late.”

Pure bedhead and confusion, Changbin frowns (Jeongin isn’t even sure his eyes are open), “Late…?”

“Celebratory Paintball!” Jisung announces, throwing his hands in the air with a grin, and then purses his lips, “As per Yang Jeongin’s wishes: ‘Violence is always the answer’.” For the record, Jeongin has literally never said such a thing. He’s a peaceful fella; for the most part.

Changbin’s eyes comically widen with the realisation of possible impending doom. In the next second both the blanket and Jisung are thrown off the bed in a haste and Changbin stumbles clumsily over to the floor length mirror next to his closet. “They told me they’d wake me up! What… what time is it?” he rasps out, taking a second to look over his appearance before throwing open the closet for clothes.

Only to haphazardly choose random pieces. It’s still relatively dark in here, by the way. Jeongin crosses his arms over his chest. “We wanted to meet at our dorms by 10:30.” He looks down at the wristwatch he doesn’t have. “And right now it’s like 11:30. Please hurry up, hyung.”

“Yeah, hyung,” Jisung gets up from where he landed on the carpet, rubbing his sore butt. He comes back to stand next to Jeongin to flick the lights on by the door, no one caring about Changbin changing clothes in front of them. “You’re really trying to piss people off when we’ll get literal guns into our hands?” He puts his hands on his hips. “Although this gave Felix the chance to get some coffee for us, so personally, I’m not mad.”

“Paintball guns,” Jeongin corrects the first part. Whatever they are called. Someone will probably tell them later. Either way, Jeongin isn’t interested in watching Changbin undress so he decides to take in the room instead.

He rarely ever goes in here for some reason. The unmade bed aside, it seems the hyung-line really must’ve cleaned up everywhere. The room shows Changbin’s colours; literally. It’s like Changbin couldn’t decide between a dark theme and a soft pastel theme.

But before Jeongin can further judge, he spots something on the shelf above the white desk. With all the photos – of himself with close friends (them and that one Wooyoung dude), his family, a single portrait of his sister – there is something disgustingly and familiarly pink in the mix. Hmm. Jeongin walks over for a closer inspection but doesn’t touch it. Its weird stickiness would probably make it unpleasant to take off the shelf anyway.

“I thought Seungmin hyung threw this away…? Changbin hyung, you took it home and kept it?”

“Oh!” Jisung’s voice lights up, just like his face, shuffling closer to see it properly too, “Isn’t that the toy squid from yesterday? You even cleaned it!”

As if on cue for an answer, Jeongin and Jisung turn around at the same time. Changbin is fully dressed, only his hair is still in disarray. He doesn’t even meet their eyes and simply dismisses them, “It’s a present. Why would I throw it away…” That mumble is obviously not an actual question. Changbin leaves for the bathroom.

“Because it’s disgusting?” Jeongin replies anyway and turns to Jisung, “Right? I mean it looks better cleaned up, but it’s still a weird squid.”

Jisung smiles, looking at the pink toy and probably remembering Minho throwing it at Changbin’s face with way too much fondness than appropriate. “It’s from Minho hyung.” He says. There is that lovesick look in Jisung’s eyes again which Jeongin kind of wants to gag at. Then he turns to Jeongin, the smile turning into a bright grin, “I’d keep it too.”

Just like that acorn that’s still on the nightstand beside his bed back at the dorms – and that was before Jisung even acknowledged his feelings. Oh well.

Jeongin flicks his forehead, “Because you’re in love. That’s different.”

* * *

After a train ride to the outskirts of Seoul and an earful for the latecomers, the eight friends are fully reunited and find themselves guided by Chan, to a modern and medium-sized building in the middle of the woods. Well, Chan did say the paintball session was planned to be held outdoors. The building looks as new and unknown as Chan had told them this morning too. There’s a big sign on top reading ‘Paintball Station – For friends with vigour!’, which all of them eye with a variety of emotions between disdain, suspicion and curiosity.

Thankfully it’s sunny with only a slight chill in the air. Everyone’s warmly and comfortably dressed for the occasion.

As soon as they enter the lobby through the shiny glass doors, Minho and Jisung spot the lone crane machine in a corner and rush towards it, somehow both pulling at each other as if they’re not both eager to play, accompanied by incoherent yelling. Jeongin follows them with interest, seeing the plushies. On the other hand, Chan goes to check in at the counter where a worker is already welcoming them with a smile. Judging by the familiarity, the guy seems to be one of Chan’s many friends.

Everyone else makes themselves comfortable in the waiting area that looks like a futuristic living room.

“I feel like an astronaut,” Felix says, in awe of the dark blue leather sofas and comic theme of the place. “Actually, I expected the place to look more like Call Of–”

“No ads,” Hyunjin interrupts and pulls Seungmin to sit beside him, then throws an arm around him. “Seungminnie, let’s be on the same team. I want to crush our enemies.”

“There’ll be teams?” Changbin asks, sitting down on Seungmin’s other side and effectively sandwiching the younger between him and Hyunjin. He pulls his smartphone out and opens Naver, “I’m gonna look up the rules before someone gets hurt. And by ‘someone’ I mean me.”

“Paintball hurts only a bit,” Felix comments from Hyunjin’s other side. “Do you think we can split up Minho hyung and Jisung so we can win by sending Minho hyung after Jisung?”

Hyunjin gasps, “Felix, you’re so evil. I didn’t know you could be like this…” Then grins, “No, I knew. I’m in.”

Seungmin shakes his head with a sigh. Well, since Jisung is so naively in love – not that Seungmin cares much but he believes it after Hyunjin metaphorically but passionately powerpointed him through it – it’ll do well to use Minho, who is already a good player choice on his own, as a distracting trap. Also, Minho and Jisung being a combination in one team is dangerous because they’re basically fluent in wordless communication when it comes to each other in stuff like games… the whole soulmate thing they keep pulling would just be unfair here. Felix and Hyunjin seem to agree as they discuss further strategy, dramatically serious.

Usually Changbin is the first to protest Minho and Jisung joining the same team but he’s been silent so far. He probably hasn’t been listening. Just as Seungmin turns to Changbin to ask about his opinion and whether he’d like to join their unofficial team as well, he pauses at the expression on Changbin’s face.

The phone seems forgotten, loosely in his hand on his lap as he leans against the armrest of the sofa with his elbow on it and hand prodding thoughtfully at his own lips. His eyes are directed to Minho, Jisung and Jeongin at the crane machine.

There, Jisung has his hands on each side of Minho’s waist in a very loose backhug and his chin hovering over Minho’s shoulder. They both watch Jeongin play his rounds with smiles on their faces. Faces close, they also exchange quiet words into each other’s ears, unlike their loud excitement from before.

Perhaps Changbin is thinking of teasing them again but doesn’t he look too… what’s the word again? … _dark_ for that?

Seungmin isn’t sure how to interpret this – it doesn’t come close to Chan’s fond gazes or Felix’s curious stares. ‘Dark’ fits Changbin surprisingly well though. It’s not like it’s the first time Seungmin has seen this look on Changbin’s face, it’s just that he still doesn’t know what to make of it. Not to mention, some people just have resting bitch face and that’s totally okay.

So, Seungmin puts his arm around Changbin instead, “Hyung, you alright? You look a little lost in thought.”

“Oh?” Changbin shakes his head once, visibly startled out of it. He nods at Seungmin, expression turning neutral (so it wasn’t his resting bitch face after all) as he clears his throat to elaborate, “Yeah, all good. Those three over there look happy, it’s nice to see.”

Hm, that doesn’t seem to be the whole story but Seungmin lets it slide with a smile for now. Shoving a fingerheart in Changbin’s face does the trick of flustering him into a laugh. It easily catches Hyunjin’s and Felix’s attention and then they start teasing Changbin too.

As they’re busy again, Seungmin looks over to the crane machine to see Minho take his turn and Jisung standing close still, one hand still resting on Minho’s hip – did he just _smell_ Minho? Seungmin shakes his head – and he notices that, for a while now, they’ve _mostly_ been back to their old ways of creating their own little world. He does wonder where that’ll lead those two now with romantic feelings in play.

But that’s none of Seungmin’s business.

Jeongin is cheering and pointing at a specific plushie he seems to badly want. He must’ve saved some money to waste on that thing. It could be an alien, considering the spaceship theme. They didn’t actually miss out on anything for not going to the arcade, huh?

“Okay, everyone! Matthew hyung said we got Area 22 for our round. Let’s do rock-paper-scissors for teams and get ready!”

With that Chan calls over the three at the crane machine as well, so the worker/friend-of-Chan Matthew can explain the rules to their group of eight. After that everything happens quickly, they are divided into teams and they leave to get the paintball gear on in two separate locker rooms with the same space theme as the rest of the building.

Because Seungmin is haunted by bad luck and misfortune he has ended up in a probably headache-inducing team consisting of Changbin, Jisung and Jeongin. Though Jeongin is rarely ever a problem. Honestly, he’s the one good thing about this.

Their team of four solemnly watches as Hyunjin and Felix excitedly holler with their arms around each other’s shoulders and Minho jumps on Chan’s back for a piggyback ride further into the woods (since their team won yet another round of rock-paper-scissors against theirs, they’re allowed five minutes to leave the checkpoint first). There is something about knowing your team will lose and Seungmin – a rather competitive person in every sense of the word – does not like it one bit.

Either way, their paintball gear and equipment kind of makes them look a little like a bunch of wannabe spies.

“Fate is playing with me,” Jisung declares, paintball marker (yes, that’s the professional title of the paintball gun) in both hands like a plotting main character as he loads it. They all have sturdy paintball goggles on that remind Seungmin more of futuristic motorcycle helmets than actual goggles but what can a man do about official names, you know. “Do you think I can pull a kiss and run on Minho hyung?”

“You better mean a hit and run.” Jeongin crosses his arms and despite the helmet hiding half his face except his eyes through the (actual) goggle part, his disgust is clear. “I’m warning you, I will take you out with my own two hands if I catch any locked lips.” Then the sharp eyes stick to Seungmin, “Same goes for you. I only trust Changbin hyung right now.”

“Thanks,” Changbin comments sarcastically. Honestly, Seungmin ignores the comment and instead admits to himself that Changbin’s body just seems to be made for gear like this. The safety equipment actually makes him look very attractive.

“Stop ogling Changbin hyung,” Jeongin snaps. “I will tell Hyunjin hyung.”

Changbin giggles and puts a hand in front of his helmet where his mouth would be, “Ohoho, you’re checking me out, Seungminnie? You’re allowed to touch, my honey.”

With a long sigh, Seungmin pinches the bridge of his nose. But before he can destroy Changbin’s self-confidence again, the timer around his wrist beeps.

Finally it’s time to go so Seungmin takes the first step as the unspoken leader. The other three reflexively follow. The leaves and sticks on the dirt crunch beneath their sneakers (and Jisung’s boots; maybe Seungmin should have worn boots too… it seems to fit the area and gear more).

Not only do they have to shoot each opponent at least three times with paint to take someone out, but they also get points for every ‘gold coin’ they find (fake gold coins which are like 10cm in diameter). There’s a lot to do.

Their yellow team, identifiable by the yellow band on their biceps, should probably discuss strategies before they run into any evil traps laid by the red team of Chan, Minho, Hyunjin and Felix.

* * *

“You know, I really believed you’d make _me_ the bait but I’m so glad you choose Hyunjin because I would have literally peed my pants if you guys left me alone in such an open area.”

Chan reaches across Minho’s body and strokes Felix’s helmet (or paintball goggles but it really is just a helmet) with a smile that isn’t visible anyway but it’s about the _message_ , dude. “I would never do that to you, Felix.”

“But to Hyunjin?”

“Since he said that he likes the idea with an evil smile, I’m going to assume he can take it.”

“Shh!” Minho shushes Felix and Chan without even looking at them, completely immersed in his role as a paintball sniper and protector of their official bait Hwang Hyunjin.

Currently Chan, Felix and Minho are hidden in the middle of some huge bushes they’ve found, right at the border of an open clearing of the woods where Hyunjin – a good distance but not too far away – acts like he’s aimlessly walking around and looking for gold coins. There’s a big boulder near him in case he needs to duck. Their plan was discussed beforehand and as things have turned out, Hyunjin is their bait to lure the other team into a sense of security only to ambush them!

Or snipe them, per Minho’s excited wishes to try it out. He is laying on his tummy, elbows propped up to hold his paintball gun equipped with a lens to see far ahead. He’s been aiming at Hyunjin to watch over him through their bush.

Chan pats his back from where he’s sitting with Felix on each side of him, also on the dirt. “You’re taking this more serious than I thought you would, Minho. I feel kinda proud.”

“Can’t pass up on the opportunity to fight Seungminnie,” Minho mumbles almost absent-mindedly, “I want to see my puppy painted red.”

Felix visibly shudders, “Ominous…”

“It’s just paint, Yongbokie. Have a little faith in me…” Offended, Minho actually looks over his shoulder to say that. Yeah, the only reason Minho is ever competitive is to make games more fun because he doesn’t actually care about winning itself that much (unless it’s to rub it in the losers’ faces). He just likes to spend time with his friends; that secret softie. Chan has seen right through him a long time ago. “Also, you guys did say the loser has to buy the winner dinner, so I’d like some good food on the table tonight.”

Ah yes. A good price like food is also a motivator, of course. Same for Chan. “You could just cook? You’re awesome and it’ll save us the money in case we lose,” he suggests because Minho’s cooking skills alone – next to his loveable unique personality and dashing looks, of course – are enough for Minho to be considered marriage material. Unexpectedly, the dancer is quite the king when it comes to Korean dishes.

“ _’You could just cook?’_ ,” Minho mocks him with high-pitch and shrugging shoulders, “Make your boyfriend cook, not me. Do I look like your damn housewife?” It’s like he senses Chan’s answer because he’s already speaking again, tone flat, “No, I do not. Let’s just not lose.”

Hmm. When it comes to western food, then Felix has been learning a lot lately, that much is true. Chan has been an avid food tester since the beginning after all. Minho is right. And Felix is definitely laughing. The helmet isn’t hiding those shaking shoulders, muffled snorts and smiling eyes. Sunshine personified, really.

With a fond sigh, Chan gives in before Minho ends up paintballing him instead. “I wanted to say househusband, but fine,” he looks out onto the field where Hyunjin is. “Camping is boring though. When do you guys want me to go for the kill?”

Since Danceracha has their own established dynamic as a team, Chan has been happily following their lead for the most part. It’s nice to see the kids have fun after all.

“I think we should just stay put for now,” Felix rests his helmet-heavy head on his palms, which are propped up on his knees since he sits criss-cross. “If anything, let’s use Minho hyung to take out Jisungie. After that we can surround Changbin hyung and Innie together. We went over a lot of scenarios so let’s just see what happens for now.”

As they’ve discussed with the bonus of Felix’s videogame experiences before already, their ideas aren’t bad at all.

Even in daily life Chan basically deems Minho their secret weapon for any of Jisung’s moods because Minho does a good job at taking care of Jisung in whatever way is needed in the situation. And when distraction is needed here, he’ll probably have something up his sleeve too. But then again, wouldn’t that logic work with Hyunjin and Seungmin too? What if Hyunjin falls into a Seungmin trap? Hopefully not.

“I want the rich kids to pay,” Minho thoughtfully says, still rooted to his spot (‘rich kids’ of the other team being Changbin and Seungmin), “But I don’t know about that strategy.”

* * *

“Do you think they purposefully made us split up this way so they can go kiss their lovers? Pulling a Romeo and Juliet?” Jeongin asks and tries not to pout – man, he’s been doing that way too much lately – walking side by side with Changbin.

Just a few minutes ago their team of four had decided to split up so they can cover more ground. Apparently leaving Jisung alone is dangerous because the red team might send out Minho after him, which Jisung has vehemently denied would influence his own will to win. But to be safe, they decided on splitting into two and Seungmin volunteered to go with Jisung. Those two left for another direction, while Jeongin and Changbin have been staying on the track they were already on.

“Nah,” Changbin casually replies, eyes watchful around their area. “Do you, like, have a crush on Seungmin or something? Ever since the ‘news’ of their relationship, you weren’t exactly happy.”

Jeongin blushes only a little. He frowns, holding his paintball marker higher. He’s been raised in an honest family as an honest human being – and he trusts Changbin most of the time – so of course, he’s honest right now too. “I don’t think so.”

“You don’t _think_ so? The crush or your mood?” Changbin actually stops and looks at him for that, his eyes wide behind the paintball goggles. “No way. You gotta be kidding me. So you do have a crush on Seungmin?”

Jeongin stops too. “I said I do not!” he snaps maybe a little too loudly. What the hell? He quickly quiets down though, despite feeling wronged. They should try their best to be quiet before their opponents find them first. “At least I don’t think so. Shut up, hyung.”

“Like I implied, that’s not very convincing,” Changbin seems to smile behind those stupid goggles or helmet or whatever. “Okay, nevermind that. You’re not sure how you feel about him? Let’s start there then.”

“Thank you,” Jeongin throws a hand in the air. That’s literally what he said and meant. Just because he isn’t sure what his feelings mean, doesn’t mean it automatically has to be romantic love. It doesn’t make much sense to him. Most importantly, he isn’t like Jisung in these matters either. “This is why I usually talk to Minho hyung and Seungmin hyung about my stuff and not any of you. Don’t overthink my honesty, Changbin hyung.”

“Ouch, alright,” Changbin puts his hands in the air in defense with a laugh, not actually bothered by the comment.

They all have someone else to go to for different things after all; the way Changbin has weekly phone calls with his older sister or long talks with Seungmin, and Minho takes care of Chan who likes to hide his negative feelings. Doesn’t mean they’re not still best friends with the others or that they’d never talk to another about serious matters. For example, talk to Changbin in Jeongin’s case now. Anyway, it’s just a preference who they naturally end up with most.

Changbin seems to try analysing him. “Well, if you’re not sure, how do you plan on finding out? Or getting over him in case that ends up true?”

“I don’t know but I don’t care that much,” Jeongin explains, initial annoyance and embarrassment fading. “I’m fine as things are… uhm. No, actually, as things _were_. Everyone seems to be falling in love. I don’t want to be left behind… Hey, hyung, don’t give me that pitying look. I’m fine, really, it just bugs me that… that my best friend has so little time for me lately.”

“We’re all your best friends,” Changbin steps closer and lightly punches his arm with playful eyes. “You’re saying Seungmin is a more special friend? That’s possible. Then, would you mind seeing him kiss someone that’s not you? Kiss Hyunjin?”

“Kiss?” Jeongin blinks, a little surprised but considering it. “I’m not sure. I don’t like the thought of it but I haven’t really seen it happen yet. And I don’t want to see it either but that’s the case for any of you, no offense.” Then he looks down at his sneakers and shuffles his feet a little in the leaves. He thinks of what he’s seen of love in their friendship circle so far. “It doesn’t feel like romantic jealousy though. I think it’s an entirely different range of feelings. When I look at Jisung hyung for example, he’s only freshly admitted and confessed everything but has always been kind of, you know, weird and possessive when it came to Minho hyung. And Hyunjin hyung, too, who used to be so oblivious to Seungmin hyung’s feelings that he had his guard up all the time about others with Seungmin hyung… It’s weird. I think Jisung hyung and Hyunjin hyung have it worse than me when it comes to that.”

Changbin scoffs and turns his head away. He starts walking again, voice light and fond in a distant way, “Yeah, they… they’ve got it bad. But everyone can feel differently about everything, so you’ll just have to check for yourself on how you feel. And… what to do with those feelings.”

Jeongin doesn’t follow him yet. “Woah… that’s rare, you kind of sounded cool just now.”

At that Changbin twirls around, posing like a power ranger with the paintball marker held high above his head and a peace sign with his other hand. “You think so?”

That’s what he gets for complimenting him. Jeongin shakes his head and walks up to him to pat his shoulder once, prompting them both to continue their track to find the opposing team members.

They’re silent only for a few short moments.

“So… you think I need to see Seungmin hyung kiss Hyunjin hyung to get over these feelings?” Yes, Jeongin did just ask that. In case he has those types of feelings for Seungmin, then he’d like to get rid of them as soon as possible. He doesn’t think it’s like that, while Seungmin is special to him, it’s not in _that_ way. Seungmin is just… Seungmin. Jeongin’s bestest of best friends who he platonically loves just like the rest of his idiots.

A friend he’s been missing lately.

But Changbin only shrugs, looking at a loss himself. “You…” he pauses and shrugs again, “…gotta find out for yourself. Whatever works for you.”

Feelings can be quite hard to deal with. Jeongin didn’t expect Changbin to give such well thought out advice. Again, Jeongin thinks it must be stemming from experiences he hasn’t heard of yet.

Experiences that make Changbin look at the sky and mumble, “Falling for a friend that is promised to another friend is a stupid thing to do, Jeongin. In the end you should be happy for them if they are.”

Yes, Jeongin totally understands that but… Hold on a minute. Jeongin halts again, watching Changbin’s broad back as the older keeps walking, seemingly back to watching his surroundings.

Something here is wrong, isn’t it?

Suddenly it all hits Jeongin: the strange tension, the longing eyes and sighs, the comforting and encouragement of both Jisung and Minho followed by pushing them together, the sudden changes of atmosphere, and even back at the crane machine when Jeongin caught him staring at Minho and Jisung, the weird amounts of highs and lows in the teasing of them… the pink squid toy! … Jeongin hasn’t been interpreting much into these little things as he just took them at face value but now…?

All of a sudden all of it just make sense. _All of it_.

The small things are what show your love just as much as big things do, Jeongin has already known that for a while now but feels like he has learned it anew just now. The approaching footsteps in the dirt barely register in his mind. Everything makes sense because Jeongin may not be in love with Seungmin, but Changbin and Jisung are both in love with the same person – with _Minho_ – and yet, the two of them have an entirely different deck of cards to play the game with. The way they look at Minho is the same yet very different, and what they get back is also not comparable at all.

Jeongin is surprised that he hasn’t noticed this earlier. In a way it doesn’t make any sense that Changbin would fall for Minho of all people. What happened?

If you ask Jeongin then Jisung made sense in every way there is – from day one on, it had already clicked between him and Minho, which laid the foundation for everything else that followed; all the love visible in Jisung’s eyes and actions even through a thick-headed disguise of denial, the softness, the uniqueness in bond, the fear and the helpless longing, all for Minho. There is this natural chemistry between them that would have forced such intensity one way or another.

Then… what is it about Changbin?

Jeongin isn’t sure what to feel besides bafflement. Someone should’ve noticed this way earlier. When did this start? Is this really how things are? Jeongin wishes for misunderstanding. He isn’t good at dealing with something so fragile… but Chan is. Where is Chan? Does he know? Does no one know about this?

Gosh, does _Changbin_ even know or is this another case of painful denial? Is Jeongin even interpreting everything correctly? 

“Hey guys, we found–”

“You’re in love with Minho hyung?”

Changbin stops and Jeongin snaps his mouth shut, realising that he’s just blurted that out – too loud too – and finally registers the approaching presence of their friends and team members who freeze but not because of the cold breeze coming through.

The unreadable look in Jisung’s eyes should be enough of a hint, but Seungmin’s awkward movement of switching glances between Changbin, Jisung and Jeongin is also an obvious hint that they’ve definitely heard that last part.

Oh no…

Uhm.

Communication is key, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#6.12.17. P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Yang Jeongin  
>  **Other (3) :** has favourites and is afraid to talk about it, his major has actually been giving him a lot of insight into how humans fundamentally work, worries about worrying others, often wins karaoke nights by choosing old trot songs and acing them for his own mini concert  
>  **How do you feel about the current events?:** “I have finished a psychology paper, which was my last assignment for the semester so that’s a good thing. Realising I may or may not have just outed my friend’s feelings to our other friends, one of which has the same feelings for the same person, may just trouble me a little from now on. Somehow I feel responsible. It makes me want to try living in denial for once, but I feel like it’s too late for that now. I need broader shoulders for this responsibility. Please wish me luck!”
> 
> * * *
> 
> dudududunnn! thank you for waiting, hopefully the week has been treating you well. (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡  
> also, i hope you've enjoyed the chapter and anticipate the drama!!  
> it has come. the day of unveil for yet another person’s feelings. i’m so excited to show you how things will go from here on. but as always, i shall not say too much for now. there is a lot going on. hehe.  
> i’ll let you figure it out. so, what do you think?  
> i'd love to read your thoughts in the comments! ☆


	18. Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thing about love and every other emotion is that they all come in different shapes, sizes, colours, and whatever else they make you feel. 
> 
> What you do about that comes after.

Minho shudders.

“Ah… Something very cold just crawled down my spine.”

In an instant Chan makes to take off his gear, probably to lend Minho his jacket underneath, but Felix spots the action early enough to wave him off with a mouthed ‘Don’t’ because nobody should want to break the rules only to be paintballed point-black – that can hurt like a bitch. It’s a sweet gesture though, he’ll admit.

“A sign, an omen,” Felix nods instead. “A… a glitch.”

(Chan perks up again at the words, “That sounds familiar somehow…” But Minho and Felix both ignore him this time.)

“Time for us to go all in, I suppose,” Minho says, dramatically serious. He hasn’t moved from his sniper spot laid down on the floor ever since they arrived here. Felix is suspecting that he just wants to move as little as possible for the game – typical. A little boring but as long as he plays along and their team wins, Felix has no problem with it because he remembers one time where Minho moved a lot for a game, which was a blindfolded pillow fight, that only ended up in a violent battle of fluff with Seungmin.

It… It really was a sight to see. (Felix caught them cuddled asleep together afterwards but nobody believed him.)

Anyway. It’s not like anyone in their team has been moving much except Hyunjin. From here it looks like he’s been doing fine so far though. The area is booked for two hours anyway, so there’s no rush. Still, Felix should be ready to go as well.

“Is it finally my turn?” Chan grabs his paintball marker off the bush beside him and stands up to stretch. Nice view. Very nice. Then he makes sure his gear is properly on, adjusting his helmet as well. Minho and Felix just give him a nod. They had discussed some solid strategies after all. Chan smiles brightly at them and salutes before he runs off in silent steps.

What is not known to many is the fact that the brutally competitive members of their friend group are the ones that may not look like the type to be.

This paintball session has turned into an amazingly even battleground.

There is a scream somewhere in the distance – sounding vaguely like Jeongin – and the birds fly off their trees. The eerie feeling Minho felt crawl down his spine, only now registers in Felix’s own body, as if it isn’t only about paintball or fun.

When they spot Seungmin casually approach a careful Hyunjin in the distance, Felix tells Minho to be as accurate as possible with his sniper shots, takes his own paintball marker in hand and gets up to join the upcoming fray.

* * *

Almost fully taking out Jeongin, who’d been wandering through the woods alone for some reason, with two consecutive paintball shots shouldn’t make Chan feel guilty.

The first hit was unexpected for Jeongin (he screamed), by the second he was running (and complaining incoherently), so Chan let him take off without revealing his identity. This way their youngest can have the chance to have a little more fun with the paintball session. After all it’s Jeongin who’s been wanting to come here so badly.

But it’s a little weird. Unexpectedly, the yellow team seems to be badly coordinated, despite having a well-balanced construction of both brains and muscle. Oh gosh, how could Changbin, Seungmin and Jisung just leave Jeongin alone? Did they all split up? He’s unsure what kind of strategy they’re employing but so far it sounds unfitting for their type of team. Whose idea was it anyway?

Hm. No use dwelling on it.

With the first shots fired and screams heard, Chan is sure the game is properly starting only now.

Or maybe it has all started with the shiver that ran down Minho’s spine. Although ‘it’ might not just be the paintball session alone. Chan can’t shake the feeling of some weird tension in the air. These days it’s always Minho who’s unwillingly in the centre of it all.

But Minho should have no issues this time, he’s with Felix and right near Hyunjin. Danceracha is a great team on their own already; with Chan’s back-up they can only win.

* * *

This is the worst.

Trudging alone through the woods of their area, Changbin has lost all motivation to play but he’ll do it anyway. Just… he doesn’t want to see Jisung nor Minho for the rest of ~~his life~~ the game. Please. It’s not a big deal or anything but… please?

His feelings for Minho – so stupid in themselves already – exposed to Jisung by accident, only for Jisung to leave in silence.

Changbin hadn’t had the chance to defend himself in any way or deny a thing, he was shocked into silence and that must have been enough for Jisung. There wasn’t even any reaction, except an unreadable stare and his prompt departure after a minuscule but tense silence. Changbin has nothing else to gauge about how well – or bad, _oh, definitely_ _bad_ – Jisung took the news. That was so unlike the Retro Jisung of these days. Even Chan would be confused, who’s been nervous about Retro Jisung’s comeback since day one.

But then again, this is a completely new situation for all of them so there is no way to label something ‘unlike them’ since none of them know where this whole circus could possibly lead them with nothing to compare it to. None of them are even equipped with the same knowledge and understanding of the circumstances.

In other words: it’s a mess.

And Changbin doesn’t blame Jeongin. He knows Jeongin had asked out of innocent worry and confusion. That’s okay. Jeongin had apologised twice (about ten times in succession for those two times); first right after the question and following silence, second when Jisung in the most unexpected and calmest way ever simply walked off without another word – Changbin had expected for Jisung to yell or cry or maybe even stomp off or run off, or, you know, just, _something_.

Even so, they only watched him go.

It had taken Changbin a moment before he could move again. Seungmin first asked if it would be ok to just play the game until it’s over, so they could deal with this later in a proper manner because the others didn’t know yet, but they would understand – Minho would understand. Seungmin’s puppy eyes shone with worry too. “Let me just… I’ll try to find one of them, hopefully Chan hyung or Hyunjin, and ask to stop the game if this is too much…?” he suggested gently. Changbin said to just keep playing but Seungmin and Jeongin looked unconvinced. Seungmin even hugged him but Changbin couldn’t find it in himself to hug back.

They should play, they spent money and time on this. Paintball is supposed to be a fun group activity. He’ll talk to Jisung later… if Jisung lets him. It’s not a big deal… it isn’t. It absolutely isn’t.

Is Jisung still playing though?

Changbin stops when he hears leaves and twigs crunch and snap close by, near some huge bushes and plants.

Okay, just… just calm down. Don’t fake being calm, Seo Changbin, be calm for real. It’s not a big deal. Don’t be stupid now.

(Will Jisung tell Minho? He better fucking not. _Then_ , and _only then_ , it’d be a big deal.)

Changbin steadies his paintball marker, ready to fire it in case he finds a red team member, and follows the sounds.

“Found you.”

The calm tone makes Changbin freeze. It’s Jisung.

But it’s not him who’s been found out. And he’s has never been scared of Jisung before and never will (for obvious reasons), but the tone of voice – somehow calm, cold and weirdly light at the same time – is a little unnerving. He doesn’t know what to expect of his friend.

With careful quiet steps, Changbin steps into one of the bigger openings in the mess of bushes and plants and spots Jisung’s figure: facing in his direction but staring at something, no, _someone_ a little more on the bottom right.

Unnerving – only his eyes are visible through that stupid paintball helmet and they’re still unreadable but so calm.

The way Minho quietly sucks in a breath through his teeth in his usual fake annoyance and some movement are so audible that, when Changbin stretches his neck to look without coming too close and getting spotted, he realises that Minho is close by him, laying on the floor on his back and uncomfortably leaned up by the shoulders, aiming his paintball marker at Jisung. He’s always had amazing reflexes so he must have spotted Jisung in less than a second.

From where Changbin is standing, he sees only half of Minho’s face.

“Of course, it’s you…” Minho scoffs, quiet still, even though Jisung (plus Changbin) has already found him. “I picked this spot very carefully, you know. Even Seungmin and Jeongin walked straight by without noticing me.”

“They’re not me,” Jisung answers with a half-hearted shrug – like it’s obvious, and maybe it is – focused on Minho. Still, the unnerving attitude doesn’t leave at all.

Surely Minho notices something off about Jisung as well. The paintball marker hangs loosely in one of Jisung’s hands, Changbin only notices now, Jisung doesn’t even try to aim at Minho. Does that mean he isn’t playing anymore? He better not say a damn thing, Changbin will not give a damn about teams or whatever in that case.

“Trust me, I know,” Changbin can almost hear the eyeroll in Minho’s wistful reply. “Aren’t you gonna, like, shoot?” Technically the same thing could be said about Minho right now. Maybe this is the type of thing that Felix and the boys had been discussing earlier in the waiting area. Although Minho alone surely is a distraction, Changbin feels like he’s the one responsible for the tenfold effect.

“Ah, right.” It’s only then that Jisung takes a stand to aim at Minho. It’s done so lazily though. “Sorry, I’m a little…” Jisung spots Changbin and meets his eyes. Unreadable. _Unnerving_. Then looks back at Minho, not really acknowledging Changbin much. “…distracted.”

Yeah, that’s one way to put it. Minho only hums in careful consideration, adjusting his aim with the paintball gun.

On edge, Changbin tries to guess what’s going to happen. They must still be playing, right? Look, Jisung doesn’t let Minho know that Changbin is here too and Jisung isn’t leaving again, so it means they can basically ambush Minho together, because they’re still focusing on the game. The message is clear. Right? That’s the only thing that makes sense, right?

(“Actually, I was going to try a kiss and run on you,” Jisung casually mentions.)

Right?

(Minho sounds amused when he replies with a huffed, “You don’t have the guts when it comes to me.”)

Since when did Jisung have the ability to be so unreadable? To strangers maybe, but to his closest friends? He’s the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, whether he wants to or not. Even when he tries to hide, deny and ignore it. Unlike with Minho, with Jisung you can read him after a short while just by paying enough attention. It’s so rare to see him like this that Changbin doesn’t remember the last time it happened.

Not like he can do much about that right now. He doesn’t even necessarily want to. This is more Minho’s expertise anyway and maybe that’s why it sticks in Changbin’s mind so much.

Focus on the game. He’ll try to talk to him later. Mostly because Changbin wants to tell him to shut up, ignore the fact and never mention it ever again.

As for now, Changbin stays in his hidden corner, taking careful aim at an oblivious Minho who’s still on his back on the floor. Marked at least three times with paint, he’ll be out. Changbin checks in on Jisung once – the younger is still focused on Minho – and then aims at the side of Minho’s thigh, which is in perfect view from here and–

 _Splatter!_ “Oof!”

Huh? Changbin looks down his own body, seeing yellow paint splattered across his chest, then stares at Jisung who looks even more shocked by what he’s done just now, seemingly questioning reality even more than Changbin is doing.

Unexpected. Jisung marked Changbin – _that fucking idiot_. Is that seriously how it’s gonna be?!

Minho laughs and turns to see where Jisung’s shot has landed, “Jisungie, you started off hot but your aim is seriously–” only for his eyes to comically widen as he instantly startles to his feet. “Changbin?! Were you guys going to ambush me?!” But before either Jisung or Changbin can even react beyond their shock and disbelief, Minho gathers his nerves in a matter of a second, starts running out of the bushes and straight into the field – to be fair, it’s the only direction he can escape to.

Man, this is so annoying.

While Changbin gives one last glare of pure disbelief to Jisung, he starts chasing Minho down the field and luckily, Jisung seems to come back to himself and starts chasing Minho too.

This time he’s wildly shooting the paint in Minho’s direction but keeps missing, but so does Changbin. Okay, they’re a team again apparently. With terrible running aim, but still, they’re a team.

“HYUNJIN! YONGBOK! Look over here!! Here!!” Minho is screaming.

For someone who refuses to ever voluntarily run in public, Minho is quite fast.

In the distance the addressed boys look up from where they’re towering proudly over a red-painted and definitely sulking Seungmin sitting on the floor. And yet, they panic as soon as they see Minho being chased by Changbin and Jisung, finding it hard to aim properly when Changbin and Jisung speed up in zigzags behind Minho.

 _See_ , they’re not so stupid when they try–

Nearby, Jisung falls flat on his face with a pained noise but before Changbin can check on his friend, he’s also marked, then trips and falls down himself. Somewhere further at the front Minho ducks down into the field’s high grass, short of reaching Hyunjin and Felix.

Just in time, Changbin sees that there’s yellow paint on him so he must’ve been marked at last. Jeongin’s joyful laugh reaches their ears but dies down into a whine pretty fast too.

“My bad. I knew I shouldn’t have left you guys alone.” That’s Chan’s entrance, approaching where Changbin is still catching his breath but sat up, and Jisung who has seemingly given up, staring up at the sky while staying put, laid on his back.

Today just isn’t Changbin’s day.

And – he can admit – neither is it Jisung’s.

* * *

“So… I have no idea what went down there and since none of you mentioned that you’re colour-blind in the check-in form, I’m not sure if I even want to ask… Did I explain the rules badly? Or is this some type of Gossip Girl drama?” The friendly worker Matthew asks them, carefully and polite despite the awkwardness at the backdoor of the building, where they have all gathered since the game is over. Matthew turns to look at Chan, who’s sitting on a tree stump. “Your kids turned a simple team vs team game into a brutal and fast-paced battle royale. Respect… I was watching through the cameras and felt like I got sucked into a dramatic action movie trailer. So tense, dude.”

“Nah, you did your job great. I have no idea what happened either, but I should have expected something like this. _Sorry, mate_.” Needlessly to say, Chan feels embarrassed, judging by his red ears. But he’s the only one not marked with any paint. They’ve all taken off their paintball helmets, sporting messy helmet hairstyles now instead.

After this check-in with the worker, they can go shower. (This guy really keeps seeing them at their worst.)

“No need to apologise, it was entertaining. As long as you guys had fun too…” Matthew smiles, shrugs and opens the backdoor to the locker rooms, where they can finally go to clean up.

And there is a lot to clean up. From the red team, Hyunjin and Felix each seem to have been marked once by yellow paint. Minho has been marked by both yellow and red – his face says enough.

Off to the side, from the yellow team, Jeongin and Seungmin are marked by red paint and Seungmin, even has a spot of yellow paint on his gear. There is one spot of red paint on an absent-minded Jisung, while Changbin – this still bothers him, it really does – has both red and yellow paint on himself as well.

With Felix sporting puppy eyes, Hyunjin is still trying to suck up to Minho. Nudging his arm and whining with his head held low, “Hyung, I’m really sorry…” for the tenth time maybe, “I was panicking and running targets are harder to–”

“If you don’t shut up, I will stuff your mouth myself,” Minho interrupts with his eyes clenched closed in mild annoyance, not wanting to dwell on it. It successfully shuts Hyunjin up.

The first to move towards the backdoor is Jisung who still looks shell-shocked by his own actions. The one, really, who’s set this turn of events off in the first place by accidently (if that’s what it can be called in the first place! It was definitely deliberate!) shooting his teammate Changbin. Seungmin follows with a grumble and Jeongin is smiling.

Well, at least one of them had a great time despite everything.

On the other hand, while still offended, Changbin feels kind of glad. They haven’t talked yet – not him and Jisung, nor him and Jisung with Seungmin and Jeongin – about _it_ , and it doesn’t look like they will anytime soon, but at least his secret is safe for now.

And, yeah, it’s not a big deal.

It does set Changbin on edge though because he can’t gauge when it will come up again. There is no way Jisung won’t do anything about it.

* * *

Once showered and clean, they all slowly filter back into the waiting area of the paintball building. There is a long-distance travel bus that stops nearby every hour so they’ll have to wait another 30 minutes before they can take the bus back home. A few minutes ago the red team – Chan, Minho, Hyunjin, Felix – were the first to take seats.

Thanks to Hyunjin collecting so many coins and for once not getting robbed by Jisung’s pickpockety fingers – kudos to Minho for that one – they won by a mile, now expecting a nice dinner at home.

The yellow team hasn’t come out of the locker rooms yet, probably mourning their loss.

On the far left of the sofa, Minho sits with his head tilted back and eyes closed, while Felix is snuggled against his side and tapping away on his smartphone. Next to Felix is Hyunjin, doing the same as they exchange small conversation while Minho dozes off. Chan assumes they’re playing some mobile game together.

Since he’s the last of their team to arrive, he contemplates getting drinks for everyone from the vending machine down the hall. He’d like to try the interesting drink called Bloody Vampire’s Strawberry Milk Shotpunch; whatever it is had caught his eye on the way back from the locker rooms.

Honestly the chaos from before is already forgotten. Considering the messes their friend group always leaves behind (on accident, he swears, and they always clean up after if needed), Chan isn’t really very affected by it, nor does the rest of his team seem to be.

Just as the thought leaves his mind, the yellow team – Changbin, Jisung, Seungmin, Jeongin – awkwardly trudge in. Silent and all visibly uncomfortable in their own little ways.

Of course, Chan spots the signs immediately. Jeongin is obvious from the way he nervously keeps checks on everyone with his sincere eyes. Changbin’s gaze is stern and avoidant. Jisung keeps visibly swallowing and – once he sits down next to Hyunjin after glancing at Minho – bounces his leg restlessly. Usually Chan only has to get involved when Seungmin, too, glares and frowns in thought, keeping his lips pressed into a thin line. So yeah, since that is the case, he feels like he should get involved.

(Chan is reminded of Minho’s shiver.)

What is bothering those four? How will he figure this one out? He’ll have to observe for now, so he doesn’t sit down and stands by the corner where he has a clear view of everyone. It’s probably not a big deal though. Hopefully.

Changbin moves to sit next to Jisung but then stops and goes to sit on the sofa adjacent from that one. Jisung noticed that but keeps his eyes down, hands folding together. Seungmin only shakes his head at the indirect interaction, sitting down on the other sofa with Jeongin as well. Those four keep their heads low, like a bunch of puppies with their tails between their legs. At the same time Seungmin and Jeongin keep tabs on them all though.

So Chan raises an eyebrow when Jeongin meets his eyes but is ignored. Same with Seungmin a moment later. A little miffed, Chan sighs and rubs his eyes.

He checks his wristwatch. Okay, another 27 minutes to go. This might just call for a hyung intervention, minus Changbin because he’s part of the problem. Also minus Hyunjin because he’s a half-hyung-half-2000 and someone has to keep the kids in line while they’re gone.

Hmm, it’s obvious the problem is only within the yellow team members though so how will Chan and Minho figure this out on their own? Or maybe Chan just shouldn’t be so nosy… yet.

Well, whatever. Who’s gonna stop him? Exactly. No one. So they’ll just have to try it this way for now. Maybe they can get the others to talk later at home.

“Oi, Minho,” he calls and Minho only reacts by opening his eyes. “Let’s go buy some drinks for everyone.” Minho gets up to join him, and Chan notices how Jisung’s eyes follow. There’s something in his gaze, weirdly thoughtful, that Chan can’t quite put his finger on.

Interestingly enough, any traces of Retro Jisung seem to have evaporated.

The question is: _when_ did that happen?

Making their short way down the hall to the vending machines, Chan brings it up once they’re out of sight. “Minho, our kids are bothered by something. What should we do?”

Looks like Minho hasn’t expected that question. Not like he had his eyes open to catch the weird atmosphere in the waiting area but even if he did feel it, he’d probably still not worry too much about it since he has no leads. Or does he? He frowns and purses his lips, visibly sleepy. “I… don’t even know what’s going on.”

Chan nods. Of course, this is Minho after all. “Our team is fine, but I think something happened between the yellow team members.”

Minho lazily hums for three seconds, bordering on a groan.

“Well, we can’t do much unless we know about it, so they’ll just have to come clean. It’s not worth a headache if there’s nothing we actually have a lead on…” Minho trails off with a shrug, stopping at the vending machine for the drinks. Something catches his eye and he mumbles an awed, “Wah, Kitten Nyan Nyan Fairy Dose…?” He looks at Chan with sparkling eyes. “Hyung, buy me that one.”

How could Chan, a simple man, say no?

“You’re right but they don’t look like they’re gonna talk to us about it,” Chan continues their more important topic as he punches in the numbers for the Kitten Nyan Nyan Fairy Dose twice, because it looks like something Felix would like. And then punches in something more standard – Lucious Creamy Chocolate Milk For Strays – for everyone else. None of the drinks have actual standard names or designs so this is going to be on luck. “Even Seungmin looks bothered in that _Seungmin way_ , you know. We can’t even ask Changbin because he’s part of it and you know how Changbin is when he’s part of trouble. Jisung will either not lose a word about it or scream about it a week later, which is kinda late, and Jeongin looks torn between being happy that he paintballed you and being suffocated by his team’s awkwardness.”

Making a show of taking in all that, Minho raises his brows and pulls a flat pressed smile (or grimace, really). “Fine,” he says like it’s the most bothersome thing ever while Chan taps in the number of Bloody Vampire’s Strawberry Milk Shotpunch. Minho bends down to pick up the drinks already out. “If it’s that important to you… Let’s get home first and I’ll make someone talk. Maybe let everyone sleep over it first though.” He sighs when he’s standing up again, arms full with drinks and then smiles almost shyly, visibly excited about something else but still a little drowsy from dozing off before. “For now, there is still something Jisung has to do for me. I think he has enough money left for a few more crane rounds, haha.”

Because of how cutely Minho giggles with a warm expression like that, Chan has to smile too. He takes more than half of the drinks in Minho’s arms into his own. They make their way back to the waiting area.

Right, right. Minho has been wanting to experiment – nothing mean, all safe, mostly for Minho himself, and, thankfully, talked through with Chan and Felix beforehand (Chan’s heart melted at this sign of trust!) – and so far, it looks like he’s been having fun at least. Hearing Minho’s perspective on things actually explains a lot, in Chan’s opinion, and while Felix still seemed a little confused, he did overall agree. Minho had deemed Chan and Felix a great duo, which, yet again, melted Chan’s weak weak heart. And Felix’s as well, of course.

Though, how exactly Minho’s experiments have gone or will go is something Chan doesn’t know yet.

When they’re back in the waiting area there’s still 18 minutes left.

Jisung is playing a round on the crane machine again and Seungmin is beside him with his arms crossed and talking. Jisung seems to be ignoring him, though Chan can only see his back from here, he can see Seungmin’s disapproving eye roll. Minho is already sharing the few drinks that have been left in his arms with Felix (“Thanks! Woah, what’s Kitten Nyan Nyan Fairy Dose?” – “Hopefully something tasty or I will make Seungmin sue the drinks’ company on behalf of every cat out there.”) and Jeongin, while Chan gives Changbin and Hyunjin their drinks too.

Before Chan can bring the remaining drinks to the last two boys, Minho takes them with a wink and strolls over to the crane machine. He teases Seungmin with a poke, handing him his drink first and then Jisung – not so easily though, he offers then pulls away then offers again and pulls away until Jisung finally snatches it out of his hand; all three amused, or four, with Chan too.

But Chan notices how Jisung avoids direct eye contact with Minho, turning back to the crane machine after having snatched his drink, and doing a terrible job. Seungmin facepalms when another plushie turns into a loss short of falling into the winning hole. What a pity.

When Minho reaches out to comfortingly pat Jisung’s shoulder, Jisung evades the touch and then awkwardly laughs, shortly glancing over to the boys on the sofas and then starting another crane machine round.

Chan raises a brow. And Minho looks confused for a moment too before shrugging it off with a small smile. Seungmin rubs his forehead in visible frustration but keeps his mouth shut otherwise. But Minho pokes at him and that’s all he needs to start bugging Minho straight back.

When Chan looks back to the sofas where the others still sit, Felix and Hyunjin are still absorbed in their smartphone games but Jeongin is chewing on his bottom lip with eyes on the boys by the crane machine, and Changbin stares out the glass entrance with almost angry determination and arms crossed over his chest.

Suspicious. Chan narrows his eyes.

A minute later Seungmin and Minho sit down on the couch again to continue their bickering about whatever it is. At last, Chan fondly chuckles at the familiar sight. There might be something off right now, but some things never quite change.

Meanwhile Jisung wins a plushie – a light grey bunny with a baby pink bow on top – and then promptly stuffs it inside his jacket and then zips it closed. He acts like the little lump under his jacket is unnoticeable, but the others don’t pay much attention to it anyway.

Chan knows though. Chan knows and he wonders why Jisung keeps it a secret.

* * *

It only gets weirder once they board the bus.

Last in line, Chan watches with an attentive frown. After the few strangers get in, Changbin is the first of their group to go inside, taking the closest free seat available. Naturally, since Minho is right behind him, he sits down beside him. Jisung is next, sitting down a few rows behind with his head held high, then Felix and Jeongin too.

But not even a proper moment later, Changbin looks at Minho with a blink, as if he has just now noticed his presence, and says, “Ah, hyung. Actually I wanted to sit with Hyunjin.”

So, Minho rolls his eyes and dramatically gets up, plopping down on the next closest free seat, which happens to be next to Jisung. Jisung looks up with wide eyes and Minho raises a challenging brow at him in response. “What?” he drawls, “You wanted to sit with someone else too?”

Making himself small, Jisung quickly shakes his head and whips his head to look out the window. The reaction seems to confuse Minho a little too, but he ends up shrugging it off.

“Rude,” Hyunjin comments, addressing Changbin, squeezing past Chan and dragging a still annoyed Seungmin with him to share a seat. “I’m gonna sit with Seungmin tho’.”

“Traitor,” Changbin comments but it’s too obvious he doesn’t actually care that Hyunjin isn’t sitting with him. What’s so bad about sitting with Minho then? Even Minho glances over at that, then looks at Jisung who’s still looking out the window as if he’s – Chan takes a guess – mourning the loss of Retro Han Jisung.

With a small sigh and slouching shoulders, Minho looks down on his lap, massaging one hand with the other.

Despite feeling a little bad for him, Chan tries not to interpret too much into anything here.

Everyone is seated, so Chan takes the last free seat by his friends, which is funnily enough the one beside Changbin. “I’m guessing you don’t wanna talk about it, do you?” he nudges Changbin, voice quiet enough to share a secret. Just, you know, in case Changbin will want to talk.

But Changbin pulls out his in-ears and plugs them in. “Yup.”

* * *

They reach home – as in, the hyung-line apartment – in complete silence.

By now even Hyunjin and Felix have realised the awkwardness hanging in the air, easily influenced. Minho doesn’t seem to mind, or his cold stare is actually a reaction, Chan isn’t sure. It could be Resting Bitch Face. Seungmin still looks annoyed though, Jeongin is definitely nervous, Changbin keeps glaring (that, Chan is sure, is not his Resting Bitch Face), and Jisung is awkward and quiet the entire time too. Not his standard quiet. The _eerie_ kind.

Chan is the one to open the apartment door and let everyone in. Jisung takes a little longer by the door to hide the bunny plushie as inconspicuously as possible, and the other three listlessly take their shoes and jackets off as well. Felix and Hyunjin rush to follow Minho inside, taking off their stuff faster than the others as if wanting to escape the tension the other four carry with them.

It reminds Chan a little of the time someone had stolen Minho’s last protein shake from the fridge on another of their sleepovers. Nobody wanted to come clean about it so everyone had to suffer the consequences until Minho had decided to punish Hyunjin behind closed doors, just out of simple principle. That day Chan and Changbin conveniently ignored the commotion in their apartment. Jisung, Felix, Seungmin and Jeongin just enjoyed their own freedom.

To this day, they don’t know who the real culprit had been but Hyunjin hadn’t really tried to defend himself a lot that day either.

Back in the present though Seungmin and Jeongin seem to have become a little more comfortable again, thanks to Chan, Minho, Hyunjin and Felix playing moodmakers until the ordered food arrives. Which, to be fair, tends to be the job of Changbin and Jisung, who sit on each opposing end of the couch, trying too hard to act normal but going silent and absent-minded way too often, no matter the conversation. The TV is on as well, some random movie playing with low volume.

“By the way,” Minho starts – right as the doorbell rings and Changbin, Seungmin and Jeongin get up to receive the food and pay – by slapping Jisung’s knee and holding it, startling Jisung out of his thoughts. He’s right by Jisung’s feet sitting on the floor, leaning sideways against the couch. His eyes on the other three busy at the front door, he continues seemingly casually. “Jisungie, can you tell us what happened?”

Jisung does that gulping thing again. “I-I don’t know what you mean.”

Minho scoffs with half a smile and then averts his eyes from the door to blink up at Jisung. “You’re really gonna lie to me, especially when it’s this obvious?”

“No…” Jisung immediately answers, wringing his hands together and frowning guiltily, still avoiding even meeting Minho’s eyes. Chan sees him become weaker though, so he wordlessly signals to Hyunjin and Felix to go keep the others away from the living room area for a little longer. The conversation is quiet enough that it shouldn’t be heard in the open space of living room and kitchen. 

Chan smiles as reassuringly as possible and Jisung actually meets his eyes once when he speaks up. “Whatever it is, you can tell us. We can only solve problems we know about, you know that, right? Minho has been worried this whole time…” He shrugs exaggeratedly, like it’s such a tragedy, but it works and Jisung sighs deeply. Even with Minho present, pulling The Minho Card always works on Jisung in the end.

“Hey, don’t call me shit like caring. I have a reputation to uphold,” Minho reprimands with a lazy glare. The chatter and clanking in the kitchen by the other boys becomes background noise. “You’re the one who asked for my help anyway, hyung.”

Despite that, Jisung’s resolve to stay quiet seems to crumble. He finally looks at Minho with a calm kind of contemplation and puts a hand over the one Minho has on his knee, rubbing the skin there gently with his thumb and making Minho look up at him in surprise. Jisung takes a shaky breath and exhales it, looking into his eyes. “As much as I hate to say this… I think you’ll have to talk to Changbin hyung. He… Shit,” he presses his eyes closed, shakes his head with another sigh before he looks at Minho again. “Just… He should tell you himself because it’s about him. I don’t know what to do about it, but it’s not my… not my secret to tell.”

It’s obvious that by ‘you’ Jisung is only addressing Minho. The gears start turning in Chan’s head almost a little too fast.

Minho opens his mouth to speak but suddenly Changbin himself approaches and Jisung hurriedly pushes Minho’s hand off his knee and pull his legs up on the couch to sit further away in the corner, eyes resolutely looking away. Way to be obvious about it.

The slight frown Minho sends him in turn is not only one of confusion, but of hurt.

“Your majesties of victory,” Changbin jokingly calls them once he reaches them. “We prepared everything on the kitchen table. Come on.”

Ah yeah, the kitchen table designed for only _four people_. Now, with three desk chairs and one gaming chair added in, four more people can squeeze in. It is cramped to say the least. Chan isn’t sure how the hell Hyunjin and Felix managed to convince the others that this was the best way to eat with the eight of them present but anything for completing the mission, he guesses as they’re sitting down. Hyunjin and Felix did manage to keep the others away for as long as they could, so Chan thanks them anyway and even gets to peck Felix on the lips before anyone can notice and gag at it.

The losing team has ordered a bunch of noodles and meat, which mostly Changbin seems to have paid for. It almost gives the impression of an unsaid apology.

(When Minho tries to take the seat next to Jisung as usual, Jisung pulls down Chan to sit there instead and Minho gets that little frown on his face again. It seems that other than Chan, Seungmin has caught the weird action as well and gives Jisung a warning glare for it, when Minho takes the seat next to Seungmin instead. Jeongin shifts nervously in the cramped space of his own seat, while Changbin keeps himself busy by stuffing his mouth with noodles, avoiding Minho’s searching eyes and Chan’s assessing stare.)

With two of their main moodmakers down, Felix and Hyunjin try hard to keep the atmosphere light but soon find themselves giving up and the eight of them sit squeezed together in awkward silence. That’s just not necessary, mate.

At least the food tastes amazing. A bigger serotonin boost than one might think.

(When Hyunjin steals a piece of meat from Minho’s chopsticks mid-air in a big bite, all peace – or chaos – is restored in a matter of seconds. What a beautiful view to see.)

* * *

The blood that has been pumping hot through his veins, easily boiling in all those different ways these days, has finally calmed down.

Just not the way Jisung imagined it would.

He isn’t sure how the others do it so easily. Becoming comfortable so fast as if nothing happened, as if nobody had feelings for anyone and nobody had feelings about that either. Jisung wishes he could do the same – act like it’s not a big deal, the way Changbin, Seungmin and Jeongin seem to slowly but surely do. Like nothing happened, they’re already laughing again and talking about all the stupid things they usually talk about at this tiny dinner table for eight. Maybe that is just their thing though, to deal well with the good and the bad, it’s nothing new.

Jisung wants to join but he can’t find it in himself to do so at the moment. 

To put it plainly: he feels bad. There’s no need to wrap it up in poetry.

Bad, because he’s been parading his love for Minho around for God knows how long and how much, be it in denial or not, only to completely miss the way one of his most important friends in life fell the same way he did. Watched, too. His friend had seen all of his stupidity, his shame and his shamelessness. His friend, Changbin, encouraged and teased him about it.

Somehow it even feels a little like betrayal, from his own side – for parading his feelings around so carelessly and probably hurting Changbin in the process – but also from Changbin’s side.

Sure, humans can’t really help the emotions they end up feeling. However, what they _do_ with those emotions is what matters most. That’s something everyone has a tiny bit more control over, depending on what it is in what context, of course.

And Changbin, that idiot, didn’t even think of letting Jisung know, did he? If it were just a crush, like Seungmin had on Minho, Jisung could try to understand not wanting to tell and wanting to let it die on its own. But from how it looks, if Jisung really _looks_ , there is no way it’s that simple this time. Just when did Changbin’s feelings for Minho grow beyond friendship? How could Changbin not even consider sharing something so important with any of their friends? More importantly, he doesn’t know what Changbin wants to do with his feelings for Minho and he doesn’t know how deep exactly Changbin’s feelings go either.

It’s immensely frustrating. Jisung would rather write a 100-page paper about musical theoretics than whatever his brain is doing right now.

(They are best friends, for fuck’s sake, even without having the label tattooed on their foreheads.)

Now that Jisung thinks about it, maybe he’d been wilfully ignorant about it. Because all of this does make sense, if he really looks back and logically takes it all apart like a bunch of scenes from a movie. Even taking their different personalities into consideration.

Next to everything else that makes him who he is, he’s always been easy to rile up behind his quiet demeanour around strangers and his cheerful attitude with his friends – it’s real and human all the same. He’s matured a lot from his teenage days – Retro Jisung, Chan keeps saying these days – but he’s still the kid with too big of an ego adorned with human insecurities all the same. Everyone’s different and everyone’s got their own roots to tend to after all – that’s a good thing too, if you ask Jisung.

So, when it comes to Minho, Jisung feels selfish. Like he’s a dumb teenager again, who doesn’t know what to do with all that he feels. Finding the perfect balance of letting yourself feel and reigning yourself in is hard when you’ve been cluelessly repressing and denying yourself for a long time.

Minho. Minho is Jisung’s friend too before he is anything else to him. Even if what they have with each other doesn’t quite fit the label of friends, it’s still what they are. With how natural, tender and safe the bond between them is, Jisung would probably like to say they’re the world’s first case of real soulmates (but Minho would probably tease him relentlessly over it).

Minho has this effect on Jisung: he makes anywhere and anything feel like home and an adventure all the same. Despite knowing and understanding each other better than anyone else, there is still so much to explore, to talk about, to do, to see and to make. That’s probably something that will never change, not between them. In the end humans aren’t static.

He knows, under all his insecurity, that Minho knows, too, that they’re a little more special with each other than with anybody else. In all their differences and similarities, this bond between them is only what it is because it’s been a mutual thing from the start. It had first appeared with a spark.

Under all the ice and the eccentrics and the mystery, Minho is still a gentle soul. A heart that beats in a so fascinating way that Jisung can’t help the way his own heart reacts to it – as if reaching for its chosen companion. 

(Jisung feels so much, so much for Minho, so much – when he locks eyes across the dinner table with that mystic gaze of his and Minho smiles a little reassuring smile that tells him he knows Jisung is overthinking something right now – he feels so much _love_ for Minho. Oh, ‘how shocking that he can finally admit it’ is what he thinks every time the word ‘love’ tumbles into his head in regard to Minho. Because he feels so much for him that it _hurts_. But it’s not pain per se. It makes his heart ache in the best possible way. A way so hard to put into words that not everyone is granted to feel in their lives.)

Jisung sighs. Right now, the noodles on his plate could never be more appealing than a good night’s sleep. His brain feels like mush.

Changbin having romantic feelings for Minho sounds ridiculous only the first time around. The more Jisung lets it sit inside his head the more it makes sense. And he feels so terrible about it, he doesn’t know what to do. There is something scary about it too.

The fear of losing this special little something with Minho that Jisung has been protecting so dearly.

The gazes and touches filled with so much ambiguity are what he’s seen come from Changbin when Changbin is with Minho. Crumbled clothes, tugs and smiles that could be only friendly but not quite. Because when Minho touches, say Jeongin, he doesn’t really feel all too bad about it; he gets a little intimidated when it’s, say Chan, sometimes because that’s Chan, you know; but whenever it’s _Changbin_ with Minho then he’s getting this bitter taste on his tongue on top; just since recently though, but not quite sure since when exactly.

(A memorable line in the back of his mind: “At some point… noticing you two together has become noticing Minho hyung.”)

Even with the knowledge that, in general, Changbin just has a knack for the sexual and Minho has this weird little way of having fun by keeping everything provocatively vague and up to interpretation… lately, there has been something off. So maybe he shouldn’t have chalked all those things up to his overthinking tendencies. Maybe his brain had somehow somewhere caught up with Changbin’s feelings but it’s only now that he really _knows_. Maybe it’s scary because a little of Changbin’s behaviour reminds Jisung a little of his own, too.

And the worst thing? Despite everything, all of this and all that is beyond… Jisung has no idea what goes on in Minho’s head or his heart.

His own heart throbs with painful longing and the need to apologise too.

How can he freely show Minho his love when it comes at the cost of hurting one of his best friends?

(There is a light grey plush bunny stuffed into his boots by the apartment door. Unfortunately, it’s a very tight fit. A terrible hiding place that might even stink; if Minho ever gets to find out about it, then he’ll surely scold Jisung. The plush bunny is soft and has a baby pink bow on top of it. The only bunny amid a bunch of plush bears and plush planets. The lack of alien plushies had been a surprise.

“If I win, it’s a sign,” Jisung had told himself back at the crane machine with his last coin in hand.

Like magic, the victory coursed through his veins in gold. The sign is for something Jisung doesn’t want to let become cold.

Too bad it’ll stay a secret for now.)

That’s it. Sue him. Han Jisung has no idea what to do about all that he feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#2.10.18. P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Bang Christopher Chan  
>  **Other (3) :** people still question his sexuality, falls asleep easier when cuddling, tries not to be too nosy but he cares too much to leave things alone, has a huge love for astronomy and the stars  
>  **How do you feel about the current events?:** “The final track I submitted last week somehow got into Professor Choi’s hands. Not that I mind, but I don’t know how to tell her that not every love song I produce is about Minho. […] Ahhh, whatever is going on with my kids at the moment? It’s like I’m constantly playing an endless game of Cluedo.”
> 
> * * *
> 
> hello, i'm back! i missed coming here. i hope you've been doing well!! (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡  
> intense. look where we are. i know, i know. this chapter is a little mean, isn't it? hehe.  
> i hope you've enjoyed reading today's update and anticipate the next with excitement!  
> so, do tell, what are you thinking of all this?  
> i'd love to read your thoughts in the comments! ☆


	19. Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Understanding takes more than time.

It’s a Monday evening free of any academic or life-important responsibilities. For some the hours just seem to painfully drag on forever whilst others are content with the slow pass of time. Just a bunch of friends in the open space of the living and kitchen area of their humble home. There’s something about the day’s slow ending, the company of best friends all day long, bruises made by fun, and a welcoming kind of exhaustion creeping up on those present.

At the prospect of splitting up for everyone to go back to their own homes like normal people would have done – or in Jisung’s very dramatic words: get thrown out of the hyung-line apartment onto the cold streets to fend for themselves, how cruel! – Jisung sprung back to life to stop that turn of events. He insisted they do a movie marathon. Really, only coming back to life for that and through majority vote, the idea was loved and accepted. By Jisung’s words: a Studio Ghibli marathon is simply a movie marathon made for only true humans of culture. So that’s what they’re doing right now.

After that he resorted back to his quiet persona, although at least he’s been (creepily) grinning from time to time (at the TV; My Friendly Neighbour Totoro is playing right now, after that it’ll be Howl’s Moving Castle) and mumbling all the memorised lines along, (suspiciously) laying on the carpet by himself while the others are on the couch. Despite everything, everyone seems to relax. Jeongin even seems to doze off on Seungmin’s shoulder! Adorable. Hyunjin is by his other side and Felix is laid across their laps. Nothing new. Even Chan and Minho seem to have given up on staring Changbin down. Chan has his hand absent-mindedly petting Felix’s hair on Jeongin’s lap beside him, and Minho is right next to Chan, cocooned in a fuzzy blanket. ~~~~

This basically counts as an MG Event, right? A perfect distraction.

Alas, Changbin isn’t taking part in that activity right now. He’s fine with just looking over his shoulder from time to time to check on the others.

As usual Changbin has been degraded to kitchen clean-up and personal dishwasher, fatefully decided by a game of rock-paper-scissors. To be honest, he is glad that he can take a breather by himself; more or less, the kitchen and living room are a joint space to be precise, but that’s not the point… He thoroughly scrubs and cleans everything from not only their late lunch but from the others’ breakfast this morning (that they cruelly didn’t wake him up for) too. It’s as peaceful as washing dishes can get.

Maybe Jisung has decided to ignore the reveal of Changbin’s feelings. That would be the best solution but Changbin knows he’s just stupidly and optimistically lying to himself.

Because he’s noticed – unfortunately he isn’t a complete blockhead – how Jisung keeps avoiding Minho’s approaches and touches ever since then. The situation right now is a prime example; movie marathons are basically Minho’s and Jisung’s excuse to freely cuddle each other. How could Jisung pass up on that? It’s only been a few hours since their paintball session. Only a few hours since Jisung has turned into a hauntingly unreadable version of himself. Just what is going on inside his head?

Does he not realise how sad Minho’s eyes become with every rejection?

It may be that Retro Jisung had been Jisung’s weird little defense mechanism in the flood of feelings breaking through the thickest possible wall of denial; the side of Jisung that _seeks_ fights… amplified by ten. Chan had nicknamed that specific mood of Jisung’s as ‘Retro Jisung’ since it had first appeared during their days of puberty and nowadays (before Jisung somehow acknowledged his feelings) only used to come out for rap battles and stage performances. But it really is just Jisung. The same Jisung that’s somehow both quiet and loud as hell, easily riled up and intimidated all the same with that huge ego packed into a small body. Hmm… they share some similarities, don’t they?

Well, damn, not that that matters. Changbin killed Jisung’s fire as easily as that – by simply feeling too much. Not even Minho’s cold disbelief had managed to kill it. And now Jisung is stuck in his head again, for God knows how long. No amount of yellow paint can measure up to that. All of this could have been so simple.

Instead it’s nerve-wrecking.

“Hello.”

Shit. At the faint mumble of a greeting, Changbin almost drops the porcelain mug he’s been washing for the past five minutes. He really got lost in thought. “Shit, _hyung_ ,” he hisses, not even looking at the dreaded newcomer. “Do you have to sneak up on me like that every time?”

“I didn’t sneak up on you, you’re just dumb,” Minho scoffs lightly, coming closer to peer over Changbin’s shoulder at the sink with his typical smugness. He speaks quietly enough not to bother the loud movie playing in the background a safe distance away. “I watched you scrub that mug for the past seven minutes.”

“Did you have fun counting?” Changbin lowly growls out, feeling slightly exposed. Just slightly. Keep calm. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t. Minho doesn’t know.

Minho takes a step back and leans against the kitchen counter with the side of his hip so he’s facing Changbin. Then he crosses his arms, frowning at him. “I have a phone and no, it wasn’t fun. I just stood there by the kitchen table when I could have been readying myself for the catbus to go ‘round town.”

Changbin gives a dismissive hum and finally puts the mug onto the drying rack. His shoulders ache with tension just by Minho’s presence alone. There are only two bowls left to clean… he could either drag this out until Minho gets bored and leaves, or he could speed up and excuse himself to watch Totoro do his thing too. Anything to escape Minho right now.

Minho doesn’t even let the pause sink in. He adjusts his lean against the kitchen counter and then nudges Changbin’s arm with a finger before he crosses his arms again. “Who pissed in your cereal this morning?” Then, a little nicer. “I wish I did. But anyways–”

“I didn’t even get to have cereal this morning because none of you guys woke me up like promised!” Changbin can’t help but send him a glare for that but regrets it immediately when he meets Minho’s watchful eyes.

“Interesting,” Minho says, like it’s not interesting at all and then puts a finger to his lip in thought as he tilts his head. As if there’s more to Changbin’s outburst. Eyes round and blinking, with a hint of threat behind them. “Tell me what I need to hear. Go on.”

Changbin gulps. Is it better to look away or hold the eye contact? “Can you stop staring at me so intensely?”

“No, I think it helps lower your defenses,” Oh, how right he is. Damn him! The corners of Minho’s lips tug up a little and he taps his lips with his finger twice before he continues, “Channie hyung wants me to help solve your team’s drama and per Jisungie’s hint, I’m here. Is the problem about me? Spill.”

Of course, Jisung send him. He sighs, “It’s better if you don’t know.” Changbin gives up on the dishes and the will to be strong, dropping his gaze. He reaches for the towel hanging on the counter Minho leans against. He tugs it away and, while drying his hands, meets Minho’s eyes again. “You don’t actually care anyway, and the others are relaxed again already so… let’s not ruin it.” he shrugs. “It’ll be fine. Just go watch the movie, hyung.”

Minho’s smile drops before it could fully develop as he tilts his head the other way. Changbin has no idea what his problem is. “Hm,” Minho hums and rolls his head backwards, seemingly lazy but it’s too cold to be only casual. He looks towards the couch. “Fine, I get it. I won’t force anyone to talk to me.” Apparently Changbin doesn’t have to do much today to make Minho leave him alone. Maybe because Minho is already tired for the day.

After another miniscule pause, Minho doesn’t even spare him another glance and simply leaves.

Over the movie playing, Changbin vaguely hears an “Oi, Hyunjin” from Minho, followed by Hyunjin’s “Oof, _hyung_!” and then the movie only again.

Glad that that’s over, Changbin sighs in relief and thinks he handled that pretty well. Minho acting like a sour lemon is nothing new anyway, it’s never that serious. Let Hyunjin take the fall for Minho’s souring five-minute mood.

Perfect.

Apparently Seungmin and Jeongin are actual angels on earth. They’ve kept their mouths shut in front of the others, despite chewing Changbin’s ears off about it. Chan and Jisung though? Demons.

Demons for sending Minho after Changbin. What has become of their sacred 3RACHA bond? Unbelievable. Is this how easy it is to get sold out by a bro? Changbin shakes his head, turns back towards the sink and takes a deep breath. Good thing that Minho isn’t the type to actively force himself into anyone’s business (at least for serious matters when he’s being told ‘no’) because Changbin would have crumbled otherwise. Those sharp eyes of Minho’s are too intense for _anyone_.

“Hello.”

What the hell, again?

This time Changbin doesn’t have anything in his hands he could accidently drop out of shock, thankfully. You’d think he’d be prepared after the first time. He reluctantly turns to look at who’s bothering his moment of peace now. “Jisung, why are you sneaking up on me? That’s not your thing.”

“Yeah, apparently it’s yours now,” Jisung immediately snaps back, eyes trained on Changbin but somehow blank and distant all the same.

Okay, that one hit hard. Was that on purpose?

But Jisung already looks away again. It’s undeniable that neither of them actually want to be here and have this conversation right now. “Sorry,” Jisung mumbles. It’s obvious that Retro Jisung’s departure isn’t enough for Jisung’s spunk to fully disappear. Although he’s already looking like he feels guilty, so he’s still the same softie as always too.

Yeah, let’s not fight.

When it comes to fights, Changbin and Jisung are two sides of a coin. One can throw punches well, the other can dish out words pretty well – it’s why Jisung is great at freestyle rap and Changbin is great at intimidating people with or without meaning to. Nonetheless they’re both sensitive to retaliation behind the strong front.

Jisung seems to contemplate something, fingers lightly tapping on the kitchen table as if unsure whether to rest against it or come closer. And maybe he’s been contemplating for hours already.

For once Changbin would rather run away. “You’re not going to make me talk about it in my own kitchen, right? He’s right there.” It’s true – Minho may not be able to hear them, but he is right there with a blanket draped over his shoulders, comfortably perched on Hyunjin’s chest, who is sprawled on the carpet not even fighting back. The prey has been caught, huh. Nobody seems to mind.

“The movie is too loud and you’re already mumbling every word,” Jisung shrugs, tone not biting like before but not necessarily welcoming like any other time either. He sounds like he’s been losing sleep over _it_ when it’s only been a few hours since he found out. It’s hard to gauge what he wants to hear from Changbin exactly. He’d rather fight a hyper Retro Jisung because then he could play the hyung-card and call Jisung childish. But Jisung is quiet and calculating right now, not looking for a fight at all. “I want you to tell Minho hyung. Talk to him. Why won’t you?”

What? “Why would I tell Minho hyung? Are you fucking lost?”

“Me? Honestly? Yeah,” Jisung talks quietly. Just looks down at his feet and rubs his neck. He does look lost. “Obviously I don’t actually want you to tell him how you feel. It would be simpler if I didn’t know either. It would be even simpler if neither of us fell for Minho hyung and I was actually the straight guy I thought I was until a few months ago.” He laughs a little, too awkward and forced for it to actually be about anything funny. “But…” He sighs, long and deep. Pauses, and then groans and drops his head backwards and finally props up his arm against the tabletop, staring at the ceiling. “But it is what it is. I care about you, I care about him. We’re all friends, you know that too. So I want you to tell him. He has the right to know how you feel about him, hyung.”

Maybe, but nobody can say that for sure. Who even knows what the right thing to do in this type of situation is? When he looks far behind Jisung, he sees Minho climbing off of Hyunjin and hauling him up on the couch again and Hyunjin lets himself get manhandled as the rest of them stifle their laughter. Somehow Jeongin is already dozing off at the side with Seungmin protecting him from all the movement on the couch. Felix reaches out to help Minho with Hyunjin’s body while Chan fondly watches their typical mess, probably activating his typical Chan-senses so nobody gets hurt.

Changbin wonders if Chan has ever sensed more than the surface-level pain of bruises. He’s always so caring, always so busy, always trying his best.

As if prompted, Jisung speaks up again, looking at the others too, “Chan hyung told me that problems can only be solved if they’re addressed. Don’t make me drag Jeongin over here to play therapist for us.”

“You know he’s not majoring in psychology or therapy stuff though, right?”

“Yeah, but half of his classes are psychology classes. Minho hyung stopped calling humans boring ever since Jeongin started talking about them.”

“Ah, right. Minho hyung is experimenting; How’s that going for you?”

Jisung purses his lips and shrugs, eyes wandering back towards the kitchen table as he thinks it over. “I mean not much happened yet because Seungmin kind of interrupted us but… _hey_. Stop trying to distract me, hyung.” He glares but it’s only as intimidating as an angry hamster could be. In other words: not at all. “I’m not joking. Tell Minho hyung how you feel or I will.”

That’s probably the last thing Jisung would ever want to do. Changbin raises his brows, unimpressed. “No, you won’t.”

Jisung nods without pause and crosses his arms over his chest, hip leaning against the kitchen table. “Uh, I won’t… but Jeongin and Seungmin on the other hand…”

“Dude,” Changbin says again and he can’t help but laugh. They’re so ridiculous, aren’t they? He can’t believe he’s ended up with the same taste in men as Han Jisung of all people. This kid… “Do you want to see me get rejected so badly?”

“Yo, honestly?” Jisung perks up, eyes round with that exact honesty and finally showing a little of how bothered he is. He finally meets Changbin’s eyes again. It’s a little surprising. Or maybe it isn’t. “I’m literally burning with jealousy and the fact that you’re cooler than me so yeah, I’d love to see you get rejected by Minho hyung. But, like, not to hurt you, but, just. You know… I really like him, hyung. I’m already having a hard time trying to protect what we already have and winning him over at the same time… I can handle others, strangers, his class- and dancemates but you’re… I don’t want to fight you.”

Hah. Jisung thinks Changbin is cooler than him? Changbin puffs out his chest and crosses his arms over his chest with a smug smile. He doesn’t want to fight a friend over a friend either but Changbin doesn’t really want to talk about it. “Not like you could win, Mr. Home-Workouts.”

“Don’t rub it in,” Jisung says through gritted teeth and pulls a grimace. “Obviously I don’t mean a fistfight though… I don’t know why everyone wants to physically fight me? Did I do something? Minho hyung keeps trying to get me to go spar with him, that weird hyung. And Hyunjin asked me to wrestle with him ‘for training’. Jeongin threw a banana peel at me yesterday! They’ve lost their minds, I swear.”

“Modern forms of affection, I guess,” Changbin shrugs. “What else did they do?”

“Yeah, they– _hey_. Changbin hyung! I swear, stop distracting me!” Jisung straightens up and points an accusing finger at him. The outburst makes only Chan curiously look over for a second. Everyone’s still pretty focused on the movie. Thankfully Jisung quiets down before the opposite happens. “Damn… back to the point. What’s so bad about telling Minho hyung about your feelings? He won’t even make things awkward if you don’t. The worst he could do is reject you. Even I told him how I feel and you know how nervous I can get about literally everything ever.”

Changbin smirks and only acts like he’s considering it. “What if he accepts my feelings though?”

“I will literally piss in your cereal.”

Ice cold. Jisung didn’t even think about it. Look at the fire in his eyes… Understandable. Minho would be proud of the threat too. What’s with everyone threatening Changbin’s cereal today?

“Yeah, _no_. Don’t do that.” Changbin shakes his head and steps closer, toning his voice down more. “Look,” he begins. And up close, it’s easier to notice how Jisung’s shoulders are as tense as his own. Maybe that’s why they’re both so tired already. “Imagine if I did end up dating Minho–”

“I hate it.”

“ _I know_. Let me finish, dude.” Changbin frowns and nudges the younger’s shoulder lightly who, in turn, just reluctantly purses his lips shut, frowning right back. “Just listen.” Changbin steps back a little and feels his throat close up the tiniest bit. He can say this. He’s said similar things multiple times before and has thought it even more than that. “I don’t want to date someone whose first priority will always be someone else. So I don’t want to date Minho hyung. Not like he would ever even give me the chance to want it in the first place. I know what you heard Jeongin say but it’s not that deep and–”

“ _Hyung_.” Jisung interrupts again. “Don’t lie to me. Give me some credit too, alright?” He pushes Changbin away one more step by a hand on his chest before he drops it to look at it instead of at Changbin. He’s got a thin silver bracelet on his wrist. There’s no space left for jokes. “I know our Minho hyung very well and watch him too, you know. That means I see the people around him, with him, too. Just like you. I guess. Kind of. And because you’re my friend, I know you too. So… So I know when you have him between your body and Chan hyung’s car, you like it. I know when he tugs at your clothes and makes you look like a mess, you like it. I know when he plays with you, you want it to be real. You want his words to mean more than they do.” Jisung is confident in his words, but his smile is forced and only stays for a second. “That’s Minho hyung for you.”

Changbin swallows dry. A glass of water would be great right now – it’s easier to do than having to accept the fact that he has underestimated Jisung. Suddenly it’s ten times colder in the room. In the background he sees Minho pull the blanket tighter around his body as he squeezes himself into the space between Hyunjin and Felix.

Oh, they have no idea. He has no idea.

And Jisung adjusts his silver bracelet. For a moment the light’s reflection falls into his eyes and Changbin thinks Jisung has grown up a lot in the past few months. Jisung doesn’t waver when he speaks. “For the last two, I’m the same. For the first two, I’m not. There’s… there’s more, too, isn’t there? I haven’t seen it all, but I know it’s there. What I’m trying to say is… what you feel, it makes sense. Instead of surprising me, it sobered me up.”

Chalking it up to jealous paranoia isn’t going to work. Okay. Changbin knows from the way the room follows whatever mood Jisung sets right now. He doesn’t know what to tell him. It’s a little suffocating.

Jisung looks up and meets his eyes, quirks a brow too daunting. “I’m a little possessive when it comes to Minho hyung, I realise that too. Especially now. I’m still trying to understand myself and what to do with what I feel. Before, I thought all my feelings were just overwhelming me but… but my gut feeling wasn’t lying to me with this one. I have absolutely no idea what Minho hyung thinks about all of this but… you, Changbin hyung, you’re easier to read than him. I just… I think I was so focused on figuring myself out that I accidently tripped over your feelings for him.”

Changbin finds his breath. “It was better that way.”

Knowing the other six are right there just one open space away puts him on edge. It doesn’t matter how loud the movie is or how quietly they speak or how far the distance is.

He knows they’re leaving them alone on purpose too; they’re not stupid either. Changbin looks at Jisung, meeting his blank gaze head-on. For once Jisung actually looks cool. Too casual maybe, waiting for Changbin to speak like he just wants it over with.

But Changbin wants that too anyway. “Minho hyung is hard to read but we still know him pretty well. And you always had a knack for pushing all the right buttons when it came to him, Jisung. You did it naturally. So naturally that you weren’t– _aren’t_ even fully aware of all the things you do for him, with him, because of him… You are clumsy but nobody fits him better than you. I think Minho hyung has a hunch about that too, which is why you’re more special to him than anybody else, Jisung. For Minho hyung… _it’s you_.”

And Changbin can’t help the foolish little smile that tugs up his own lips. It’s not forced nor fake. What he says next actually makes him smile. It’s long overdue to be said out-loud to somebody – to Jisung.

“The only reason I fell in love with him is because you were there to make it happen, because you were right by his side to show me what to pay attention to, because all you loved about him was hard not fall in love with.”

The confession is enough to crack Jisung’s cool façade into one of vulnerable surprise – maybe Changbin’s words accidently shot at more than just a wall of defense and the need to be a good friend.

It’s true though. All of this – Changbin’s part – had started because Changbin found it interesting and fun to watch them – Minho and Jisung – fall head over heels for each other and clumsily stumble around their feelings.

Jisung has always been a sweet talker when it came to his friends but especially about Minho, with or without his presence. He somehow always finds a way to bring up Minho and all the things he knows about him, and also, accidently show just how in love he is, just how fond he is, eyes sparking with unadulterated adoration – no amount of denial, refusal or friendly bullying could ever hide it. Naturally Changbin had listened to that too and, in time, wanted to see for himself.

Just how beautiful could their weird friend Minho be?

A slippery slope.

It used to be hilarious how red Minho’s ears got and how he immediately glared, whenever Changbin caught him staring at Jisung for too long – Changbin realised only later that he, himself, had been staring too much at Minho to notice that and be caught himself. The gradual unwilling start of a mess. Low-quality knight costumes, green grass and holding hands just happened to knock it into his head – it’s a story that doesn’t matter because Changbin doesn’t _want_ to make it matter. He’s watched Minho reach for Jisung’s hand too many times to count, he’s seen the way Minho brightens when their fingers intertwine, and he’s seen the way Minho’s eyes turn _so_ sad whenever Jisung puts distance between them (like today!). Changbin used to tease Minho whenever Minho played the distance card on Jisung in turn, despite Minho’s eyes always longingly following Jisung’s retreating back anyway.

(A weird but distinctly _them_ game of push and pull. Insecure and confident all the same.)

With Minho it’s in the many details.

And nothing’s ever been quite one-sided with Minho and Jisung.

That _lovely something_ Minho carried around for Jisung looked so beautiful on him – Changbin couldn’t help but see the rest of Minho in a different light, too, in a gradual fall of things. There is so much to love about him, isn’t there?

Jisung knows best.

When all those months ago Jisung had pushed Minho away again, send a simple text message too mean for a heart as fragile as Minho’s is for the ones he loves, Changbin couldn’t understand just how deep denial and fear could run – by respecting Jisung’s unwanted wish, Minho had accidently turned Changbin’s crush into too much. Even though all Minho has been doing is wait. Isn’t that right?

 _Ahh_. Changbin inhales the cold air around them into his lungs. His back aches, not just from paintball, and yet the tension in his shoulders slowly disappears with relieved defeat. He rubs over his bare arms, thinking he should switch out his t-shirt for a hoodie later. And he can only hope Jisung understands him too.

Jisung – wide eyed stare, eyebrows twitching in pure confusion, vulnerable and open, attentively trying to make sense of everything. So smart and quick-witted and yet always so damn clueless – Jisung.

They’re all friends, _best friends_. Of course, Changbin means something to Minho too. Of course, Changbin isn’t blind to how much he means to Minho too. Of course, Changbin knows he’s got a space for himself in Minho’s heart too. Just… Just not the way he’d like it. He busted all his opportunities because he never stood a chance anyway. And what Jisung and Minho have is too good to be tainted, Changbin actually wants to see it blossom further for his two friends. It’s not fair to try and compare.

Does Jisung not see any of it?

Well, Changbin can tell him.

“He looks at you like you hung the stars in his sky, but I just make him laugh sometimes.”

* * *

“So… after Minho hyung failed his mission and came back, Jisung left for popcorn… but all I’m seeing is a live drama playing in our kitchen starring Jisung and Changbin hyung… No way washing dishes takes this long. He’s not even washing the dishes anymore. Most importantly, there is no popcorn… _Guys_ , this is very suspicious behaviour.”

“Please just give them privacy, Hyunjin. Trust me, they need it.”

“Oh? Are you saying you know what that’s about, Kim Seungmin?”

“Unfortunately I do.”

“Well, can you–”

“Excuse me, the catbus doesn’t have that much screentime so can you just let me enjoy this?” Minho interrupts Hyunjin’s and Seungmin’s hushed discussion with the fakest polite tone ever. He’s still cuddled into his blanket between Hyunjin and Felix.

“Hyung, no offense but I know you and Jisung watched this movie like five times,” Hyunjin counters with a smug face. It’s true by the way; Ghibli is Jisung’s choice of addiction, which Minho indulges way too often. In their apartment, mind you. As if the dorms are that uncomfortable… Some nights Hyunjin joins in too but that’s not the point… Hyunjin is sick of seeing those two on their community couch he could use for his own romantic movie nights with Seungmin! “Maybe if you paid more attention to the movie than to Jisung’s face… You need to sort your priorities straight. Lovesick doesn’t even suit you, Minho hyung.” For dramatic effect, he shakes his head with a disappointed sigh.

Minho stills, blinking at the TV screen. The short scene for the catbus has just ended. Hyunjin isn’t sure how much screentime the catbus actually has – maybe it’ll appear again later? – but something ominous makes itself known. From the side Chan’s lips turn up into an exasperated little smile as he glances between them. Felix sighs from deep inside his chest. Seungmin shakes his head with a resigned expression and Jeongin is fast asleep.

Fair. That’s fair. Hyunjin knows what’s coming. _Was it worth it, Hwang Hyunjin?_ He asks himself with regret.

He’s already up and running – maybe even screaming – to his bedroom by the time Minho gets up.

The rest is a blur.

Time passes. Hyunjin isn’t sure how much. Maybe he enjoys being tied up too much (also, there were no tissues around) but at least he has managed to make Minho laugh again.

Yes, you heard that right! It may not have been Hyunjin’s intention at first, but he isn’t blind to Minho’s sulking eyes and lips, downturned and confused, after getting rejected left and right by not only his soulmate (Jisung. This is Hyunjin’s favourite ship, you bet he’ll notice!) multiple times today, but also his favourite bullying victim (Not Hyunjin! This is Changbin) even though Minho had just wanted to help. Hyunjin still doesn’t know _why the hell_ Changbin and Jisung have been acting so weird ever since their paintball game and _why the hell_ neither Seungmin nor Jeongin want to spill the beans on that.

By now the movie in the other room has definitely finished.

And yet… nobody has come to save him.

Minho had tied Hyunjin to his bedpost with Hyunjin’s own t-shirt that was laying around – he really should learn to clean up his room better to avoid these situations… the material will be all stretched out! – and then Minho had promptly made himself comfortable and fallen asleep right beside Hyunjin. He must have been really tired, huh. He did mention he’s got a lot on his mind lately too. Or maybe he’s becoming like Felix who gets sleepy after meals.

Anyway. The worst part of all of this? Minho isn’t even cuddling him. Minho is just curled up right there with an empty space between them, back turned to him.

Ack! He truly knows how to make a man suffer!

The door creaks open.

Oh? A saviour? Hyunjin’s eyes zero in on the door.

Jisung peeks his head inside carefully, immediately spotting Minho with a small relieved smile before he even greets Hyunjin (well, he just _doesn’t_ greet Hyunjin), and then he’s already walking in and closing the door behind him.

Hyunjin blinks up at him with an unimpressed glare. “Are you done with whatever drama you were having with Changbin hyung?”

“Shh,” Jisung glares right back with a finger on his lips to signal silence and then smiles down at Minho again. He whispers the rest way too darkly for such a soft smile, “That’s not an easy feat, so don’t remind me of it, Hyunjin. We got nowhere with the actual problem and my brain is done for the day.” So he must’ve come to seek comfort in Minho. He sits down on the floor by Minho beside the bed, puts his arms carefully on the mattress and rests his cheek on them.

He stares at Minho as his smile drops into something thoughtful and serene.

Hyunjin feels like he’s intruding even though this is his own damn bedroom – ridiculous.

Something tells him that Changbin and Jisung might have talked about Minho. To have this conversation they will have to keep it quiet and discreet, lest they wake the sleeping beast that is Lee Minho.

“Jisung,” Hyunjin starts but Jisung keeps his eyes on Minho, only humming quietly to show he’s (maybe) listening to Hyunjin. Hyunjin sighs but continues, “What made you play the push-away game again? I know it looks like Minho hyung is playing with your feelings right now, but I thought you’re finally growing out of your clown’s shoes at least.”

At that Jisung snaps his head up with a surprised noise, eyes blinking like he’s been caught red-handed. He looks back at Minho again – definitely unable to keep eye contact with Hyunjin’s assessing gaze – and frowns, a blush creeping up his squished cheek as he rests it on his crossed arms again. “Ah… that. I don’t want to do that… Fuck, I _hate_ it.” The rubs his face into his arms with visible frustration.

Then he sighs and peeks up again. Still resting on the other arm, he reaches out with one hand and gently brushes away Minho’s hair from his forehead.

Hyunjin rolls his neck because damn, he’s been in this position for a long time and his arms are getting tired despite him being laid down on his back. “Then just stop it, man. You’re unnecessarily hurting yourself _and_ Minho hyung. At this rate he’ll move on to someone else.”

Jisung clicks his tongue, squints his eyes shut and pulls a disgusted face. His hand drops onto the mattress.

Hmm. “Did my words hit a sore spot?” Hyunjin raises a smug brow.

“My fist will hit a sore spot on your body if you don’t shut up,” Jisung opens his eyes only to send him a glare.

So Hyunjin’s correct then! But he doesn’t need to be hit anymore today. “I definitely have some bruises from paintball today so you better not touch me or I will use self-defense by height advantage.”

“I will bite.”

“That’s not playing fair.”

Jisung shrugs and goes back to staring at Minho. A wistful sigh through his nose – like Kkami does, when Kkami sits on the windowsill at home watching other dogs walk by. Is there a rodent version for that state of emotion?

Not that that matters right now. There’s clearly something he wants to say or ask or whatever. So Hyunjin waits. Even Minho can probably tell, despite being asleep. Weirdly enough Lee Minho has, like, a sixth sense just for Han Jisung. He’ll probably wake up in a bit just because his Jisungie-Senses are tingling, signalling him to cheer up his soulmate. Hopefully Hyunjin will be able to hone his own Seungminnie-Sense that sharp with time.

“Do you…” Jisung tries but chews his bottom lip over the words. “I… uhm. I’m… No. Uhm. What would you do if I had a crush on Seungmin?”

“You’re lucky I’m tied up right now.”

“Okay, wrong wording. Uh… what would you do if I was in love with Seungmin?”

“Untie me right now.”

“Fine. Forget it then. Don’t worry, Seungmin is a catch but I’m not interested like that.” Jisung rolls his eyes like Hyunjin is the one being stupid right now.

Hello? Hands off Seungmin! Damn. He’s 100% sure that Jisung is not in love with Seungmin so what the hell kind of question was that? Not to forget, Minho is right here. Someone up there hear him and wake the beast up so he can slap some sense into his soulmate to leave Hyunjin’s soulmate alone!

Okay. Breathe. All of Hyunjin’s friends are weird – Nr. 1 Minho, Nr. 2 Jisung – so give the poor guy the benefit of the doubt, come on.

“Would you do a threesome?”

“Oh my God, I will wake up Minho hyung if you ask one more stupid fucking question, Han Jisung.”

“Hmm,” Jisung’s frown is deep. “You’re right. I don’t think I could share Minho hyung. How do Chan hyung and Felix do their open relationship thing? It’s a cool idea and would solve like ten of my problems but I don’t really get it…”

Ah. So all these weird questions somehow have to do with Minho. Makes sense. See Hyunjin? This is why you should breathe and take a step back before resorting to drastic measures, even if people (Jisung) are being super dumb. But to answer Jisung’s question… “You do know that every person is different, right? Just respect that. I mean if you’re curious you can just ask Chan hyung and Felix yourself. And if you’re not interested in that, don’t force it. It’s simple.” By the way, why is he even thinking of sharing if he isn’t even exclusive with Minho hyung yet? Dumbass.

Jisung nods slowly and sternly, mulling it over. “I’m going crazy,” he says.

Hyunjin grins. No answer is also an answer!

“Ugh… Well, I respect it, obviously, but I don’t think I can do sharing like that…” Jisung rubs a hand over his face and his frown turns upwards to make his eyes shine roundly at Minho. His voice drops into something even softer. And it’s a little like he’s talking to himself. “I mean, if Minho hyung rejects me then that’s just how it is and I’ll have to accept that. As long as he won’t get rid of me, I’ll be fine. I just don’t wanna lose him… and–”

“If you start crying I will call Chan hyung because I can not and will not be able to handle that.”

“I’m not gonna start crying…!” Jisung hisses, voice just quiet enough not to rouse Minho’s sleep. He sighs, eyes dropping to Minho again. His gaze travels over Minho’s face and then to the hand balled into a loose fist by the older’s chest. He reaches out to hold it and gently rubs over Minho’s skin with his thumb. Again, that soft head-in-the-clouds-or-wherever tone. “I’m just… My brain is turning into pudding trying to figure out what to do. I want to be a good friend because I love my friends… But I also want to be able to freely _love_ love Minho hyung. No matter what, be by each other’s side, you know? He means too much to me to lose over something…” he searches for a fitting word but gives up. “...Well, something. He means too much to me. I don’t ever wanna lose him.”

Tender… Heartbreakingly tender. Maybe Hyunjin will be the one crying because of this. God, Minho should hear this.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about tho’.” Hyunjin sniffs and stays strong.

Jisung hums. “Whatever. What do you think? Like, in general about everything I said?”

Oh yeah, nice. Hyunjin loves adding his own two cents to things. He sniffs again and rubs his nose on his arm as best as he can and grins at Jisung. “I think you have, like, zero sense for your own privacy sometimes – and hopefully forever PG and by accident only – but you’ve always been set on Minho hyung and no one else. Ever since you two met. Last year you even saw me as a threat when Minho hyung gave me a lap dance at that party we forced you to come to, remember? And that was a dare. I mean I enjoyed the lap dance, obviously, but I didn’t deserve that hard butt slap from you nor did anybody deserve sulky Jisung hogging Minho hyung for the rest of the night. Despite being in denial about your feelings at that time too. So _yeah_ , I don’t think you could handle sharing.” Oh, that reminds Hyunjin. Ha! He almost forgot about that. “Have you heard of the notorious theatre days of MinBinChan? Oh boy, you’re gonna hate that one.”

Jisung’s hand stills on Minho’s and he straightens up. He narrows his eyes at Hyunjin, being careful. “What do you mean?”

“I dunno actually,” Hyunjin shrugs as best as he can in his current position, enjoying acting like an information broker but also riling Jisung up. “Professor Choi just really loves Chan hyung and Minho hyung. Well, she loves Chan hyung _with_ Minho hyung. She is convinced they’re dating. I think Seungmin knows more but best bet is just asking the three hyungs involved.”

Jisung’s mouth drops open and he takes a moment to let the words sink in. He sucks his lips in and then exhales a deep breath. “Yeah, I will do that. Uhm. In a chill way. Because, uh. C-Curiosity…”

“You can say you’re jealous, we all know.”

“Damn, dude. I’m doing my best here. No need to rub it in.”

Speaking of rubbing. Hyunjin’s arms are getting sore and so are his wrists and back. Someone should probably untie him soon. Also, he should totally ask Seungmin to rub his arms later. He’s got the perfect reasons to get well deserved rubs. Felix will probably offer a massage if he whines enough as well.

Woah, Minho tying him up really never ends up being a bad thing. He shall keep testing Minho’s limits.

For now though he has to be there for Jisung who has buried his face into the crook of his arm again, but still gently holding onto Minho’s loose fist. Usually Minho is a light sleeper but Hyunjin and Jisung did very well at keeping their conversation quiet.

“Hey Hyunjin…” Jisung’s muffled mumble comes through, sounding insecure.

Hyunjin takes pity. Just what is going on today? “Yeah, Jisungie?”

“I’m still a huge clown, aren’t I?”

Hyunjin takes a deep breath because he wants to say ‘yes’ with a lot of feeling.

But Minho makes an affirming noise instead. “Hn.”

 _Ah_.

Eyes widening, Jisung freezes after his head shoots up, skin paling. He throws Hyunjin a helpless look but Hyunjin only shrugs. Yeah, that was scary for half a second but no way. “You know he talks in his sleep sometimes. Last week it was jellyfish. Today? Who knows.” It’s not a question because nobody ever knows. He closes his eyes and makes a show of making himself comfortable (as best as it can be done when tied up to a bedpost). “Go on, Minho hyung, live your best life. We will listen.”

“Jisungie is a clown.”

Gulp. Hyunjin hears his own whimper. Oh, so he _is_ awake. Damn you, wishful thinking. Any other time sleepy Minho is somewhere between cute and hot but right now, _scary_ , despite the soft and sleep-ridden tone. They talked about so much he definitely wasn’t supposed to hear. Maybe it was stupid to talk with Minho right here after all but everyone is dumb sometimes – some days more than on others.

Just how much did Minho hear? What will the consequences be? Tissues will definitely not be enough.

(Don’t get excited, Hwang Hyunjin! This is a serious matter!)

When he opens his eyes to carefully check, he sees Minho has his eyes open and directed at Jisung. He doesn’t look mad at all but he doesn’t look happy either. Although Hyunjin is no expert yet. Still, Jisung is blushing with shame and keeps glancing up into Minho’s eyes and down into his own lap where he has chosen to sit on his knees with his hands on his thighs. He must’ve pulled away as soon as Minho opened his eyes.

Minho sits up and stretches. All Hyunjin and Jisung can do is watch with bated breath.

“It’s okay, I’m not mad,” Minho says and it really sounds like he isn’t. He just sounds dazed and soft, defenses low. He rubs his eyes with both hands and then smiles a little cat-like smile like he often does, not looking at either of them. “There is nothing to be mad about. I have a lot to think about too and it shows in my sleep schedule so… thanks for letting me nap here, Hyunjinnie.” He turns his head to nod once at Hyunjin.

“You’re welcome?” Hyunjin reponds unsurely.

Then Minho turns to look at Jisung still sitting on the floor. From here, Hyunjin can only see half of his face but the fondness in Minho’s eyes – as they crinkle and smile, directed at Jisung – is hard to miss. Especially when Minho reaches out and ruffles Jisung’s hair wordlessly, lingering for a moment too long. What is Minho thinking right now?

Jisung looks so clueless and lost – it’s enough to make Minho genuinely chuckle, hiding his mouth behind his hand. Aww, no way, this is so cute. Hyunjin has to laugh a little too, while Jisung just blinks at them helplessly.

“Haa…” Minho breathes out softly, still grinning, and gets up to leave. He doesn’t even look back when he closes the door behind him, leaving Hyunjin and Jisung alone in Hyunjin’s bedroom.

Jisung keeps blinking at the closed door, lips pursing in absolute confusion. He tilts his head. “Minho hyung… is so weird.”

“Yeah,” Hyunjin laughs, “But you love it.”

Finally Jisung cracks a soft little smile and his eyes are sparkling, “Yeah, I do.” He gets up and follows Minho out the room.

And so Hyunjin is left alone in his bedroom. He takes a breather – well, that was rollercoaster for sure! He’ll have to tell Seungmin all about it. He might listen to be a good boyfriend and listener but oh, Felix and Jeongin! They’ll love this for sure. Minho and Jisung were too cute just now to not share.

Hyunjin smiles contently.

…

Wait.

They just left him here all tied up. Cruel monsters is all they are!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#4.13.19. P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Hwang Hyunjin  
>  **Other (3) :** one of the only four people ever to have gotten a lap dance from Minho (the others are Chan, Jisung and Jeongin), Jeongin has been asking him weird questions lately, is actually not related to Hwang Yeji but people keep insisting, bought matching t-shirts for himself, Seungmin and Kkami  
>  **How do you feel about the current events?:** “I’ve been tied up on my own bed with my own t-shirt for more than the entirety of a Ghibli movie now. Nobody has come to save me. What do you think? [...] Okay, well, I just hope everyone will turn out fine. I’m going to try and offer Changbin hyung a listening ear later as well... If someone would just untie me please.”
> 
> * * *
> 
> hello!! i’m just in time to wish everyone happy holidays and a happy new year!!  
> early but just in time, right? i hope you’re doing well. (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡  
> geez, these boys. feelings can be so messy, right? humans can be so frustrating sometimes too. still, they’re usually trying their best in their own ways.  
> ah, well, what do you think?  
> i'd love to read your thoughts in the comments! ☆


	20. Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seven seconds for a taste of heaven. Put it in your wallet to keep, my friend.

When Jisung wakes up on the carpet of the living room, limbs sprawled out without a mattress or a pillow, only a blanket thrown over him and his friends around looking just like him but still asleep, it’s like he’s wide-awake and half in dreamland all the same.

Right, they all stayed in the hyung-line apartment again, didn’t they? He feels his dark hair sticking up into all directions and the back of his head feeling a little itchy, probably from laying flat on the floor for so long. Using his knee as a pillow is Felix and that’s gotta be uncomfortable because those are Jisung’s _knees_ , and Felix’s tummy is Changbin’s pillow while Hyunjin is, surprisingly, laying by himself in the corner.

In search of the rest of their friends, he finds Chan with his face between pillows on the couch still fully asleep, and then he hears clanking noises from the kitchen and hushed talking.

Jisung’s eyes take a while to focus but blinking ten times and he’s watching Minho and Seungmin quietly converse at the kitchen table. Seungmin is eating cereal in the same clothes and messy hairstyle from last night and Minho seems to have already gotten ready in jeans and an oversized pink wool sweater, hair tamed too – perks of sleepovers at your own apartment.

(He looks pretty, as always, pretty enough to be part of Jisung’s dreamland – Jisung wonders just when he’s gotten so fucking mushy-feely about Minho. Another thing though, something he’ll probably never stop wondering about, is how he managed to deny it for so long. But that isn’t really that important, considering everything else.)

Jeongin probably left earlier this morning, back to the dorms maybe.

Last night had not ended quietly with a movie marathon as planned at first. Instead it had turned into an impromptu karaoke session with lyric videos from YouTube streaming on the TV screen; Jisung still has Seungmin’s (DAY6’s) Congratulations on loop in his head.

“Oh, you’re up,” Seungmin acknowledges Jisung with mild interest when he makes his way into the kitchen area. Jisung gives him a sleepy nod in return.

Now up close, Jisung sees the (bitten) carrot in Minho’s hand. “G’mornin’…” he mumbles in greeting and puts his hands on Minho’s shoulders to massage them lightly from behind. Minho only cranes his neck back to acknowledge him with round eyes and thinned lips (that, it’s obviously to hide his satisfied noises).

It makes Jisung _melt_ when their eyes meet, he inevitably has to smile.

Minho turns his head back down and Jisung thinks it’s to hide his own smile. _Geez, hyung, you’re not subtle_ , he wants to tease him. But he makes do with working the knots out of his shoulders and upper back gently. Minho is sensitive and if you press too hard while massaging, well, that should probably happen in private and without anyone asleep around or–

“Can you guys not do this in front of me?” Seungmin gives them a disgusted and unamused look, spoon with cereal and milk halfway up for his mouth paused.

 _Snap, crunch, crunch_. “I’m not doing anything,” Minho huffs a quiet laugh, something smug in it that makes Jisung smile brighter. Then he gets up from his seat – Jisung lets his hands slide away from his shoulders with ease – and shoves the small rest of the carrot in his mouth. He turns to look at Jisung and blinks once with pursed lips, “Bunny rights.” He pauses watchfully, holding eye contact, as Jisung just frowns and stares back at him in confusion. Minho seems to contemplate in his pause, weight shifting to one leg and the other in the lightest manner, but he seems to drop it. And then, with slow loitering steps and eyes going over everyone in the living-kitchen area, he’s already leaving.

Jisung’s eyes stay on him, upper body turning to watch him go.

“I’m going to the supermarket down the street,” Minho quietly announces, like he doesn’t even care if anyone hears him and flicks his fingers once as if there was a piece of loose lint on it. 

“Okay…” Jisung nods slowly and swallows, going through his unkempt hair with a hand. His mind already overthinks the situation more than could ever be necessary.

Maybe he should follow, just so it’ll be like all of their convenience store runs before Jisung ever (realised he) fell, before Changbin tripped too, and before Minho turned into the mess that happens between them. Maybe he should follow, just so he can listen to Minho muse about nothing or everything, can see the way the sun falls into his crinkling eyes whenever Jisung manages to make him smile, can feel Minho’s hand brushing against his and maybe enjoy it without thinking of anyone else but Minho and him. Ignore the world around them to build their own as they so often do but haven’t gotten the chance to properly do lately.

Once Minho is out of view around the corner at the front door, Jisung turns back to Seungmin and puts his hands in his pants pockets. “What time is it?”

“Nine,” Seungmin answers, tapping away at his phone with one hand. “Go with him.”

“Huh? No, I’m–”

“You want to. Badly. Just because your friend wants what you want, doesn’t mean you can’t have or deserve it.” Seungmin doesn’t even look up from his phone and Jisung wonders what he talked about with Minho to tell Jisung this or whether he just came up with that on the spot by seeing Jisung look stupid. “It’s not like you’ll do anything to get over him just because of… that thing. Sometimes you just need to stay on the ball. And see what happens. I would know.”

Jisung’s mouth feels dry but he swallows anyway to stiffly nod and make a small noise of affirmation. _You would?_ He wants to ask but doesn’t, lest he miss Minho’s departure. Relax, Jisung. He hears keys jingling at the front door – the tell-tale sign that Minho has picked them up to take with him and leave – so Jisung turns swiftly and runs.

And then _stumbles_ over _fucking_ nothing in the middle of going around the corner and, not able to take his hands out of his pockets fast enough to stabilise himself in time, _falls flat on his face_ – **Wham!**

Eyes clenched shut, he sighs heavily onto the laminated floor (ignoring Seungmin’s muffled mocking laugh) and turns his head to the side, praying the throbbing on his forehead and nose means nothing is broken. He hears a whimper that suspiciously sounds like his own.

Well, that’s one way to wake up from sleep daze! At least he didn’t crash into any furniture.

“You okay?” Minho nonchalantly asks from somewhere above him.

Jisung makes a noise that vaguely sounds like a ‘yes’ and then opens his eyes to see Minho crouched in front of him, prompting Jisung to lift his head and carefully prop himself up on his elbows. Minho reaches out to pet him on the head, a faint smile on his lips and eyes warm.

And his heart beats loudly, almost drowning out the painful throbbing of his head – something there will probably turn into a bump – and thinks his heart must be so foolish for focusing on the curve of Minho’s smiling lips, or the way his eyes shine like gems – Jisung could stare into them all day to count galaxies – or the way his voice sounds like a melody Jisung wants to write the lyrics to and _fuck_ , maybe he just hit his head too hard because–

“I guess you fell for me?” Minho’s warm smile turns into a mischievous grin, but his voice contradicts the playfulness with how soft and breathy it is. “Sorry, you fell so fast I couldn’t catch you.”

That’s all it takes for Jisung’s whole body to become too warm, he’s sure he’s turning pink.

Part of it makes Jisung think _Ah, is this how Minho finally acknowledges Jisung’s feelings?_ while another part of him thinks back to being called a clown again and all the other times he’s been one. But maybe that doesn’t matter because Minho’s eyes become a little rounder with worry, eyebrows furrowing the slightest bit and grin wavering awkwardly.

“Hey Jisung, you okay?” He tries again and frowns with his entire face when he notices that Jisung starts smiling dopily (oh, definitely, because that’s how he feels). “Damn, did you get a concussion from that?”

Jisung shakes his head loosely, hair bouncing with the movement and then makes to get up, immediately taking the hand Minho offers him without losing any word about it.

Jisung holds onto his hand, doesn’t let it go. Minho’s hand is softer and a little smaller than his or – in other words Jisung has always thought about – the perfect fit. The warmth of the touch, solid and safe and grounding. When he tries to think of why he fell in love with Minho then he’ll come up with all the things he loves about Minho.

Woah, his mind just doesn’t want to shut up today _. The audacity…_ Jisung feels betrayed by himself. These days come and go and today certainly isn’t the fucking time. He lets go of Minho’s hand.

Minho huffs a confused little chuckle and motions for him to get ready, as if knowing Jisung wanted to come with him. Jisung does so, quickly shrugging his fluffy jacket on and stepping into his boots while Minho already leaves the apartment, leaving the door open behind him. Jisung doesn’t try too hard to hide his giddy grin, happy his friend knows him so well even on days like this when he doesn’t understand himself.

The thing is that sometimes people fall in love with someone for no reason. No logic to trace back to or make a witty joke about because no matter the circumstances or state of the world, falling in love with someone happens because of who _you_ are as a person, and who _they_ are as a person. Just because Minho is this Lee Minho and Jisung is this Han Jisung, Jisung fell in love with him.

So that just now can be a metaphor: Jisung fell, literally fell for Minho. Minho who either seemingly unaffectedly makes it all look simple or always smiles at him with too much play and warmth in his voice – it’s so hard to know if he caught what’s meant to be in his hands.

Catching it doesn’t mean keeping it but Jisung hopes like the foolish clown he is. He’s got a lot to make up for too, ah, how troublesome.

When it comes to Minho he wants to be selfish, that’s already been established. So damn selfish. He doesn’t even feel bad about it most of the time because he loves Minho but he also loves that he loves Minho. Does that even make any sense? Who else is lucky enough to fall for their soulmate, knowing that even if the love returned isn’t the same kind, it would still be love? And knowing that there is someone so wonderful whose soul seamlessly fits with the puzzle pieces of your own?

Jisung wants to keep running after Minho, wants to be allowed touches and kisses and hugs and cuddles and tongues and words, sounds and thoughts, and most importantly… he wants Minho to love all of that. Just wants Minho to then love him back too. He doesn’t want to watch another do all that.

Jisung probably lied when he said he’d be able to take rejection as casually as he did.

“Yo, it’s freezing. Shut the door already,” Changbin’s voice comes from behind, groggy from having just woken up, and Jisung bites down on his dying grin because that’s the messed-up part and he’s sorry again. So damn sorry. “Jisung? If you’re leaving, then leave. What are you standing here for, dude? Oh…” Changbin pauses once he’s in front of Jisung to see what’s up, his sleepy eyes narrowing even more. “Damn, did you hit your head?”

Jisung sighs deeply, staring at his friend and finally coming back down to earth. “Ah, _hyung_ ,” he whines with wide eyes and pouty downturned lips; the kind of face that always manages to annoy Changbin when Jisung is the one who does it. “I don’t fucking know what to do anymore.”

Changbin’s mouth opens to debate what words to form next but gosh, honestly, he just takes too fucking long. Jisung has someone waiting for him.

So he turns, he leaves and he closes the door behind him on his way out.

Minho has waited long enough.

* * *

“Dude, Jisung got this huge red bump on his forehead… what happened?” Changbin asks Seungmin, sitting down with his own bowl of cereal for breakfast.

Seungmin shrugs. From next to him Changbin sees only a bunch of text and when he leans his head further there…

… Seungmin’s hand slaps against his forehead and pushes him away, not even looking up from his phone. “Jisung fell for Minho hyung. Well, he fell on his face and it even made a loud noise, might be very empty in there.”

Changbin pouts and rubs his forehead. “Ah, yeah, I don’t know how Jisung can be both smart and dumb, but it’s his brand. Haha, no wonder I woke up tho’, huh.”

“Yeah,” Seungmin says and finally puts his phone down to fully turn his attention to the older one next to him. “I know you’re older than me and you know I don’t care and neither do you, but I really have to say this and for once I don’t say it out of disrespect but _please sort your shit out_ , you and Jisung. And then with Minho hyung too, both of you. It’s getting hard to watch, I’m pissed. I just saw Jisung fall in love all over again by faceplanting on the floor. You’re all…” Seungmin trails off there with a frown, finding no words, and waves his hand as if he could wave all that mess away.

Changbin laughs at his funny expression, just a little. “We will, I think,” Changbin admits, despite his laughter becoming some weird cringe. “No rush. We always work it out somehow. This won’t be any different.”

“I hope so.” That’s all Seungmin offers with a supportive smile.

Ahh, Changbin just has to cuddle Seungmin right now. Of course, Changbin sneaks his arms around his friend and tsundere mode is activated again – their chairs wobble and squeak. Seungmin is already pushing Changbin half-heartedly away while hiding a smile.

At first Seungmin only squirms in his hold but then he starts making small noises of disapproval. Changbin’s giggles fill the room and Seungmin’s laughter, too, when Changbin starts tickling him. Somewhere in the distance they hear Hyunjin sleep-warbled yell, “My Seungminnie-Senses are tingling…!” and the rest of the boys wake up in the shortest time, thanks to the growing ruckus.

* * *

The day somehow manages to be sunny without the sun visible and just the right amount of cold but not too cold, yet again. The sky is a bright blue.

As soon as Jisung stepped out the apartment building, Minho spotted him and promptly started walking into the direction of the supermarket as promised. They made some small talk (“Why did you eat a single carrot for breakfast?” – “Actually I ate two, but you were only present for the second one.” – “Ah, I see.” – “Nutritious.” – “For sure.”) and then slowly transitioned into a comfortable silence. Just as usual.

So it’s a comfortable silence right now; even when Minho walks straight past the supermarket and Jisung doesn’t pause too long in confusion, just keeps following Minho.

The brand Minho endorses may be ‘I have Resting Bitch Face, don’t even try to read me, you small fry’ but Jisung knows him well enough by now to know that Minho may look like he’s got somewhere to be, what with the confident steps and eyes steady up front, but he’s actually _just walking_ with no actual aim for some reason (plus, the next supermarket isn’t anywhere he’d voluntarily go to on foot).

Honestly the sidewalk can become a bit of catwalk when next to someone with so much, well, silent charisma. Plus, Minho is just really fucking pretty and his voice is Jisung’s personal magic tune. Ah… Minho, Jisung has been thinking a lot about him lately, but everyone already knows that.

Minho’s one of a kind soul is more than a friend to Jisung. And his body is somehow hard and yet so sensitive and soft: fitting the soul. All Minho is… Jisung wants to be the one to take care of it all. Deep brown eyes sparkling in the sun light, like somehow Minho still manages to carry the starry night sky with him wherever he goes, the tip of his nose a rosy tone due to the cold and his lips… they look so soft… he must be using that new lipbalm he told Jisung about a while ago. Strawberry milk, wasn’t it? – Jisung always remembers these things, unlike for musical theories and compositions, Jisung never needed to study Minho to remember him.

Ah, but it’s not like he wouldn’t want to. His lips for example. Jisung wonders if his lips really taste like strawberry milk now or if his lips will still taste only like _Minho_.

If Minho smells like _Minho_ and _lavender_ , then maybe he tastes like Minho and something flowery too. Maybe that’s what makes up flowerboys and heartthrobs. Maybe all of them smell and taste like flowers look. But Jisung doesn’t care about anyone else when he has Minho by his side.

(Maybe that’s a bit of a problem _or_ he should make it his problem. He should work on that. Remember to still care about other people, to not want to be so selfish with Minho. Don’t think of forgetting everyone else when you’re with him. But you badly want that, don’t you? That’s not right, is it? You should work on that. Right? _Right?_

It must be right? What are you going to do about this? You’re still thinking about _it_ at the back of your mind even when you don’t want to. Minho isn’t even yours, maybe he doesn’t even want you, you don’t even know a thing, Jisung. And yet you want him so badly. Aren’t you a little pathetic these days?)

What’s Minho thinking right now? If Minho knew about the thoughts swirling inside his head, then Minho would probably perfectly know what to say, wouldn’t he? Or maybe it’s just because it’s Minho that whatever he’d say in response would be perfect. A little playful maybe, but he’d manage to make Jisung feel better, more awake.

Well, that trail of thought isn’t very helpful either.

Relax, Jisung. Don’t think too much in broad daylight.

Lose sleep over it but don’t make your day about it.

“Are you hungry?”

Minho slows down his steps but doesn’t spare Jisung a glance and Jisung snaps his stare away onto the asphalt, shoving his hands inside his pockets. “Not really, not yet…” he shrugs as innocently as possible.

“Do you stare so much because you find me pretty?”

“ _Hah_?” Jisung squeaks out, sputtering and almost tripping over his feet again – Minho only now looks at him, watching Jisung lose his composure without losing his own.

Was he really that obvious? Minho didn’t even look at him until now… whatever, who doesn’t find Minho pretty? Yeah, so many people find Minho attractive, don’t they. It’s not a question. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he tells Minho, calming himself down with a deep and hopefully inconspicuous breath. The kind where when you run up the stairs and don’t want your friends to think you hate sports. “Everyone thinks you’re pretty, hyung.”

“I asked about you though.”

True. “Yeah, of course I think you’re pretty.”

Minho hums and looks away again.

Then, “You stare at me a lot.”

Well, damn. “So? You pay attention to me that much?” Jisung fires back in the smuggest way he can, can’t help but smile through the banter and watch Minho’s reaction. Because Minho laughs and his gaze finally drops down. He doesn’t say anything at first and it’s not like he has to – when Jisung thinks about it, Minho has been up to talking a lot more lately anyway, no matter what Jisung throws at him – like he’s thinking about something that only widens his smile.

When Minho looks up and meets Jisung’s eyes again, steps slowly coming to a stop and Jisung is already mimicking him, Minho casually points upwards behind Jisung with his smile turning deceivingly innocent, like he’s definitely got something up his sleeve.

Oh, they’re at the supermarket again.

Wait, did… did they walk a whole round through the neighbourhood?

“You’re distracted so easily,” Minho grins and nudges his shoulder with his own when he walks past to enter the supermarket. “Especially since last night. I think you need some cheering up.”

Jisung follows and admits, “I’m still thinking about yesterday. And other things, I guess, too.”

“Like what?” Minho asks, browsing through the aisles. The supermarket isn’t very big and only a few people are there ever at once. There’s the cashier, a pair of elderly people and some teen buying candy at the counter.

“Like you…?” Jisung isn’t sure why he sounds so unsure of his answer, it’s not a lie after all but he hopes Minho won’t ask more or he’s afraid he’ll spill the whole story. But Minho stops in front of the refrigerators, opens one of the glass doors and reaches inside – takes two handy cartons of strawberry milk to-go – and then closes them again to look at Jisung with a blank expression except his raised brow. He tilts his head at Jisung.

Of course, Jisung immediately tries again. “I think a lot about you.” He sounds surer this time.

Minho smiles, a genuine and warm one. Not the kind that makes his eyes crinkle at the sides but the one that makes his sharp eyes become soft. (Is… ‘fond’ the word for it?) And then Minho twirls around, strawberry milk cartons dramatically up in the air but his voice deadpans in contrast. “I’ll go pay. You can wait outside.”

Okay… Jisung watches Minho go and then shakes his head, walking towards the exit with his hands inside his fluffy jacket’s pockets. On his way outside he sees a flyer about that specific milk brand on discount. Must be why Minho bought it. Those milk cartons are perfect to-go, perfect handy size, easy to open and – Jisung thinks it’s ironic – perfectly the taste he’s craving right now. Today might be the only day he’d choose something else over cheesecake without pause.

A sigh.

Bright days like this should not be spend in a whirlwind inside your own head, but instead be spend doing fun things outside. Like going shopping or, uh, wait, Jisung actually likes staying at home. The weather doesn’t matter and neither does time, really. He should totally go to his dorm later and spend the day catching up with his favourite anime.

Yeah, he’ll just say goodbye to Minho and go home after this. His mind is too messy to think clearly anyway, who knows what he’ll try on Minho or how lost he’ll get in his eyes like some damn middle-schooler with a crush.

Well, he is _Han Jisung_ with a crush.

To be honest, middle school him wasn’t like this at all.

_Ugh._

(Only a crush would be easier on everyone though.)

He sees himself in the reflection of the supermarket’s glass walls – damn, he looks like a red traffic light is on his forehead… did he walk around with this terrible bedhead the whole time too? Minho that demon didn’t even say a thing! – and while fixing his hair the best he can with the help of his reflection in the glass, behind it he sees Minho done with paying and on his way outside already.

Once Minho comes to stand in front of him and Jisung’s hair neater, Minho is handing him one of the strawberry milk cartons, rips open the one in his own hands and then drinks.

Jisung just stares. Not at his pretty side profile, or the way his neck shows every gulp, or… no, it isn’t in slow motion. Jisung just stares with a question. But he also wonders why he even questions this. Of course, Minho would give him the other milk carton but something about this feels terribly ironic and he can’t quite believe it.

Minho smacks his lips quietly, savouring the taste, before he notices Jisung’s stare and the unopened drink in his hands. He frowns a little, a questioning stare right back with a hint of teasing for Jisung probably looking dumbfounded.

Jisung gulps. “Uh,” he mumbles at first and then clears his throat to find his voice again, eyes blinking rapidly as he tries not to get too lost in his thoughts. Or Minho. Which is kind of… the same thing right now anyway. “Thanks.” He opens his drink and takes one quick gulp, ignoring the way Minho keeps staring as if it’s for payback.

Then he even meets Minho’s eyes, casually. “Why did we go around the neighbourhood?”

Minho grins at that, takes another gulp of his own drink and throws him a wink. “Wanted to see how long you’d follow me.”

This really isn’t the time to feel offended in the fondest sense there is, but he walks right into the conversation anyway. “Hyung… is this one of your experiments again?” he asks like he’s actually exasperated.

“Sometimes I just wanna make you exercise,” Minho giggles. Ah, so it has to be one of his experiments then… _no, Jisung, you wanted to go home! Keep glaring at him. Don’t– oh no…_ Minho steps closer, reaches out to lightly tug at Jisung’s sleeve jacket with that giggly smile and Jisung feels the fight leave his body immediately and he can’t even find the strength to be mad about it. “Hey Jisung, there is actually something I’ve been thinking of showing you. I wasn’t sure until now but… Wanna go there with me? It’ll be a surprise!”

Minho’s eyes are full of excited expectation (maybe that was the reason for the walk around the neighbourhood). It tugs at Jisung’s heartstrings.

“Ah today…?” Jisung blinks his eyes away but they keep getting pulled to Minho’s anyway, so he just looks kind of stupid. “I wanted to go home, you know, and I…” he trails off, getting stuck on Minho’s expression again. His furrowing eyebrows, the way his lips become a thin line and his eyes fall down towards where he’s still holding onto Jisung’s sleeve.

Why can’t he just not be able to read Minho right now? The sadness is written all over his face, it’s too hard– no, too painful for Jisung to ignore. “And I, uhm,” he starts anew, like he wanted to say that anyway. “I wanted to do that with you, so let’s go to my dorm later and watch some anime after you show me, okay?”

“Yes!” Minho brightens up immediately, grinning wide and this time his eyes do become crescent moons and Jisung is so fucking glad he didn’t decline him.

He starts walking, tugging Jisung along by the jacket sleeve and by his heartstrings.

Jisung smiles – really, he has to – as he listens to Minho talk. He hasn’t seen Minho this excited in a while. “You won’t believe it but I’ve been debating with myself for so long if I should just show you. My failed experiments didn’t make it much easier for me either, you know…” the smile is in his voice too.

Jisung takes a sip of his strawberry milk. If Minho’s smiles taste like this then it might become his new favourite flavour. “What are your experiments even supposed to achieve? Is this about my feelings?” he laughs, eyes on Minho instead of his surroundings, trusting him to show him the right way and not let him bump into anything. And somehow it feels less embarrassing to mention them the more he feels their personal little bubble expanding around them and becoming solid. “You already know how I feel. I told you.”

Minho scoffs, then laughs and almost sing-songs, “What you say and what you do, Jisung, doesn’t always match.”

“Same with you!” Jisung immediately fires back and only now realises that Minho slid his hand down, because their skin touches and warms where they meet, fingers automatically intertwining. Jisung smiles down at their joined hands. He feels warm and giddy. “You’re hard to figure out, Lee Minho!”

They walk by a trash can and throw away their empty milk cartons. “I’m really not… Maybe.” Minho sounds like he wants to say more but looks down with a smile instead.

It’s cute. He’s so cute. He makes it so easy to smile with him.

Jisung nudges his shoulder against Minho’s and brings his face closer in a teasing manner to smugly tell him that, “Nah, definitely! Heartthrobs are always hard to figure out, hyung, especially the ones that do experiments. Everyone agrees with me.”

“Nobody agrees with you. Even Chan hyung and Felix understand my experiments. They know they’re only allowed to talk about it with me though, you know. It's not up for debate.”

Jisung tilts his head, still smiling but lips pursing a little. “Hey, you’re not only friends with the Australians. Changbin hyung is curious about your experiments too, you know. You said failed but I kind of have to disagree, I think, depending on what it’s actually about.”

Minho stops and turns his head to look at him with a raised brow and a confused smile. “How does Changbin even know? Did you tell him?”

“No, I…” Jisung blinks and his smile drops to make space for confusion. Minho waits curiously, watching his face contort. Wait. No way. That’s true. How does Changbin know about Minho’s experiments? Jisung never talked to anyone about them and Minho apparently only talked to the loyal Australian duo in secret so…

“Ah,” Minho puts a finger up like a lightbulb went off in his head, tilting his head at Jisung again. “Did he maybe listen to us talk that night? Hmm…”

Oh, what the fuck.

That’s rude _and_ stupid. Changbin is a huge idiot and probably took that conversation and just assumed things on his own. His observations aren’t that reliable in the first place – Jisung is in love with Minho too! He’d know! – and yet Changbin talked smack like that yesterday. What else made him come to conclusions all on his own? Nobody knows what Minho thinks! Not even Jisung who clumsily pushes all the right buttons; neither Changbin who has too much of a thing for the audience seat apparently. He acted so high and mighty but he’s also just a loser in love.

Forget cool, Changbin is a coward as much as Jisung was in his denial phase!

Seo Changbin, you little--!

“That’s probably it. Though there wasn’t really much to be curious about since I only asked how you felt about me.” Huh? Minho shrugs and then narrows his eyes into a mild glare, looking off into the distance and shaking his head in mild disappointment. But Jisung shouldn’t get distracted because Changbin– “I swear nobody in this damn friendgroup has a sense of privacy and that must be why I’m losing my too… Maybe I need more emotionally-aware friends or something.” Minho doesn’t even sound surprised by Changbin listening in, probably because Seungmin did too but the problem with Changbin is–

Wait. Hold on, that’s not right. “Wait, wait, wait, hyung, you kissed my neck that night in the bathroom.” Jisung watches Minho’s blinks turn towards him with his lips in an ‘o’ shape as he listens to Jisung speak. “I basically died and went to heaven for a whole second… But even if you don’t count that in...” Phew, remembering it already makes him warm up _everywhere_ and blush but _hey_. “You always do that kind of stuff to me and you were super intense that night too. Of course, it’s something to be curious about!”

“But it’s the kind of stuff you always did to me too!” Minho frowns, taking his hand out of Jisung’s to jab a finger at his chest instead. (Shit, there might be a bruise from paintball.)

“I _never_ kissed your neck!” Jisung half-shrieks at Minho, feeling scandalised, blood rushing to his ears. “You think I’d experiment on you like _that_?!”

Minho starts sputtering. “You didn’t even know you weren’t straight until a while ago, so I dunno! With how you acted, I assumed I was your gay awakening because of that!” he complains, frown deepening and jabbing at Jisung’s chest again. He’s the one yelling now, but he’s also progressively getting redder. It’s cute– please, Jisung, not the point! “And I already told you that night, I just did that because _I wanted to_ , you dumbass! It has nothing to do with my experiment! The experiment was just asking how you felt about me and watching your reactions! And then I was going to ask a list of questions I found online! Chan hyung even gave me his approval!”

Minho is breathing heavily by the end, glare softening and falling on the asphalt between them. Jisung feels speechless but at the same time, he isn’t _that_ surprised. He isn’t sure how he feels. It makes sense, Minho is only mean the first time you look, otherwise he’s too careful to play around like that. An online questionnaire though… Jisung wants to laugh. That’s… an unexpectedly weird kind of experiment to check on someone’s feelings for you.

Then again, it’s Minho after all.

Ah. Jisung finally realises where they are: somewhere near the park, the one Minho and Jisung always use to go home through, since it’s the longer way and they can goof off after university obligations before hanging out at the hyung-line apartment. Nearby the ice cream parlour Minho often visits with Jeongin during summer. It’s familiar but Jisung doesn’t have much time to dwell in its familiarity.

Today his brain is overpowered anyway. Maybe since yesterday, like some malfunctioning robot. (Although after this Changbin totally did deserve that shot of yellow paint from him, thank you.)

Minho’s voice is quiet the next time he opens his mouth; it’s a shy mumble. “Yongbok said I’m going way too easy on you, that I should be harsher, that I should be mean to you like you were to me… but it’s not like you were the only one ever being mean between us. Besides that, Yongbok also said it’s a good way to understand for me why you guys keep calling me a heartthrob.” He laughs at the title, somewhere between confused, bitter and genuinely amused. “He said you’d be the most honest about it. And that you’d know best, Jisung.” Minho seems to debate whether he wants to say the next thing, but ultimately does. “Everyone and everything seems to be telling me that lately.”

Clowns are supposed to be funny but maybe all Jisung is, is the mean type. Can he still be special to Minho when things are this damn messy? Not in the way Jisung wishes to be, maybe. Minho and Jisung are friends too after all; he should have treated Minho like his friend, _his best friend_.

“It’s not like I don’t know it without their input… and I stopped being scared of it a long time ago. Other things surrounding it are scarier,” Minho chuckles quietly, a little forced. Looking this way and that but somehow, for once, does not seem to dare to look into Jisung’s eyes. His voice is gentle in a way that Jisung feels resonate deep within his own heart, listening intently. “I don’t want to lose what we have either. I know it’s hard to find the limits. I told you, running in circles is just what we do – you and I.”

Denial or not. Love or not.

(Love…? Wait, when did he start using that word so confidently? Why can’t it just be a crush? He doesn’t want to hurt a friend, or two.)

“Ah… hyung,” Jisung starts, feeling so sorry for all of this mess, and steps closer, making Minho look up by a gentle touch of his finger to Minho’s chin.

Minho looks so pretty looking up at him like that.

Today’s been a day of swimming thoughts and troublesome imagination. A swift current always leading him to Minho. Maybe Jisung is just a foolish idiot in love with his best friend. Maybe he always will be. Because Han Jisung is so blindly sure of having found his soulmate in Lee Minho, he doesn’t think he could ever tone his heart down to see and want Minho in only a platonic manner.

“Hyung, I’m sorry,” he tells him and knows Minho tries to see through him, searching his eyes. “All this mess is on me. I didn’t mean to stress you out or scare you. I don’t want to keep running in circles either.”

“But you hid it,” Minho almost whispers, fingers loosely curling around Jisung’s wrist. Jisung doesn’t need to touch his chin to keep him from looking away anymore but he keeps his hand there, even goes farther and cups his cheek because he just can’t fucking help it when Minho looks at him like that. “The bunny, why did you hide it again if you don’t want to run in circles anymore?”

Jisung feels sorry again, opens his mouth to explain but isn’t sure what words to use. The bunny plushie from the crane machine. The bunny wasn’t in his boots this morning, he didn’t notice. How had he not noticed? Where did the bunny go?

No, that doesn’t matter.

Before he can find the words, Minho gives him time by explaining himself more. “I talked with Seungmin about it,” he nuzzles his hand like that night in the bathroom but it’s not dark or hot around here, it’s just strawberry milk with a hint of something bitter.

So the way Minho’s eyes soften and his lips tug into a gentle smile, surprises Jisung. “You see,” Minho says. He sounds shy but not bitter at all, like the bitterness was a matter of the moment he found the plushie and everything after solved it. “Seungmin told me you might just be scared. And that I know you best so I shouldn’t think about you in the way others do, but in the way I do.”

“Because you know me best,” Jisung meant it as a question but his voice turned it into a soft and insecure statement instead.

His other hand reaches up to cup Minho’s other cheek and he thinks this is where his hands belong.

Minho nods, his bright sparkling eyes carrying the night sky on a clear blue day, travelling all over Jisung’s face – all over, all over, _all over_.

Jisung is a little lost and wonders what Minho thinks. And he wants to ask for permission, lean and taste.

But he’s tasted enough strawberry milk for today, right?

“Come,” Minho says then, gently, pulling Jisung along by the hem of his jacket and it’s only then that he realises Minho is tugging him into a white photobooth by the entrance to the park, stuck between thick trees. “I’m sure this will cheer you up.”

Jisung is a little thrown off, falling out of his daze a little. “Since when was this photobooth here?”

“They built this just recently,” Minho explains once they’re inside the cramped space. “Apparently people really love this park and they thought this was a great way to attract couples. It was part of one of Hyunjin’s projects this semester, it’s how I found out about it.”

They make themselves as comfortable as possible in the limited space and position themselves in front of the camera. Photobooths have kind of become their thing. Whenever they see one, they take photos in one and then keep the photos in their wallets or hidden in their bedside tables.

“Do you remember when I asked you in what way you liked me?” Minho casually asks, still with a smile, as he taps away at the photobooth’s digital screen to get it ready. “Seungmin wrote it into his script. Other things I told him too. Do you think I talk too much to him these days?”

“Yeah, I remember and no, you two are funny.” Jisung snorts a laugh at the random change of topics, wondering whether Seungmin’s written scenes were exaggerated into romance or if Minho’s and Jisung’s time together somehow always becomes a little too much to be looked at as simply friendly. Maybe that’s why it’s so easy for Jisung to like his fall for Minho. “Why? Did you bully each other this morning or something?”

“A little,” Minho chuckles. “He gave me advice. I think he’s getting old, haha.” Yeah, sure, hyung. “What you said that night in the bathroom, did you mean it?”

The speed at which the topics keep changing make Jisung just answer without much thought. “Yeah, of course.” Because it’s true.

“Good,” Minho sounds happy, voice like candy. Jisung missed this type of atmosphere between them a lot, he realises it now, seeing the two of them in the small digital screen in front of them.

The screen tells them it’ll shoot the photos in seven seconds.

Jisung looks at Minho to find him staring back already. The space is cramped enough but he doesn’t mind with Minho. This close, he can’t help but feel like photobooths must be like a second or third or fourth home, because Minho’s lavender is always so close to him in them. Minho always looks so happy in them, Jisung hopes the photos turn out pretty.

Minho is always so pretty, so it shouldn’t be too hard.

“Jisungie,” Minho whispers, leaning closer like he wants to tell a secret and Jisung naturally leans in too, wanting to hear it. “I like your hair like this best.”

Jisung sighs in confusion – what, his natural dark hair messed up from sleep? – and Minho laughs at him, like it’s an inside joke that Jisung somehow missed out on.

And then Minho grabs his collar, pulls him close and presses a gentle kiss on the corner of his lips. Jisung licks his lips before Minho can pull away.

_Wow, Minho’s lips really do taste like Minho. And strawberry milk._

And it’s over too soon before he can find the proper words to describe them.

“Ju-Just a peck?” Jisung whines, already feeling breathless because his heart is doing something akin to flying in a very violent manner and his brain is empty – all it can take in are Minho’s eyes turning into crescent moons and his melodic laughter.

Jisung must be so funny.

Jisung wants more.

Jisung can’t think.

“A little kiss to cheer you up!” Minho is still giggling and Jisung realises his ears are a bright red and it can’t be from any lighting in here. He looks as breathless as Jisung feels, dropping his hold on Jisung’s collar to slide down his jacket to his chest. “I can’t feel your heart through this,” he jokes, but, well, he can’t. “Do you think the photos came out pretty?”

Why does he keep changing topics? Jisung wants to kiss him. “Again,” he hasn’t even realised he held onto Minho’s waist already. When did Minho open his jacket? He slides his hands inside to feel closer and it’s _warm_ , it’s home. There is nothing ambiguous about this, right? “I want to kiss you again, Minho hyung.”

Minho’s laughter turns into the kind of smile Jisung wants to wake up to but hasn’t been able to because Minho always left too soon. “Okay.”

And they’re kissing again. It’s slow. Gentle. Natural. All like it’s meant to be. A long time coming of lips moving in gentle tandem, making up their own language the way they make up their own world everywhere they go. Minho’s lips move against his like they’re careful not to break him while Jisung loses himself more.

One of his hands gently feels up the skin of Minho’s neck while the other slides to the small of Minho’s back to swiftly pull him close. Feel more. Feel closer. It makes Minho gasp in surprise and Jisung smirk in victory, because he finally gets to taste more than his lips. Now it’s his tongue, warm and wet against his own. He guides Minho into it, exploring each other’s mouths for the first time, yet feeling like it’s been missed for too long; feels _him_ come apart and _them_ come together.

All he wants right now is to do this forever.

“ _Jisung_.” Minho’s voice is shaky and weak – hands clinging somewhere onto Jisung’s shoulders like a lifeline – when they pull away for breath, eyes still closed, leaning their foreheads against each other’s. His whisper continues, words warm against Jisung’s lips like they never stopped. “Jisung, one more.” Jisung opens his eyes to find Minho taken apart and his heart soars, knowing it’s only because of him. Minho is like this because of him. “ _Please, Jisung._ ”

He obeys his pleas – he’d probably do anything for him.

Only Minho, Minho, Minho. “ _Jisung_.” What’s going through Minho’s mind right now?

Jisung presses Minho against the photobooth wall, presses closer, they’re a little faster, and thinks the noises that come out of their kisses are a song he will compose later on. Write the notes and the tones. “ _Jisung_.” Minho’s gasps against his own lips, calling for his name. Jisung isn’t going to leave – he’ll keep coming, he’ll keep wanting. Jisung is so in love and he thinks he found a perfect extension on how to show Minho every day, if he’ll let him. Jisung’s heart plays a symphony only for Minho to ever hear and Minho is a song it wants so badly to be his and–

Ah. _He forgot._

Jisung slows down, enjoying Minho’s whimpers too much as he lets his lips travel the way butterflies do – from Minho’s lips, to his cheeks, to his neck. There he hides his burning eyes, presses close to feel him with him, hugs him closer, for as long as he still can.

Because this is so selfish. He’s so selfish. 

He can’t just cry now.

“Jisung?” Minho’s voice has traces of him, of this. “Are you okay?”

Jisung shakes his head. He won’t lie. “Minho hyung, I’m so sorry.” Because he’s so happy but he’s so heartbroken because he can’t just do this because he can’t just ignore the mess he has made. What’s he supposed to do? Isn’t this too selfish? He doesn’t fucking know. It’s been driving him out of his mind. Why does he feel so fucking guilty? Did he do something wrong even though everything felt so good?

“I’m sorry…” he whispers again, feels Minho shiver and loosen his grip.

A scoff. It sounds wet and just like he broke his heart. “I should’ve known.” Minho’s breath is shaky in the heartbreaking way, stern words more for himself than for Jisung. Why can Jisung suddenly read him so well? He doesn’t want to. It hurts, knowing he’s responsible for Minho’s pain and he can’t muster up the courage to make it better.

Minho pushes him away like he knows this, but he’s still too weak from what Jisung just did to him. “You always–” Minho starts again, but his voice cracks. Jisung just wants to hold his trembling body and make it better. He knows he wants to so badly but, but Minho, Minho is already pushing him away harder.

And then he’s gone before Jisung can even find it in him to move.

Wiping his tears away – because he has to do that at some point and leave this place to face the real world again – Jisung takes the printed photo stickers with him. They are beautiful just like he wanted them to be.

But he still doesn’t know what to do. His mouth still tastes like heaven too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#1.15.20. P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Kim Seungmin  
>  **Other (3) :** is a very direct person but his boyfriend is still confused about a lot of things he says, prefers to study at home than on campus and only studies on campus with friends, most of his friends lean on him for advice, he likes being correct  
>  **How do you feel about the current events?:** “A little shaken by the fact that Minho hyung has been talking to me about his feelings again lately... it's been a while. He is like a soft demon. [...] Ah, I just think he isn't as clueless as most people like to believe.”
> 
> * * *
> 
> hello!! i hope everyone's been safe and well. (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡  
> my apologies, you think chapter 20 is really mean, don't you? (it was mean to me too, trust me.)  
> haha, really, whose heart did you think was going to break? break a few, here and there. yours too? but hey, it's not over just yet...  
> jisung really couldn't think straight (haha get it) this chapter but he wasn't the only one with a lot on his mind! such a mess, isn't it? ahh well, we all have our own reasons to act the way we do and we carry a lot of it in the little details of us. what makes sense of it for who, who knows?  
> anyways! what do you think of all of this?  
> i'd love to read your thoughts in the comments! ☆


	21. Twenty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite it being the same book, all the friends are on a different page.  
> Come here now.

When Yang Jeongin had first met Lee Minho, he had his qualms about befriending him but put up with his initial suspicions about the older boy because it was Seungmin who had introduced him into their circle – usually Chan is the only one of them who adopts strays. Unbeknownst to most Jeongin has always had more of a soft spot for Seungmin than for anyone else, so it had been easy to give Minho a chance to make himself at home in their little group of friends.

The reason for his lingering hesitance towards Minho is simple: Jeongin hadn’t been quite able get a read on him, which was new. But that easily grew into a special kind of comfort due to their similarities and fitting differences, getting to know this new friend in a slow unrushed pace.

Back then, Lee Minho had been the last missing piece of their solid eight.

It would be an understatement to say that Chan has been smitten with Minho from the very first second and probably forever will be. Unlike Changbin who just hadn’t been able bring himself to get closer to him with pure dismissive disinterest, or Hyunjin who just shrugged him off as a fellow pretty face dancer at first, deeming their personalities too different. Felix used to have troubles communicating and was therefore wary to try with someone so intimidating, but Minho somehow appointed himself as his personal Korean teacher anyway.

Meanwhile Seungmin had started off thinking Minho was just a soft-spoken cute church boy with no sense of direction and then finding him even cuter (and annoying too) after that impression was registered as half a failure.

Last but not least Jisung literally had his breath taken away at first sight, glaring at the pretty new companion – apparently someone that beautiful had to be a threat to him (or his ego) somehow – until they actually talked to each other and they just _clicked_ , much to Jisung’s surprise. A first meeting like that is one for the books or the movies, all for the romantics.

Either way the start of things rarely has as much power about the ending as one would like to believe.

Bet’cha, Jeongin is surprised when he opens his dorm door to the Minho with lost eyes from years ago.

Ahh. This day never seems to end, has only reached the evening.

“Hyung?” the worst way to greet someone who looks like they had been crying. Usually it’s hard to guess Minho’s mood and his crying face is still pretty, so it’s hard to gauge whether he actually cried in the first place or Jeongin is just projecting. “Hey… you wanna come in?”

Minho’s eyes are lowered. Jeongin thinks maybe it’s because looking up or meeting eyes would make something drop. A sigh leaves Minho’s lips when he extends his hand, holding a certain light grey plush bunny out, baby pink bow on top of its head. “No, just wanted to leave this here.” The tone is very direct yet just so soft not to be a whisper.

When Jeongin just stares at it instead of taking it, Minho finally looks up.

And then, with a light frown, he throws it over Jeongin’s head onto Jisung’s bed. The frown leaves to make room for his permanent glare, eyes trailing back to Jeongin after watching the plushie land.

“Usually you’re bad at throwing things,” Jeongin glances at the poor bunny plushie before he looks at Minho again. “Isn’t that the plushie you wanted so badly? I didn’t know Jisung hyung won it after all… did you give him his reward yet? He isn’t here.”

“Yeah. I know,” is all Minho replies with, vague and weird, and then tucks his hands into his open jacket’s pockets and he just stands there, looking anywhere but at Jeongin.

Jeongin narrows his eyes. Something tells him that Minho needs some comfort right now, maybe it’s his eyes or the way he uncomfortably shifts his weight from foot to foot. He isn’t sure why Minho isn’t back at his own apartment with the others or somewhere else with Jisung. Jeongin left early this morning because he made his own mistakes to run away from, so he isn’t sure what Minho could have possibly done to look this way.

And something more tells him that he should not invite Minho in, like he doesn’t want to see Jisung in case he comes home, but he doesn’t want to be alone right now either.

“Wanna go to the rooftop? I have some ice cream left in my mini fridge,” Jeongin offers with a light smile and a fingergun. Somewhere deep down he admits that he, himself, also needs comfort and who better to give him the perfect kind than someone who sulks the same way he does.

By silent smiles and frowns… and true to that Minho meets his eyes with a grateful smile and nods.

* * *

“Uhm, Jisung…?”

Needless to say Chan is a little perplexed when he opens the apartment door to leave for his job at the radio station and finds Jisung sitting there, hunched over himself in a cross-legged seat on the cold tile floor. He’s drawing invisible shapes into the tiles with a finger, so deep in his thoughts that he doesn’t hear Chan the first time.

It’s already late, reaching nine.

“Yo, Jisung,” Chan calls, firmer this time. Jisung flinches out of his thoughts, staring at him with wide-eyes and _wow_ , he does not look great. Chan steps out the apartment to crouch down and put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it in comfort. “You don’t look very okay, little one. What’s up? How long have you been sitting here?”

Jisung blinks twice before he gathers himself enough to reply, voice raspy, lips pouty and eyes half-lidded with weariness, “I-I’m fine. I’m, uhm… Is Minho hyung at home?”

Aha. Something has definitely happened between them. Chan guesses Jisung has been wallowing here for a while. “Minho hasn’t been back since morning but just a few minutes ago he texted me he’d come home late. I assumed he’d be with you since Seungmin told us you left together this morning?” He isn’t sure why he makes it sound like a question. It’s obvious that they left together this morning, then something happened and now Jisung looks like he’s been crying and chewing his own lips off, sitting here in front of their apartment door like a locked-out pet.

“Ha,” Jisung scoffs with a wry grin, averting his eyes as he props his elbows on his knees in a lazy manner. “Yep. Do you think he’d be okay with me waiting for him?”

“Yeah…? Why wouldn’t he be?” Chan tilts his head and frowns. The more Jisung talks, the more worried Chan becomes. They may all live scattered at three different places and then again different family homes but they’re all welcome at each other’s place like it’s their own – they’re all aware of this – especially Jisung and Felix. Why would it be different now? But Chan has a radio show sub-segment to host in a bit so he can’t really dwell much on this current issue. He gets back up on his feet and holds out a hand to Jisung to help him up. “Come on. Go inside and wait for Minho there. I have to go now and–”

“Ah, it’s whatever.” Jisung gets up by himself, shaky breath and an uncomfortable smile on his face as he avoids Chan’s questioning gaze. “I don’t think Minho hyung wants to see me right now anyway. I don’t even know what I could tell him after everything… ugh… I guess I’ll, uhm, I’ll just come back some other time. Can you drop me off at the dorms?”

Just what the hell happened? It’s barely been a day and they haven’t even properly solved the weird tension between Changbin and Jisung yet (which somehow has to do with Minho too, but Chan doesn’t want his hunch since their last conversation to be too true), so how did Jisung even manage to find more things to be upset about?

Despite feeling very much like he should step in and do something – not that he knows what but just something helpful would be good, probably – he does not pry any further for now. He has a job to go to and Jisung looks like he’s been through enough for today anyway. Maybe the kid will talk more in the car, maybe not.

Chan sighs and just gives it up for now. “Sure. Let’s go.”

Jisung finally meets his eyes again, light smile trying to be genuine. “Thanks, hyung.”

Once they’re in the car on the short way to the dorms before Chan has to continue his way to work, he tries asking Jisung again but he’s met with silence.

A silence that drags on.

The passing streetlights above them and the mildly crowded streets the closer they get to campus don’t make the car ride any livelier. Something is off and Jisung is easier to read than he might think. Chan has known him well for a long time but he won’t force anyone to talk, if they’re not feeling ready to do so.

Chan can only guess, really. Maybe they had an argument, even a fight. Minho and Jisung, he means. Which, well, that would be something new. If there is one duo in the group he never has to worry about defiling peace with each other, it’s Minho and Jisung.

Hell, even Hyunjin and Seungmin have their tense moments (although Hyunjin is very oblivious to those, much to Seungmin’s chagrin). Felix and Minho, too, had their tense moments, like that one time when Felix had thought Minho had insulted him in English but Minho was just (trying) to talk about cities to him. In the end they cuddled the miscommunication out and they both learned from it.

Even Chan himself has fought both Changbin and Jisung multiple times for – you guessed it – _food_ , to the point they had to leave the room or restaurant. Public or private, 3RACHA has no qualms bugging each other too, even if it’s become way rarer now that they’re out of puberty. Plus, Jeongin is always there to remind them not to fight.

(Honestly Minho and Hyunjin fight a lot for no apparent reason. Just because Hyunjin likes to rile Minho up and receive punishment. Same with Minho and Seungmin; Seungmin loves to see Minho flustered and, at the same time, is often on the receiving end of Minho’s blunter statements. It’s nothing this serious but… whatever the hell those dynamics are, those three should probably talk about it someday.)

It’s very uncommon moments of actual loss of peace between any of them.

But what friends never get a little tense here and there, for whatever reasons there can be. The closer you get to each other – the eight of them have long become their own little found family – the more honest you (try to) become and with that, sometimes there will be room for playful banter but awkward or serious moments of all kinds too. As long as it’s in healthy boundaries, it’s manageable.

The good, the bad and the in-betweens of life – it’s how you learn to live and love together.

Maybe the day has come that Minho and Jisung have a fight.

Today?

Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees Jisung take a double take at him. “Hyung, are you tearing up right now?” Jisung asks incredulously, puffy eyes wide in shock.

Chan just sniffs, eyes focused on the road even when his thoughts are somewhere else. “No.” Then sighs, rubs over his eyes with one coat sleeve before gripping the wheel with both hands again. “Okay, I’m just… everyone’s growing up together now. Us eight have been together for so long… that’s amazing. I’m so proud of everyone and I’m glad you’re working things out with each other.”

“You’re not an actual parent…” Jisung mumbles, shaking his head with disapproving cringe. “And whatever you think, things are actually going terribly right now. Happy tears are really out of place right now, hyungie.”

Chan glances at him before his eyes are back on the road. “Hey, I don’t know what happened but I do know that it’ll be alright. We’re a family, Jisungie. Even soulmates can have complaints.”

Seemingly unconvinced, Jisung watches the streets with him in silence. Whatever it is that happened today, there seems to be a lot to think about. Or not; Jisung has always had the tendency to get lost in his own head sometimes – a little similar to Minho, but they do it in very different ways.

Just as Chan stops the car by the dormitory on the side of the street to drop Jisung off, Jisung breaks the silence. “You know… that night you left me to walk home with Changbin hyung after the dance showcase, he told me to be confident because it’ll be alright.” Jisung is talking to him but he sounds like he’s far away in his head still. “That Minho hyung will appreciate my truest colours, whatever they may be. My… my love too. According to Changbin hyung, everyone would back off if they had to face me in a competition for Minho hyung. Very flattering but it also pisses me off for other reasons now. Before that too though, he’s said many things to me about Minho hyung and me, and I think that… yeah, without his input, I would’ve been stuck in my denial for at least a few more years…ah, if not until it’s too late and I depressingly marry into the standard heteronormative lifestyle without ever knowing what my heart has to say about Minho hyung.” Jisung drags a hand over his face and sighs, keeping his hand hiding his mouth thoughtfully. “And without his encouragement after the denial was over, I could’ve been stuck with words in my mouth that Minho hyung would have had an even harder time to pull out.”

Chan looks at the clock on the digital display – it’s 21:21, he’ll just be a little less early by appearing at 22 on the dot this once – there is still time so he proceeds to properly park the car in a good place. Then he kills the ignition and gives Jisung is full attention. “Yeah, he’s always liked seeing you two together. Friends want friends to be happy, especially if they can help it. All of that, it’s a good thing, right?” _Then why do you look like it’s not?_

Jisung nods, blinking slow and staring outside the windshield at nothing in particular. There is this atmosphere in the air that tells Chan that Jisung is simply trying to gather his thoughts and make sense of them out loud, like he doesn’t have a goal in this conversation besides trying to understand just as much as Chan wants to understand what’s going on.

To make sense of the unspoken behind it.

And then Jisung swallows and, with visible hesitance and utmost care, pulls out his wallet and from there he pulls out… photo stickers? Jisung stares at it for a moment while Chan glances between the photos he can’t see and Jisung’s wobbling bottom lip. A deep intake of air and Jisung turns his head away to the car window as he holds out his hand for Chan to see the photos.

A printed sticker sheet from a photobooth – that park by the dance studio according to the fancy title in the corner – six photos in succession scenes from top to bottom, three to three side by side, like two filmstrips glued together in a pretty manner.

Oh, even the photos themselves look straight out of a movie.

In the first photo Minho is looking at Jisung – you know, with that fond intensity of his – and in the second they’re looking at each other. In the third they’re both leaning in with Minho staring at Jisung’s lips. In the fourth Minho is kissing the corner of Jisung’s lips. In the fifth Jisung is staring at Minho’s lips while Minho has a huge grin on his face and by the sixth photo they’re kissing deeply – fitting together like puzzle pieces.

Chan guesses the photos were taken seconds away from each other, enough time to change poses for each photo – or to fall in love with a kiss – like the best parts of the movie screencapped for a promotional poster. Chan has to smile at how he isn’t surprised at all and just how sweet the photo sticker looks, capturing something so intimate.

Minho and Jisung… they just have something special about each other.

“You don’t look surprised,” Jisung says, somehow looking like he expected more from Chan. “No questions?”

“Nah,” Chan can’t wipe the smile off his face even when he looks up from appreciating the photos, which are already falling back onto Jisung’s lap with a limp hand. “Why? I never teased you two too much but none of this is unbelievable with your feelings for each other. I’m glad you worked things out.” So sweet, the photos radiate exactly that.

Jisung rubs the hand over his mouth over his face again (Felix would scold and warn about pimples), this time with more frustration.

Right. Despite the happy scenes captured, Jisung cried alone in front of their apartment. No sign of Minho, but trails of tears instead.

Chan’s smile drops a little, heart clenching with empathy. “What happened, Jisung?”

“Minho hyung left right after that,” Jisung doesn’t wait too long to answer this time but despite the calm tone his words come out with, it doesn’t conceal the mess inside of him very well. “I mean I couldn’t– so he– but I just– _Fuck_.” He hides his eyes this time, head down turned behind his hand. “I made him leave. I-I was the one who stopped it. It was on me. It is on me.”

Frowning deeply, Chan tries not to overthink it. “ _Why?_ ”

Jisung shakes his head, mouth twisting into a pained grimace. “Chan hyung, kissing Minho hyung… I was so happy. _So damn happy_ , hyung. All my doubts were gone for that entirety. I know we never kissed each other before today but it felt like coming home, like our lips missed each other, like, like… like we _belong_. Like we belong to each other.” Jisung gulps, bites on his bottom lip. And then a little genuine smile appears. “Strawberry milk.”

In the blink of an eye, the smile disappears like it was never there.

The hand in his lap drops the photo stickers completely on his lap to curl into a white-knuckled fist instead. “But then I felt so fucking _guilty_ , hyung. It was– It was like… like I couldn’t allow myself to be selfish even though I wanted to. Too much unfinished business.” Jisung’s voice turns into a whisper, just as pained. “I just wanted Lee Minho. I still want him, so _so_ badly, hyung. But I… hurt him. I don’t know what to do with my feelings and I just keep feeling sorry like that does anything but ruin things more.”

It’s 21:48. Chan should leave soon. He leans back in his seat and can’t believe how well this one hunch of his punched through into reality. Jisung didn’t say anything solid but Chan knows what the problem is now, connected the puzzle pieces of the big picture – has Minho done the same yet?

The hand on Jisung’s face drops to join the other on his lap to pick up the sticker sheet so Jisung’s glassy eyes can stare at his printed memory.

The sight pinches Chan’s heart enough for him to wince.

Jisung smiles again, just a little but real all the same. Chan kinda has to join him despite the bitter parts, it’s cute to see Jisung gushing over Minho and his feelings for him openly like this.

“Minho hyung…” Jisung breathes out as his lips form a soft grin and his eyes shine with warmth at the memory in his hand, head in the clouds as he seems to replay each photo’s scene. “Kissing him and touching him like that, I could do it forever. If… If nothing had stopped me, I would’ve probably gone as far as he’d let me.” Public decency, _please_. “My favourite taste now, I still have it on my tongue.” Jisung chuckles to himself, like Chan isn’t the one he’s telling all these intimate little details to. “The best kiss I’ve ever had.”

Not like Jisung has much to compare it to. As far as Chan is aware all of Jisung’s experiences are 1) a peck on the lips with a girl in third grade 2) accidently kissing Hyunjin blindfolded at a uni party and then end up in the quickest fistfight ever right after once the blindfold was off and 3) making kissy faces at Seungmin, only to trip and actually press their lips together and then brushing his teeth for about 10 minutes in sheer panic.

Still cute though, still cute. Plus, Chan can only approve of such genuine sentiments for Minho.

Jisung’s expression turns somber, eyes dulling with the thoughts running behind them. “I don’t think I could ever enjoy kissing someone else now that I’ve tasted him, all for myself.” He traces the last photo – their deep kiss – with a finger, gentle and barely grazing it. “I want to be selfish so bad… why can’t I just _be_ selfish? How can I take care of unfinished business that does not even want to be acknowledged? You… You should’ve heard his voice, hyung. Minho hyung he… I think I broke his heart right then and there – like the biggest asshole on the planet, hurting someone so loveable like him, like Minho hyung.”

Chan sighs.

The clock strikes 21:55 and he really has to go now or else he’ll be late. And he knows that Jisung is leaving out convenient parts of the story, probably because of that same guilt. “Jisung, communication is key. Why don’t you tell Minho the whole story? Not just the bits you just told me, but everything. And…” Chan clears his throat. _Sorry, Changbin._ “And whoever else is involved, too, has to speak. Of course, everyone is allowed to only do as much as they feel they can do and want to do, but some things shouldn’t be left alone to die because chances are it’ll either blow up, be a slow death or an undying death.”

“Undying death?” Jisung mumbles, looking up like he’s finally back on earth. Puffy eyes that are begging for rest more than an answer to that.

Chan nods and gestures for him to leave now. “Yeah, something you want dead and you feel it dying but it never quite goes away. A lot of things can be like that, you know. Big things, small things… even something like love.” He grins encouragingly at Jisung, who’s already opening the car door. “Now go and get some good night’s sleep. Minho is waiting for you to come back soon.”

Jisung smiles back once he has stepped outside the car, a little weak but it’s there. He gets it. “Thanks, hyung.”

The car door is shut. Chan turns on the ignition, pulling out the parking spot as Jisung absent-mindedly watches. There’s something special within their eight, making them able to pull through anything together, even this. They’ve always been a bit of a mess, but never a mess they couldn’t handle. Chan loves this little circle.

Once at the radio station – thankfully just in time – his sub-segment is filled with sentimentalities and a bunch of Ed Sheeran songs. He even gets a text from Minho scolding him for ‘cheesy bullshit’ which he informs his listeners about without the name, now knowing he’s got a friend or two listening to him.

Wherever Minho is right now, Chan is sure that he has somehow managed to put a smile on his face too, the way Minho does for him a lot too.

It’ll be alright.

* * *

Midnight.

Despite having gone to sleep at a healthy time for once in his life, Changbin still has the tendency to wake up in the middle of the night (literally midnight) and want to drink a glass of water.

Stay hydrated when you’re awake maybe?

In the lit-up kitchen area he meets Hyunjin, who’s doing something on his laptop at the kitchen table. There’s a coffee on his right side, filling the kitchen with its intense but welcoming smell.

They don’t greet each other or talk or anything beyond an acknowledging glance, just mind their own business.

Until they hear the jiggle of keys signalling a roommate’s arrival. 

A few hours ago Chan left for his night job, so it can only be Minho to finally join them at home. Just how much time did he spend with Jisung? Look at the late hour, he should’ve just stayed with Jisung for the night!

Honestly Changbin already regrets ever stepping out of his room the moment he hears the apartment door open and close. With how fresh the past few 24 hours still are, he’s been wishing for more time to lick his wounds. As pathetic as it sounds, Changbin even went earlier to bed just so he wouldn’t have to see Minho’s bright smile for Jisung, because of Jisung; nor his happy retellings of the day’s events of how much fun he’s had with Jisung, of how in love he is with Jisung without the words too explicit.

With no moment for rest, the days have been testing him.

Maybe Minho won’t even acknowledge them and just leave for his bedroom to sleep. He does that sometimes. They all do that sometimes. Like Changbin and Hyunjin now, not paying each other’s existence much mind. Maybe Minho will follow the silence suit.

Just as he finishes the thought Minho appears from around the corner, coming into the kitchen area. Surprisingly enough he isn’t alone.

Although his companion isn’t who Changbin expected.

“Innie?” he mumbles in confusion before he can stop his own mouth and Minho meets his eyes shortly as he nudges him away from the open fridge to grab a can of cola zero for himself.

While Changbin is distracted by the quick glare Minho sends him while closing the refrigerator door – yo, Changbin didn’t even get his own drink yet, you damn pretty boy! – Jeongin answers his question with another, “Uhm, Seungmin hyung isn’t here anymore, right? Did he say something?”

“’Lix and Seungminnie left this afternoon already,” Hyunjin supplies after taking a sip from his coffee and then just warming his hands around the mug, attention now on the newcomers instead of his laptop. “They’re meeting Daehwi and that new Chenle dude early in the morning tomorrow to visit some flea market. Apparently Daehwi has a girlfriend to buy specific presents for now – which I don’t believe – and that random Chenle person has never been to a flea market before.”

Lots of information for a simple question but that’s Hyunjin’s gossip for you.

Minho sits down on the kitchen table together with Jeongin while Changbin just stands there like a dumbfounded idiot. _Just take your water and go_ , he thinks to himself as he turns back to open the refrigerator door again and actually takes a water bottle out like he wanted to in the first place. He feels Minho’s glare on his back so he closes the refrigerator door quickly (Minho always scolds them for leaving it open for too long).

“Okay, sounds good, sounds good…” Jeongin sounds a little insecure at first but perks up again when Hyunjin gives him a questioning eyebrow raise. “Didn’t want Minho hyung to walk home alone in the dark so I came with him. I texted Jisung hyung already and let him know. Uhm… yeah.”

Something tells Changbin that a lot has happened in the past few hours and both Minho and Jeongin have involvement to take responsibility for. Considering the fact that Minho and Jisung left the apartment early this morning, only for Jeongin to reappear with Minho at midnight. That added with no mention of Jisung beyond a text message and Minho’s… vibes, which are definitely off. Hyunjin may be oblivious but Changbin senses it: something has been going down the drain for sure.

Hyunjin smiles over his laptop screen at the two on the other side. “Sleepover, huh? We can build a blanket fort in the living room… I’ve been wanting to try this new model I found about pillars online and see what happens. Oh! And we can read bedtime stories to each other!” He pauses to point at Minho. “No horror stories though.”

Changbin pours himself a glass of water, totally (not) unbothered and glad that he’s out of the conversation. He’ll just drink his water and go, yep. Just don’t meddle anymore – enough is enough.

But he hears the unconvincing smile in Minho’s voice. Not that Minho tries hard to force it, always fine with showing his displeasure as long as it’s not weakness he’s showing. “Don’t really feel like it, sorry. I’ll go to sleep first thing after my cola and getting Innie the living room ready.”

“Oh?” It seems the off vibes reach Hyunjin too now. “You okay, Minho hyung? You do look a bit under the weather…”

Changbin does not want to glance over his shoulder but damn it, he does. Though all he catches is the way Jeongin’s worried eyes blink at Minho by his side, and that’s all before Changbin is back to staring at his cup of water on the kitchen counter.

“Hn,” Minho confirms, you know, like a liar. “Gonna go to the dance studio early in the morning. You can come with me if you’re awake and ready by then.” A pause to take a sip of his drink. “Do you still have Juyeon’s number?”

Suspicious change of topics. Changbin turns around to face the kitchen table and lean backwards against the kitchen counter, now fully watching the scene of the other three. He swirls the cold water in his cup after every sip.

“Sure, why though? Lost it again?” Hyunjin frowns in confusion, smartphone already in hand. He gasps as he looks at the screen and then at all of them with wide astonished eyes. “Oh shit, it’s this late?! Why didn’t anyone tell me! I can’t fix my sleeping schedule without your support, guys!” He’s already gathering his things and then he’s off to his bedroom, while Minho, Jeongin and Changbin watch.

“Good night!” The bedroom door shuts behind Hyunjin.

Minho and Jeongin blink, first at the closed bedroom door and then turn their head to the front again. It’s only a short pause before Minho gets up from his seat, taking his cola with him and then moving towards the couch in the living room area, putting the cola can on the coffee table and then getting the space ready for Jeongin to sleep in, blankets and all.

“Hyung,” Jeongin calls quietly, addressing Changbin. When Changbin looks away from Minho’s working figure to Jeongin instead, he sees a frowny glare directed at him. “Your kissing advice sucked ass.”

“Huh?” Changbin blinks. Oh, right… _Oh_ , right! No way. “Jeongin, what did you do? Is that why you were gone this morning?” He feels his eyes widen at the implication before they soften with worry. Maybe Changbin needs to stop giving people advice at this point. “Is it… Is it bad?”

“I mean, uhm, I’m embarrassed,” Jeongin looks at him with light-hearted scorn and then turns his head to watch Minho finishing off the living room area and going into his own bedroom, probably to change into his sleepwear and get some for Jeongin. “I’m really embarrassed. Because I saw Hyunjin hyung and Seungmin hyung kiss, you know, I even made sure to watch properly. They had a morning kiss and Hyunjin hyung passed back out right after but anyway,” he waves his hand like it’s a disgusting thought. To be fair, it probably is to him. “That didn’t really do much so I wanted to make sure of my feelings and stuff. Only Seungmin hyung and I were awake so…” he trails off with a nod, lips pressed into a thin line and throws one hand weakly up in the air like saying ‘there you have it’.

“You…” Changbin gulps. “You kissed Seungmin?”

In an instant Jeongin is glaring at him with utmost disgust, “No! But what I did isn’t any better than the actual act!” He takes a deep breath and presses his eyes shut, head down turned. “Iaskedhimtokissmeandmakesure,” he mumbles out.

“What?”

“I asked him to kiss me and make sure! About my feelings!” Jeongin opens his eyes and stands up, hands thrown in the air again and cheeks blazing a hot red. “Hyung! I closed my eyes and shit, I was trembling like a leaf! Then he’s leaning in and then just laughs in my face, telling me ‘that’s not what you want from me’ and I just lost it because _Yeah!_ ”

“Yeah?” Changbin echoes.

“ _Yeah_ , I don’t want that or anything close to that from him. I realised it in that moment and ran out the fucking apartment with no other words whatsoever!” Jeongin groans, dramatically falling back onto the chair and slumping in his seat, squishing his flaming cheeks. “I embarrassed myself for no reason! It’s all your fault, hyung!”

That’s… hey, that’s kind of funny though.

“Don’t you dare laugh,” Jeongin glares at him with threat in his tone. He’s _adorable_. “I’ll kill you.”

Too late, Changbin is already in a fit of giggles. “Aww, our baby is growing up! Look at you.” He tries to control his giggles when Jeongin comes threateningly close with wiggling fingers ready to attack him. He’s already holding up his hands in defense, not feeling any danger at all and pulling out his cutesty charms. “I don’t take any responsibility for that, sorry!”

In the next moment he’s attacked by tickles and then he’s running away with Jeongin hot on his heels, only the kitchen lights illuminating the open space of their apartment. If Hyunjin is asleep then it’s fine if they’re a little too loud with their laughter and screams, he’s a heavy sleeper anyway.

Before he can get very far though – say, his own bedroom – two arms catch him around his waist from behind and stop him. Well, not _stop_ him because a running Changbin is too strong, only stumbles from the hold’s impact, and then both the captor and the captured are falling onto the floor in a heap of limbs.

Jeongin should stop going to the gym with them, damn it.

“Serves you right,” Changbin hears Jeongin’s smug tone from somewhere above him instead of under him, next to the sounds of quiet groans of pain from himself and… shit, Minho? “Have fun, Changbin hyung.” At the realisation Changbin rolls off the body that cushioned his fall and looks up first just in time to see Jeongin enter his bedroom and hear the door’s lock click into place behind him – that demon!

Then he looks down to see Minho’s pained grimace under him.

Ah, Changbin’s knee is still jabbing into the side of his hip. “Sorry, hyung…” he awkwardly moves away and sits up properly, watching as Minho just lays there on his back and sighs with regret.

“Fuck you,” Minho breathes out and opens his eyes only to roll them. “What are you, five?”

“Four actually,” Changbin corrects on reflex and then smiles awkwardly when Minho sends him a glare for it. Still, he just shrugs at him. “Don’t get involved next time, dumbass.”

Dragging himself into a sitting position too, Minho sends him a tired glare. “Rich coming from you.”

What? But Minho is already looking away, to the side. A deep sigh, then he’s heaving himself up and – ah, he’s dressed in pyjamas now, the white ones with minimalistic cartoon cats on them – holds his hand out to Changbin.

Just as Changbin wants to take it, Minho pulls his hand away to wave instead and gives him a fake smile, you know, one of those where he wants people to know it’s a fake smile. “I’m not in the mood to deal with your bullshit so sleep tight, bye.”

Minho is walking away and Changbin should let him. Just not react any further to the biting comments that definitely show that, somehow, whatever happened with Jisung also has to do with Changbin – at least in Minho’s mind.

Too bad that Changbin is more of a fool than he’d like to admit, already up on his feet to follow Minho and then grab his wrist and ask, “Hey, hyung, what happened? It’s about Jisung, right? Talk to me, come on.”

Stopped in his tracks, Minho frees his wrist from Changbin’s hold with casual ease and then, not even trying to hide his annoyance, turns back towards him. They’re in front of Minho’s open bedroom door and Changbin wants to let him go but he _can’t_.

Not because of his stupid feelings – not at all, he swears – but because now that he sees Minho up close, full focus on him and really takes him in, that’s when Minho’s sad eyes register in his mind. Glassy and rimmed red, not puffy just yet like he’s been holding it in except for the few tears that must’ve dropped today– no, definitely dropped today.

“What are you looking at?” Minho raises a brow at him, implicitly questioning his audacity. All playfulness gone behind a carefully crafted mask of ice. “I just told you that I don’t want to deal with your bullshit. I’m not playing around right now.”

Changbin gulps down the painful sting. “It’s obvious that something happened between you and Jisung just from the way you look–” Minho makes an offended noise but Changbin continues, “–whatever it is, it’s probably a misunderstanding and if I might be able to help you solve it, why wouldn’t I? I’m your friend, dude. You’re obviously not fine.”

“‘Cause you know me so well?” Minho’s eyes blaze up in the calmest way a snowstorm could start. The sweet voice carrying his words is the same soft one he uses on the daily but it’s bitingly fake right now. A scoff. “ _Pass_ ,” Minho raises his eyebrows in a lazy manner drawing out the ‘s’ before he fakes a smile on top of it. Again, not even trying to make it look real.

He’s so frustrating. “Don’t be like this…” Changbin trails off when Minho tilts his head away from him. Minho huffs through his nose and his lips tug into a mean smirk. It confuses Changbin about what could’ve happened exactly. Did Jeongin leave him alone with Minho on purpose? Did Minho talk to Jeongin? Jeongin wouldn’t have told him anything about Changbin though, right? Doesn’t seem like it. Jeongin isn’t like that anyway but still…

Just what happened?

Most of the time Minho is an easy-going guy, even when in a bad mood. But when genuinely pissed off and provoked, Minho can be downright mean. The glint in his eyes when he looks Changbin up and down in a patronising manner proves it, “You don’t actually care anyway, and it’s getting late so… let’s not ruin it.” He shrugs. “It’ll be fine. Just go to sleep, Changbin.”

At the familiar and deliberate choice of words, Changbin can’t help the irritation bubble inside of him but he tries to keep it down. Might just be that Minho is bothered about more than a few things. “Look, we’re friends. I’m just trying to be here for you, Minho hyung.”

“I could say the same thing but whatever. Then either stop trying or stop giving me shitty advice I never even ask for, you damn hypocrite.”

Wow. What the fuck? Changbin is stunned by the biting statement.

He should have just let Minho go to sleep. He should have left as soon as Minho and Jeongin walked in, at least by the time Jeongin was done whining to him, he shouldn’t have stayed to play around. He should have left and then he wouldn’t even be in this situation right now because he has a feeling he knows where this is going and he won’t fucking like it.

“What, cat got your tongue?” Minho mocks him, steps closer and tilts his head in faux worry while Changbin just tries to stay cool, glaring at Minho is fine but he doesn’t want to go any further than that.

“Poor Binnie,” Minho says with that same faux worry and Minho just seems to want a bit of payback. “You know what, I’ll tell you what happened since you’re so invested in what happens between me and Jisung.” He steps back again though, eyes welling up with unshed tears as he glares at Changbin and his tone becomes flat. “I kissed Jisung. As his hidden prize, you know. We kissed, tongue and all that. You always wanted me to just kiss him silly, right, thinking it will make him happy or something? There you go, not sure if I got the silly part though, but I did try.” Minho smiles again and it looks painful combined with the way he tries to blink away his tears, looking around the room before he tries to steadily look at Changbin again. “And then Jisung stopped it. He fucking apologised to me. You still believe I should date Jisung because he’s so in love with me? Because I’m pretty sure I just got rejected for the thousandth time.”

Mouth hanging open, Changbin doesn’t know what to say. “That, no, that. That just. That can’t be right. Jisung–”

All energy seems to drain out of Minho with a quiet curse under his breath, sealing Changbin’s mess of words. Shoulders slumped and shining eyes pleading with Changbin. “Just stop, Changbin, please. The signs are everywhere, all the time. Stop giving me hope for something I can’t have, all of you. If you want it, you can have it. Just let me go. Jisung was just confused, he doesn’t love me like that, okay? Let me finally accept it. Stop making me look stupid.”

But it’s not true, _damn it,_ it is not true at all _._

This isn’t how the story is supposed to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#7.14.21. P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Seo Changbin  
>  **Other (3) :** his sister said she'd deck him next time she sees him, recently learned how to crack an egg, used to make out with his theatre partner on the regular until the end of the course, probably not going to be punctual for your party  
>  **How do you feel about the current events?:** “Maybe Jisung and I are both the same breed of idiot because we both keep messing it up with the same person (Minho hyung). I still can’t believe we have the same taste in men, ugh. [...] No comment.”
> 
> * * *
> 
> hello!! uni and life can be assholes yall... i hope everyone's been safe and had time for fun. (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡  
> ahh this chapter literally has six different versions with something different happening in each of them because i have been rewriting this chapter a lottt. one version has minho+jeongin sweet rooftop time written out tho, sorry for depriving you of it here. lmao. anyway, there you have ch21 now haha!  
> hmm. the story is reaching its end soon. all cards are supposed to be laid out soon. maybe minho isn't the only one who should come clean about what's been going on inside his mind...  
> well, what do you think now?  
> i'd love to read your thoughts in the comments! ☆


	22. Twenty-Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One early morning brings together foolish hearts.

The smell of old leather and stale studio air changes so fast. Like a gust of wind – okay, maybe it really is the wind – the smell of hot chocolate mildly accompanied by bitter coffee and some other sweet company. Quiet but audible steps on the studio floor approaching him.

Ah, did he fall asleep in the studio again? Did nobody wake him?

Hmm… No problem, it’s so comfortable here…

“Chan hyung?” an exasperated call of his name and a light nudge to his shoulder. He pulls his blanket (read: his jacket) higher around himself and curls further into the worn leather couch. “Channie hyung, wake up.” Then an annoyed mumble of, “I had a feeling you’d fall asleep here again… idiot.”

Chan makes a vague noise of disagreement. Fine, after his radio-DJ job was done at around 1 o’clock in the morning, he did some recording for one of his tracks (which he got done, whoop!) in the adjoined recording studio and then, honestly, all he wanted before making his way home was to take a short break on the old leather couch in his favourite booth…

 _Slap!_ Chan shoots up with utter wide-awake scandalisation, hands protecting both of his cheeks despite only one side having gotten slapped. He finds himself staring at Minho. “Minho! Why did you slap me!?”

“Would you rather have me kiss you awake, mister sleeping beauty?” Minho rolls his eyes before he reaches over to gently slap Chan’s hands protecting his cheeks. With high-pitched voice and pursed lips, he teases Chan a little more, “You look best~ in pain, Channie hyung! Usually it takes two slaps minimum, remember?” Then he smiles, voice back to normal and walks around the studio, looking at the many buttons of the mixing equipment and glances through the window into the empty recording room. “It’s nine in the morning. I texted you to send me one of your songs to dance to but…” he shrugs, eyeing Chan’s sleepy appearance with disdain and oh, he walks over to hand Chan one of the paper cups in his hands. “Please make it a habit to sleep at home, hyung.”

Chan just waves him off but takes the cup – hot chocolate, his favourite! – smiling at the way Minho cares. “It’s fine, I have you to come get me after all.” Truly, Minho tends to pay him lots of visits when he works or not; be it at their shared home, on campus or at work like now. Tsundere at its finest.

It’s then that he finally takes a proper look at Minho. Minho has his trademark gym bag on his back, the strap across his chest and in his hands another trademark in the form of, most likely, an iced americano.

Right, he asked for a song. Chan sits down by the equipment desk where his laptop is already waiting. “What genre do you have in mind?”

“Anything. You can give me stuff you worked on recently and then we can decide in the dance studio.” Minho shrugs, following Chan to look over his shoulder when Chan boots his laptop up. “Yongbokie is out as you know, so it’ll be only Hyunjin and me today. Juyeon, too, if he has time.”

While Minho leans over the back of the chair behind him, Chan clicks through a few songs that Minho might just like, sipping on his hot chocolate.

There’s jazz and pop, hip-hop and EDM – stuff that would probably look amazing translated into Minho’s body movements. And Felix will probably learn the choreography together with him and Hyunjin afterwards. It would be nice to see. And… ah, right, there’s more that sort of needs to get translated here… “Minho, how are you?” Chan carefully asks, keeping his voice casual as to not spook Minho off with too much visible care. “Jisungie was waiting for you at home last night before I left for work…” he trails off, forcing his eyes to stay on the screen displaying the playlist he puts together for Minho instead of looking at Minho’s reaction.

Yeah, that reaction. It’s not much. Or it is. Hesitance is an answer too? Not that it matters when Chan knows most of the story already.

“Same old, same old, Channie hyung,” Minho answers at last. Chan feels his weight leave the back of his chair and then he hears him walk around, closer to the exit. “Wanna join us at the dance studio?”

Alright, he doesn’t want to talk about it. (But soon enough he will.) “You just want me to drive you there,” Chan gives in without complaint, getting up, packing up the USB with the playlist on it with his laptop and then grabs his own backpack after he turns off the equipment.

Minho is smirking by the exit, already holding the door open. “Maybe that’s part of it but I did take the bus here to wake you up and bring you a hot drink, so you owe me.”

And while Minho walks a few steps ahead, too casual for yesterday’s events, he does not notice Chan texting a few friends a thing or two.

“Seriously though… Please stop sleeping everywhere but at home.”

“I have you to bring me back though, no? I’d do it for you too.”

Anyone can be an idiot at times, and an idiot may need a helping hand to not be one if trouble arises.

* * *

The way from the dorms to any of the places that he frequents in Seoul is short.

In the years spend in this neighbourhood, Jisung has walked these roads over a hundred times.

The dorms are close by campus, just an eight-minute walk away. He tends to visit the cafés around the area as well, unless him and his friends feel the need to explore the inner city for cafés like Closer. Near campus is the dance studio where Minho, Hyunjin and Felix spend a lot of time at and right next to that is the park, the one Minho and Jisung take in lieu of going home the shorter way. It’s to catch fresh air, they used to tell everyone, when it’s actually just Jisung catching butterflies.

The photobooth by the entrance is new, but it feels like it belongs there already. Not that Jisung is there right now but he does keep thinking of the memory safely stored in his wallet (amongst other thoughts that suspiciously make his tongue taste a certain sweetness mixed with strawberry milk).

The modern glass doors of the dance studio in front of him feel ominous, maybe for the second time ever. This is also where he had met Minho for the first time, dooming himself right from the first second for a heartache made for fools. Or, in other words, made for Jisung. 

As ominous as the place feels right now, it’s also where he’s picked up Minho after university classes all the time. Not because he wanted to – hey, they rarely even addressed it – but because most of Jisung’s classes ended a little sooner than Minho’s and since hanging out in the hyung-line apartment is most fun and he has to walk past the dance studio to get there, it’s all too convenient to pick up Minho on the way. Oh, and Hyunjin and Felix sometimes if they don’t leave and Minho is the only one leaving with Jisung. Maybe all of that is connected.

Yeah, okay, _denial over_. Of course, Jisung wanted to see Minho, pick him up, have fun with him, make the way longer by going through the park so they can spend more time with each other. Maybe life made it convenient, but even if not, Jisung would have wanted it anyway.

Plus all the other dancers at the studio would see that Minho’s favourite is Jisung (not Hyunjin, wrong ship, people!). It’s one way to stake your claim without actually staking a claim at all. Is that not funny?

“Are you going inside? You’ve been standing here for like ten minutes now, it’s worrying me, dude.”

Jisung blinks out of his thoughts and comes face to face with, uh, Matthew? who has just walked out of the dance studio. “I was just, you know,” Jisung vaguely points at his own head, “Thinking stuff. Did you just watch me the ten minutes?”

Matthew blinks, “No, I was at the counter sorting the keys and you were just standing there, I thought you were staring at me at first, haha! Well, the other guys are already here. The pretty one you like too, but be careful, Chan said he’s sensitive today.”

“Uh… thanks… Do you work here?” How is this guy everywhere? He’s like Chan.

Matthew shakes his head, “Nah, man, me and my friends just rent out a practice room sometimes. Speaking of them, I gotta go. Cute bunny you got there by the way. Good luck, little guy!”

“I’m not little…!” Jisung doesn’t really get to communicate that because Matthew is already jogging away, disappearing around the next street corner. Jisung sighs and turns back to the entrance, slowly going up the few steps and then pushes inside.

Thanks to a prize returned, he isn’t alone. He’s got the bunny plushie with him. A fluffy light grey bunny, baby pink bow on top of its ears. Finding it on his bed after all that happened yesterday almost made him cry last night but he’s done with that. All he wants right now is for Minho to understand him completely, because he thinks he understands Minho better now.

Minho, who laughs at all his jokes or hides his laughter behind snarky remarks, who knows him so well, who cheers him up just the right way just by being there, who – no matter how many times they leave each other – comes back to him at just the right time. Minho, who looked at Jisung with a little something like love too before and in between their lips meeting. And maybe Minho has looked at him like that for a long time already. Jisung might’ve been just too slow to interpret it all and his own touch too.

In the end, tears like Minho’s don’t lie – they’re so honest, it’s why they don’t like to appear too often. Minho always hides behind an uncaring mask; it’s not even a good mask and maybe Minho doesn’t have much control over it anyway. He still shows his care in actions and off-handed quiet words when no one’s looking.

(Or maybe Jisung just pays him too much attention. He likes it that way though.)

It’s in the little things with Minho that aren’t so little if you look closer. Going the long way home just to be alone together for longer or watching horror movies with only the two of them, even though they get scared just as much as others but they’re together so it’s an unsaid excuse to sit huddled closer. Maybe even the way Minho doesn’t order any spicy food even though he likes it whenever he’s having a meal with Jisung, just so they can share their food since Jisung doesn’t handle spice very well. Or the way they borrow each other’s clothes even without reason and leave their belongings in the home of the other – Jisung’s huge pig plushie is still on Minho’s bed and Jisung _doesn’t even mind_. The senseless and senseful texts in the middle of the night and throughout the day, especially if they’re away from each other for a while. Make it phone calls if the distance is too much. Feeling not only himself try to be closer without overstepping but, now that he thinks back on it, maybe Minho has been even more careful with his own wants than Jisung ever was.

Staring too long, thinking too much, touching more than anyone else, wanting to see and know, dreams in daylight or lit by the moon filled with the other…

Just friends… don’t do that, do they?

(Minho and Jisung both have a fear of heights and yet their fear shows itself in very different ways. What’s scarier – the fall or the impact of landing? Where do you land and how?)

Jisung sits down on one of the couches in the reception area of the dance studio, staring at the bunny plushie in his hands, flopping its cute ears this way and that. He won’t refuse his prize next time, if there is a next time. Be selfish, why won’t you?

How should he start this?

(He had sat here once before. With Minho. They had even booked one of the practice rooms once, where Minho taught Jisung a self-made choreography of his. Jisung still has a video of it that he likes to show off. Even that, Jisung might’ve enjoyed it too much, too blinded by Minho’s smiles to know what they could mean. What they – Minho and Jisung – could be.)

Chan said everyone would be here. Everyone, because if they’re already at it, they can all just talk about everything and anything, to be fair with each other.

Does that mean Changbin is ready to talk too? Jisung can’t help but be reminded of all their evenings consisting of sharing their feelings, all eight of them, with each other long into the dead of the night. Or the day Jisung got stuck in the hyung-line apartment with Changbin, talking about too much without knowing where the feelings come from.

Going through memories with a new perspective is a learning experience too. He knows now. Time for Minho to find out too.

Better late than never, right?

* * *

A mid-summer night’s–

No, it’s barely reaching March this morning.

Professor Choi made them read too many damn theatrical pieces. Shakespeare isn’t even that entertaining or at all, if you consider the overall stupidity of his characters’ decisions in every line – unless that’s what you’re into. Poetry won’t make you less of an idiot and falling in love with someone you don’t even know and don’t want to get to know doesn’t even make any sense – worse, even dying for them when it’s nowhere near an actual life and death scenario.

Please, that’s not love.

“… and that’s how I broke my baseball bat,” Seungmin finishes his story. Wow, Hyunjin is so in love. See, Shakespeare? This is love right here. Well, maybe not right here since Seungmin is somewhere at a random flea market while Hyunjin is in their usual dance studio. ‘Here’ is just a phone call in said dance studio without Seungmin actually here. “I heard it crack but didn’t think much of it. Lots of things crack in that situation after all. Felix and Minho hyung were with me that day and said it was attractive or whatever, but now I only have two other baseball bats at home which are of too much sentimental value to me to use for that kind of stuff.” A sigh. “I need a new one. The flea market should have some options, right?”

“Sure,” Hyunjin’s phone is somewhere in his backpack on the counter by the door while his Bluetooth headphones do their job at keeping the phone call going as he stretches, waiting for Minho and Juyeon to arrive. “If not, I’ll buy you a new one, Seungminnie. Any specific colour in mind?”

He can hear Seungmin shake his head with an eye roll. “That would just be another baseball bat with sentimental value, Hyunjin…”

The conversation flows nicely, just like the sunlight streaming in through the big windows on his left. On the floor he watches his own shadow instead of his reflection in the mirror.

On Seungmin’s end of the call Felix seems to be busy aweing at everything the stalls there offer and gush about it with Chenle and Daehwi who are just as interested – all three voices can be heard in the background of the call – while Seungmin’s focus is mostly on finding himself a new baseball bat.

And on Hyunjin, of course. Hehe. He can’t help grinning at the thought, listening to Seungmin’s sweet voice explain how to spot the perfect baseball bat for you. Apparently it’s not that simple. Man, he really wants to watch Seungmin play baseball someday. It’s a pity he hasn’t gotten around to that yet, not officially at least.

Naturally he wants to ignore the door to this particular dance practice room opening, because he can already see who’s coming through the glass of the door. He wants to ignore Jisung’s (whole existence at times but currently) confused and searching eyes and he wants to ignore that fluffy light grey bunny in his hands and… no, wait.

The plushie is adorable.

“So that’s where it went!” Hyunjin exclaims once Jisung is close enough, holding the bunny plushie carefully in both hands and now the younger’s confused stare narrows into a frown. He’s dressed in a warm puffer jacket, blue jeans and his favourite sparkly green-pink converse. As a good luck charm? But what’s the bunny doing here? Hyunjin clearly remembers putting it on one of their shelves in their apartment’s living and kitchen space on paintball day – he had found it on the floor next to everyone’s shoes – but it had been gone all of a sudden.

“What?” Jisung and Seungmin say at the same time.

Hyunjin stares at Jisung and then at the bunny in his arms. “Uhh, that bunny plushie,” he offers, mostly to Seungmin. “Jisung has it. He’s here.”

Jisung blinks at him then takes to looking around. Seungmin asks but sounds like he knows more than him, “Why?”

“I dunno…” Hyunjin watches Jisung walk over to the mirror, hold the bunny plushies paw as he uses his other hand to tidy up his hair and check his face. What… “Uhh, he’s checking himself out in the mirror.”

“Hmm. I think something happened,” Seungmin tells him from the other end of the phone call, sounding a little distracted. “Chan hyung send a message a while ago, probably meant for all of us. You should check your phone. Good luck with that, honey. I better hang up now.”

“Yeah…” Hyunjin nods, watching Jisung try out… poses? in the mirror and– WAIT. “H-Honey?!” He yells in late realisation, desperately pressing his hands to the headphones in his ears with hot burning cheeks. “Wait, Seungmin–”

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

“Ha!” Jisung huffs out a mocking laugh, looking at Hyunjin’s flustered but also disappointed little existence through the mirror. “He called you–” he pitches his voice high and pulls a disgusting face others would refer to as cute, “ _Honey!_ ”

Class clown Jisung strikes again. “If we fight here, no one can stop us,” Hyunjin remarks, lips downturned in a bitter grimace as he tugs out his Bluetooth in-ears and stuffs them into the zip-up pockets of his sweatpants. Somewhere at some random flea market Seungmin is either very smug about hanging up on a flustered Hyunjin or he’s very oblivious to his boyfriend’s state of mind. What’s worse? Hyunjin does not know.

Either way it’s Han Jisung’s fault.

The culprit in question is still admiring himself in the mirror, posing this way and that. “Can’t fight today. I have to be handsome for when Minho hyung arrives. Plus I cried yesterday so I’m not in top form,” Jisung says, placing the plushie under his chin and smiling at his own reflection as he makes the bunny plushie wave, mumbling the rest into the bunny’s ears. “Should I go for a cute apology and confession or…” he changes poses; chest out, trying to make himself seem bigger and eyes glaring (exaggeratedly) at his own reflection. Does he know what he’s doing? “… go with the cool guy optionnnn? Hmm… maybe I should focus more on explaining myself instead of appearances before I embarrass myself in front of him or cause more misunderstandings… I’m cool enough already.”

Hyunjin sighs. He guesses that Jisung is not aware of the fact that not only will Minho arrive later, but Juyeon too. He should’ve been here a while ago anyway. Maybe he’s late.

In that moment the practice room door opens up yet again. Minho? Juyeon?

No. Hyunjin’s grin goes as fast as it appeared, because it’s not Juyeon, no, it’s Changbin who looks as confused as Jisung did when entering.

The door closes behind him. Changbin barely acknowledges Jisung (who’s also confused again) with a wave before he looks at Hyunjin. “This is the cat room, right? I wasn’t sure because the cat drawing and the kangaroo drawing looked really similar… why would you use yellow crayons for both?”

Jisung turns around, facing away from the mirror to take part in the conversation. He frowns at Hyunjin. “Yeah, man. What’s up with the drawings on the practice room doors? Did someone’s kid make them? They were really hard to distinguish, you know. I almost gave up looking for the yellow cat.”

“No, those are Felix’s drawings. We needed a way to teach the new dancers the way around since the room numbers are too small to see from far away. What with the new added west wing…” Hyunjin explains. That tactic worked well with the new dancers, in his defense. Also, everyone loves Felix, so people just make it work, okay? It’s not hard. (Changbin and Jisung mumble their apologies.) Their dance studio is kind of medium-sized anyway. “This is the kangaroo room actually. We’re supposed to meet here today. And the cat room is the cat room because it’s Minho hyung’s favourite, but we have it reserved only for Danceracha stuff, thanks to Minho hyung being assistant instructor.” He winks, not sure why he just bragged about that but it’s valid, you know?

(There’s a quiet “Wait, this isn’t the cat room?” from Jisung.)

Changbin raises his brows and rubs his frown away. “Alright, fine. Makes sense. Innie dragged me all the way to the café then said ‘I need a coffee, give me money. Let’s meet in the dance studio’s cat room in 15 minutes. Go!’ and then… I’m here… and he isn’t, obviously.” He turns around to leave. “I’m sensing someone’s evil plan. Gotta go then.”

“No! Wait!” Jisung plasters himself backwards against the door like a spider to block Changbin’s way. Hilarious. Dramatic. Perfectly Hyunjin’s style. Hyunjin takes a seat on the floor while Jisung seems to gather his resolve in the face of Changbin’s narrow-eyed glare. This is the class clown Han Jisung Hyunjin prefers. “Hyung! We gotta talk too, you know, hyung. I’m begging you, Changbin hyung.”

“I don’t see you begging. Calling me ‘hyung’ in every sentence isn’t begging.” Changbin easily pries Jisung off despite the smaller guy trying to keep himself on the door with all his might, and reaches for the door handle (still, with Jisung trying to keep him from leaving). “I’d love to talk but not about the thing you wanna talk about so I’m gonna leave to meet Jeongin right now and… oh.”

Behind the door is Jeongin, short of grabbing the door handle himself. “Hello!” he grins brightly, pushing past Changbin and Jisung. “Where’s Minho hyung? Chan hyung isn’t here yet either?”

“Like I said this is the kangaroo room…” Hyunjin comments but is happy to see Jeongin anyway. The maknae always brightens everyone’s day.

“Ah…” Jeongin pauses in his steps, grin faltering as he notices Hyunjin’s presence. “I think I gotta tell you something too… Uhm, later though.” He twirls around, grabbing onto Changbin first and then Jisung, “You two, talk! Minho hyung will be here soon, get your shit together!”

Hyunjin gasps. He’ll never get used to Jeongin cursing. Their poor baby!

While Changbin is whining but lets himself get dragged into the middle of the room, Jisung groans the whole way (something about how he’s here on his own free will and doesn’t need to be dragged) until Jeongin plops down on the floor and makes them sit down as well. Naturally Hyunjin joins the circle, curious about whatever seems to be going on. Honestly all that was planned today was Minho picking up music from Chan so Minho, Hyunjin and Juyeon could work on a new choreography together and yet, somehow, it has turned into this.

“Today is confessions day,” Jisung says with his arms crossed, staring hard at Changbin.

“It’s not,” Changbin retorts, mirroring him by crossing his arms too.

Are Hyunjin and Jeongin supposed to play mediator or something? What’s this fight about exactly?

“It is! Let’s lay down all our cards and have a fair game!”

“It’s not a game, Jisung!”

“No, but it’s a metaphor, hyung! Come on, don’t be a baby.”

“I’ll be a baby all I want. Dudu, dada. See? I don’t understand you. I’m a baby. Changbaby.”

“Gugugaga, dadada, I don’t care! You didn’t let me stay a baby either! Take responsibility!”

Jeongin clicks his tongue at their conversation and Hyunjin feels his face pull into a grimace. They keep it up, making baby noises in anger at each other and at some point, it becomes animal noises – is that how squirrels and pabbits sound? They will never know but Hyunjin hates it – it really seems like they’re losing the plot here. Hyunjin is reminded of the one time – once and never again – that they played monopoly. Thanks to Minho and Jisung cheating and Jeongin encouraging the behaviour unknowingly, Changbin, Felix and Seungmin were losing their minds and so, Chan had banned monopoly for their get-togethers.

People like to call Hyunjin dramatic but he’s actually very peaceful, you know.

Out of the corner of his vision, still watching Changbin and Jisung argue about confessing something (that Hyunjin still has no idea about) and the value of friendship and love (?), Hyunjin notices the movement of people through the window at the door. Someone’s about to come in. Chan and Minho can finally put an end to this!

The door opens, revealing his heroes: a brightly grinning Chan and a disgusted Minho, how beautiful!

Somehow they’re unnoticed by Changbin and Jisung who are still too focused on arguing with each other, but Jeongin and Hyunjin are greeting them already with smiles and hand waves. It seems Minho did not know about any of this, plus he’s dressed for dancing like Hyunjin and unlike everybody else here. He probably put his stuff and Chan’s stuff in his locker before they came here.

“Would your sister be proud of you right now, huh, Changbin hyung?”

“Did you talk to my sister? No, she’s not, but I live my own life because I’m an independent man!”

“Ha! Living your own life my ass, that doesn’t apply here!”

Hyunjin just ignores the way Minho silently tries to leave, instead appreciating the passion. The struggling man is holding onto the door frame and trying to pull himself out of the room again and Chan is holding onto his waist tightly to keep him inside the practice room, still grinning like it’s all according to plan. Is Chan perhaps the cause of this? Will Minho be a sacrifice to the troubled idiots here?

“If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all! You never learned any manners, huh, you brat!”

“How am I the brat here?! Sometimes silence can make you the true meanie!”

Changbin holds up a hand. “I’m silent for the greater good!”

Jisung mirrors him immediately, matching his intensity. “The only greater good here is love! Speak the fuck up, hyung!”

In the background of their senseless back and forth, Chan drags a listless Minho over, having finally pried him off and away from the door. It must be nice being muscular, not that it’ll make Hyunjin go to the gym though. Jeongin hides a laugh behind his hand and Hyunjin just keeps grinning, impressed and amused. Like a light switch turned, Minho plays dead, probably just trying to make it harder for Chan to carry him to where their circle is. Nothing new.

And then Chan drops Minho onto the floor with a _plop!_

Changbin and Jisung pause their arguing to stare in bewilderment, needing a moment apparently.

Anyways. Minho has taken the necessary precautions to pull Chan down with him, not giving up on playing dead despite the dead grip on the oldest. Still, it seems Chan takes it as a victory because he simply sits up, Minho keeping him close in place by his shirt.

Changbin takes the situation in, staring at Minho and then Chan and then Minho and then Jisung and then the door, getting up in a rush. “I gotta go.”

“No, you don’t!” Hyunjin, for some reason (for the greater good?), interjects and wraps his arms around Changbin to keep him right here. Not sure for what but seems like the right thing to do, judging by Chan’s and Jeongin’s grateful smiles. Never forget that physical displays of affection are Seo Changbin’s greatest weakness in the face of any kind of emotional distress!

Hyunjin hugs him tighter.

Limp, Changbin just whimpers in his arms while Jisung seems to have calmed down, assessing the situation. On the other hand – well, gripped by Minho’s hand – Chan presents Minho with his own, “Someone wanna kiss the princess awake with true love’s kiss?”

In an instant Minho jerks back to life, eyes open to glare at Chan but threaten everyone. “Do not touch me.”

“You’re touching me though,” Chan holds up both hands with an unbothered smile, gesturing with his chin to Minho’s grip on his shirt. Minho frowns but reluctantly lets go, sitting up himself and pushing himself into the space between Chan and Jeongin so their round is an actual circle again, suspecting glances thrown Chan’s way still. Then Minho claps his hands to rid any dust and sits comfortably criss-cross.

“Disclaimer,” Minho starts, already looking done with the entire day or maybe it’s just his neutral face. “I refuse to do anything here except dance. I don’t care whatever it is, if it’s that important, you can try winning 'talking about it' through a dance battle otherwise I’ll just sit here and look pretty.”

“You always look pretty,” Jisung comments sincerely from the other side of their circle.

Minho rolls his eyes without sparing him a glance, lazily leaning back on his propped-up arms behind him. Chan pats Minho on the shoulder gently while Jisung pouts at the cold reaction.

As always Chan’s smiles are full of understanding. “The sooner someone decides to talk the better… one starts, the others follow. Take your time.”

Hmm, what is going on this time? Hyunjin is confused.

“Can you guys just talk it out please?” Jeongin asks, addressing only Minho, Changbin and Jisung apparently. Even Minho wavers when faced with Jeongin’s puppy eyes! “I just want us all to go back to normal and have fun together… I really missed just spending time with everyone, laughing and playing without all these messy feelings. I mean, it’s okay to feel things! But please…” Jeongin’s bottom lip juts out. “Let’s at least talk about the problems we face. We’re best friends! If you really love and respect each other, you’re supposed to let each other know about things honestly and try to understand each other too…”

Woah… that’s Yang Jeongin for you. “That was so cool of you, Innie.” Hyunjin sniffs with feeling, blinking away the wetness in his eyes. He cries at family movies so you think he won’t cry at this? He’ll try not to. “Can you say it one more time for your Hyunjin hyung? I’ll go get my phone to take a vid–” He stops at the glare he’s receiving from the youngest and nods his head in apology.

Not the time, fine.

A short-lived silence follows. Hyunjin wishes Seungmin was here to tell him what’s going on because he did sound like he knew more on the phone call before. Or Felix, if Felix asks questions or even if he doesn’t, everyone always answers.

Jisung raises his hand, serious and confident. “I would start but for my part, I need someone specific to lay down the groundwork first…” he drops his hand and glances at Changbin. Then he looks at Minho with sincerity, who immediately breaks off their eye contact, leaving his side profile for Jisung to look at.

“Do you want me to start?” Chan suggests. What a leader. “You’ll have to ask though. I don’t really know what to tell otherwise.”

Changbin just nods, not helpful. Jisung raises his hand again, “Uh, how about your theatre days?” Yes! Hyunjin is curious about that too. Great job, Hannie!

The question seems to confuse Chan a little though. “Mine? They were very fun and educational, I guess.” He tilts his head in thought. “The fun experiences are why I recommended it to you guys.”

“’Fun experiences’,” Minho scoffs. “Chan hyung, he probably wants to know about _that_. Bet Changbin tattled.” Changbin is already sputtering his defense.

 _Ohh,_ _how spicy_ …

* * *

There they are… finally! After searching for so long, seeing all kinds of stuff but never what was looked for, it’s finally here. So many colours, so many sizes and even various materials. Just imagine what you could do with all these… everyone should have one at home. There’s one for any type of person! Just look that sleek red classic one or the pink one out of metal with star shapes on it! Who would’ve thought that such things exist in flea markets? Maybe he should buy one for his boyfriend as well, who knows? Maybe Chan will like it…

Felix has never seen so many baseball bats in one place before!

“Honestly I was about to give up hope but I’m glad we found this amazing stall,” Seungmin smiles at the display, eyes raking over all the baseball bats. Some were even left on the closest table to try its hold. Seungmin takes one of them and swings it carefully at the side of the tent while Felix watches with awe. He expected something more boring looking but this is actually really cool.

They lost Chenle and Daehwi somewhere down the second row of the flea market but they’re fine, having found what they needed, as told to Felix and Seungmin per text message. Apparently girlfriends are really into specific models of satellites as gifts these days. Trends really change all the time.

“That’s why you need to research where to go. I told you this flea market has a famous baseball stall,” Felix gladly takes the baseball bat Seungmin hands him and also tries to carefully and slowly swing it.

His friend just watches him, content. “Yeah, I know, I looked it up when you told me. I already have my eyes on one too. What do you think, blue, yellow, pink or red?”

“Yellow! Try the pastel yellow one!” Felix excitedly, but carefully, puts down the baseball bat in his hands to follow Seungmin over to one of the stall managers to ask about one of the cased baseball bats. He should totally ask Seungmin for recommendations as well. Who doesn’t need a baseball bat at home?

“Now that we’re finished here, should we go join Chan hyung’s evil plan or stay out of it and go home like we planned to? Something troublesome seems to have happened…” Seungmin asks him on the way to the bus stop.

Honestly Felix planned on going home and inviting Chan over to test his baseball bat – Felix bought himself a baseball and a bright yellow baseball bat too, matching Seungmin’s pastel yellow classy one, both out of metal because the one made out of bamboo didn’t feel right – but alas, not everything goes according to plan. “Let’s go check it out, maybe we can help.”

“Alright,” Seungmin easily agrees, pulling out his smartphone to shoot Chan a quick text message about it. “Chan hyung is probably going to make them all talk if he hasn’t already by now. Minho hyung and Jisung should be fine, unless they caused trouble after we left the hyung-line apartment yesterday but that’s not likely, right?”

Felix takes his own out to send Chan a simple sparkly heart and pockets it again with a smile. Just as they reach the bus stop, the bus is already pulling up. “Oh please, you know them.”

Seungmin nods. “Wishful thinking, Felix.”

“Didn’t know you did that,” Felix shrugs. They board the bus, which is luckily quite empty, and look for a nice seat. Felix offers Seungmin the window seat and plops down beside him. “Let’s be real, Minho hyung and Jisungie could’ve been an item a long time ago. They’re the slow burn of the century, probably even in every alternate universe there is.”

“Agree,” Seungmin purses his lips and frowns in thought, looking at him. “By the way, while we’re on the topic of items: how did you get together with Chan hyung? I mean I know he always gushes about you whenever he can, but I didn’t know you two had a whole thing going on.”

Well, Felix didn’t know either until it happened. He giggles at the memory. “Seungminnie, this is going to sound weird but it actually started because of Minho hyung. The night we got together we were honestly just talking about you guys, all of our friends, lives and memories. But then – I guess we just couldn’t sleep – Chan hyung told me about his theatre days with Minho hyung and Changbin hyung.” The city scenery outside the bus window lets sunshine come through and Felix squints a little against it to see Seungmin better but gives up and looks at his lap instead. “Maybe I should’ve taken the course with you guys too. It sounded fun.”

“In that case you would’ve probably ended up being my partner and Jeongin would’ve been paired up with Hyunjinnie,” Seungmin chuckles.

“Nr. 1 best friend privileges!” Felix cheers just in time for the city scenery outside to be lit up completely by the sun peaking through the late morning clouds. “But next time just tell me when you’re dating Hyunjin.”

“Sure, next time. Sorry, it slipped my mind.”

“You don’t look sorry at all.”

Seungmin just gives him another cheeky grin. Some people are private by choice and others are like Seungmin, forgetting to even tell his best friends he’s gay or that he’s got himself a crush, let alone a boyfriend. Although, Felix bitterly narrows his eyes at the secrecy, Seungmin had asked for advice from their hyungs… “Just tell me about your love story, ‘Lix.”

“Fine, fine.” Felix squints against the sunlight to see his friend better. “To keep it short, Channie hyung has some interesting history with Minho hyung. And as someone who regularly leaves marks on Minho hyung’s thighs, I obviously wanted to know more. Well, that kind of escalated and then we were talking about feelings, like some feelings Chan hyung kind of has for Minho hyung, and then Channie hyung told me about his feelings for me and yeah… It was a whole thing.”

“Y-You do what regularly? And what kind of history did they have? Feelings too?”

“Oh, history as in: kissing happening, touching happening. Nothing, uh, naked.” Felix thinks about it once more. “Well, uhhh, it is what it is. Minho hyung also told me recently that he wanted to give his first kiss to a good person who loved him no matter what, and obviously, _Channie hyung_.” He emphasises which, if you ask him, says it all. Seungmin seems to agree judging by the understanding nod. “There’s a whole story behind it though, you should ask them some time.”

“I have a feeling it’s somehow connected to our fake kissing stick back then and Minho hyung avenging the teasing he suffered through our hands… or lips, ha.” Seungmin raises a careful brow.

Felix nods, “Yeah, that. And something about Chan hyung offering Minho hyung to drop honorifics altogether as a way to feel closer and Minho hyung making his heart throb with how cute and flustered he got every time he tried – shit, I really wanna see that too!”

“Intense…” Seungmin nods. “I understand the appeal. Jisung would pay money for that. Hyunjin probably too.”

“Me too, me too,” Felix nods empathically. “But yeah,” he recaps, “talking about friends and life, talking about Minho hyung, talking about feelings, talking about romantic feelings and then bam, Changbin hyung complaining about our noise in front of Jeongin.”

“Great, mentally scarring three of my best friends in one go,” Seungmin comments, then juts his chin out to the bus doors. “Let’s get off here, it should be close enough to the dance studio. I hope I’ll get to see Jisung’s face when he hears about this history. Cute love story, by the way. Don’t you get jealous though when you think about the history Chan hyung has with Minho hyung of all people?”

They stand up and make their way to the bus doors. Felix rolls his eyes playfully and throws an arm around Seungmin. “My dear best friend, I do not get jealous. I actually feel very happy knowing. I wouldn’t be mad if they got close like that again either.”

“Is that part of your open relationship thing? Is Chan hyung like that too?”

“Nah, it’s just part of me. Everyone’s different.” The bus stops, the doors open and they step out together. Felix smiles brightly at the way the sunshine falls gently over Seungmin’s features. And then they start making their way to the dance studio. “For example, Chan hyung has mild levels of jealousy, nowhere near Hyunjinnie’s or Jisungie’s. Minho hyung's... Or even Innie’s.”

“Oh.” Seungmin stops, curiously meeting his eyes again. “You know about Jeongin?”

If it weren’t for Minho’s and Chan’s helpful input, probably not. Sometimes hints and advising words can go a long way in helping someone realise and learn more about the people around them.

“Figured.” Felix adjusts his arm around Seungmin’s shoulders and makes them both walk again. “But still, even with my favourite couple Minho hyung and Jisungie, I have a feeling I’m not quite up to date yet.”

“You aren’t,” Seungmin confirms with a soft laugh. “But neither am I. Hyunjin is even worse off than you and I are… So. Is anyone really?”

“I have no idea… Man. Can’t believe we’re gonna have a heart to heart in the dance studio, the cat room where I always sweat my butt off the most…” Really, of all rooms Chan choose that one to meet in. It’s Danceracha’s little treasure! Why not the kangaroo room or the frog room? Danceracha didn’t sweat much in those two. “You think someone’s going to cry?”

“Hyunjin maybe, if we’re extra sweet,” Seungmin smiles fondly, eyes ahead. How sweet it is to be happily in love, just look at this cute puppy. “Ah, before I forget,” he glances at Felix, something smugly confident in knowing the answer and simply checking in. “If all else fails, do you still remember that plan you once made with Hyunjin?”

Truly, how sweet. Chan isn’t the only one with potentially evil plans.

Felix grins. “Of course, Seungminnie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **#8.16.22. P R O F I L E**  
>  **Name:** Lee Minho  
>  **Other (3) :** whenever he says something wise he promises himself to write a book but forgets it every time, not the best at volunteering pda unless he does it subconsciously, chan calls him naughty bunny but he firmly believes that chan is the evil wolf instead, resting bitch face to the max  
>  **How do you feel about the current events?:** “I can't believe I trusted Chan hyung and he betrayed me like this in my own four walls! [...] Why are you curious about that? It's more fun if I don't tell. [...] Not my problem. [...] If Jisung can be in denial then so can I!”
> 
> * * *
> 
> welcome back!! i know i'm very late, i've got a lot to do these days. i hope you've all been well! (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡  
> so there is only two chapters left, which will probably both be on the longer side. this chapter is to emphasise and hint at a few more quieter details and quieter dynamics of the story and of course, the importance of checking the details together with the big picture... if you know what i mean. wink wink. if you don't, don't worry, the last two chapters will finish it off.  
> well, what do you think about the current events?  
> i'd love to read your thoughts in the comments! ☆


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